Heather I

@@AvaFern, you are being VERY hard on yourself. Take a minute for yourself. sleep for two days straight, find a hot tub, get a massage, eat at nice (healthy) hot meal at a restaurant that you didn't have to prepare, and practice some self-love. You, obviously, are very intelligent. This is a hugely stressful event and time, and everything you are feeling is warranted! I'm glad you've already stopped yourself after a mini binge from doing too much damage, further going down the shame spiral of overeating and beating yourself up. It will be okay! Rest, distract yourself with something nice, and think about your options in the light of day in a moment of calm. You've accomplished SO MUCH. I know when you are looking ahead to all the things that HAVE to be done, it's overwhelming. When you are up for it, take it in bites; see what needs to be done to retake the class, investigate options to maybe petition the school to change policy on working full-time? You're going to be a lawyer -- you know how to argue for what you want! They taught you! You CAN change things from within. Toss the food, and try to stop beating yourself up so much. If the worst thing that happens is you have to retake a class or repeat, God forbid, a semester -- in the grand scheme of your life and desired profession, it's a drop in the bucket! Think of how much time you lost being overweight, thinking you could never go to law school. In comparison, repeating a semester is NOT that bad. I know it throws off your graduation rotation, but there's summer school and winter classes, too, right? In the light of day, after some much-needed rest, look at your options. You are healthy, young enough to do what you want with your life, and killing it on all fronts. You may meet someone, if you want to, as well. You never know what the future holds! I met my husband at 38, was married 10 months later, and pregnant with our son within 5 months, and pregnant with our daughter under a year after that. By 41 I was married with two toddlers! I also changed careers after 22 years, had major surgery, and other major life events. I'm a Type A planner/worrier, and that will never change. But, having said that, as I get older, I really do appreciate that adage; we plan and God laughs. It will be okay. You know what to do. Don't kill yourself over one class. Sending you (((((hugs)))) galore. You got this!

My plan recommends 100 grams of Protein just as a general rule, as a woman, not a guy working out. I'd definitely up the amount you get in. Are you getting in good rest? Have you had your CPAP machine (if you use one,) adjusted? I'm really tracking EVERYTHING and am finding sleep is a huge factor in how well I eat and how much I lose. I'd think it would affect your muscle recuperation, too. My newest fitness goal is 7 hours of sleep. Anything else above it is gravy.

I'm committing to a friend January 2017 to go spinning/pump class 2-3x a week. Accountability to meet someone works for me, plus the socialization aspect is fun. I'd *like* to fit in some home exercise DVS 1-2x a week in the winter when the kids sleep, but I'm being realistic and not seeing it happen quite yet. Spring/summer/fall I am MUCH more active with the kids and meeting friends to walk/hike. IDK. Not making excuses (I hope,) but can you set a date after the holiday craziness to start something? Maybe meet friends at church and walk/exercise after services?

Just speaking for myself, the only times I lost significant weight (40 lbs on WW a decade ago, and now 45 lbs since surgery 9/19,) no one noticed until I hit 40 lbs for me! I'm a little miffed in one aspect that I'm not getting complimented, LOL, but then I see how far I have to go still to get out of the 200s and closer to just an "overweight" BMI, etc., etc., that I get it -- 40-45 lbs is a LOT of weight, but when you are close to 300 and a girl -- well, it's a drop in the bucket. I expect you probably didn't change clothes too much on the pre-op, but now that you are close to -100 lbs, you must be dressing differently, in new, maybe more fitted clothes? 100 lbs is going to show now. I have no words of advice, but be proud of what you've done for yourself. The accolades (and gossip) will come later. You did this for you, not the audience down the line. Congratulations on kicking butt!

@@Aleathia, here's the weekly breakdown. I always find this fascinating and love how people add it to their ticker info at the bottom of the screen. I need to figure out how to do that, but for now, this is me: Pre-op -14.1 (2 weeks liquids, some protein/carbs) Week 1: -7.7 Week 2: -1.5 Week 3: -3.9 Week 4: -3.6 Week 5: +1.7 Week 6: -5.4 Week 7: -1.6 Week 8: -3.2 Week 9: -0.8 Week 10: -5.0

Hey, @@Aleathia! Glad to year from you!!!!! Happy sleeving! LOL, so we each lost 6 lbs post-op! Top incision open, is that okay with doctors? Weeping, or really open? I'm doing good! I'm -45 as of yesterday, around 2.25 months out. Thanks for asking! I feel wonderful, like I never had surgery. Still sticking to the plan, now cleared for any kind of food I want. Unfortunately/fortunately, I can eat anything with little repercussion, so IDK if that's good or bad long-term for keeping weight off. I'm tracking EVERYTHING in MFP, and really quickly was able to get up to 900-1200 calories a day. I'm trying to keep it back at 1000 calories a day because my loss slowed at 1200 a day. I do 40-60 carbs a day, and if I'm at the 60 range, weight loss slows. Grrr. I'm hitting the Water goals and 100 grams of Protein goals a day no problem, but I'm still averaging 1-2 Protein shakes a day to do it. What else. . . I went from a 22 LB to squeezing almost into a 16 at LB, LOL. I'm still a solid 18 in any other store's pants since they don't usually have the spandex component. Went from a 40c to 38c, quickly nearing 36c. Sucks to lose the girls first. Not cute without a bra on to hoist them up. Pleasantly surprised at the skin -- not bad! Considering I do almost no exercise and was flabby to begin with, I think I'll do well once I get working out and doing weights and more resistance work. I've dabbled a little over the holiday with beer and white wine. I now can stomach both -- tried earlier and it hurt me. I'm not dying to drink, but it's nice to know I can be social if I want to. Thanksgiving I focused on dark turkey meat, Canadian meat stuffing (more protein,) butternut squash, green bean casserole, and saved carbs for white wine. I ignored any bread, potatoes, bread stuffing, carrots, Desserts, and cheese and crackers. It was fine, which was really nice. I hope this feeling lasts, but the times I've cracked and had "bad" food, either I had diarrhea the next day (sorry, TMI,) or -- more importantly -- didn't get the same satisfaction I thought I would from before surgery. I really am looking at food differently now. It's so hard to cram in the protein and stay under 1000 calories, there's not much left for wiggle/junk room. I look at things in terms of nutritional bang for the buck and, for the most part, don't miss the old crap I used to eat. I DID let cheese and crackers back into the house, and that was a mistake. That's my go-to quick snack when pressed for time, and I can eat a ton of crackers with no issues. Trying to learn from my old triggers and plan ahead. Now, I have a Protein shake in my daily coffee every morning, so that's 30 grams in by 7 a.m. I eat eggs with the kids; more protein. Then I'm at work and MAKE myself guzzle the 3-4 cups of water with Crystal Light, so I know I'm at least halfway to water goals by midday. lunch is usually a turkey burger with a slice of cheese or avocado on top, or else deli meat and cheese, or turkey meatballs in marinara. Late afternoon I might putter for more protein or the dreaded cheese and crackers, and then have another protein shake. dinner is whatever protein dish I can get my hands on. Life has been crazy and has only started to slow down as of yesterday. I've had no time for exercise or meal prep/planning, but I changed my work schedule (and kids' daycare/home schedule) so I can cut costs having them home with me and not have to work so much, thereby, in theory, allowing for more free time to meal plan and exercise. I really need to find non slurry protein foods I can make in advance that I can just microwave and go. I like a crunch/texture to my food, so stews and chilis are getting old. My loss has not been consistent -- at all, LOL. When I have more time I'll detail it, but honestly, it's like -5, then -.2, maybe -1.3, -.3 -- it seems very slow and spotty, but the little bits add up to a lot! I'm calming down on my paranoia about wanting to be down a million pounds in X amount of time. I am now looking at this as a great opportunity to learn about my habits/triggers and work on tweaking myself with improvement as I go on this journey. Also, seeing that I'm being compliant with food, meeting my goals, and STILL having weeks of no loss -- or sometimes even a freaking GAIN, it makes me kinder with myself on failing in the past before WLS. Granted, I'm not working out, but still -- I NEVER stuck to a low carb/high protein diet at 800-1000 calories a day with just willpower, and I see now that even being "perfect" (or pretty darn close,) I still have gains and stalls and weeks where the losses are just piddly. I guess it's just my body adjusting, doing its thing. Please keep me posted how you are doing! So glad you got your surgery in 11/11. That's wonderful!

Wow! Amazing! Are you working out or just focusing on the food intake?

Well, I'm a little confused by your plans to follow the rules but then also eat and drink wine at the same time? Am I misunderstanding? If you follow the low-carb/high Protein rules, keep the protein and Water up, then yes, at the appropriate time after surgery you can certainly have wine again and more "normal" foods, but if you are sedentary due to paralyzation and choose pre-surgery fattening foods -- yeah, you'll eventually regain. Maybe not the whole 70 lbs, but it's going to come back on. I wouldn't necessarily worry about getting back to your "normal" eating. If you never had a weight problem before, you may already eat pretty healthy and may just need to tweak it a bit post-op after you are cleared for all foods. Why not embrace the new eating style? It's really not bad at all. The mushy phase sucked for me, but once that passed, I've transitioned to all foods okayed, and honestly, the few times I had pasta/heavy carbs or something fried -- it just didn't agree to me and wasn't worth it. I'm glad I tried it (in teeny quantities,) but if only to tell me my limitations.

@@Aggiemae, it got confusing because the OP quoted a response to me and then included an addendum, but OP @ bayougirlmrsc had her husband accuse her of cheating and being too skinny, not my husband. (He has other issues, but those specific comments weren't his.)

Congratulations! You are doing amazing! You look beautiful! Yahoo!!!!!!!!!

Just a quick update, we talked a lot, and I reassured him I want no one else, but he does need to step up his game in the romance/positive attention department -- I can't do all the heavy lifting in the relationship. He booked a surprise evening out this weekend to a cool concert and is making a whole day out of it; a bite out, maybe a drink after. I think I need to work on boosting him up a bit, too:-)

I had a couple sips of my husband's beer at 6 weeks out -- and I mean baby sips -- just to wash down something spicy, and the carbonation was not fun. Now at 8 weeks out, I have a weensie solo shot cup of apple pie moonshine, and it's fine. Wine tastes gross to me -- tried a sip of it and it wasn't good. I'm okay with Water, but I do miss social drinking -- not drinking to excess, but I can't fathom a beer at this point. Oh well. Small price to pay in the long run to get where I want to be.

OMG, my mind is blown! Awesome!

@thenewkel, ugh, IDK. I agree it could be what you said. I don't want this to be the beginning of the end for us, because he does have some wonderful qualities (or else I wouldn't have married him,) and we have two young kids. I'm willing to fight to make things right, but him painting himself as the victim of this demanding wife who expects "so much" is not helping things.

@@bayougirlmrsc, well, I hope I don't end up with my husband being like your husband, but I'm upset how things are going. I'm 2 months out and -40 lbs. People are starting to comment with very appropriate compliments, and I get nothing but negative comments now. I didn't think we'd have a problem with this. My husband didn't say boo about me wanting WLS, although he did say he wished I could have done it "on my own," which as we all know isn't happening if we are at the point of needing surgery. I blew it off. I was naked last week, and he commented on my surgery scars and said I'd have to get a tattoo to cover up the scars. I said I didn't care; they were fading fast and a light tan would cover them. The same conversation, I said I'm closing in on 40 lbs, I feel like I'll hit it this week and it's finally starting to show I'm losing weight. He said, yes, you have lost your boobs and they are saggy. You'll need surgery to fix that. Some friends came over this weekend who hadn't seen me since surgery and were very complimentary (gay guys, but still guys,) and my husband felt compelled to show a video of our kids' swim instructor and point out how good she looked in her bathing suit after having 3 kids. I called him out on it last night and we fought about it all night and this morning (thereby blowing his plans to fool around. To say I wasn't in the mood is an understatement.) I said I need to be thrown an occasional bone and compliment versus insults, and he said I expect perfection in a husband and have unrealistic standards of romance and marriage. To be fair, I got pissed and said I wasn't in LOVE with seeing his 50 year-old saggy old man ass and droopy balls that are now bigger than his penis (yeah, I went there. I was really hurt,) and I asked him, do those comments make you feel "in the mood" and desired as a partner? He got quiet and said, "Oh, so that's how you view me." I said not all of him, but there's things I overlook in HIM and would never make mention of. To which he said why don't I divorce him and get a new stud to fit the bill. After bickering back and forth via text this morning, he apologized and said he'd try to do better, but this really sticks in my craw. I have always had a higher sex drive than him before surgery, and he's particular anyway about when/where/how we do it, whereas I'm a throw-down kind of gal. Post surgery, I have ZERO sex drive, and IDK if it's a hormone dump gone wrong (since everyone else seems all revved up,) or if the lack of enthusiasm and compliments or appreciation for what I'm doing is killing it for me. I'm hurt and pissed. I do know he loves me as a person, despite what I wrote up there. He always compliments me as a good person, wonderful wife and mother, great friend, and all-around do-gooder. He thanks me when I cook and do laundry, and he can be very chivalrous when he wants to. I also out-earn him, and while I could care less and don't mention it, it bothers him greatly. So, IDK if this is insecurity or latent rage at me or what. All I know is he said I'm crazy and need a therapist. I think he's gas lighting me and keeps turning it back on himself like, poor him, I'm this crazy, unreasonable, demanding wife who would like a periodic compliment and to be treated better than the potted plant in the corner.

I was out and busy, but unlike you I did stop at Wendy's. I ordered just the Jr. cheeseburger deluxe, but picked off the bun. Can I just say, GROSS!!!!!!!!!!! OMG, I used to love Wendy's, but the charred, square patty with mayo and fixings was SO not yummy, and it sat in my stomach like lead. I wasn't sick, but I didn't feel great. Happy to discover it's just not worth it.

AMAZING!!!!!!!! Truly inspiring! Are you exercising? What's your regimen? You are killing it!

I would have done surgery at 2 in the morning in a driving snowstorm on my birthday if it meant getting it done sooner to start this new chapter of my life. Almost 2 months out and it's the best thing to ever happen to me. I was postponed 2x (six months) due to insurance snafus and doctor scheduling delays. I would do it again in a heartbeat!

Just a thought, but every time I start an exercise program, I KNOW I retain Water in my tissue for a good 10-14 days. Super frustrating! I'll be all excited and motivated to go balls to the wall and either GAIN or maintain for weeks. Then, BAM, I'll drop 2-4 lbs in a week. Maybe try flushing your system really well with water?

You can take prenatal Vitamins now; generic are fine. Really, you only need an additional 300 calories a day for the baby -- starting in the 2nd trimester, so keep your diet healthy and balance, and it IS safe to keep losing lbs while pregnant in the first two trimesters. Obviously, don't limit yourself to 600 calories -- I'd think 1200-1500 would be fine to keep you going and the baby healthy.

Awww, congratulations! I had mine at 39 and 40, and aside from barfing 24/7 for two years straight, perfect pregnancies. Gestational diabetes kept me eating very bariatric friendly, and my friend LOST 40 lbs while pregnant following the gestational diet and had a very happy, healthy LARGE BABY. They'll tell you no deli meat, sushi, booze, drugs, cigarettes, swordfish, raw meat, and limit tuna fish. Really, it's just common sense. I'm thinking 7 months out you lost a large portion of your weight. Keep the diet healthy, eat small -- but often -- and drink your Water. You'll be fine! Congratulations!

I have sizes 24-10, and I can't WAIT to donate each size as it gets too large. I have several plus-sized friends who are happy to have the clothes, and I'm thrilled to give them my stuff. I'm only about 6 weeks out and have ditched bags and bags of stuff; coats, summer stuff I'll never wear again, 24s, 22s, 20s, and coming up on some 18s that are vanity sized. I think a 14 for summer is realistic, and for $3, even if it's not -- or you blow by it, who cares at $3. It is a little panic-inducing at first, like, am I REALLY never going to need these clothes again? Really?

My relationship for food is totally changing for the better. We had a jack & jill baby shower this weekend, and while at first it was weird ignoring many items on the buffet, I found plenty of healthy things to eat and nibble on. What I'm seeing is how many empty carb calories I would have chosen in the past. White rolls with butter, tons of Pasta dishes, cheese on crackers, booze to be "social," which is all not appealing to me. I kinda got grossed out seeing some of the heaping plates -- not judgmental, because that was totally me, but just realizing how many calories I mindlessly consumed and then wondered why I just couldn't lose weight. Duh! Also, the binging mindlessly is such a relief to stop. Why? What was I doing to myself? I am trying to journal every night in bed before I go to sleep a little note how the day went, triggers, etc. It is helping me pay attention to my food! I have been so "busy" the past 20 years that I ignored what I was doing to myself. Sometimes I miss eating a delicious meal, but a lot of things have lost their appeal, and I'm okay with that. I'm relieved food (so far) has lost it's power over me. Eating for nutrition and energy and not for recreation is lovely.

@@ryan_86, I'd nix the Protein bars. Most that I have seen have high carbs/sugar and would, at least for me, trigger a carb attack. The few times I've "slipped up" and had a few carbs, it started a vicious circle of hunger and cravings. I feel like a carnivorous animal over here, but it works! No cravings for anything.

I have a 2 and 3 year old who are close to 40 lbs apiece. I went back to work from home (sedentary) 5 days out and was able to do everything within a week as normal. I tried not to pick up the kids and had them get themselves in and out of the car and stuff, but by week 3 I was lifting them as normal without any issues. Honestly, the anesthesia/barfing was the worst part of surgery immediately post-op for me. I felt like I had never had surgery by my one-week followup where they took out the staples. If you have help the first week, I bet you'll be fine.