MissBlueVS

I find things are a mixed bag for me. I grew up a normal sized girl who had it in my head I was overweight, so I acted the part. My family were all heavy so I assumed I was much the same. I wore baggy clothes and just assumed people wouldn't automatically like me. Much of this was based on how I saw people treat my mother. My mother was serverly obsese much of her life and more than once I saw her ridiculed for it so I learned this is how people treat overweight people. Then I had a brief spell where I got on a swimming kick when I was finally out on my own and lost enough weight to be underweight. It was a very unhealthy place for me, but I was young and quite frankly neurotic about weight so I didn't care. I felt thin for once. I felt like I was getting noticed more often and had more attention from the men around me. Of course, I was also finally buying clothes that fit me better and looked nicer, I was less self conscious and in general just acting different. I felt I looked good and no longer assumed people were looking at me as unattractive. People were treating me better but a lot of it was because I wasn't acting like a little Eeyore with a black cloud over my head. This has always been my issue: How I see myself in my mind often reflects in how I act around people. It used to dictate if I was outgoing or not. When I settled down with a guy and started gaining weight slowly my self confidence tanked again. I went back to that learned behavior from my younger years. People treated me differently as a result. When I hit my mid thirties I realized I was just as riddled with issues over my appearance and how I worried my weight would affect how people treated me, however, I didn't really care anymore. I was myself and happy and people always treated me as well as I treated them. Then I lost a pregnancy and went into a full on weight overload with my grief eating and gained nearly ninety pounds in a short time and the difference in how I was treated was no longer in my head. It was really sobering, sad and made me feel really bad for the state of some people in our society. I only had my surgery back in July and now that I'm down 80lbs and three dress sizes, once again I feel like I'm back to that good place of dealing with my own issues, not worrying about them so much when out in the world and once again I don't feel like anyone treats me any different --as in I'm treated fine by most people I come across. I've still got a long way to go but I feel better about myself in a way I never have in the past and I know that's radiating out of me in many different ways. I will say though --the one thing I've encountered that I haven't liked is having a few people who know I've had the surgery give me a real critical eye. They're expecting me to drop the majority of my excess weight in a ridiculously short time and when I don't meet with the expected change in my appearance, they'll harp on me about perhaps I'm not trying hard enough or (and this kills me) being so close to my goals but letting myself remain fat longer than need be. I lost a job (I do freelance work for various groups) that required I be around a set of clients in person when normally I just deal with everyone online or over the phone. They decided to wait until next year when I might have more weightloss and better represent them. They were quite blunt about it too. Life's too short. I removed myself from their list of freelancers and sent them a letter addressing their open discrimination. I regret nothing about this process though. Whether people treat me different or not, it's helped me get myself into a better headspace and as a result a lot of things have changed for the better. I have found positivity thankfully often gets met with positivity. Good luck to you!

I was just checking to see if there were anyone here in the Cincinnati area and saw the thred. I'm transplanting there in two weeks, though my gent's family are there so I've been visiting for years. I was curious if anyone could recommend a good bariatric medical group in this general area. I really like my group here in MI but I'd feel more comfortable knowing there is someone local I can turn to. I'm also going to miss my support group. So if anyone has room for a geek with a very off sense of humor, you could do worse than me I had my surgery the end of July. Everything has been good, though I've hit my slow down point a bit.