TAB_VSG

So, today I had my two week post op appointment at the surgery center where I started my journey.

I left quite excited.

We'll just start off with the stats and then will come the feels.
Sw: 281
Preop: 264
Surgery day: 252
Today: 241
I went in a little apprehensive about how I was doing so far. To my discredit, I started on soft foods a little early, at day 10 instead of day 12, just because strained Soup was really going to be the ******* death of me. So there I am in the waiting room, trying to be cool, looking down at my stomach like man, I really could have gone without that cottage cheese yesterday. I was sweating over what the scale might say; that it was going to out my head start into phase ll foods and that obviously I was failing.

I've been worried and wrong before, and today was no exception.

When I walked into the room, the MA weighed me in and ta da! I was 241.2 lbs. That is 10.8 lbs lighter since surgery two weeks ago. I'll take it! The doctor then came in and proceeded to tell me that since I first visited (weighing in at a whopping 281 lbs) I lost 40 lbs. 40 ******* pounds. Uhm, can I just say go me? Because gooooo me! I was thrilled. On top of 40 lbs lost, as for the percentage of my excess weight needed lost to reach a healthy BMI given my height of 5'7, I lost 28% of my excess. I went from needing to lose 141 lbs to only needing to lose 101 lbs.

Now don't get me wrong, 100 lbs is still a lot. But it's less than what I started at. Today, I am half way to reaching my first goal of 200 lbs. I really hope to make that goal within the first few months post op. Ideally by my next check up, scheduled at the end of February. That seems like a pipe dream to me still, but if I can remain dedicated and smart about using my VSG tool, I know I can do it.

Here's a little thing that's bugging me though. I can't see the loss of 40 lbs yet. I recognize my clothes are getting a little baggier, and right at this very moment, I'm wearing a pair of jeans I bought last year to have them just now fit comfortably, but I still see the almost 300 lb girl looking back at me in the mirror everyday. Being a woman lustful for instant gratitude, and high impatience, it upsets me. I know it's gone. 40 lbs is gone. But from where? I think it's just that I'm used to seeing myself everyday (and because Im kindaaa a narcissist, all day.) My mom makes the comment, look how skinny you are! And I see her about every two or three days. So, It's just me. Even the doctor said she barely recognized me and that I've done "marvelous" so far. The fat girl in me just assumed she was stroking my ego.

Still. I feel good. And I'm ready to keep losing more more moreeeee!

So, today I had my two week post op appointment at the surgery center where I started my journey.

I left quite excited.

We'll just start off with the stats and then will come the feels.
Sw: 281
Preop: 264
Surgery day: 252
Today: 241
I went in a little apprehensive about how I was doing so far. To my discredit, I started on soft foods a little early, at day 10 instead of day 12, just because strained Soup was really going to be the ******* death of me. So there I am in the waiting room, trying to be cool, looking down at my stomach like man, I really could have gone without that cottage cheese yesterday. I was sweating over what the scale might say; that it was going to out my head start into phase ll foods and that obviously I was failing.

I've been worried and wrong before, and today was no exception.

When I walked into the room, the MA weighed me in and ta da! I was 241.2 lbs. That is 10.8 lbs lighter since surgery two weeks ago. I'll take it! The doctor then came in and proceeded to tell me that since I first visited (weighing in at a whopping 281 lbs) I lost 40 lbs. 40 ******* pounds. Uhm, can I just say go me? Because gooooo me! I was thrilled. On top of 40 lbs lost, as for the percentage of my excess weight needed lost to reach a healthy BMI given my height of 5'7, I lost 28% of my excess. I went from needing to lose 141 lbs to only needing to lose 101 lbs.

Now don't get me wrong, 100 lbs is still a lot. But it's less than what I started at. Today, I am half way to reaching my first goal of 200 lbs. I really hope to make that goal within the first few months post op. Ideally by my next check up, scheduled at the end of February. That seems like a pipe dream to me still, but if I can remain dedicated and smart about using my VSG tool, I know I can do it.

Here's a little thing that's bugging me though. I can't see the loss of 40 lbs yet. I recognize my clothes are getting a little baggier, and right at this very moment, I'm wearing a pair of jeans I bought last year to have them just now fit comfortably, but I still see the almost 300 lb girl looking back at me in the mirror everyday. Being a woman lustful for instant gratitude, and high impatience, it upsets me. I know it's gone. 40 lbs is gone. But from where? I think it's just that I'm used to seeing myself everyday (and because Im kindaaa a narcissist, all day.) My mom makes the comment, look how skinny you are! And I see her about every two or three days. So, It's just me. Even the doctor said she barely recognized me and that I've done "marvelous" so far. The fat girl in me just assumed she was stroking my ego.

Still. I feel good. And I'm ready to keep losing more more moreeeee!

So, today I had my two week post op appointment at the surgery center where I started my journey.

I left quite excited.

We'll just start off with the stats and then will come the feels.
Sw: 281
Preop: 264
Surgery day: 252
Today: 241
I went in a little apprehensive about how I was doing so far. To my discredit, I started on soft foods a little early, at day 10 instead of day 12, just because strained Soup was really going to be the ******* death of me. So there I am in the waiting room, trying to be cool, looking down at my stomach like man, I really could have gone without that cottage cheese yesterday. I was sweating over what the scale might say; that it was going to out my head start into phase ll foods and that obviously I was failing.

I've been worried and wrong before, and today was no exception.

When I walked into the room, the MA weighed me in and ta da! I was 241.2 lbs. That is 10.8 lbs lighter since surgery two weeks ago. I'll take it! The doctor then came in and proceeded to tell me that since I first visited (weighing in at a whopping 281 lbs) I lost 40 lbs. 40 ******* pounds. Uhm, can I just say go me? Because gooooo me! I was thrilled. On top of 40 lbs lost, as for the percentage of my excess weight needed lost to reach a healthy BMI given my height of 5'7, I lost 28% of my excess. I went from needing to lose 141 lbs to only needing to lose 101 lbs.

Now don't get me wrong, 100 lbs is still a lot. But it's less than what I started at. Today, I am half way to reaching my first goal of 200 lbs. I really hope to make that goal within the first few months post op. Ideally by my next check up, scheduled at the end of February. That seems like a pipe dream to me still, but if I can remain dedicated and smart about using my VSG tool, I know I can do it.

Here's a little thing that's bugging me though. I can't see the loss of 40 lbs yet. I recognize my clothes are getting a little baggier, and right at this very moment, I'm wearing a pair of jeans I bought last year to have them just now fit comfortably, but I still see the almost 300 lb girl looking back at me in the mirror everyday. Being a woman lustful for instant gratitude, and high impatience, it upsets me. I know it's gone. 40 lbs is gone. But from where? I think it's just that I'm used to seeing myself everyday (and because Im kindaaa a narcissist, all day.) My mom makes the comment, look how skinny you are! And I see her about every two or three days. So, It's just me. Even the doctor said she barely recognized me and that I've done "marvelous" so far. The fat girl in me just assumed she was stroking my ego.

Still. I feel good. And I'm ready to keep losing more more moreeeee!

So, today I had my two week post op appointment at the surgery center where I started my journey.

I left quite excited.

We'll just start off with the stats and then will come the feels.
Sw: 281
Preop: 264
Surgery day: 252
Today: 241
I went in a little apprehensive about how I was doing so far. To my discredit, I started on soft foods a little early, at day 10 instead of day 12, just because strained Soup was really going to be the ******* death of me. So there I am in the waiting room, trying to be cool, looking down at my stomach like man, I really could have gone without that cottage cheese yesterday. I was sweating over what the scale might say; that it was going to out my head start into phase ll foods and that obviously I was failing.

I've been worried and wrong before, and today was no exception.

When I walked into the room, the MA weighed me in and ta da! I was 241.2 lbs. That is 10.8 lbs lighter since surgery two weeks ago. I'll take it! The doctor then came in and proceeded to tell me that since I first visited (weighing in at a whopping 281 lbs) I lost 40 lbs. 40 ******* pounds. Uhm, can I just say go me? Because gooooo me! I was thrilled. On top of 40 lbs lost, as for the percentage of my excess weight needed lost to reach a healthy BMI given my height of 5'7, I lost 28% of my excess. I went from needing to lose 141 lbs to only needing to lose 101 lbs.

Now don't get me wrong, 100 lbs is still a lot. But it's less than what I started at. Today, I am half way to reaching my first goal of 200 lbs. I really hope to make that goal within the first few months post op. Ideally by my next check up, scheduled at the end of February. That seems like a pipe dream to me still, but if I can remain dedicated and smart about using my VSG tool, I know I can do it.

Here's a little thing that's bugging me though. I can't see the loss of 40 lbs yet. I recognize my clothes are getting a little baggier, and right at this very moment, I'm wearing a pair of jeans I bought last year to have them just now fit comfortably, but I still see the almost 300 lb girl looking back at me in the mirror everyday. Being a woman lustful for instant gratitude, and high impatience, it upsets me. I know it's gone. 40 lbs is gone. But from where? I think it's just that I'm used to seeing myself everyday (and because Im kindaaa a narcissist, all day.) My mom makes the comment, look how skinny you are! And I see her about every two or three days. So, It's just me. Even the doctor said she barely recognized me and that I've done "marvelous" so far. The fat girl in me just assumed she was stroking my ego.

Still. I feel good. And I'm ready to keep losing more more moreeeee!

[cue gigantic sigh]
Okay. Every good story starts with a little bit of history, so here's mine.

It begins with an age old saying concerning those who've gone through with a weight loss surgery. My whole life, I've been fat. Maybe I've been lucky to consider myself a lightweight in the eyes of surgeons and BMI charts(given my height) added to the fact that I've always been proportioned well, but in this society's eyes... I have ALWAYS been fat. And not just fat, pretty fat. A killer, sad combination.

When I say pretty fat, I don't mean like, "kinda" fat. Not that kind of pretty... but "nice face... ohhh there's the rest of her. *shudder*" pretty. Pretty sad right? My face earned me dates, got me friends, helped me in many endeavors the modern girl often takes on. But, the rest of me, f**k. It's been like dragging a dead body around. Extra baggage. Unnecessary cargo. Something I've always considered a hold back and a heartbreak. So what do I do about it for the first 24 years of my life?

Nothing.

I binge eat whole boxes of mac and cheese for comfort, and even when I'm happy I can down a whole tostitos "mini" (but not so mini) pizza. I figured, what the f**k, right? My face gets me what I need and everything else I can fix... or bandaid with this magical thing called criminal amounts of food. I am "happy" in those years. I have boyfriends, two serious relationships that produced two beautiful daughters. I have a job doing what I love and because of my face and female prowess derived from some ancient goddess of confidence, I can project myself as a self assured, strong woman. I am fine. I dont need to change. I don't care. I don't give a ****.

And then I hit 281 lbs.

At 24, in the midst of a college education, walking through campus on the daily losing my breath coupled with trying to squeeze into what I see as child size desks in every class, I realize for the first time... I am seriously fat. And not just by society's standards, those that I've shattered with my badass mentality for so long... but seriously, actually fat. Obese. Morbidly and uncomfortably. That's when panic sets in. Holy f**k, when did this happen? How? Yeah, I've had two children and yeah, I eat a little more than the average lady... but WT the actual F?!

Immediately I knew I had to do something. I started going to rec center at the college I was attending. Itried to replace my daily dose of 4-6 cans of coke with some Water. I tried to eat a chicken salad instead Kentucky Fried chicken. But, let me tell you something, Water and grass with mini chunks of meat in it did not make me feel good. I don't mean physically, obviously. In that case, I'm sure my body was like oh thank god, something not smothered in grease or gravy. But, mentally, I felt AWFUL. My mind begged to know why I was doing this... I missed everything I tried to give up or substitute with the healthier choice. I was an addict spiraling down quickly into food withdrawal, and it was the most painful thing I've ever experienced.

My soulmate. My life partner... food. I had to break up with it.

I struggled with fixing the problem on my own... for months. I think I lost like, two lb all together halfassing at the gym and eating one slice of pizza instead of five. So what do people do when they can't do it themselves? They find a professional. The first was my primary care physician. Sweet woman, no bullshit type with a killer take on life. She offered me this medicine: Topamax. Helllloooo, honeylove. Topamax over the next two months easily helped me drop another 15 pounds. I was feeling good again! I weaned myself off that, thinking I could do it at about 20 lbs lighter... nope. I gained some back instead. Boo frickin' hoo.

Around that time, my cousin was going through the process of getting a gastric bypass. She lived with my mother, who had unsuccessfully had the lapband so constantly, I overheard her and my mom discussing the process of bariatrric surgery. I envied the excitement in her tone, and every month she was closer to having the surgery, I knew that this was my ticket. This magical weight loss tool that could really help me out of the donut hole I dug myself into over the years. So I researched. I called the doctor that did my mom's lapband and before I knew it, I had my appointment for a consultation.

That was in October of 2014. After 14 months (I only had to do 6 months of pre op stuff, but due to miscommunication and a lack of paperwork from my primary doctor it took this long) I was looking at my surgeon in the operating room, right before versed and propofol put me to sweet sleep.

That's where my story begins. I am, today, two weeks post op and soooo ready to get the journey to a better, healthier, smaller me started. I had my VSG surgery on December 28, 2015 at 252 lbs.

[cue gigantic sigh]
Okay. Every good story starts with a little bit of history, so here's mine.

It begins with an age old saying concerning those who've gone through with a weight loss surgery. My whole life, I've been fat. Maybe I've been lucky to consider myself a lightweight in the eyes of surgeons and BMI charts(given my height) added to the fact that I've always been proportioned well, but in this society's eyes... I have ALWAYS been fat. And not just fat, pretty fat. A killer, sad combination.

When I say pretty fat, I don't mean like, "kinda" fat. Not that kind of pretty... but "nice face... ohhh there's the rest of her. *shudder*" pretty. Pretty sad right? My face earned me dates, got me friends, helped me in many endeavors the modern girl often takes on. But, the rest of me, f**k. It's been like dragging a dead body around. Extra baggage. Unnecessary cargo. Something I've always considered a hold back and a heartbreak. So what do I do about it for the first 24 years of my life?

Nothing.

I binge eat whole boxes of mac and cheese for comfort, and even when I'm happy I can down a whole tostitos "mini" (but not so mini) pizza. I figured, what the f**k, right? My face gets me what I need and everything else I can fix... or bandaid with this magical thing called criminal amounts of food. I am "happy" in those years. I have boyfriends, two serious relationships that produced two beautiful daughters. I have a job doing what I love and because of my face and female prowess derived from some ancient goddess of confidence, I can project myself as a self assured, strong woman. I am fine. I dont need to change. I don't care. I don't give a ****.

And then I hit 281 lbs.

At 24, in the midst of a college education, walking through campus on the daily losing my breath coupled with trying to squeeze into what I see as child size desks in every class, I realize for the first time... I am seriously fat. And not just by society's standards, those that I've shattered with my badass mentality for so long... but seriously, actually fat. Obese. Morbidly and uncomfortably. That's when panic sets in. Holy f**k, when did this happen? How? Yeah, I've had two children and yeah, I eat a little more than the average lady... but WT the actual F?!

Immediately I knew I had to do something. I started going to rec center at the college I was attending. Itried to replace my daily dose of 4-6 cans of coke with some Water. I tried to eat a chicken salad instead Kentucky Fried chicken. But, let me tell you something, Water and grass with mini chunks of meat in it did not make me feel good. I don't mean physically, obviously. In that case, I'm sure my body was like oh thank god, something not smothered in grease or gravy. But, mentally, I felt AWFUL. My mind begged to know why I was doing this... I missed everything I tried to give up or substitute with the healthier choice. I was an addict spiraling down quickly into food withdrawal, and it was the most painful thing I've ever experienced.

My soulmate. My life partner... food. I had to break up with it.

I struggled with fixing the problem on my own... for months. I think I lost like, two lb all together halfassing at the gym and eating one slice of pizza instead of five. So what do people do when they can't do it themselves? They find a professional. The first was my primary care physician. Sweet woman, no bullshit type with a killer take on life. She offered me this medicine: Topamax. Helllloooo, honeylove. Topamax over the next two months easily helped me drop another 15 pounds. I was feeling good again! I weaned myself off that, thinking I could do it at about 20 lbs lighter... nope. I gained some back instead. Boo frickin' hoo.

Around that time, my cousin was going through the process of getting a gastric bypass. She lived with my mother, who had unsuccessfully had the lapband so constantly, I overheard her and my mom discussing the process of bariatrric surgery. I envied the excitement in her tone, and every month she was closer to having the surgery, I knew that this was my ticket. This magical weight loss tool that could really help me out of the donut hole I dug myself into over the years. So I researched. I called the doctor that did my mom's lapband and before I knew it, I had my appointment for a consultation.

That was in October of 2014. After 14 months (I only had to do 6 months of pre op stuff, but due to miscommunication and a lack of paperwork from my primary doctor it took this long) I was looking at my surgeon in the operating room, right before versed and propofol put me to sweet sleep.

That's where my story begins. I am, today, two weeks post op and soooo ready to get the journey to a better, healthier, smaller me started. I had my VSG surgery on December 28, 2015 at 252 lbs.

[cue gigantic sigh]
Okay. Every good story starts with a little bit of history, so here's mine.

It begins with an age old saying concerning those who've gone through with a weight loss surgery. My whole life, I've been fat. Maybe I've been lucky to consider myself a lightweight in the eyes of surgeons and BMI charts(given my height) added to the fact that I've always been proportioned well, but in this society's eyes... I have ALWAYS been fat. And not just fat, pretty fat. A killer, sad combination.

When I say pretty fat, I don't mean like, "kinda" fat. Not that kind of pretty... but "nice face... ohhh there's the rest of her. *shudder*" pretty. Pretty sad right? My face earned me dates, got me friends, helped me in many endeavors the modern girl often takes on. But, the rest of me, f**k. It's been like dragging a dead body around. Extra baggage. Unnecessary cargo. Something I've always considered a hold back and a heartbreak. So what do I do about it for the first 24 years of my life?

Nothing.

I binge eat whole boxes of mac and cheese for comfort, and even when I'm happy I can down a whole tostitos "mini" (but not so mini) pizza. I figured, what the f**k, right? My face gets me what I need and everything else I can fix... or bandaid with this magical thing called criminal amounts of food. I am "happy" in those years. I have boyfriends, two serious relationships that produced two beautiful daughters. I have a job doing what I love and because of my face and female prowess derived from some ancient goddess of confidence, I can project myself as a self assured, strong woman. I am fine. I dont need to change. I don't care. I don't give a ****.

And then I hit 281 lbs.

At 24, in the midst of a college education, walking through campus on the daily losing my breath coupled with trying to squeeze into what I see as child size desks in every class, I realize for the first time... I am seriously fat. And not just by society's standards, those that I've shattered with my badass mentality for so long... but seriously, actually fat. Obese. Morbidly and uncomfortably. That's when panic sets in. Holy f**k, when did this happen? How? Yeah, I've had two children and yeah, I eat a little more than the average lady... but WT the actual F?!

Immediately I knew I had to do something. I started going to rec center at the college I was attending. Itried to replace my daily dose of 4-6 cans of coke with some Water. I tried to eat a chicken salad instead Kentucky Fried chicken. But, let me tell you something, Water and grass with mini chunks of meat in it did not make me feel good. I don't mean physically, obviously. In that case, I'm sure my body was like oh thank god, something not smothered in grease or gravy. But, mentally, I felt AWFUL. My mind begged to know why I was doing this... I missed everything I tried to give up or substitute with the healthier choice. I was an addict spiraling down quickly into food withdrawal, and it was the most painful thing I've ever experienced.

My soulmate. My life partner... food. I had to break up with it.

I struggled with fixing the problem on my own... for months. I think I lost like, two lb all together halfassing at the gym and eating one slice of pizza instead of five. So what do people do when they can't do it themselves? They find a professional. The first was my primary care physician. Sweet woman, no bullshit type with a killer take on life. She offered me this medicine: Topamax. Helllloooo, honeylove. Topamax over the next two months easily helped me drop another 15 pounds. I was feeling good again! I weaned myself off that, thinking I could do it at about 20 lbs lighter... nope. I gained some back instead. Boo frickin' hoo.

Around that time, my cousin was going through the process of getting a gastric bypass. She lived with my mother, who had unsuccessfully had the lapband so constantly, I overheard her and my mom discussing the process of bariatrric surgery. I envied the excitement in her tone, and every month she was closer to having the surgery, I knew that this was my ticket. This magical weight loss tool that could really help me out of the donut hole I dug myself into over the years. So I researched. I called the doctor that did my mom's lapband and before I knew it, I had my appointment for a consultation.

That was in October of 2014. After 14 months (I only had to do 6 months of pre op stuff, but due to miscommunication and a lack of paperwork from my primary doctor it took this long) I was looking at my surgeon in the operating room, right before versed and propofol put me to sweet sleep.

That's where my story begins. I am, today, two weeks post op and soooo ready to get the journey to a better, healthier, smaller me started. I had my VSG surgery on December 28, 2015 at 252 lbs.

[cue gigantic sigh]
Okay. Every good story starts with a little bit of history, so here's mine.

It begins with an age old saying concerning those who've gone through with a weight loss surgery. My whole life, I've been fat. Maybe I've been lucky to consider myself a lightweight in the eyes of surgeons and BMI charts(given my height) added to the fact that I've always been proportioned well, but in this society's eyes... I have ALWAYS been fat. And not just fat, pretty fat. A killer, sad combination.

When I say pretty fat, I don't mean like, "kinda" fat. Not that kind of pretty... but "nice face... ohhh there's the rest of her. *shudder*" pretty. Pretty sad right? My face earned me dates, got me friends, helped me in many endeavors the modern girl often takes on. But, the rest of me, f**k. It's been like dragging a dead body around. Extra baggage. Unnecessary cargo. Something I've always considered a hold back and a heartbreak. So what do I do about it for the first 24 years of my life?

Nothing.

I binge eat whole boxes of mac and cheese for comfort, and even when I'm happy I can down a whole tostitos "mini" (but not so mini) pizza. I figured, what the f**k, right? My face gets me what I need and everything else I can fix... or bandaid with this magical thing called criminal amounts of food. I am "happy" in those years. I have boyfriends, two serious relationships that produced two beautiful daughters. I have a job doing what I love and because of my face and female prowess derived from some ancient goddess of confidence, I can project myself as a self assured, strong woman. I am fine. I dont need to change. I don't care. I don't give a ****.

And then I hit 281 lbs.

At 24, in the midst of a college education, walking through campus on the daily losing my breath coupled with trying to squeeze into what I see as child size desks in every class, I realize for the first time... I am seriously fat. And not just by society's standards, those that I've shattered with my badass mentality for so long... but seriously, actually fat. Obese. Morbidly and uncomfortably. That's when panic sets in. Holy f**k, when did this happen? How? Yeah, I've had two children and yeah, I eat a little more than the average lady... but WT the actual F?!

Immediately I knew I had to do something. I started going to rec center at the college I was attending. Itried to replace my daily dose of 4-6 cans of coke with some Water. I tried to eat a chicken salad instead Kentucky Fried chicken. But, let me tell you something, Water and grass with mini chunks of meat in it did not make me feel good. I don't mean physically, obviously. In that case, I'm sure my body was like oh thank god, something not smothered in grease or gravy. But, mentally, I felt AWFUL. My mind begged to know why I was doing this... I missed everything I tried to give up or substitute with the healthier choice. I was an addict spiraling down quickly into food withdrawal, and it was the most painful thing I've ever experienced.

My soulmate. My life partner... food. I had to break up with it.

I struggled with fixing the problem on my own... for months. I think I lost like, two lb all together halfassing at the gym and eating one slice of pizza instead of five. So what do people do when they can't do it themselves? They find a professional. The first was my primary care physician. Sweet woman, no bullshit type with a killer take on life. She offered me this medicine: Topamax. Helllloooo, honeylove. Topamax over the next two months easily helped me drop another 15 pounds. I was feeling good again! I weaned myself off that, thinking I could do it at about 20 lbs lighter... nope. I gained some back instead. Boo frickin' hoo.

Around that time, my cousin was going through the process of getting a gastric bypass. She lived with my mother, who had unsuccessfully had the lapband so constantly, I overheard her and my mom discussing the process of bariatrric surgery. I envied the excitement in her tone, and every month she was closer to having the surgery, I knew that this was my ticket. This magical weight loss tool that could really help me out of the donut hole I dug myself into over the years. So I researched. I called the doctor that did my mom's lapband and before I knew it, I had my appointment for a consultation.

That was in October of 2014. After 14 months (I only had to do 6 months of pre op stuff, but due to miscommunication and a lack of paperwork from my primary doctor it took this long) I was looking at my surgeon in the operating room, right before versed and propofol put me to sweet sleep.

That's where my story begins. I am, today, two weeks post op and soooo ready to get the journey to a better, healthier, smaller me started. I had my VSG surgery on December 28, 2015 at 252 lbs.

Hi
What you have just wrote is like reading my life! food had been a thorn in my side for as long as I remember , I think the thing with food addiction is , it isn't like other addictions where we can go cold turkey , we still need food!! so frustrating
I'm awaiting a surgery date, I am 36 and weigh 360lb and my health is really suffering for it. I have my Psychological assessment in march and hope to get a date soon after. Exciting but am quite worried about it! How are you doing after your surgery ?

So, today I had my two week post op appointment at the surgery center where I started my journey.

I left quite excited.

We'll just start off with the stats and then will come the feels.
Sw: 281
Preop: 264
Surgery day: 252
Today: 241
I went in a little apprehensive about how I was doing so far. To my discredit, I started on soft foods a little early, at day 10 instead of day 12, just because strained Soup was really going to be the ******* death of me. So there I am in the waiting room, trying to be cool, looking down at my stomach like man, I really could have gone without that cottage cheese yesterday. I was sweating over what the scale might say; that it was going to out my head start into phase ll foods and that obviously I was failing.

I've been worried and wrong before, and today was no exception.

When I walked into the room, the MA weighed me in and ta da! I was 241.2 lbs. That is 10.8 lbs lighter since surgery two weeks ago. I'll take it! The doctor then came in and proceeded to tell me that since I first visited (weighing in at a whopping 281 lbs) I lost 40 lbs. 40 ******* pounds. Uhm, can I just say go me? Because gooooo me! I was thrilled. On top of 40 lbs lost, as for the percentage of my excess weight needed lost to reach a healthy BMI given my height of 5'7, I lost 28% of my excess. I went from needing to lose 141 lbs to only needing to lose 101 lbs.

Now don't get me wrong, 100 lbs is still a lot. But it's less than what I started at. Today, I am half way to reaching my first goal of 200 lbs. I really hope to make that goal within the first few months post op. Ideally by my next check up, scheduled at the end of February. That seems like a pipe dream to me still, but if I can remain dedicated and smart about using my VSG tool, I know I can do it.

Here's a little thing that's bugging me though. I can't see the loss of 40 lbs yet. I recognize my clothes are getting a little baggier, and right at this very moment, I'm wearing a pair of jeans I bought last year to have them just now fit comfortably, but I still see the almost 300 lb girl looking back at me in the mirror everyday. Being a woman lustful for instant gratitude, and high impatience, it upsets me. I know it's gone. 40 lbs is gone. But from where? I think it's just that I'm used to seeing myself everyday (and because Im kindaaa a narcissist, all day.) My mom makes the comment, look how skinny you are! And I see her about every two or three days. So, It's just me. Even the doctor said she barely recognized me and that I've done "marvelous" so far. The fat girl in me just assumed she was stroking my ego.

Still. I feel good. And I'm ready to keep losing more more moreeeee!

So, today I had my two week post op appointment at the surgery center where I started my journey.

I left quite excited.

We'll just start off with the stats and then will come the feels.
Sw: 281
Preop: 264
Surgery day: 252
Today: 241
I went in a little apprehensive about how I was doing so far. To my discredit, I started on soft foods a little early, at day 10 instead of day 12, just because strained Soup was really going to be the ******* death of me. So there I am in the waiting room, trying to be cool, looking down at my stomach like man, I really could have gone without that cottage cheese yesterday. I was sweating over what the scale might say; that it was going to out my head start into phase ll foods and that obviously I was failing.

I've been worried and wrong before, and today was no exception.

When I walked into the room, the MA weighed me in and ta da! I was 241.2 lbs. That is 10.8 lbs lighter since surgery two weeks ago. I'll take it! The doctor then came in and proceeded to tell me that since I first visited (weighing in at a whopping 281 lbs) I lost 40 lbs. 40 ******* pounds. Uhm, can I just say go me? Because gooooo me! I was thrilled. On top of 40 lbs lost, as for the percentage of my excess weight needed lost to reach a healthy BMI given my height of 5'7, I lost 28% of my excess. I went from needing to lose 141 lbs to only needing to lose 101 lbs.

Now don't get me wrong, 100 lbs is still a lot. But it's less than what I started at. Today, I am half way to reaching my first goal of 200 lbs. I really hope to make that goal within the first few months post op. Ideally by my next check up, scheduled at the end of February. That seems like a pipe dream to me still, but if I can remain dedicated and smart about using my VSG tool, I know I can do it.

Here's a little thing that's bugging me though. I can't see the loss of 40 lbs yet. I recognize my clothes are getting a little baggier, and right at this very moment, I'm wearing a pair of jeans I bought last year to have them just now fit comfortably, but I still see the almost 300 lb girl looking back at me in the mirror everyday. Being a woman lustful for instant gratitude, and high impatience, it upsets me. I know it's gone. 40 lbs is gone. But from where? I think it's just that I'm used to seeing myself everyday (and because Im kindaaa a narcissist, all day.) My mom makes the comment, look how skinny you are! And I see her about every two or three days. So, It's just me. Even the doctor said she barely recognized me and that I've done "marvelous" so far. The fat girl in me just assumed she was stroking my ego.

Still. I feel good. And I'm ready to keep losing more more moreeeee!

Today is surgery day! Well, in the morning, but I cant sleep because Im so excited/nervous/ready.

My highest weight was 281.

My preop weight is 252.

By the summer I hope that number begins with a 1, not 2.

New life, here we go. : )

I started writing it all down in a notebook. Every feeling and thought. Everything. Once it was down on paper I haven't looked at it. I figured I'll do that in a year. Since this is a decision I have to live with for the rest of my life. Just try writing it down, it can be very helpful. Sending positive thoughts your way.