LauraMesquite

I haven't posted here in weeks because I've been alternately ill and trying to get set up for the surgery. I don't know why I'm actually surprised, but I've been denied surgery because ... get this "you're depressed." Duh! Ya think? The surgeon I met with, well, it's part of his process to send you for psychological testing before surgery. I *knew* how to beat the test, but didn't know if that would be a good thing to do and so I was honest -- all the way around. I took the testing last week, then saw the therapist directly after. She was concerned, so I had to go back today and she told me I'm too depressed and have too many issues, and, as a result, she says "people like you" never truly succeeded. So I'm sh*t out of luck, stuck with this damned body with all its illnesses, and, -- oh yeah -- on the way out of her office, she smiled and said "I hope you have a VERY Merry Christmas!" I just stared at her and left. I've lost my last chance. My doctors have told me I'm going to die without this surgery. I guess I'd better get my things in order. Anyway, I wanted to thank everyone for their kind words of advice snd support, and wish I everyone Merry Christmas or Happy Chanukah and Happy New Year . To all of you approved for the surgery and waiting, or those who have had it done, I wish the very best for you. Sincerely, Laura

Hi Everyone. I hope everyone had a nice Christmas. Mine was okay, all considered. I just finished reading what everyone has said here and I'll address the main one first.... REVERSE MORTGAGE... I *did* look into that when I first considered the lapbanding, however, I decided against it for ONE reason -- my Mother. She's 80 and she lives with me. I have insurance on the house (and in the codicil to my Will) in such a way that if I pass away before her, it goes to her, paid off, free and clear. She does NOT make enough on her own retirement and Medicare to make the mortgage payments, even though I've gotten them down considerably, plus all the insurance, utilities, etc. Without the house payment, she could make it here. I *won't* put her name on the mortgage because, IF I pass away ahead of her, then she *does* have to make the mortgage payments. Either way if I *do* the reverse mortgage, she's out in the cold, on her ear, and, quite frankly, there aren't any other family members able/willing to take care of her. (She was the youngest of her siblings, and the last one -- the oldest --passed away nearly 2 months ago). I had ONE sibling and she died in '84. I'm not married, have no kids and no nieces or nephews. There's no one else to take care of her. I can't take care of her PHYSICALLY, but I can monetarily by deeding the house to her. Texas has a Homesteading law, and, as such, since I *did* homestead the house when I bought it, even if I had to declare bankruptcy, even if it wasn't paid off, it couldn't be taken from me. I will NOT give that up. Period. If I pass away before her, the house, the deed AND the homestead passes to her. So, at least, if I *do* pass away before her, she'll still have a place to live. I can at least give her that. I moved my parents up here to live with me in '96 when my Dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer, and then after he passed away in '97, I asked her to live with me. They'd lived about 2 hours s.e. of me, out in the boonies, and I brought them up here so my Dad could get the medical care he needed. There was none down there. My Mom's largest fear in the world is being thrown out into the street, and if I reverse mortgaged the house and passed away, that is EXACTLY what would happen to her. So, it's simply not an option. PSYCH EVAL I'm sorry, I can't go back while typing this to look to see who said what -- but to whoever was concerned about their upcoming psych eval, I'd just suggest you think over VERY carefully what you say. The BIGGEST point against me, according to that therapist, was when I answered that it was TRUE that I was an "emotional eater." I know few overweight people who aren't, in some fashion. As you can see from the different comments in this thread, apparently each psych eval is different. MINE was NOT a written test. It was about 100 questions -- all TRUE/FALSE and you used a pencil to fill in a dot. To assess it, they ran it through a computer and depended on the assessment of the COMPUTER. Reminded me of taking the SAT test or those kinds of tests in high school and college. Ain't that swell? The doctor's office called me on Monday to give me the name of a PSYCHIATRIST they want me to see now. I DETEST PSYCHIATRISTS WITH ALL MY BEING. No offense if there are any psychiatrists on this board or people who know/like/admire them, but in my opinion, they run a photo finish with lawyers -- and that ain't sayin' much. I've had BAD experiences with FOUR (4) of them when in a GRIEF situation, and I swear, they were nuttier than anyone *I've* ever known who WAS truly loco. I've not called to make an appointment yet as I'm trying to decide if I REALLY want to put myself through that again. DEPRESSION As to WHY depression is a count AGAINST the surgery -- I'm just as stumped as everyone else. I *know,* as I've said before, that weight CAUSES depression. I've also been told I'm "chemically depressed," which is a function of my own body and brain workings (or *not* working, as the case may be). I know that people eat because they're depressed and they're depressed because they gain weight. It's a vicious circle. I don't know why some doctors believe depression is a reason to HAVE the surgery while, apparently, MINE thinks it's a reason NOT to. Ironically, I was referred to him, and had faith in him BECAUSE I'd been told by several of his lapband patients, that he felt that "depressed people deserved to lose weight and be happy, too." Apparently not enough, though. :::shrug::: What can I say? Believe me, I *do* want some part of my life back. When I was about 260 lbs or so, I actually hiked across the Alps. I've walked all over Europe and all over England. My biggest dream is to go to Egypt and back to England just one more time. THAT is what I want. My 80 year old Mom is physically having to take care of ME. She's getting frail and she shouldn't be having to do this. *I* want to be able to help her when and if she needs it. I am BEYOND angry at being denied the surgery ... because "you're depressed." That's an excuse, not a reason. NOW A QUESTION... Someone earlier in this thread mentioned something about pains int he chest after lapbanding, and referring to it as "PB-ing." What does that mean? I've had to become well-versed in my own chronic illnesses, but I' never heard of PB-ing. It may mean something I've heard of and I'll hit myself in the forehead and say "DUH!" after I hear the meaning. I'd appreciate a definition. Thanks to everyone for your continued concern. Laura

Firewheel, Geez, I sound like a big ol' "Negative" machine here, but, yes, I've tried that. Even though I'm at "poverty level" of income, I do *not* qualify for any of these programs because I "make too much money". Go figure. Laura

Poodles, Thanks for the idea, but I was never into LOTR. On the other hand, I *am* an X-Files fan. Big time. And that pretty much describes my life -- it *is* an X-File, and this is only another chapter in it. I'm glad your elvish ring helps you. I *am* passing along that link to a friend who is a BIG LOTR fan, however. She and her hubby might enjoy having one of those rings. Laura

Emily, I don't get this either, to be honest. I was told repeatedly by *many* people who had been referred to him that this doctor felt that "even depressed people deserve to have the surgery and be happy." So, I'm just stumped. Thank you for your prayers. I appreciate them very much. At this point, I am BEYOND depressed. Gee, I wonder why? I just wish she'd waited until NEXT week to tell me. Helluva Christmas present, if you ask me. This time last year I was in the hospital with pneumonia all the way through and including New Year's day and a few days after. Christmas year before I was in the hospital with pneumonia. Christmas, for me, isn't an inspiring or fun time of the year anymore. NOW I have to go to a Christmas gathering of what's left of my family and PRETEND to be happy. BAH! HUMBUG!! Laura

Hi Firewheel, No, I have no way of borrowing money and I barely make ends meet with disability payments. I have a house payment and all that goes with it (utilities, taxes, upkeep -- I have to pay someone to come mow and cut the bushes during the summer because I physically can't do it). The only GOOD thing about working for lawyers all those years was the amount of money they paid me -- they *do* pay you to mentally/emotionally abuse you (I'm *not* joking about that). And they DO pay QUITE well, not to mention the OT rate that I made. Because of that, when I bought my house in '92, I was able to make triple payments each month and I've managed to get the house paid down by roughly 4/5ths of the original cost on a 40 year mortgage. Still, I owe that 1/5th. I *refuse* to lose my house. I'd have nowhere else to go and no money to pay for anything else anyway. I've got too much invested in this house to give it up. I had to buy a new car in 2000 (I drove my 11 year old car into the ground driving to work in downtown Dallas -- where I live has no mass transit -- and it was at the point of giving up the ghost), just before I got so sick and my doctor took me off of work. Fortunately, I'd been planning to get OUT of the law field, and so I'd worked a LOT of OT, saved up and paid cash for the car, so I never had car payments. I don't have prescription drug coverage so ALL my many RXs -- and there are a LOT of 'em -- are out-of-pocket expenses, to the tune of nearly $800/mo. My internist gives me as many samples as he can each month and without those, if and when I have to pay for ALL of my Rxs out-of-pocket, I'll likely have to declare bankruptcy. I do NOT want to do that. I'd checked into lapbanding *and* gastric bypass WHEN I was working, but my insurance wouldn't pay for it. Period. Not even with many doctors' letters stating that it was medically neccesary to save my life. The law firm I worked for is paying my disability and they are trying to DENY me the disability, but my doctors, fortunately, have proved, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I *am* disabled, and it's NOT because of my weight. It's because of all my chronic illnesses which I've had since childhood. Weight is actually only a SMALL component of it. Now Medicare WILL pay for the lapbanding *because* I qualfiy with high blood pressure *and* sleep apnea, but ONLY if approved by doctors/therapists. Since I'm *not* approved, and have been blatantly denied, there's no way. IF the law firm EVER manages to legally deny my disability, I'll lose those payments *and* Medicare. ONE Procrit shot (and I get them 2-3 weeks out of the month) costs TWICE the amount of ONE of my monthly disability payments. ONE Remicade infusion costs slightly more than ONE-HALF of what my YEARLY pay was when I worked for the last law firm. Obviously, there's NO way I could continue with those treatments without the disability and Medicare. And without them, I'll die. It's a vicious circle. I hate to be so negative, but I just don't have the fight in me any longer. Laura

I truly appreciate everyone's concerns, but, to be honest, as Mel Gibson and Danny Glover said in the "Lethal Weapon" movies, "I'm gettin' too old for this sh*t." And I really am. I'm guessing I'm a WHOLE lot older than most of you, and given what I've seen in those who have been lapbanded and have their ... I don't know what you call them ... "scales" at the bottom of their messages, tracking their original weight and their goal weight, I've got a LOT more to lose than anyone else I've seen. I'm just very tired of this. I'm tired of being CONSTANTLY told "did you know you're FAT??" by every doctor around. NO, YOU THINK??? I'm just plain tired. The only thing I wish is that that therapist had waited until AFTER Christmas to give me this news. Great way to screw up a holiday, thank you very much. The reality is, I *am* depressed -- more than I'd like to be -- and I've tried just about every depression med out there and most of them have severe side-effects my body simply cannot tolerate. My internist is a psychiatrically trained M.D., too, so he knows his depression meds and I TRUST him. We've tried everything and they either don't work or make me even sicker. The only one that doesn't is Prozac and I'm on the highest dosage of that possible. Also, and no matter WHAT I'd said to that therapist, she didn't truly HEAR me ... I have a number of GENETIC arthritises, NOT remotely related to weight (even though I'm SURE if I were able to get the weight off, it would ease up on the joints and the vetebrae somewhat). However, my rheumatologist has told me for decades that the depression is PART OF the arthritic process. Beyond that, there are situations in my family life that have NO hope of being "fixed" (because the other people involved do NOT want to get along and never have) and *that* will never change. It hasn't in over 50 years, so I simply do *not* believe that *they* will change now. If anything, in the past year, specifically, they've gotten considerably worse and a HUGE rift has happened in what's left of my family. No one's talking to each other, and *I* am tired of the b.s. from all of them. What irritates me the most is that in the therapist's waiting room today, there were several people taking the test and discussing the questions, and they ALL were outright saying they were going to LIE about their answers because they realized that by being honest they would NOT be allowed to have the surgery. I guess I should've lied. My problem? I'm *not* a liar. Karma bites me in the butt every time I lie, so I didn't. Another mark in the therapist's book against me was when I told her I'd ALWAYS been overweight and some of my earliest memories are of being made fun of because of my weight. WHY that should go *against* me is beyond my understanding. As to the diets suggested, I appreciate them, but I have a bunch of rather severe food allergies which include wheat Protein, egg protein, milk protein, peanuts, chocolate and fish of all kinds. There's another I'm forgetting at the moment, but all of those combined make eating very difficult for me without becoming violently sick at my stomach. I'd seriously rather have a hand cut off than to have an upset stomach. Been living with *that* all my life - and *it* is part of the arthritic processes from which I suffer as well. Frankly, I don't get it either -- at least PART of the reason for the depression is BECAUSE of the extra weight. Go figure. I'm just overwhelmed and stumped at the moment. :::shrug::: Laura

Hi, I live in Mesquite, Texas (a 'burb of Dallas). I'm investigating the entire lapband process. I've been referred to Dr. Richard Anderson at the Surgery Center of Dallas. Has anyone used him? Can anyone tell me anything about him? I admit, I'm not thrilled at the concept of "going under the knife," even if it is a minor procedure. Obviously, I'm morbidly obese or I wouldn't be considering this. I'm also disabled, but it has nothing to do with weight -- I have a number of genetic illnesses that make life difficult in the first place. The extra weight only adds to the problems. I'd love to hear some recommendations for doctors in the Dallas area. I've heard about a Dr. Nguyen Wyn in Frisco but haven't been able to find an address or phone number on him. I have 2 srikes against me going in: 1) I'm on Medicare and, while I have several different problems that QUALIFY me completely for lapband, I know Medicare will fight it. As I'm disabled, I don't work and have absolutely NO income outside of Medicare and Social Security Disability (not married; no second income). 2) My longtime gastroenterologist, I discovered recently, wrote in his notes -- ON RECORD -- that I am suing a hospital where I was taken in a coma last year. I was severely mistreated there and actually physically abused. I seriously CONSIDERED suing them for it, but knew I wouldn't have the money or enough witnesses to do anything, so I didn't pursue it. I mentioned to my GI that I *wanted* to sue them, but never that I was doing so. Now, when he refers me to any other doctor and sends copies of is records, the doctors see that and refuse to treat me. They've never come right out and said it, but I've never been turned away from any doctor before, so I feel quite certain that's what's happening. My internist believes I'd be a good candidcate for lapband (I really do *not* want a gastric bypass for so many reasons, some of which are medical), but finding someone who will do it on Medicare is going to be tough. I simply cannot pay for it out of pocket as I do not have that kind of money. ANY ideas, suggestions, names of surgeons (and their phone numbers or ewbsites) would be seriously appreciated. By the way, what's a "fill in" doctor? Thanks! Laura

Hi, I live in Mesquite, Texas (a 'burb of Dallas). I'm investigating the entire lapband process. I've been referred to Dr. Richard Anderson at the Surgery Center of Dallas. Has anyone used him? Can anyone tell me anything about him? I admit, I'm not thrilled at the concept of "going under the knife," even if it is a minor procedure. Obviously, I'm morbidly obese or I wouldn't be considering this. I'm also disabled, but it has nothing to do with weight -- I have a number of genetic illnesses that make life difficult in the first place. The extra weight only adds to the problems. I'd love to hear some recommendations for doctors in the Dallas area. I've heard about a Dr. Nguyen Wyn in Frisco but haven't been able to find an address or phone number on him. I have 2 srikes against me going in: 1) I'm on Medicare and, while I have several different problems that QUALIFY me completely for lapband, I know Medicare will fight it. As I'm disabled, I don't work and have absolutely NO income outside of Medicare and Social Security Disability (not married; no second income). 2) My longtime gastroenterologist, I discovered recently, wrote in his notes -- ON RECORD -- that I am suing a hospital where I was taken in a coma last year. I was severely mistreated there and actually physically abused. I seriously CONSIDERED suing them for it, but knew I wouldn't have the money or enough witnesses to do anything, so I didn't pursue it. I mentioned to my GI that I *wanted* to sue them, but never that I was doing so. Now, when he refers me to any other doctor and sends copies of is records, the doctors see that and refuse to treat me. They've never come right out and said it, but I've never been turned away from any doctor before, so I feel quite certain that's what's happening. My internist believes I'd be a good candidcate for lapband (I really do *not* want a gastric bypass for so many reasons, some of which are medical), but finding someone who will do it on Medicare is going to be tough. I simply cannot pay for it out of pocket as I do not have that kind of money. ANY ideas, suggestions, names of surgeons (and their phone numbers or websites) would be seriously appreciated. By the way, what's a "fill in" doctor? Thanks! Laura

Hi, I live in Mesquite, Texas (a 'burb of Dallas). I'm investigating the entire lapband process. I've been referred to Dr. Richard Anderson at the Surgery Center of Dallas. Has anyone used him? Can anyone tell me anything about him? I admit, I'm not thrilled at the concept of "going under the knife," even if it is a minor procedure. I've looked into gastric bypass in the past and have seen several doctors, but after only a 30 minute or less talk with them, they've all told me the usual "you're fat, go home, lose weight," and don't want to remotely help me. I'm absolutely terrified I'm going to be told the same thing. I've had 2 of my doctors tell me lately, that unless I do the lapband or gastric bypass, I am going to die. I do NOT know how to talk to new doctors any longer without getting really angry at their attitudes. PLEASE ... any help would be appreciated. I am disabled, but not because of my weight, although I *do* know that losing weight would help with my medical conditions. I'm absolutely desperate at this point as diets do NOT work for me, no matter how strictly I follow them. BTW, traveling to another city for this procedure, regardless of whether it's Waco, Ft. Worth, Houston or wherever, is close to impossible due to my disabilities. It NEEDS to be Dallas. Any advice and help is greatly appreciated. Thanks, Laura

Thank you for the information. I appreciate it! Laura Mesquite, TX

Laura, Terri, Keri and Carrie, What are the odds on all those names being so close? LOL Thank you all so much for your information. I am SO concerned about this whole process. I need some reassurances outside of just going to the doctors and hearing about their programs. Do any of you suffer from IBD/IBS or spastic colitis, and if so, how has this surgery affected you? I've suffered with that one all my life, and I swear I'd rather have an arm cut off than have an upset stomach. As it is, I'm eating roughly one meal a day -- it's all I can get down -- and from what I've read I'll actually be eating a whole lot more than I currently do. I avoid eating because it just hurts too much. Unfortunately, that causes my metabolism to go into "starvation mode," which only aggravates the weight problem. If anyone has any positive comments on this, I'd so appreciate knowing about them. I'm willing to bet I'm a whole lot older than the rest of you! To be so cowardly about this is just overwhelming and so unlike me. Again, thank you all. I very much appreciate your support and your comments. Laura in Mesquite, Texas

Hi, I live in Mesquite, Texas (a 'burb of Dallas). I'm investigating the entire lapband process. I've been referred to Dr. Richard Anderson at the Surgery Center of Dallas. Has anyone used him? Can anyone tell me anything about him? I admit, I'm not thrilled at the concept of "going under the knife," even if it is a minor procedure. Obviously, I'm morbidly obese or I wouldn't be considering this. I'm also disabled, but it has nothing to do with weight -- I have a number of genetic illnesses that make life difficult in the first place. The extra weight only adds to the problems. I'd love to hear some recommendations for doctors in the Dallas area. I've heard about a Dr. Nguyen Wyn in Frisco but haven't been able to find an address or phone number on him. I have 2 srikes against me going in: 1) I'm on Medicare and, while I have several different problems that QUALIFY me completely for lapband, I know Medicare will fight it. As I'm disabled, I don't work and have absolutely NO income outside of Medicare and Social Security Disability (not married; no second income). 2) My longtime gastroenterologist, I discovered recently, wrote in his notes -- ON RECORD -- that I am suing a hospital where I was taken in a coma last year. I was severely mistreated there and actually physically abused. I seriously CONSIDERED suing them for it, but knew I wouldn't have the money or enough witnesses to do anything, so I didn't pursue it. I mentioned to my GI that I *wanted* to sue them, but never that I was doing so. Now, when he refers me to any other doctor and sends copies of is records, the doctors see that and refuse to treat me. They've never come right out and said it, but I've never been turned away from any doctor before, so I feel quite certain that's what's happening. My internist believes I'd be a good candidcate for lapband (I really do *not* want a gastric bypass for so many reasons, some of which are medical), but finding someone who will do it on Medicare is going to be tough. I simply cannot pay for it out of pocket as I do not have that kind of money. ANY ideas, suggestions, names of surgeons (and their phone numbers or websites) would be seriously appreciated. By the way, what's a "fill in" doctor? Thanks! Laura

Thanks! I *will* check with him! Mesquite or Garland would be SO much closer for me, obviously! I truly do NOT want to have bypass, for reasons I'd rather not list here (don't want to discourage or scare other people). But I *do* need a new GI doctor since my old one has thrown me aside and the new one wouldn't touch me due to the old GI's records saying I'm suing a hospital. *sigh* What a freakin' nightmare. Laura I even WORKED for lawyers for years and never sued anyone!!!

Thanks, Terri. I hope I can find someone to help me. I am beyond depressed, and I have to say, having read some of the comments herein, it's scared me more than I want to admit to continue considering the surgery. As it stands right now, I have no quality of life, due to my disabilities, and I can only hope that the surgery would help. There's no guarantees, however. BTW, Phoenix and Tucson, along with London, England, are my three favorite places on the face of the earth. I miss traveling something fierce. Laura Mesquite, Texas

Thanks for the information. I'll check into them. Can you please tell me who your GI doctors are? I need a new one, and obviously, I can't get one with what my last GI doctor has written. I no longer see him because he refuses to treat me, I suspect over my "alleged lawsuit" of that hospital.

Hi, I live in Mesquite. I'm investigating the entire lapband process. I've been referred to Dr. Richard Anderson at the Surgery Center of Dallas. Has anyone used him? Can anyone tell me anything about him? I admit, I'm not thrilled at the concept of "going under the knife," even if it is a minor procedure. Obviously, I'm morbidly obese or I wouldn't be considering this. I'm also disabled, but it has nothing to do with weight -- I have a number of genetic illnesses that make life difficult in the first place. The extra weight only adds to the problems. I'd love to hear some recommendations for doctors in the Dallas area. I've heard about a Dr. Nguyen Wyn in Frisco but haven't been able to find an address or phone number on him. I have 2 srikes against me going in: 1) I'm on Medicare and, while I have several different problems that QUALIFY me completely for lapband, I know Medicare will fight it. As I'm disabled, I don't work and have absolutely NO income outside of Medicare and Social Security Disability (not married; no second income). 2) My longtime gastroenterologist, I discovered recently, wrote in his notes -- ON RECORD -- that I am suing a hospital where I was taken in a coma last year. I was severely mistreated there and actually physically abused. I seriously CONSIDERED suing them for it, but knew I wouldn't have the money or enough witnesses to do anything, so I didn't pursue it. I mentioned to my GI that I *wanted* to sue them, but never that I was doing so. Now, when he refers me to any other doctor and sends copies of is records, the doctors see that and refuse to treat me. They've never come right out and said it, but I've never been turned away from any doctor before, so I feel quite certain that's what's happening. My internist believes I'd be a good candidcate for lapband (I really do *not* want a gastric bypass for so many reasons, some of which are medical), but finding someone who will do it on Medicare is going to be tough. I simply cannot pay for it out of pocket as I do not have that kind of money. ANY ideas, suggestions, names of surgeons (and their phone numbers or ewbsites) would be seriously appreciated. Thanks!