pearlygirl

This is an interesting thread....think it'll go anywhere? I am surrounded by alcoholism - My mother, my biological father, three of my four grandparents, several aunts/uncles and most recently, my brother. What a horrible disease this is. I don't drink at all and never will. For me, it simply isn't worth it. I have no contact with my biological father(I was adopted by my stepfather in 5th grade) - he is in a nursing home wth alcoholic dementia. My mom was sober for several years and has been on and off for awhile now. Currently she is in AA with a sponser and doing very well. My younger brother "came out" of the alcoholic closet in May of 07. He finally went to treatment at the beginning of November of 07 and currently has 8 1/2 months of sobriety. My mom and brother are the two that I am the closest with and affect me the most. Funny enough, I ended up working on a unit(I am an RN) that just so happened to start a detox program. I am glad it happened that way because it gave me additional training and education specific to alcoholism and alcohol wd.

I feel like almost anything is okay....IN MODERATION. If you're craving breaded chicken, this is a simple yet healthy way to indulge. I take chicken breast strips, dip them in egg beaters, then throw them in a big ziploc bag with crushed corn flakes and/or reduced fat cheez-its and bake. They are fast, easy and not a whole lot higher in fat or calories than just the plain chicken. I first made them because I thought my daughter would like them, it turns out we all do.

I use www.thedailyplate.com everyday and love it. I've never had those things happen though. I find it very quick and easy to use. Did you upgrade your membership? I just have the standard free membership.

Once you're approved, your're approved. They won't take it back. I was weighed on the day of surgery and had fallen under my required BMI of 40. It doesn't matter, they expect that you'll lose weight during the pre-op phase. Good luck to you!

Wow! I'm not sure why you're getting jumped on as you are. Some bandsters don't have current medical issues from being obese and some just choose not to wallow in them. While many bandsters primary reason for getting the band is to imrove or preserve their health, some have different reasons. Yes, looks are a superficial reason - but it is still a REAL reason. How many of us have been uncomfortable in our own skin because of weight? All of us, I would guess. With a wedding coming up OF COURSE the way you look would be a primary thought/concern. When I got married(and I wasn't obese then) I worked out with a personal trainer the whole summer leading up to my wedding. I don't think it's abnormal to be focused on how you look before your wedding. The first picture is you right...but you also said you are 70lbs heavier right now? At any rate, you did bring up the PCOS thing and let me just tell you - it may be harder to get pregnant but not impossible. I too have PCOS. I had to take clomid to get pregnant but have an amazing little girl who will be 2 in October. I was 230 when I got pregnant with her.

I didn't vote because I wasn't sure which option to pick. Most food tastes about the same except sweets. Some sugary stuff seems sickly sweet, I just can't stomach it. It isn't every sweet thing, just some. I took a sip of my husbands sweetened tea and felt nauseated. Other things are fruit juice(juicy juice 100% juice) and light cool whip.

I think a safe response that you can use with anyone would be something along the lines of "I really prefer not to discuss _______ (race, politics, religion, gender, sexuality, age etc) I find it to be a very personal thing" It shuts down the conversation and without stating your view lets them know that you aren't willing to participate in the conversation.

LMAO!!! I can see that being a great idea now. I unfortuatley made the mistake of going there on the first day of my preop liquid diet. My DH and DD were eating pasta, fruit, fish, chicken, granola bars, juices, pizza...you name it. I was politely declining but after like 8-10 samples I was ready to pull my hair out. I cannot believe how many samples they have...BIG ones too. Anyway, the next time my DH asks me if I want to go out dinner I'm saying "Yep, Costco"

I am probably opening a can of worms here...God help me. Those of you who are pro-life, is that in regards to everything or just abortion? How do you feel about the death penalty? Hospice care or comfort cares only in cases of terminal illness? I dont think that you HAVE to have the same opinions on all of them, just curious.

I like her too. Maybe her comment wasn't the most sensitive but this person DID decide to be on a COOKING show. What was she supposed to say...."Oh F*** it, let's scrap the cooking and go to the gym." ?? She feeds people on every show. If anything, I think the guest picked the wrong show to be on.

I can see how some of the lower BMI people could be offended by this thread but really....no one has said anything I would consider to be particularly offensive. Although, it seems to me that there will always be someone who thinks wls is a bad idea for anyone - BMI of 30 or 50. Whoever said it is between the patient and their doctor is right. I certainly don't feel as if my decision to get the band was between anyone but my doc and I. Fortunatley, I am one of the very lucky ones who has lots of support from all of my family and friends.

Being overweight is different for everybody. Some people who are just a "little" overweight have diabetes, high bp, high cholesterol, heart disease etc. There are some obese people who are as healthy as a horse, have high energy, are active and doing well. Of course, their chances of developing the above disease processes are increased. Height obviously plays a big role here too. I am 5' 9" and have a muscular build(under the flab that is). At 190lbs , my stomach is flat and I wear a size 12...to me, that's perfetly acceptable. For someone who is 5' 1", their BMI will be much higher and they'll be more affected by being at that weight. I think ANYONE who battles with weight and wants the surgery should be able to get it. I yo-yo'd between 175-210 for several years before I finally started packing it on(and keeping it on). It would have been wonderful to have surgery 5-6 years ago before things got so out of hand. For someone who is slightly overweight, 10-25lbs or so, I don't think surgery is the best option but if it's what they want and their doc approves, heck, go for it. Who couldn't use a little help with portion control? The thing is, I don't know many people and/or octors who would feel surgery is a good option in that situation.

Yeah, I'd have to say he's on a whole different level than what I had imagined when I wrote my first post. Whether he like it or not, this MUST be discussed. If you think it'll go better, write him a letter. Sometimes when I am the most frustrated and feel as if a conversation could potentially be damaging and way off track, I'll write a letter. That way you are able to clearly state what you mean without all of the emotion that comes from being face to face. I really think you may be to the point of really needing counseling. As someone above stated his behavior is almost abusive. The comments he makes are disrespectful, degrading and outrageous. I would put an end to that immediatley. He has to know that you will not accept anything but respect from him at any time.

I have the Realize band. My doc does both and I told him to use what he thought was best for me. One thing he did say that I liked, is that the Realize band is softer and more pliable causing less blockages or "stuck" food, as it can work it's way through the band. Also they showed me the band and while it does look triangular when filled, when you wrap it around something the fluid is dispersed an it makes and evenly filled circle.

This is a GREAT option for her!!! I specifically chose the band because I am not finished having children. I have a 20 month old daughter and would like to get pregnant again sometime next year. The benefit of the band during pregnancy is that they unfill it to give you the ability to eat enough for a healthy pregnancy/baby. With my daughter, I went through fertility treatments and then had a very complicated pregnancy. She was eventually born at 30 weeks and weighed only 2 1/2lbs. She is healthy and strong(praise God) but I decided that I wouldn't have another baby until I was at a healthier weight. The issues that I had during my pregnancy didn't neccessarily come from being obese, but it didn't help and may have worsened the problems I was having. There will be no taking chances for me when it comes to the health and well being of my children. So I will have another once my weight is under better control.

Oh, and about calling the woman's DH, my vote is no. Her marriage is not your issue. You really need to focus your energy on you, your kids, your husband and your marriage. I do understand the whole aspect of feeling like you've accomplished soemthing by making things worse for her. Honestly though, it isn't going to make you trust your husband, it isn't going to make your kids safe from all of this emotional drama, it isn't going to suddenly make you happy. Just concentrate on your own family.

I think this is right on. It is awful that your DH did what he did. It is awful that this woman didn't mind that he was married. Honestly though, her responsibility was not to you or your marriage. That was your DH's job. HE is the one who didn't keep his promises and vows. HE is the one that cheated on you and your family. HE is the dirty whore. I am not condoning sleeping with a married man by any means but it was your DH's responsibility to do the right thing. Maybe it is easier to be so angry and put so much blame on her but it belongs with your DH. He betrayed you, not her. I am not trying to be cold or rude. You certainly have my sympathy and my heart aches for what you've been going through. I really encourage you to seek couseling both for you alone and marriage counseling. It is very important(especially with kids) that you both are able to sort through all of these feelings in a healthy and safe way. Maybe you already are, I haven't read through the entire thread. Good luck to you!

I think it has been clearly stated that none of these comments are directed at someone who is suffering from depression, trauma or any other catastrophic illness or event. Rather, the discussion is about those who make themselves unhappy. The eternal pessimist if you will. Not depressed, not suffering from any condition, addiction or affliction. We have all known these people and they are hard to be around, they're draining and tiring because EVERYTHING in their world has gone, is going and will go wrong -simply because they have decided it will. I'm tired, I have a headache, it's too hot, it's too cold, it hurts, it's too tight, it's too loose, I won't have enough time, I don't like it, I can't do it, I won't be able to do it, nobody understands, nobody will help me, I can't do it by myself, I'm not good enough, I'll never be able to......the list could go on for pages and pages.

I think it is absolutely our responsibility to make sure that our SO feels loved, wanted and reassured. Afterall, did we not promise love and caring when we married. If my husband was feeling as if I was looking for someone else or something better, it would break my heart. I would have a serious no-blame conversation and let him know that your heart is his and that you are feeling sad about him questioning your love and desire for him. Over the years, there have been times that I've felt insecure related to my weight, his job etc. I know that my husband loves me and I trust who he is, you just can't help but feel a little insecure once in awhile. However, if this is an ongoing problem despite your efforts to let him know that your world is about him, I would seek marriage counseling as this could be detrimental to your relationship.

I just wanted to comment on the addiction aspect. I come from a family with strong addicitve tendancies. We have alcoholics, gambling addicts, and one food addict. Fortunatley, I have somehow been spared the addictive trait. A true addict(no matter what kind) has lost control over 'drug' of choice. Addiction is not a matter of willpower or laziness. I suspect that some here(no one specifically) probably have an addiction just based on the fact this is a very large group of obese or once obese people...statistically it is likely that there may be a food addict here or there on the boards. Anyway, by no means is every obese person a food addict. That would be like saying that every person who has been drunk is an alcoholic...it just makes no sense. For someone who IS a food addict it is as critical that they get the help they need, just as it is for a drug addict. They say that food addiction is one of the hardest to overcome because of the fact that you HAVE to eat to survive. With drugs, alcohol, tobacco etc you can avoid the drug altogether...you still have to eat, food never goes away. The fact still remains that for the majority of the obese population - we eat to much, don't exercise enough and find every excuse in the world not to. It is very hard to lose weight. The band makes it easier, but it is still hard. For those who find their way more quickly than others, kudos. For those who take longer, persevere - any step in the right direction is just that, a step in the right direction.

I am still pretty new to the band(2 months) but wanted to #1 - commend you on an amazing weight loss!!! and #2 - offer some support. You must have been banded for some time in order to have had such a great weight loss and although you are currently without restriction, you CAN do this. You have been "trained" by your band and have done very well. Sure, this may be a little harder but you are not who you were. You are a strong 150lb woman. You know portion control and will be successful and maintaining that while you are unfilled. I am sure you will get some great advice from others who have walked in your shoes. Well wishes!!!!

Do you have the realize band? I do and was also filled on the 23rd of April. I got my first fill at the end of May and it was also 4cc. My doc said that 4cc is the standard first fill for the realize band if you don't feel any restriction from the band itself. If you do, he gives 3cc. Anyway, I got 4cc and didn't really notice it until about a week later. I'm not sure why it took a week but that is when I found I did have some restriction. Right now I would say I have 'light' restriction. I am full quicker than before but I still can eat more than I am supposed to. I eat about 1 1/2 cups of food at each meal. Bread, fresh pineapple and anything not chewed well enough cause a brief pressure in my chest. I suspect that when I am properly filled, I won't be able to eat bread or fresh pineapple at all. It is hard to wait though. I too just want all of the weight OFF!! Are you exercising? I am doing cardio 3 days a week for 45 minutes and weight training with a trainer(and 20 min cardio) 2 days a week. The two days that I do with my trainer BUST MY A$$!!!!!! It is hardwork(and a little pricey) but so worth it. I feel very strong and confident. My next fill is on the 8th of July and I can't wait!

My MIL is the WORST. She is continuously asking me if I am "allowed" to eat things. It grates on my nerves like no other. I always tell her that I am in charge of what goes into my body and don't need someone to "allow" me to eat anything. On the other hand, I have found that I am becoming the food police. Crazy, huh? It's the worst with my husband. I don't actually say anything to him but when I see him eating gigantic portions, it just irks me. I feel like telling him he'll be the one needing the lapband next, lol! He eats his dinner, picks at whats left of mine AND our 20 month old daughter.

LOL!!! This is a GREAT thread. I don't think there is any reasonable argument against what you are saying. Sure, people get fat for different reasons, stay fat for different reasons, some gain/lose easier than others etc. Regardless, there is a very, VERY small percentage of people who truly have a medical condition that causes their obesity. Excuses suck. I have PCOS, that can make it a bit easier to gain/harder to lose. Guess what, there are skinny people with PCOS, there are even fat people with PCOS who become skinny...okay, so that excuse won't work. What it comes down to is simple....you HAVE to eat healthier food in smaller portions and exercise. That is how you lose weight with or without the band. Jachut, you nailed it. This obesity epidemic stems from BEHAVIOR!!

No kidding! That is ridiculous. I'd find some way to punish them too. I'd have them write a paper on respect of life and prpoerty of others. What jerks.