@@stsch06 I had my surgery on Monday. I felt and thought all of things you are feeling. This IS a very big decision. It's about the rest of my life. How could it not be as big of a decision as any decision I will ever make? At my last surgeon appointment, I asked him how often people just don't show up on surgery day...he said that it had never happened with one of his patients. I asked that question because I was still filled with fear and questions even a week before the surgery. In the end, what kept me moving forward was the knowledge that I have tried and failed to lose significant weight enough times that I know I couldn't have lost a significant amount of weight and kept it off long term - I had to listen to my own experience and the reality of a 5%-7% dieting success rate. The most important thing that kept me putting one foot in front of the other was the inspiration of a renewed life - all the things I can't do now but will be able to do a year from now... Run a 5k, ride on a roller coaster, fly on a plane to visit friends, sit on a folding chair without anxiety, go to games and concerts without worrying, TRAVEL to other countries and so many more...
So now I am on the very first steps of the other side of that decision...and I have already have not doubt that I made the right decision for me.
Good luck. Stay mindful and be kind to yourself. Listen to and acknowledge your thoughts and feeling. Remember that just because you think a thought doesn't mean that thought is true. It's just a thought. Oh yeah...and Breathe. :-)