summerset

What's negative or toxic is in the eye of the beholder. Keeping this in mind I definitely say: yes, the WLS community can be really toxic and negative in quite a few ways. I simply participate less and avoid certain discussions and/or members.

First step is analyzing what exactly went wrong. Taking action comes after that.

They also have an app that gets updated with new recipes.

Once the healing phase is over the two can work together quite fine.

Bring 'em on!

I never quite understood this. Sometimes I think it comes with the territory. Psychological exam needs to rule out an "eating disorder" before the patient is going to be deemed eligible for WLS. Ruling out an ED in someone who is heavy enough to need WLS... my ass. So maybe it's simply a thing of not being allowed to admit disordered eating. Just like one isn't allowed to admit that plastics are also for looking better and feeling better when we all know it's BS. Second thing is that the media only knows two eating disorders: anorexia and bulimia. We're just being fat and gross and weak willed. That's one of the worst things: remaining in the old black and white mode and refusing to learn being flexible - all too often out of fear. "I can't be trusted with food!" "I can't eat this or that in moderation!" "I'm a food/sugar addict!" "Only abstinence works for me!" Of course it is. Look at all the "HEEEEEELP!!! I've fallen off the wagon!!!" posts.

Blythe Baird just came into my mind: I've never found this to me more true than when looking at the WLS community. It doesn't matter how bad the relationship with food still is, even if it got worse. It doesn't matter when patients are starving themselves. It doesn't matter when patients overexercise. It doesn't matter when patients develop an intense fear of eating "bad foods". All of this doesn't matter to the patient all too often (and sometimes even not to the treatment teams as it seems) - as long as there is weight loss and finally that magical line to a normal BMI is crossed. The worst are the "motivational posts" when someone makes a vow to "get back on track" (usually with some kind of starvation or semi-starvation diet): YOU GO, GIRL!! YOU GOT THIS!!! YOU'RE GOING TO NAIL THIS!!! Going to get and nail exactly what? Getting onto the next dieting-bingeing-merry-go-round?? Getting deeper into disordered eating??

Just asking because many skinny people I know make less-than-ideal food choices to express it in a friendly manner, especially if they're still quite young. They all too often don't make these "sensible diet choices" and don't have these "healthy habits" so many of us think thin people do. Maybe it comes with the territory though - many medical workers in hospital settings have horrible diet/food habits regardless of their weight. On a side note this makes me wonder again what we're referring to when we're talking about "skinny" or "thin". Anything under BMI 19 or 20 maybe? Serious question because that's about the body frame and weight class coming to my mind then.

I don't know. How does a normal skinny person eat? And what is a bariatric recipe?

Why would anyone view a diet staple as a treat anyway?

As long as patients are getting scolded for their... "misbehavior" and on internet boards these three answers are dominant, this won't most likely not change. 1) Try harder! 2) Follow your plan! (Many times followed by "I did follow my plan to the T during weight loss phase!!" which isn't really helpful to someone struggling.) 3) Get a therapist! (I guess there must be some place where therapists specializing in eating issues don't have months long waiting lists and don't cost fortune simply fall out of the sky, yes?) There are several taboo subjects when it comes to WLS. Patients simply don't talk about it or only behind the metaphorical closed doors, doesn't matter if it's talking to other patients or their treatment team. Disordered eating is interestingly enough one of these subjects. Unfortunately disordered eating is all too often encouraged by fellow patients and sometimes also treatment teams as it seems.

It's going to take some more weeks I guess. Corona doesn't make it any easier. Everything has to be done online and via e-mail as it seems. I usually don't mind that but since all the people who usually don't do that order online, contact stores online etc. - there seems to be a huge we-are-behind-answering-mails thing going on right now.

Too much on the real life plate atm, sorry.

Depends on the subject.

I can't have dairy but that's about it. I've lived vegan for a while in the past and with so many substitutes available these days I don't mind it that much. A combo that sets me up for late dumping is the combination of sugar and alcohol, otherwise I'm fine. Pretty much. There are so many people with intolerances, e. g. gluten or lactose, nut allergies etc. - it kind of feels normal or at least like nothing unusual or special.

I'm convinced it's like that. Just think about some examples from other parts of your life. Would you tell a colleague who've just been fired about your new job that'll get you more money than you're earning now? Would you go on and on an on about your new relationship and how happy you are because of that in front of a friend who've just been divorced? I bet common courtesy would tell you to keep your mouth shut. It is human nature but in the end we're no better than "them". It only takes some imagination (and some honesty) to figure out what our own reaction would be in the same situation.

This. In the end our loved ones are just human beings, just like we are. Maybe they want to be happy for us but simply can't when it comes to weight loss because of their own issues.

And their own failure to lose weight. Talking about successful weight loss comes across as bragging all too often, even if it's not meant this way. However, let's face it: the bragging and humble bragging does exist in the WLS community.

Yeah, they also tend to change gears but don't tend to go away.

I think it might be (I can definitely be wrong though!) because of the pattern a treatment team is set up. Patients talk about their nutritionist, their surgeon, their coaches who set up their exercise plan - and the psychologist that had one talk with them to clear them for surgery as a necessity. While these people are very important - they are there for the "technical side" of things. They tell people what to eat, what exercises to do and how to perform them without causing injuries and they perform the actual surgery and maybe some of them regard complete abstinence combined with scare mongering and a patronizing attitude as an adequate strategy to "keep patients on track", no idea. However, a surgeon or nutritionist or exercise coach usually know zilch about disordered eating. A nutritionist worth her/his money should be able to spot some red flags when it comes to disordered eating and should then refer to a specialist. That, however, requires two things: a nutritionist worth his/her money and a patient not trying to hide disordered eating. And yes - it's quite easy to hide it if you know what you have to say to fly under the radar. I have no idea what people talk about with their therapists - but this therapist usually doesn't seem to be routine part of the treatment team (I think that's ok, extensive therapy shouldn't be mandatory; should be offered though if patient wants it).

This is so worth a full quote!