Jean McMillan

That's fairly common, so you're not alone. Variable restriction is part of the band package, because we're all living, breathing human beings whose bodies are affected by time of day, time of month, hydration, medications, stress, etc. etc. You may be prolonging the "can't eat anything" periods without even realizing it. When you have a stuck episode or other eating problem, don't continue trying to eat that meal. Stop eating and follow a liquid diet for at least 24 hours to let everything inside calm down again. If you don't give yourself that break, every additional bite of food you take will prolong the irritation and inflammation, so you end up in a never-ending cycle of eating problems. If that doesn't help, talk to your surgeon about it.

In my weight loss phase, my daily food plan was: B: 1 egg, 1 slice toast (or 1 pkg weight control instant oatmeal w/ 1/2 banana) S: 1/2 cup fruit L: 2 oz Protein (chicken, fish, pork, beef, tofu, etc.), 1/4 cup non-starchy veg, 1/4 cup starchy veg S: 1/2 cup fruit D: same as lunch S: protein shake That was about 900 calories/day.

One more thing... In my opinion, the "sweet spot" is a myth. Nor is there any such thing as "perfect" restriction. We experience restriction in a range that Allergan calls the Green Zone. You might have an hour or a day or a week of what feels like "perfect" restriction, but it's not likely to be permanent because we are living, breathing human beings who are affected by dozens of perfectly ordinary things (medication, time of day, time of month, allergies, hydration, stress, the food we eat, etc.). So if you go into the next phase of your WLS journey still looking for that sweet spot, you're probably going to be disappointed. And if you go into the next phase looking for ways to work with your band (or whatever WLS tool) to maximize your weight loss, you'll have a happier, more successful journey.

If you started out with a not-so-good bariatric surgeon who somehow deceived you into choosing the band (I'd like to hear more about how he did that), there's no guarantee that you'd have better success with the bypass. It's great that you've found a better surgeon. I hope the rest of your WLS journey goes more smoohly now.

1. I don't consider kinked tubing to be band failure, especially if you've lost 80 lbs. It's a complication, sure, but a fairly easy problem to fix. 2. I used to participate on OH forums a lot. One of the reasons I left OH was because of extreme negativity there. I'm not saying that the people posting there aren't having problems, just that you're probably not getting a well-balanced view there. One of the wonderful people I met on OH had a leak in her tubing (apparently from the tubing chafing against her abdominal wall for 6 years), had it replaced, lost the weight she'd regained, and is doing fine. 3. I know 3 bandsters who revised from the band to the bypass. Their weight loss with the bypass is happening at the same pace as their weight loss with the band (i.e., slow). One had some serious complications from her revision surgery but is doing OK now.

You're very welcome!

I agree with Drasan. There is nothing in the band that will make you lose weight. All it does is reduce your appetite and provide early and prolonged satiety so that you consume fewer calories than you burn. If you truly believe your problem is not eating enough, it seems to me that a visit to an endocrinologist is more in order for you than any kind of weight loss surgery.

Work harder on your band eating skills, use moist cooking methods, have tiny amounts of some kind of sauce with dense proteins, and avoid anything breaded. I found early on that anything breaded was lethal. Like it got gunked up in my stoma. Blech.

You can see before & after pix on my profile.

HOW TO BE A WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY SUCCESS When aspiring writers ask me, “How can I become a writer?” my answer is invariably, “Write.” So, want to know how to be a successful WLS patient? The answer is: “Be one.” What does that mean? It means that I write every day. Other than finding or making the time to do it, it’s not hard, because I love to write. So to be a writer, I practice the art of writing every day. What I write varies, just as what you eat varies, depending on how much time I have and what I’m in the mood for. Within 15-30 minutes of getting up each morning, I write something. I write e-mails to my accountability partners, telling them about my eating, exercise, and perhaps some funny, or infuriating, or interesting stories about my daily life. I write down the thoughts I have about newsletter articles. I write lists of things to do and things to think about. At some point during each day, I write sentences or paragraphs or chapters of articles, essays, stories and books. I write journal entries that help me muddle through puzzling situations and relationships. I also love being slim and healthy, so I practice the art of being slim and healthy every day. This too varies, but within 15-30 minutes of getting up each morning, I practice my healthy lifestyle. I update my food log and report my food plan and eating behavior to my accountability partners. I get dressed in workout gear and spend 45 minutes at an exercise class, 5 days a week. I write a weekly menu plan and I write my grocery list. Even when I’m doing something that isn’t directly related to weight and health, I’m practicing. I see a plate of home-baked cookies on the break room table at work and think about whether I want to eat one or if I’ll regret doing that. In a short 15 minute break, I practice good eating skills as carefully as I can despite feeling hurried. When I get in my car to go home and notice I’m thinking wistfully of Chicken McNuggets or Dulce de Leche ice cream, I take a deep breath and ask myself if I really need those things or just want them as a quick fix. I try to see myself driving home and preparing the healthy meal I’ve planned. I try to remember how good I felt when I did that the day before. I think about how happy my dogs will be if I get home on time (anybody who claims dogs can’t tell time has clearly never lived with a dog). The key words in the two paragraphs above are “love” and “practice”. If you’re thinking, “But I don’t love to diet!” maybe it’s time to adjust your thinking. Instead of thinking, “I hate dieting,” try this on for size: “I love being a WLS success.” And it’s definitely time to discard the notion of being “on a diet”. A diet is something you do for a finite period (a week, a month, 3 months). It’s temporary, and when it ends, your eating goes back to the way it was before the diet, and lo and behold, the weight you lost comes back, and sometimes it brings all its friends. I know that for an absolute fact because it’s happened to me so many times since I was 14 or 15 years old. Being a weight loss success means practicing healthy eating every day of your life, for the rest of your life. Some days may be healthier than others, and that’s OK. You’re just practicing, right? It doesn’t have to be perfect; it just has to be regular and ongoing. I don’t think about weight loss and health and all that good stuff every waking minute, and not all my thoughts are virtuous. I spend quite a lot of time thinking things like, “Why doesn’t that pickup truck just pass me rather than riding on my tail?” or “If he spits toothpaste on the mirror one more time, he's gonna die a painful death.” But thoughts about weight and health do go through my mind a few times a day. I’ve heard WLS patients say they never want to have to think about that stuff ever again. I don’t think I could succeed that way, and those thoughts are not a burden for me. The real burdensome thoughts I bear are ones like, “I should have hugged Mom more often before she died.” Oh, I know that “shoulda, coulda” thoughts are a waste of time and energy. That’s probably why they’re so hard to bear. But that’s a topic for another article. So, do you want success? I want to hear you say it, loud and proud: I WANT TO BE A WEIGHT LOSS SUCCESS! I WILL BE A WEIGHT LOSS SUCCESS! I AM A WEIGHT LOSS SUCCESS! And give yourself three cheers for your effort, even if you feel you haven’t yet achieved success. Sports teams get cheered at every game, whether they win it or not. BE A CHEERLEADER Speaking of cheering… Sometimes your WLS journey seems endless, and you wish someone else would notice all the work you’re putting into it, and you wonder why no one else has noticed that hard work and praised you for the results. In Bandwagon I list some of the reasons other people don’t seem to notice your weight loss (#1 being that they’re preoccupied with their own issues), but you can set the stage for the cheerleaders you wish you had by becoming a cheerleader yourself. When you give out (deserved) compliments, smiles, and encouragement, all that good stuff will eventually come back to you. Other people are usually attracted to someone positive and optimistic. Of course, there are people who are attracted to the vulnerable loser I used to be, like several toxic ex-boyfriends I could name, but I’m no longer so desperate for attention that I’ll take abuse just so I won’t be alone. Here’s an example of how cheerleading works. I have a young coworker who I’ll call Suzie. She is short and plump, with a sweet face and severe acne on her face, throat, chest, neck, and upper back. I often feel sorry for her when I look at her poor, inflamed skin, but pity isn’t going to do much for her, and I’d rather save my pity for the truly deserving people, like me. (Just kidding!) It’s hard for me to watch my young male associates flirting with the other girls and ignoring Suzie. But I don’t go up to Suzie and tell her those guys are idiots. I go up to her, gesture at her sweater and say, “Suzie, that color looks fabulous on you!” A smile lights up her face, and we go back to whatever we were doing before that exchange. Two days later, Suzie finds me in front of a mirror, holding a sweater up to my middle-aged body, and she says, “Miss Jean, that would look great on you, but I think you need a smaller size.” Get the idea? Try it - you might like it! FAKING IT I probably quote this saying too often, but it bears repeating now because it relates to the theme of this article. 12-step programs have a saying that never gets old and applies to anyone who’s trying to change or to live a better life: FAKE IT UNTIL YOU MAKE IT At one point in my life, that saying struck me as disingenuous. I was hung up on being the “authentic” me and looked down on the idea of role-playing my way into a better place. But I was miserable being that “authentic” me, and faking it is one of the things that helped me learn how to be a happier me. Pretending to be a weight loss success is one of the things that made me a weight loss success, just as practicing scales is one of the things that makes a pianist into a virtuoso. So, try it - you might like it!

No hard feelings here. And you're right about babies who arrive with or without advance planning, and with or without the use of contraception. My house is full of unplanned and beloved children. They happen to be canine kids, but we love them all. If we'd been able to have human children, our house might be full of grandchildren by now. Whatever species, they all need feeding and loving! And so do their parents.

At a support group meeting a few years ago, a pre-op woman and her husband argued openly about her desire to have WLS. She clearly needed major help with weight loss because of some serious medical problems, he was vehemently against it, and the argument kept escalating. The facilitator of the meeting was struggling to get him to calm down enough to talk about why he was so against it. Suddenly he burst out that he didn't want other men looking at her and wanting her. He was so upset (and embarrassed, probably) that he got up and stomped out of the room. It would be easy to say that he was being a jerk and inconsiderate of his wife's needs, but all I heard was the agony in his voice, and his terror over the possibility of life without his wife. I hope that couple was able to get some counseling or other help. I've been married for 25 years to a guy who I love but who still has a hard time talking about his feelings. Men are acculturated to be strong and silent, and I have to take extra care to reassure my sweetie on a regular basis. Because I can't bear the thought of life without him.

It's not mean, it's arithmetic. Let's say your basal metabolism needs 2000 cal/day just to keep you alive. To lose 1 lb/week, you need to eat 500 cal/day less, so that's 1500 cal/day. But if you're pregnant, you need to eat 300 cal/day more than your basal metabolism needs, so that means you need to eat 2300 cal/day. Bottom line: Pregnant Mom > 2300 cal/day > healthy baby Pregnant Mom > 1500 cal/day > unhealthy baby

I think all of us deal with self-sabotage to some extent. Even "normal" people do it, but it's expressed not in eating behavior but in other areas of their lives. With a big family, you have a LOT on your life's plate besides food. The approach that works best for me when I'm trying to make major changes in my behavior is to pick one small behavior and work on that until I feel I've got it under better control before I take on another one. So for example, you could decide to get all junk food out of your house (give it to friends, family, food bank, dumpster) and promise yourself not to bring home anything else like that for (say) 2 weeks. Trying to make big changes all at once is a setup for failure, in my opinion. I know very well what it's like to get trapped in hopelessness. I think you need to get some small successes (see above) under your belt so that the hopelessness loses some of its power over you. And as you said, you need lots of support. You can get that here on LBT, in an in-person WLS support group, in a group like Overeaters Anonymous, and/or in counseling with a therapist experienced with WLS and eating disorder patients.

And other things you need to know about WLS but are afraid to ask... I wonder sometimes if bariatric professionals forget to emphasize the importance of good band eating skills because they they've never had to live with a gastric band. Of course, a few bariatric professionals are also bariatric patients, and thank goodness for that. I also wonder if bandsters are unaware of the importance of good band eating skills because their brains slipped into neutral during that part of their pre-op education. You'll have a hard time convincing me that's never happened to you, because I am the Queen of Lists and Note Taking. In high school and college, classmates would pay me for copies of my class notes. (Not only were they thorough, they were neatly penned in my prize-winning handwriting and decorated with cunning cartoons depicting my teachers and professors in embarrassing situations.) I take a notebook and a list of questions to every medical appointment, I ask questions, I re-read my notes, but despite all of that, my brain tends to shift gears when I see or hear something that strikes me as unimportant or irrelevant. And aside from being The World's Greatest Living Expert on Everything, what exactly qualifies me to make the unimportant or irrelevant judgment? Nothing. Nada. Nichts. Niente. During my pre- and post-op patient education, which was tailored exclusively to bandsters and administered by well-prepared bariatric dietitians, nurses, physician's assistants, and so on, I must have heard the eating skills lecture a dozen times. I was told that if I didn't eat carefully, I would end up in pain or with my meal in my lap. I nodded my understanding each time I heard that and could repeat the lecture verbatim, but it wasn't until I took a huge bite of a grilled cheese sandwich 24 hours after my first fill that I truly understood what all those folks had been telling me. And that’s not an experience I’m likely to forget. Take Tiny Bites I talk about good eating skills a lot. Why do I go on and on about that? Is it because I like the sound of my own (editorial) voice? Well, sure - that's no secret. But for what reason besides that? Important information bears repeating, and repetition is one of the ways that we acquire new information and learn new habits. If you doubt that, pay attention to how many times the Geico lizard appears on your television screen each day. Good band eating skills must become a habit if you're going to succeed with your band and avoid side effects and complications. Those eating skills must be your habit every hour of every day, not just as a new post-op or after each fill, but every day for the rest of your life. That sounds like a pretty tall order, doesn't it? Don't panic, though. A well-ingrained habit doesn't take as much conscious thought as a brand-new one. Your own behavior has already proven that if you've ever found yourself with a half-finished Twinkie or a cigarette or a beer in your hand and couldn't remember how it got there. It works the other way too. Your healthy new habits will eventually dig themselves into your life and using them will get easier as you go along. When you forget your band eating skills, your band will give you a loud reminder in the form of side effects like PB's, sliming, or stuck episodes, but I beg you not to rely on your band's built-in warning system on a regular basis, because doing so will send your bandwagon skittering down the road to complications like esophageal dilation, stomach dilation, band slips and even band erosion. One of the problems with the band's alarm system is that the truly destructive behaviors it reacts to may trigger relatively mild warnings so long before the damage is done that it's easy to shrug them off. For example, let's say that you often take big bites, don't chew very well, eat quickly, and/or eat beyond your soft stops (soft stops are gentle stop-eating signals, like hiccups). Each time you do those things, you experience mild discomfort. Nothing horrific. It happens, you think, "Oops," and you go back to whatever you were doing before the discomfort happened. Eventually this mild discomfort becomes just a part of your post-op life - the same as the way you sneeze when you pet a cat, pass gas when you eat beans, or get a headache when you don't wear your eyeglasses. Hey, that's just the way it is, right? But one bad day after dozens of ordinary days you can't even swallow your own saliva. You rush to the doctor, who does an upper GI x-ray and tells you your band has slipped. "How can that be?" you cry, "Everything's been fine until now!" In fact, everything has not been fine, because your careless eating has been pushing, pushing, pushing at your band's limits, until finally it pushed your band up your esophagus or down your stomach. I don't like finger-pointing any better than you do, but whose responsibility is that band slip? Is it your surgeon's, for not stitching it on there well enough? Is it the band manufacturer's, for not making your band slip-proof? Or is it yours? There can be a happy ending to your story, though. Even if the band slip is clearly your fault, you won't get sent to prison to sip brackish water and gnaw on stale bread for the rest of your days. Your surgeon can unfill your band (or, less likely, re-operate to reposition your band), and you can revamp your eating skills, lose weight, and live happily ever after. Or better yet, you can avoid the pain, inconvenience, financial and emotional costs, and pay attention to your eating from now on. I ain't gonna lie to you...acquiring and practicing this new habit won't be easy, but I can think of a lot of things that could be worse. A lot worse. The official Bandwagon® Eating Skills are: 1. Don't drink while you eat or for 30 to 60 minutes afterwards. 2. Take tiny bites. 3. Chew, chew chew. 4. Eat slowly. 5. Eat the protein first. 6. Learn your stop signals. 7. Pay attention to problem foods. 8. Eat only when you're hungry. 9. Avoid liquid calories and slider foods. 10. Use a small plate. 11. Plan your food in advance. 12. Don't watch TV or read while you eat. 13. Don't put serving dishes on the dining table. 14. Eat sitting down at the dining table. 15. Follow the HALT rule (don't eat when you're too hungry, angry, lonely or tired). You’ll find full explanations of each skill in Chapter 12 of Bandwagon, Strategies for Success with the Adjustable Gastric Band, by yours truly.

Thanks! I'm so glad Bandwagon is helping you!

Here's the line from that abstract that resonates for me: Nevertheless, LAGB had a remarkably safe course, and it may therefore be considered for motivated and informed patients. Since you're both motivated and informed, I'd say the band is a good choice for you.

Sorry if that came across to you as mean, because that wasn't my intention, and I don't think the OP (original poster) took it that way. My point in recommending birth control is that having babies and losing weight are both worthwhile but incompatible.

You've gotten some very helpful responses to this thread. I just want to add one thing...congrats on the 2 post-band babies, but you need to find some birth control that works, at least until you get your weight and your eating problems under control. Just sayin....

I agree with CarolinaGirl that you shouldn't be adding foods to your diet just because other members are straying from their post-op eating instructions. I think you need to call your surgeon's office and talk to a nurse or other medical professional about ad-libbing your food and also about the shortness of breath. Narcotic pain meds can depress breathing, but no one here on LBT is qualified to diagnose and treat medical issues.

You're sure it's a decent percentage (25-35%)? What makes you sure of that? The study quoted in that article consisted of only 151 patients, studied in Belgium from 1994-1997. I'm not a big fan of statistics. I agree with a boss I once had who used to say, "Figures can lie, and liars can figure." I'm not calling you a liar, just pointing out that statistics can be manipulated to support just about any argument.

We'll have to agree to disagree, because I've seen so many self-pay patients struggle to pay for fills and/or treatment for complications. Your fills at $150 each are a good deal for self-pay, for sure!

I'm sorry, but the only food choices in your list of what you ate that sound like good ones for weight loss are the mango, strawberries, and water. You might want to try using an online food tracker (sparkpeople.com, myfitnesspal.com, livestrong.com, etc.) to get a more accurate idea of how many calories you're consuming and whether any of them are providing good nutrition. It helps me, anyway. I'm expert at rationalizing bad food choices. That's one of the ways I got fat in the first place.