I can understand how you're feeling. I haven't been scheduled yet but I am scared. Scared of what can go wrong when chances are nothing will. Scared that all the things I enjoy, the little pleasures will never be something I will get to experience. But the thoughts that scare me the most are never seeing in my oldest son graduate high school, helping my daughter get ready for prom, or teaching my youngest son how to drive. I would give up all the little life pleasures to be front and center for every event and experience in my kids life. I want to be healthy and alive for them. That thought makes this whole process worth it. Only you can make the right choice for you. I wish you the best of luck.