Heather I

Her response is totally bizarre, and I frankly think you are being WAY too nice to accept this shitty behavior from her. If you want to keep her in your life, I'd limit your contact and conversations to few conversations about safe topics, ignore your surgery in her presence, don't count on her for squat post-op, and let your awesome results speak for themselves.

Something tells me she won't be around six months from now, claiming you have "changed" and aren't the same person. She's already putting it out there that your mind WILL change. IDK what her problem is, but her response is rude and weird.

Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone in this. I'm in 16s, so hardly model-size, but I'm a little nervous about getting into truly smaller category. I want it to happen, but I have never been under a size 12/14 in my adult life, so this would be really new territory for me in terms of attention and people "discovering" that I have a personality and a pulse now that I'm not heavy.

So, I am down 55ish, and I had two run-ins with men I see probably quarterly. Both were appropriate in terms of not making a pass at me (both married, as am I,) but one made a comment how different I look, and he turned the conversation to would he ever have had a chance with me 20 years ago if we met then, ha-ha? I was thunderstruck and demurred and changed the topic.

The other man normally can barely make a grunted hello to me when I pop by to see his wife. I went to drop off baby gear to him and his wife for their granddaughter, and all of a sudden he's chatting my ear off, invited me in for coffee (I was chatting on the front step.) He was totally fine ad appropriate, but it was a marked change in behavior with me from before WLS.

I haven't told many people about my surgery, so I'm just shrinking in front of them as they see me quarterly.

I guess I'm just very conflicted about this and don't know how to feel. I'm kind of bitter -- not that I want to be hit on by married men that I have zero interest in starting anything with -- more so that I am now worthy to be chatted up, you know?

I have always been an exuberant extrovert, so it's not that I now have amazing confidence and was a wallflower before. I will definitely cop to dressing better and grooming (hair/makeup/nails) are now done 95% of the time -- but my kids are now 3 and 4, and I'm also not in the trenches of toddlerhood, either.

IDK. I have a long way to go to get to my last-skinniest weight of 183, when I felt like a million bucks and knew I looked really good. I was single then though, and looking/dating.

Guess I'm rambling, but a little weirded out and, like I say, bitter that now I'm worthy to be talked to or you have an interest in what I have to say? Didn't expect to be conflicted about this, but I am.

I had two insurance/doctor office screw-ups/delays, but barring those, 10 months initial information session to surgery with all the BS appointments, CPAP stuff, lab work done, NUT appointments, surgeon appointments, psych eval.

@@Elode, I knew you had jaw surgery coming up but was thinking it had already come and gone, not imminent. Good luck! I'm 5'8", too, and am 227. My husband is already calling me the incredible shrinking wife, so to say I can't imagine hitting 120 at your/our height is an understatement!

Can you drink Protein shakes with a straw?

I try to pick stuff that makes yummy day 2 leftovers. If you do tex-mex, I love fajitas, and just eat the vegetables and chicken and a little guac, do a bite of Beans, and take the rest home. It's fabulous the next day as leftovers for me.

Salmon is soft and usually comes as a small portion. Take half your chicken home. I love leftovers though, and I know not everyone is into that.

@@MichiganChic, I know we've discussed this before and had our respective hands slapped for supposedly not eating clean enough, but I agree with you and @CapeCrooner. Now I see why so many people are overweight and why I would kill myself for six months to lose 10 lbs doing conventional diets and exercise.

I really don't think we, as humans, need that many calories a day to survive. Maybe if we were working farms and doing physical labor, but if you're a desk jockey like me, it is very tough. I'm so grateful to WLS. I couldn't have done this on my own, and I feel really bad for so many overweight people I know who are working hard to lose the same 3 lbs every month on a Quest for losing 80+lbs.

Okay, good to know, @@JamieLogical! I have looked at couch to 5k in the past and used it. I guess I won't know until I try and see where my stamina is at -- if I'm able to jump in at week 3-4 or need to do the baby steps.

Okay, I was sleeved 9/19, and there is a local St. Patrick's road race on my 6-month anniversary that I'd LOVE to run/walk to Celebrate my anniversary.

It's 6.2 miles. Four years ago I jogged a 5k pretty easily at a slow 11-minute pace, which was fine with me. My goal was just to RUN the whole thing and make no stops. Aside from an emergency pee break, I did it and felt great.

Another kid, three years later, and -30 lbs from when I ran back then, I'm debating singing up for it and, if I do, how do I train for it?

I just recently rejoined the gym and am spinning 2x a week and doing Pump class 2x a week. I live in the Northeast, so it's been cold and rainy all winter long. I can't count on good weather to get outside until very late February, which only leaves about a month to train outside.

I also have two kids, 3 and 4, who I have to figure out how to incorporate them into running for training. I do have a double jogging stroller and a nice bike path in town that's 3.5 miles. However, it's not maintained for snow/ice, so only passable when dry for several days in a row. Not trying to make excuses, but want to also be realistic.

I can take the kids to the gym with me and use the treadmill, just didn't know if that's okay for running training since the terrain is so different?

Thoughts? Tips? I think this would be an awesome celebration of my anniversary, but I don't want to sink my battleship and end up hating doing the race. I'm not at all interested in a fast time or anything, just would like to consistently jog the whole race (which has some steep hills.) That, to me, would be a huge accomplishment.

What do you think? Doable? If so, what should I be doing? Length/miles/time/occurrence per week to train?

@@Elode, can we have a final "after" pic, now that you are fully healed? I've been waiting for another update for months!

It took me 11 months from the initial orientation, where I knew I wanted surgery desperately that first day, to finally getting surgery.

I banged out all my pre-op stuff within a month, got my CPAP, and then . . . waited, and waited, and waited to be seen by the psychologist, nutritionist, and other medical staff required for the insurance hoops to jump through.

Then my surgery was postponed 2x (five months!) due to insurance snafus and the doctor deciding to go away for vacation the week of my planned surgery, pushing it back further.

By the time surgery happened, I was totally over the whole process and was just freaked out it would be delayed or cancelled again due to some unforeseen event beyond my control! LOL.

The only "plus" to the drawn-out process is I had obsessively scoped out this site and knew what to expect, had all my supplies ready to go, and was just ready to get on with my life.

I'm 4 months out and, while very happy with the surgery and comfortable with the new eating lifestyle plan, I'm a little "meh" with my loss. I'm happy to be -55, but a little discouraged it slowed down and I still have another 60-80 lbs to go. Still feels a long way off to goal -- or even Onederland.

IDK if this helps or hurts you, but I think waiting so long does kill a bit of the buzz. Good news is though, you're ready, and it IS dramatic the changes, especially the first month or two. You'll be totally jazzed at the rapid changes.

I agree with @illailla. My husband met me at around 255, got up to 282 after 2 kids back-to-back, now at 228, headed to 160 or 140. He has loved me at all the phases. Not all guys are crazy jerks, not by a long shot.

@@twins2016, how long stalled? My loss has slowed a lot the past two months; some a combination of bad habits that snuck in over the holidays, and some I think just due to losing a good chunk of lbs and the body adjusting.

How is everyone doing now that we're all about 3-4 months out? I feel great, but no energy surge I heard about. I'm still on my BP rx's though, and PCP wants me to stay on them until my next follow-up in early March.

I started the gym 2-4x a week about a month ago and have noticed a jumpstart to losing whenever I go, so that's certainly motivational!

I'm hovering at -55 lost at a little over 4 months out. Is this in the normal range or on the lighter side? I feel like it's the lighter side -- have some people killing it and down -75 in the same time range. I know we shouldn't compare, but it would be reassuring to hear I'm at least in the normal range. My Nutritionist said yes, doing fine, tweak the diet and do more exercise, which I agreed with. Guess I just need to hear it from other sleevers!

@@nolaguy, it doesn't hurt for me now, but now that there's way less padding down there, I need a MUCH more light touch to be stimulated. Try having her on top so she can control the pressure/movement.

Also, has she started any sort of bike riding regimen? I restarted spinning after a 10-year absence, and it took a good two weeks for my private area to come back to feeling normal again.

I started taking it 3-4 months preoperatively and am still taking it 4 months postoperatively. IDK if it's fake science that it works or doesn't work, but figured one mega bottle from BJs was a small price to pay if it DID work, so have been taking it now seven months.

I can only speak for myself, but I have very nice, thick hair, and am at the point most people experience Hair loss from the trauma of surgery and weight loss, and I feel my hair is just as good as before surgery, if not better. My hairdresser just commented on how healthy and shiny it is Friday, and she doesn't know I had surgery. I just asked if there was breakage/thinning or any issues she saw.

So, FWIW, what's a $15 bottle of Biotin if it helped me? I pissed that money away on nonsense in the past, so if it helps; great. If not, no big deal. It's just one more Vitamin I add to my daily regimen, hardly a hard thing to implement.

Oh, and I aggressively scrub brush my body in the shower. It temporarily plumps up the skin (minimizing any wrinkles/cellulite look,) and gives me a rosy glow. Throw on some Jargens self-tanning lotion, perfume, light a candle, put on the clean, soft sheets, and enjoy yourself.

You can always be on the top with a hot bra on, too -- that's a good look. Or just ravage your guy and say you want to keep it on because you are so eager to be with them;-) They'll never know it's because you are self-conscious. Win-win!

Well, Soma has been having some amazing end-of-year sales, so I bought beautiful nightgowns, robes, bras and panties, so I always have a pretty foundation that makes ME feel good. It's not for anyone else, but I always love pretty underthings and nice pajamas.

As for the nookie, I'm loving my smaller size, but there is now more Jell-O-y squishiness to me now (working out at the gym to tone, but it's going to take work!)

I pulled out my sexy schoolgirl outfit this weekend a la Brittney Spears "Hit me one more time," LOL, and the little white top covers my upper arms, squeezes the cleavage together cute, and skirt hides the squishy lower belly and legs. Hubby was loving every moment, and it was a fun changeup in the routine. Maybe look into some fun role playing with costumes? They're almost all cut the same; tight/low tops for cleavage, tight in the abdomen, then flaring out to some sort of skirt.

There is also the thing that, if a guy is interested enough to sleep with you, he's fine with whatever jiggly parts you may have. I think good lighting and an enthusiastic attitude end up mattering much more than freaking out about stretch marks or flab. Very few people over 30 look super hot naked like a movie or porn star, LOL.

I think, once you cut loose once or twice, you'll be fine. Just bridging the gap the first time is jittery.

Well, you're killing it with -80 lbs lost in six months! You weren't as high up there to get the big numbers others do, so I first think you really are ahead of the game and definitely on track for where you should be, but I totally get wanting to keep the momentum rolling!

Have you had your body fat checked? What kind of workouts? Heavy cardio? Weights? Walking? I hate to say it, but you may just be at a wicked stall as your body settles in. Have you had other stalls before now? This may be your first real one.

I think you're smart to do the reset and shakes. Maybe try to do them one week out of four each month to jumpstart you losing again? Hit it hard for one week and see if it shakes things up. If it doesn't do anything, maybe increase your food/calories? Have you experimented with the 5/2 eating program, kind of semi-fasting and then going up high in calories the next day?

What a cruel jerk! That's awful. Glad you ditched the bum. Let some skank have his sorry ass and STDs.

Can you update your stats, please? Where did your surgeon recommend you start off for calories/carbs/protein/water, and where are you now? I can't imagine you are still at -17 lbs at 6 months out. Have you lost significantly? Need more information.

Saddlebag central over here. Yuck!

Well, it wasn't quite at that point, but the maneuverability and ability to quickly change positions is much more fun!

I have lost 55 lbs, and the first 35 only a couple people noticed. I'm going to go against the grain here and suggest waiting to buy a dress until more last-minute. David's has TONS of nice stuff off the rack, and you aren't necessarily looking to get a bridal dress, just a pretty dress.

Go to the 2/4 appointment and try on everything you like, ask the questions about tailoring and easiest styles that can be taken in, but I'd hold off buying until early March. The scale sometimes doesn't move, but the inches shift around. My body is shaped differently than it was before at this weight. I lost a LOT of my butt, am used to having tons of gaping in my pants and always wearing A-line dresses. You don't know where you'll be in another month or two.

And, yes, David's will give you the hysterical scare tactic that they need months and months to get a dress in and have it altered, yada, yada, yada, but everyone I know who has gone there has gotten their stuff in within a month. It's a national chain, so you could always have it shipped from another store or drive to the other location to pick it up.

What the -- what? Everything you wrote is lovely, affirmative, and positive. They're nuts! It's definitely not you.

Skinny Girl has some delicious, and I mean REALLY DELICIOUS Asian recipes that are super healthy. I have made her spring rolls, a shrimp dish made with peppers -- just so good! I know she does Asian Soups in there, too, just haven't tried them.

As for being out and about running errands, I now keep almonds in my car, bottled Water, and premixed Protein shakes. I also live in New England, so it's cold in the car all the time now, so not worried about spoiling. Still, it helps when you are out much longer than anticipated to get in some Protein and liquids. You need to pack an emergency kit for the car, just in case. Those cheese Wisps (sold at Costco) are delicious and savory. Crunch like a chip, packed with flavor, high in protein, and portable to the car.

Great job on the steps!