Veiados

My surgery was December 7th, 2015. I know I'm barely about to get into the 5th week but not a day has gone by that I don't regret my choice. I find myself hating people for enjoying food while I'm stuck vomiting up 90% of anything solid I eat. I have random bouts of anger and sadness to the point where I have to leave, even my family and friends, just to be alone and slowly slip into memories where, despite being overweight, lonely, and miserable...I was still happier than I am now. I close my doors because the smell of food infuriates me. I lock them so my family and friends don't see how angry/sad I am. I stuff my head into headphones so I don't have to hear their joyous laughter and I lie to myself so I don't just vanish into obscurity. ...when I do stop regretting this?