lisaannedp

Hi! I am hoping to be sleeved in April. I meet with my surgeon for the first time next Wednesday. I have done all of my pre-op stuff, and am just working on continuing to lose weight! I sent you a Fb request.

Three weeks ago when I saw my doctor, she wanted me to go on a 1600 calorie or lower eating plan for the three weeks between then and completing my steps. I see her tomorrow, and I'm terrified because I have not done as well as what I should have. I don't believe I have lost any weight. My struggle has been, I feel, mostly a "Farewell" to all of the gluttonous food I need to leave behind. I have cut caffeine, been drinking my Protein, bought a Vitamix to help with my pureed stage. I have been paying attention to drinking while eating, and trying to get out of that habit, quit drinking out of a straw, all of these things I feel like I need to give up and develop habits with. But the food has been the hardest. I find myself thinking "You won't be able to have this anymore, might as well". I am nervous that my doctor is going to feel like I am not taking this seriously enough, and delay scheduling my surgery consult with the surgeon. Which, I am taking it very seriously, and I feel I am doing my best, but it's very overwhelming to change your whole life in a few weeks. Part of me feels ashamed, like, "If you can't do this, how are you going to get through two weeks of liquids". And I just feel like I'm unraveling. Then my rational brain tells me to calm down and keep doing my best and not to worry. Has anyone else experienced these feelings pre-op? And how did you combat them? Also, has anyone had their surgery delayed for reasons related to this?

@JamieLogical@Ronjohn Thank you for your feedback. I am totally committed to this process, I really am. And I will FORCE myself to stick to the liquid diet two weeks pre op. The part I'm on right now is not an exact diet. Basically my doctor wanted me to start forming habits and eating healthy. There weren't a lot of stipulations besides to measure and track my food and do Protein to get in the routine. So I might have been overreacting a little bit, or dramatizing it. I won't threaten my health as far as the liquid diet goes. I haven't met my surgeon yet, nor do I have a date, so I'm still a ways away from the liquid part. I am just struggling with the Food Funeral part for sure.

Reading this post makes me sad. I agree that there are judgmental people in this world, especially when it comes to weight and health. I was very worried about this as I started my journey. However, I am happy to share, humanity has greatly impressed me. I have not told everyone, but my family, close friends, and close coworkers all know. And much to my surprise, not one negative comment. Every single person I have talked to about this has been incredibly supportive and overjoyed for me. I am so excited, it's hard to keep it to myself, and I don't want to live under a veil of secrecy. I don't believe it's everyone's business, and I won't be broadcasting it, or sharing Facebook updates regarding my surgery. But it was important to me to have autonomy and honesty with those closest to me. I need the support, and I need the positive reinforcement, which is all I have received. Moral of my story, give people a chance, they might surprise you!

I am hoping to be sleeved in February. I have done all my classes and steps, and see my doctor on Thursday. I am hoping at that appointment, I will be able to schedule my surgery consult. My fear at this point is that there will be more hoops. I am preparing myself, but I know I will be disappointed if there is more of a delay. I am nervous about the two weeks of liquids that my program requires pre-op, But I am trying to look at it like a very small sacrifice. I am self pay, so no insurance hold ups. Just ready to get this going!

Cannot wait to hear how your surgery went! I am hopefully going to get mine in February, waiting on a date. I can totally relate to your fears. The thing I am struggling with the most, and it sounds weird, is I love to drink out of a straw. And I know that's not a good idea post op. It's just been something that I keep thinking about. So we all have our stuff, but what a gift we have been given! Good Luck!

This is my first time on the site. I'm very excited to read everyone's stories and get some advice on mine. My story in some ways is a long one, but my journey to surgery has been relatively short. I have struggled with weight my entire life. When my doctor asked me when I first struggled being overweight, or when I went on my first diet, I honestly couldn't answer. I don't remember a time where weight wasn't an issue for me. Now, I am not a "sad" fat person. I have never struggled with depression, I have never honestly felt that down on myself. I have had fairly normal romantic relationships, am confident, and have an active social and family life. I have had the same struggles as everyone as far as airplanes, restaurant booths and vacations. The way I dealt with those situations was to "outsmart" them. I obsessively check the seat map when I'm flying (which is often). I change my seats constantly to try to get an empty one next to me. I carry my own seat belt extender so I don't have to ask for one. I will upgrade to first class, even if it's expensive, and I always try to have a travel companion, even if that means I have to pay for the ticket. Typing all of this out feels very strange. I have never ever told anyone about these secret behaviors. It feels shameful almost, but this is how I dealt with normal things. At a restaurant, I arrive first and request a table instead of a booth. Always plaster a smile on my face, with the thought that if I am extraordinarily nice to people, they won't notice I weigh almost 400 lbs. I suppose I have not come face to face with my weight in quite some time. My friends and family would consider me a happy and well adjusted person, and I am for the most part. But I have been micro managing the way my weight affects my life for as long as I can remember. Smile, look pretty, don't draw attention. I am funny, people like me. But they have to, right? You want everyone to like you so they don't notice the weight. In October, I began to have horrific nosebleeds. They were happening a few times a day, and they were terrifying. It was taking 30-45 minutes to get them stopped, and I felt as if I were bleeding to death every time. It was awful. Finally on Halloween, I had a family member drive me to the ER, I was in the midst of another nosebleed, and I was certain something was wrong with me. The doctors there were pretty passive, said that it's winter and dry and having bloody noses is not abnormal. They did say my BP was very high, but chalked it up to the stress and told me to follow up with my Primary Doctor. Thing was, I didn't have a Primary Doctor. I hadn't been to the doctor for years. I think as the weight came on, the more nervous I was that I would have health problems, so I avoided it. So of course, I did not follow up on the blood pressure. About two weeks later, I went to Target on my lunch hour, and there, right in the middle of the store, I had an episode that is still very hard to explain. I became extremely dizzy, I had to steady myself on my cart. I was hot, my ears were ringing, and I had an overwhelming urge that I needed to get out there, and fast. I drove myself home and sat down for a few minutes. I felt a little better, but still uneasy. I drove back to work, still unsure of what had happened. A coworker asked me a few minutes later if I was okay, and I most definitely was not. My eyes would not focus, I felt short of breath, and I was dizzier than I have ever been in my life. She asked me if I had taken any kind of drugs. She later described what I look like to someone that was going through a drug withdrawal. My skin was grey, pupils were the size of pins, and I couldn't communicate clearly. All I could tell her was, "Something's wrong". She drove me immediately to the hospital. When I arrived there, I was feeling somewhat better, but still not myself at all. I couldn't really describe how I was feeling. My sister in law met me there, and I could tell by the look on her face that she was scared. My first blood pressure reading in the ER that day was 194/126. They immediately did a urine test to see if my organs were failing, luckily they were not. My BP went down some as we sat there, but not significantly. The doctor told me I had to get this addressed immediately with a primary doctor, or I was going to have a stroke. I made an appointment the next morning. The Thanksgiving holiday fell between my ER visit and my appointment, and it was the worst holiday I have ever spent. I was having racing thoughts, horrible anxiety, and fairly sever discomfort. When I checked my BP, it was always skyrocketed, which lead me to think "worst case scenario" every time. I was sure I was dying. My mind went to how my family would find me, how they would feel. I considered how hard it would be for the paramedics would get me out of the house. I was miserable. I met Dr. Thomas on December first. She was the MD I could get in with first, and I feel that was a gift from the universe honestly. I unloaded on her and rattled off all of my issues and symptoms. I am fairly certain I sounded like a crazy person. She believed what had happened to me at Target was a Panic Attack, and she felt I was suffering from extreme anxiety as a result of exceptionally high blood pressure. I went on Blood Pressure medication that day. She also prescribed me a rescue anxiety med in case that part of things became an issue. I had never met a doctor that listened to me like she did. I felt she was my peer, not my doctor. I was so comfortable talking about everything. She ran every blood test possible, and amazingly, Hypertension was my only diagnosis. A1C, thyroid, and cholesterol were totally fine, which was incredible. It was at my second visit with her that I asked her what she thought about weight loss surgery. She gave me a referral, and honestly that day was the first day of the rest of my life. I realized, going through all of these things, I HAD to have a major change. Dealing with my high blood pressure, and how it made me feel was the scariest thing I have ever been through. As my blood pressure got under control, so did everything else. I didn't feel crazy anymore, I was having the racing thoughts or the fears about dying. I was starting to be me again, but I knew this was just the beginning. I called the Weight Management Clinic very soon after that and started my process. My insurance will not even consider covering the Sleeve. I was very disappointing to hear that, but I did luckily have another option. My dad expressed that he would gladly foot the bill if I was serious about this, and it's what I wanted. That was a very tearful conversation. I have never asked for help from my parents before, so it was hard to accept. But I will forever be grateful to him for giving me this gift. So here I am, 2 months into this journey. I've completed just about all of my steps, I have one more group next week, and then my exercise evaluation next week as well. I have an appointment with my weight management doctor next Thursday, and then I will hopefully be able to schedule my surgery consult. Not dealing with insurance has made the process a lot quicker. I am hoping for surgery in February, although I am told that sometimes the surgeons have other steps they want you to complete. I am a little scared, I can't lie. I am nervous for the pre and post op parts. But I am so looking forward to the future. The thing that has been the most amazing to me is, every single person I have talked to about it has been super supportive. There has not been one single person that has said "You know, I think you should wait", or "Are you sure"? It's incredible. I have carried this weight and this burden with me for 30+ years. I am beyond ready to shed it and move forward with forever. I am so grateful that I am as healthy as I am, and I am so thankful that I had these things happen to bring me to this place. I know it will be a long journey, but I couldn't be more excited. And after all, that's what it's all about- the journey, right? Good luck to everyone that's starting this journey, this is just the beginning of our story!

Not at all. I'm 380 now. BMI 61. I'm very excited for this step!

@@OutsideMatchInside Your post just gave me goosebumps! Sounds like we have a lot of similarities to our stories. It's so encouraging to hear about your success!!! It's an inspiration, and makes me even more excited about this process! One question, have you been able to go off of your BP meds?

@@Bluesky1 I am trying to prepare myself for some sort of delay, but I am sure hoping i don't have one. I have guardianship of my teenage brother and he graduates in May, so I am really hoping to be feeling well and 100% by then. Which i don't know if I will, but I am hoping a few months post op and I will be okay.

@@Bluesky1 I will for sure. I have more appointments next week. I feel so happy I found this site. I just want to read everything there is to read. I have been praying too, and I feel very deeply that this is the absolute right decision for me.

I love love love reading this thread. I am 35, having surgery soon, but would like to have a baby once it's safe. I never felt I was healthy enough before, and when I first starting considering surgery, I thought it meant I was giving up ever having a baby. But seeing all this positive feedback on here has made me realize that is not the case. Thank you everyone!

@@Bluesky1, I hope ours are close, that would be great to have a comrade. I am feeling so energized reading everyone's experiences, I am sure I am going to have so many questions! My biggest thing right now is, I am scared that my surgeon or doctor are going to have a reason to push my surgery off for some reason. I am always afraid I am doing something wrong, or they will want me to do something else before I can schedule. I think I am just overthinking it. What kind of diet plan does your doctor have you on right now?

This is very helpful. I am self pay. My first appointment with my Weight Management Clinic was December 22, and I am hoping to have my surgery next Month.