IJustWant2BeALoser

Hi! My name is Katie. I'm 26 years old (3/4/1989) and I have always been "thick". It was ok in highschool because I played soccer so it was mostly muscle...but then I started college. The freshmen 15 turned into the freshmen 50 and I was a goner. Part of me didn't believe I was disgusting because I was still dating, still hooking up with guys, and why would a guy be interested in someone who was morbidly obese right? WRONG. SO WRONG. The older I got, the fatter I got. I kept making excuses to not fix the problem. I was too tired to go to the gym or I have a slow metabolism so it doesn't matter what I eat I'll still be fat. I was very very delusional about my health.
I recently started a new job and for once, the BCBSM plan they offered covered WLS! I was ecstatic and immediately researched surgeons in my area and made an appointment. On my original apt date I got to the surgeons office 20 minutes early so I could fill in all the paperworcomfortable to share my struggles with him. By thk. I waited and waited and after 45 minutes after my apt time, the Medical Assistant explained that my surgeon has an emergency surgery and would not be in today and I would have to reschedule. In the back of my mind I cataloged this as a sign but I rescheduled for the following Friday. I am so glad I rescheduled because my surgeon is amazing! Dr. Kerry Kole at Troy Beaumont. Within 10 minutes of meeting him I knew that I wanted him for my surgery. We went through the pros and cons of each type of surgery and decided on the sleeve. We talked about the gym and how sometimes I would leave if I couldn't find a close enough parking space LOL. The best part about it was he made me feel extremely e time I left his office I was SO PUMPED to get started with all the pre reqs!
I think one of the biggest reasons why I have decided to have the surgery now is the support from my parents. I haven't lived with them for years but I see them every week and we are pretty honest with each other. My parents have known for a long time how unhappy I was with myself. I think they knew it before I did. So when I mentioned that I wanted to have the surgery and that I was serious about it, my dad immediately offered to pay what my insurance doesn't cover. My parent's know that I have a long road ahead and I'm going to be stressed about my health and losing weight; so they have decided to eliminate the financial stress. This means the world to me! I could pay for it myself, I have a great paying job and I know how to budget, but having their support is going to push me to hit the gym, watch those portions, and to just overall better myself. 
 
Pre Req #1: Medical Clearance from my MD
I don't have an PCP. Whenever I get sick I just go to urgent care haha. So I asked my surgeon who he recommended and he sent me to Dr. Marcia Kling. I cannot say enough good things about Dr. Kling! She has an amazing bedside manner and when she found out what I was getting medical clearance for she pushed my apt up immediately. I had a fantastic experience and can officially say I now have a PCP :)
Pre Req #2: Psych Eval
Ugh. This sucked. I had to go twice. Once for a meet and greet and the second time for the Eval.
My Eval consisted of the picture test (she showed me 20 pictures and I had to tell a story about each one). And a 300 question test. The test consisted of the same questions being asked over and over in different ways. I was there for over (2) hours lol.
Pre Req #3: Nutritionist
So since my BMI was over 50, my surgeon required me to meet with a UNASOURCE Nutritionist to go over dos and don'ts. I was not looking forward to this and it ended up being so AMAZING. My NUT was so helpful with what I could have after surgery and gave me samples for yummy hot chocolate since I'm not a coffee drinker. If my insurance covered her I would be a repeat patient!
Insurance Approval: I have BCBSM PPO and my hospital files bariatric surgery as an outpatient surgery since I'm in and out within 24-48 hours. With that info, my insurance company did NOT require a prior authorization for my surgery. So the hospital will be submitting my surgery as a regular claim with all my pre-reqs.
Surgery Scheduled: After all my pre reqs were completed I started stalking my Surgeon's Office. I work in Automotive and wanted to have my surgery during holiday shutdown so I wouldn't miss any work. This literally left a 10 day turnaround time from when I finished my Pre Reqs to when I would have had to start my Pre Op diet. I heard from their office the day before Thanksgiving that I got the date that I wanted, 12/18/2015! I was so excited I started crying. I cannot believe that I was brave enough to make this choice for myself!
Food Funerals: So I know that once I am on solid food after my surgery I can gradually go back to eating whatever I want. But why would I want to do that if my goal is to be healthier? So I gave up pop and energy drinks forever. Those alone are so damaging to my system and it was time. But of course there are some foods I needed to have ONE LAST TIME before I said goodbye:
Boston Market Mac & Cheese - The liquid cheese goodness is a definite no no when I'm trying to lose weight.
McDonalds - I could never justify having a meal at McDonalds after having a surgery to remove most of my stomach. 
Ruth Chris -  I think everyone knows why! haha
Pre Op Liver Shrinking Diet (LSD): I am currently on day 6 (12/9/15) of my Pre Op and I am struggling. I am literally having this done at the worst time. As I type my company is getting ready for our Holiday Lunch consisting of Ham, Turkey, Chicken, and Pasta. I AM DYING. haha. The one thing I am really proud of though is that I am definitely getting in (2) protein drinks a day and 64 fl oz of liquid. I was never a water drinker BUT knowing that the #1 reason people end up back in the hospital after this surgery is dehydration has definitely gotten me on track to avoid that!
On day 8 I got home and crashed. Lack of calories and sugar, mixed with the hormones of losing weight and I just started my period (SORRY TMI)....I was in bad shape. I was doubting my decisions and was wondering if I should just cancel the surgery so I can eat. Obviously I was delirious at this point. Luckily, the hospital called me during my melt down to go over my medical history for the anesthesiologist and that snapped me back into place. By the time I got off the phone I was so embarrassed that I had such a freakout. haha. 
So I am currently on day 11 of my pre op and I cheated over the weekend :( I had a cookie. I have cheated twice so far and I know that I am at risk of going in for the surgery only to wake up and find out my fat ass didn't get it done over cookies. I am still 13lbs down in 11 days so I hope this will help me. Trying to keep my head down and my hand out of the cookie jar!
I'm having Surgery TOMORROW!!! I am still waiting on the call from the hospital to find out my call time. I am so excited its insane. And, oddly enough, I have a TON of energy! 
 
Surgery 12/18/2015
So I received a call the day before my surgery confirming my time for 1:40PM. I was kind of bummed because I knew I was going to be freaking out Friday morning until I got to check in at the hospital. On Friday morning I received a call around 10AM from the hospital. They wanted to know if I could make it in early since the Surgeon was free.....can I say YES!!! lol. 
So I made it to Troy Beaumont and checked in. My Dad took me and stayed with me until they took me back. The pre surgery routine was bullshit. My surgeon and anesthesiologist visited me ASAP which was great! But then I had to wait for the anesthesiologist's team to come take my blood and all of that. What should have been a 10 minute wait turned into a 45 minute wait. When they finally showed up it took them another 15 minutes to find a vein. THEN, they lost my vial of blood that had to go to the lab before I went into surgery. So they had to retake all my blood and take it back down there. At this point I was in tears and pretty pissed. I ended up going into surgery at 1:30PM....a whole 10 minutes early even though I got called in early.
My Surgery went great!! I woke up in recovery and was given ice chips. Then I was taken to my room (around 5:30PM) and my ice chips and a morphine drip. After reading the HORROR stories on this site about taking advantage of the pain meds and regretting it when you finally got to use the bathroom.....I decided that I was not going to use pain meds. So I cut myself off from the morphine drip at 8:30PM. I felt fine and started walking around 3AM. 
I ran into my Dr on one of my walks around 11AM and he told me I could go home as long as I passed a liquid test....I did NOT have to do a leak test to be released. So I was home by 1:30PM, 12/19/15. 
 
Post Op Journey
The only pain I felt was when I would get up to walk and I could feel a pulling on my stomach. That went away by Day 6 post op. I wasn't having a problem getting down water/crystal lite so I was (and still am) drinking 64 oz of that per day.
I cannot get my protein in. Before my surgery I was drinking my protein with skim milk (it tastes like chocolate milk). Now, my body does not let me drink milk without a gurgling struggle. My current goal is to work on protein.
Post Op Apt #1 (12 days post op): my checkup was fast and easy. He asked me how I was and what my pain level is. My Pain level is 0 and I feel great. I asked if I can go back to the gym and he cleared me for light cardio! My next post op apt is 1/29/16
Going back to work: I work in Automotive (Engineering Coordinator), so my day consists of sitting on my ass in front of a computer (as I am doing right now). The great thing about this whole thing is that I was able to have surgery at the beginning of our Holiday Shutdown and I am back to work (1/4) the same day as everyone else in our office. I got into the office at 6:30AM and I am not tired yet. Luckily I'll be getting out of here by 3:30PM since I know I'll be exhausted after that. 
1/4/16: I am exactly one month out from when I started my pre op diet and I am down 30lbs!
2/19/16: I am currently 2 months and 1 day post op and I feel AMAZING!!! I am currently 53lbs down and withing 100lbs of my goal weight. Typing this is bringing tears to my eyes, this surgery, my choice to have this surgery, has in all honesty saved my life. My only regret is that i did not have the surgery sooner!
 
 
 
I will definitely continue to update my story along the way. So excited to have a seat on the Loser's Bench!
 
Reasons why I want this new beginning:
Confidence - I want to like myself again
Take awesome Selfies haha
Fit comfortably in an airline seat AND not need the seatbelt adjuster **ACCOMPLISHED 1/29/2016**
Energy! Sick of the 9PM mandatory bedtime
Get to my goal weight so I can get my dream boobs! (Currently an F and I want to be a DD or D!)
Keep up with my Fit Friends
Aches & Pains - who ever would want to keep that?
Rollercoasters - maybe! but I have to be able to fit first!
I want to be able to only have (1) chin. 
Get back into my highschool soccer glory days!
Want to not need the PLUS SIZE section!
Go to Europe - I feel like you can't be obese and be happy in Europe
 
Flaws I will need to overcome to be successful:
I LOVE CHEESE
Protein Shakes are gross
I have a caffeine issue (I LOVE IT) 
 
Goals:
I'm going to Florida in November 2016 and I want to be able to wear a tankini (in a smaller size, duh  ;-))
I want to be able to hit the gym at least (3) times a week by March 2016
When I'm back to a "normal diet" I want that diet to be HEALTHY HEALTHY HEALTHY
Do the Turkey Trot in Detroit for Thanksgiving in 2017