Susan Lewis

If you have self esteem issues, you may want to seek therapy along with your surgery. WLS won't magically change your life. If you have self esteem issues you may find another reason not to like yourself. You need to work on loving you no matter what and a good therapist will help with that.

It sounds like she has a critical husband and I am not sure losing weight will make that situation better. When you lose a massive amount of weight you have loose skin which can be dealt with but I am guessing hubby will find something to gripe about.

The good news is, you will become more self confident. You don't need someone who doesn't love you any way you are. I wish you all the very best and know that you have a support system here.

You might say to him, I can lose weight but you will still be a*#!

Susan, anyone who actually loses weight to please someone else either fails or succeeds, but regains the weight. The only chance anyone has of maintaining weight loss and feeling happy about it is to do it for yourself because it's what YOU want for yourself. At the same time it's so very important to know that confidence or other positive feelings about one's self are not guaranteed. For many people, it takes therapy, as BLERDgirl suggested, to bring the whole package together into one cohesive personality. .......

Djmohr, that last line you wrote? That's not a casual one; it's the one to toss back over the shoulder when you're sure you're walking out the door for the last time. The only relationship that will survive that remark is the relationship that has no reason to exist. And I've only scratched the surface of hateful comments such as that.