needtorecover

That's a big difference - you should definitely be proud of yourself! Think of where you'd be if you didn't get your lap band at all. You've lost weight and kept it off, and that in itself is success

I've had this before It's good - the only thing I don't like about it is that it doesn't have any Probiotics. That's primarily why I eat yogurt since it helps with digestion and keeping things balanced in the lady garden. But, since it doesn't have live cultures, it doesn't have that tang some people dislike about yogurt so that could be a plus for folks averse to the flavor!

Maybe I'm weird but I don't feel guilty when I eat! I feel happy because I eat *less* even if it's not down to a half cup of food per meal yet. Pre-band me would eat this in a day: yogurt and banana for Breakfast, cheeseburger, fries, Cookies, and a coke for lunch, potato chips and French onion dip as a snack, chicken nuggets with macaroni and cheese and green Beans for dinner, and then ice cream or cookies for dessert. Plus I'd drink coffee with cream, sodas, juice, and milk all day. Now I eat a yogurt and banana for breakfast, a sandwich with fruit for lunch, nuts and a slice of cheese for a snack, and dinner will be a salad plate with a Protein, veggie, and carb divided in three portions. Sometimes I'll have a small dessert like a couple pieces of chocolate or an ice cream sandwich, or I'll have a glass of wine. Unsweetened tea, coffee, and Water to drink all day. That's maybe a total of 1/3 to 1/2 the calories I used to eat. I feel good and I feel like I'm getting enough so I'm satisfied even if I'm not 100% green yet. My doctor said I should feel satisfied on a half cup to one cup of food per meal and not need Snacks. I'm definitely not there yet so I'll keep getting fills but for now I'm just happy I'm satisfied eating so much less food than I used to. My appetite was a roaring dragon before my lap band. Now it's a whining puppy I can push aside if necessary. Point is, try not to feel guilty because you still need food to survive! As long as you're losing, it's working

He's probably worried about you and doesn't understand what it's like to be morbidly obese so my guess is he views this as unnecessary elective surgery and too extreme for your circumstances. It's understandable if you've never had a weight problem. I'd frame it to him as being worried about your health, feeling like your weight is out of your control, and wanting to make a positive change so you can do more things with your family and have more energy. Take him with you to your orientation so he can learn more about it. Having three kids he's probably worried if something were to happen to you over what he believes may just be a cosmetic and easily fixed problem. Surgery is scary. But there is plenty of proof that you'd live a longer, healthier life at a lower weight and surgery is the most effective treatment of morbid obesity. Why are you worried about your relationship after losing weight? I've told my partner that things will be better because I'll have more energy to do stuff with her and our son. I'll be able to keep up and play sports better, hike faster, won't be as afraid of flying out of a Water slide (it's a legit fear when you're very heavy and the inertia from your weight catapults you faster than you'd expect), will fit in roller coasters better... I eat less so she gets more of my food if she wants it. I share my food with our son because I can't eat it all. I used to be really grumpy about sharing my favorite foods (fat girl problems) but now I'm not at all because I get full easily. It's a weird benefit but there you go. If you make it sound like he's going to benefit from having a lighter weight spouse he may hop on board with your plan more readily just make sure he knows you take doctor's orders seriously and that you're going to take care of yourself and make sure you're prepared so the surgery is as safe as possible.

I don't think anyone on a public forum is going to be able to tell you what to do... That's all your call to make. You're not giving us enough information to even weigh in with any advice... what was your starting weight? Are you full and happy after you eat? Why did you have to wait 3 years for surgery? What would happen if you walked away? What kind of surgery are you pursuing?

Thanks ladies, this is helpful! Macy's may be my best bet for now - can anyone tell me if their sizes run big or small? I HATE women's sizing and how arbitrary it can be... I'm a Lane Bryant size 24 in pants (they're getting looser but I'm still not a size 22 yet). 22/24 top. @@OutsideMatchInside - my budget right now isn't terribly high because I'm losing weight and I'd hate to invest big bucks on a suit I can only wear to the interviews I'm participating in over the coming months. But I would love, love, love to have a tailored suit for when I reach my goal weight and (presumably) stay there. It's good to know Nordstrom's does tailoring. That would be tremendously helpful. I've always wanted a personally tailored suit but I haven't been able to find a place that specializes in ladies' tailoring. I'll check that out! Thanks for the suggestion!

I have a really hard time talking about my surgery with friends who are either obese or have lost weight via diet pills, strict diet, or heavy exercise. My obese friends don't want to talk about it because it highlights the fact that they haven't done anything to change their weight, and my friends who have lost weight through other methods may feel superior to me since I "resorted" to WLS when they white-knuckled their way through a severe WL program. My thinner friends and family are definitely the most supportive! It's funny how that works. I'm lucky that I have several life-long friendships from childhood and college. I've lost a couple through irreparable damage to our relationships - one married someone I accused of being an alcoholic and I vocalized my disagreement and she decided to dump me rather than dump her fiancé. Turns out I was wrong and I deeply regret my big mouth but what's done is done and our relationship has never been the same. Another married a Texan bigot who hates gay people and this friend dumped me and my partner (who was friends with her for 20+ years prior) in favor of said Texan bigot. That loss hurt a LOT. Cut us both pretty deep - it sucks feeling inadequate over something you literally cannot control. These losses do hurt. But sometimes they're necessary. I was the crappy friend in the first scenario and I deserved to be dumped. My friend who married TB was a terrified sheep who thought this man was her only shot at getting married and having children - we always knew marrying a Lutheran was extremely important to her and supported her even though we're agnostics and that never got in the way of our friendship until this man came along and forbade our friendship. She chose him over us and it is what it is. Point is, you need to do what's best for you right now. Try giving it a chance because lifelong friends are priceless, and if the friendship is true it's worth trying to salvage. As others said, it's likely she's feeling insecure because she perceives her WLS as unsuccessful and your starting this journey reminds her of her failure. I'd ask her if she wants to talk about it. Tell her you'd love to have a WLS buddy and ask her for advice. Maybe if you make her feel like hers was a success she'll be more open to talking about it. Sorry you're going through this Friendships get harder to manage and maintain as time passes, I've learned.

It sounds like he has a couple things going against him. 1) He clearly loves food - I was the same way (moaning when I ate, especially when I was super hungry... it just felt so good). He may be afraid of that feeling going away. I had that fear myself. I thought I'd miss food desperately, that I'd long for it all the time, that I'd be hungry but unable to do anything about it. Instead, the hunger is just GONE (blessedly, blessedly gone) and I didn't realize how much that hunger tormented me until it went away. He would be tremendously relieved to see it go away - I hope he changes his mind. 2) He probably has some self-esteem issues. I'm certain he doesn't feel good about breaking furniture, about being unable to have sex, about his sleep apnea or health issues, I'm sure he feels awful physically... The more you tell him he has to lose weight and surgery is the only way out, the harder he will push back. He's probably wanting to prove something to you by losing weight without surgery and gets motivated and then it eventually peters out after a few weeks of struggling without much reward. I am sorry you're going through this. It must be incredibly distressing to see your significant other damaging his health so badly. Really, it's like a drug addict. You can see them abusing the drugs, the damage it's doing to them, you can beg them to stop, tell them it's hurting your relationship and destroying their health... but ultimately he has to open his eyes and see it himself. I really, really hope he listens to you eventually.

If you don't already, carry some trail mix or string cheese and a bottle of Water everywhere you go. I used to faint when I was normal sized (ah, to be thin again... soon!) because I was hypoglycemic. Blood sugar would crash, and down I'd go. It happened with some regularity until I brought Snacks with me. If you feel faint, eat a few bites and it should pass. This is if I'm correctly understanding the issue. I'm glad you had a positive experience with the EMTs and lack of embarrassment - I definitely understand! But fainting can be dangerous depending on where you are. I've heard of folks suffering from fairly serious head injuries from fainting in the bathroom and hitting the sink or tub, for example. You can't control how you fall. It's like one second you're standing up, then your vision clouds and hearing goes into a vacuum, and boom, you're awake on the floor surrounded by panicked faces. Congrats, though, on the NSV!

My fingers are itching to send this to my uncle... I made a post about this before with him being 69 years old and about 400 pounds. I am so worried about him dying before his time but his paranoid daughter talked him out of it because she's afraid he'll die on the operating table. I know it's not my place but the evidence is so strong. Surely the surgery carries less risks than the weight that's crushing his organs. In the next month or so I'm going to invite him out to lunch. I want him to see me after I've shed a good 50 pounds. I just had another fill and this one is really working great - only ate a half cup of food for dinner last night! This weight is going to melt right off my muscles, bones, and organs - and I'm feeling so good. I want him to see that. Hopefully a bright light will shine from above and guide him back to the bariatric center.

Hey ladies - I've seen forum posts about unwanted advances after WLS. I'm just curious to know if anyone else has experienced this phenomenon pre-WLS... For the past decade I've noticed a certain type of man hits on me. Usually he's gross, missing a couple teeth, smells like cigarette smoke, and is either hanging out of someone else's car or standing behind me at a grocery store carrying a bottle of booze and a package of hot dogs. I get the feeling they think they have a shot with me because I am obese, therefore must be lonely and desperate. I always reject them and then they get really offended like they can't believe I'm ungrateful for the attention. One man shouted as I walked away "Well, you're fat anyway!" YES. I am fat. Thank you for stating the obvious. That doesn't mean I should be glad scumbags are interested in knocking boots with me. Anyone else have this problem? Does it get better or worse as you lost weight? Personally I'd rather not get attention at all (positive or negative). I just want to be left alone. I'm happy with my marriage and that's enough.

Sounds like you dated some serious losers!! I can understand having self-esteem issues after having two horrible experiences like that. I think it's probably a combination of being judged so harshly like that and losing all that weight and looking different now that's causing you to feel this way. Facial features look different when you're obese vs. average weight. I used to think my face was pretty when I was thin but now my eyes look tiny in their sea of fat, and my smile looks smaller because of my linebacker neck. It really sucks. But if you're used to seeing your face in its plump state and then all the fat disappears you probably pay closer attention to your features. I very well may feel differently after I lose the weight, too. You are lovely, as others have already said, so popular opinion confirms your beauty but regardless, you just need to learn to see it yourself. Try different make-up techniques to see if you can enhance the features you do like and hide the ones that make you uncomfortable. Hopefully you'll grow happier with your appearance as time passes and you get used to the skinny version of you!

I'm only a few months out from surgery myself and I have a hard time gauging appropriate portion sizes so I stick with my salad plates. Even then I fill it up and think "That's not enough" and remind myself I can always get more if I want it. Then I eat and can't finish it. It is still very surprising. I'm one who always loaded up a regular sized plate and still went back for seconds so it's a bit of a mind bender for me!

My goal is to be that mom who plays with her kids at the park It's so hard having all this fat to lug around and I tire so easily... not for long!! Stories like these give me hope. My boy is still very small (13 months old) so I have plenty of time to shed the weight and become the fun mom I want to be.

Many natural thin folks have a hard time wrapping their minds around obesity and why people can't stop eating. For them, it's easy because their "full" signals aren't confused like ours, or they don't eat for comfort, or they're just blessed with remarkable metabolisms and never even have to think about it. My slender PCPs advised me away from WLS. I saw a dietician who swore if I just stuck to her 1800 calorie a day diet the weight would come off and stay off. One of my doctors told me to do South Beach, and another told me to start a walking program All fantastic ideas, if my body would cooperate and I wouldn't backslide. In any case, you may want to look for a new dietician. Like others said, she made the appointment about her it sounds like ("I lost 10 pounds so it's not THAT hard!"). It is tough finding a dietician who is compassionate and understanding towards obese individuals but they're out there. Hope the psych eval goes well!

Well, if you're eating too fast and taking too big of a bite and not chewing well and you have a lap band... yes, that is normal You need to take it easy. Chew your food really well, take smaller bites, and pause between swallows. That should resolve the issue. If you're still getting stuck on small bites and well-chewed food then you may want to get an unfill at some point. Don't feel bad, I'm pretty sure we've all been there. My doctor told me my 2 CC fill wouldn't cause any restriction so I kept eating like I always did and I swallowed a huge mouthful of noodles. THAT hurt. You get used to learning the signs. If you feel a tightness in your upper chest, STOP EATING and sip some Water until it goes away and then try eating again but slower and with smaller bites. That helps me a lot.

For breakfast you can make omelet muffins. You fill muffin tins with veggies like mushrooms, onions, green peppers, whatever you like and add cheese, meats (like crumbled sausage, bacon, or diced ham) and then bake until golden brown on top. When they're cool, wrap them in Saran Wrap and put them in a freezer bag. Then you can heat them up and eat them for breakfast all week before work. Cottage cheese or Greek yogurt with fruit is another good choice. Or a hard boiled egg and fruit. Peanut Butter on whole grain toast. Avocado toast with sliced hard boiled egg. You can make and freeze breakfast burritos. All kinds of good stuff out there! Just depends on what you like.

You didn't provide much information so it's hard to give advice... what caused you to fall off the wagon? How full is your band right now? What are your eating habits like? Were you successful before? Generally speaking, I wouldn't advise ANYONE to fill their band to the max. Some folks fill it up halfway and can't even swallow. Would you really want to constrict your band so much you're completely blocking off the opening to your stomach? Seems really extreme to me. The reason I like the lap band is because the weight loss is slow and steady. There shouldn't be a deadline for weight loss. You'll get there! Talk to your doctor and get his/her advice. Most doctors only fill 1-2 cc's at a time. Don't do anything to hurt yourself.

My perspective of the women/men only threads is that it's a warning to the squeamish opposite sex that they may not want to enter the conversation. Some guys get really, really grossed out by lady-bit discussions. Likewise some ladies get really, really grossed out by male issues. I enjoy good reading material. And I think some women can comment on penis size post-surgery because, really, we kind of have the same problems... not with size necessarily but if you have a FUPA (Google if you must) it will likely resolve itself much like a man's penis will likely seem larger after weight loss. I can testify that I've slept with larger men and the penis will appear larger if the pubic fat pad is pushed down. Thus, I can surmise Sanchez Jr. will get some extra inchage after WLS. Just saying.

Do you track your cycles? If so, you should reschedule during ovulation (if possible). The cervix is slightly dilated already and will be resting lower in your vagina so it's easier to reach. How much pain you'll experience also depends on how sensitive your cervix is. Try not to worry yourself too much. I had a procedure called an HSG which is basically an x-ray to see if the fallopian tubes are open and I did some research beforehand. A lot of people said it was horribly painful and one said she screamed so much she scared the women in the waiting room. I worked myself up into a frenzy and had a panic attack. Didn't help that they strapped my legs down with these large, padded Velcro strips. Turned out to be okay because while it was uncomfortable it didn't hurt too much. Everyone's experiences will be different. I do recommend taking 2 Tylenol beforehand. I was told no NAISDs too when I had my HSG but I was allowed to have 2 Tylenol. Hope it goes well! You'll be glad you did it in the long run

I'm very far from Onederland. But I'm looking forward to getting below 274 274 was my lowest weight in recent memory. Once I get below 274 that will be the lightest I've been in at least 4 years. 237 is my next magic number. That's when I'll have lost 50% of my excess fat. Then my next milestone is Onederland. I have 17 pounds until my first goal is met! Woo hoo!

@@Cervidae That is just awful What kind of teacher does that?! He must have issues himself if he bullies little girls like that. I, too, was publically weighed and due to my height ended up weighing a good 30+ pounds more than most of the other girls. That's the day I was labeled "fat." I hope schools stop doing this. The best part is what they served in the cafeteria for lunch. Always pizza/burger/fried chicken/country fried steak and either fries or mashed potatoes, a giant roll with butter, and milk. Fat and carbs. There was an optional salad bar hidden on the other side of the room that cost more than the hot lunch. Soda and candy machines everywhere, and a little snack shop set up outside with additional chips and Cookies. Way to make it easy to eat right while fat shaming your students

Thanks all - I will just stay out of it but will answer questions if he approaches me. I hope he reconsiders but my cousin can be overbearing when it comes to my uncle. She's a daddy's girl, always has been, and I know she's terrified to lose him. But really, his healthcare team should be the one making the call on whether or not surgery is safe for him. @@Valentina - When I mentioned his age I did not imply he's feeble minded nor incapable of making his own decisions. Of course he is - it's ultimately his choice what he decides to do. I have a lot of respect for my uncle - he's the godfather of my baby. I am annoyed with my cousin for what I believe is selfish behavior. She's had him wrapped around her finger since the day she was born and her ability to get her way has nothing to do with his age.

I had WLS in December - and I am already SO GLAD I did it. My mom told me my uncle was inspired by my decision and he wants to look into getting a Lap Band as well. He's 69 years old and I'd guess around 400 pounds. He's a really big guy and I was really glad to hear that he wants to have WLS because I feel like it would be really, really good for him. Well, my cousin (who has never had a weight problem) talked him out of it because she's afraid he'll die during surgery. Surgery on anyone close to 70 is risky, I'm guessing, and probably even riskier for someone who is morbidly obese. However, his risk of death right now at his weight is pretty high, right? In my mind, losing weight would save his life. I think he's attempting to lose weight now without surgery but he's done that many times already and failed. I want to talk to my cousin about it but I'm conflicted because it's really not my place to stick my nose in their business. But at the same time I feel like she may be misinformed and is causing my uncle more harm than good. What would you all do in this situation? Stay out of it or try to gently nudge them into at least considering the benefits of WLS?

I've lost 27 pounds so far and haven't really heard any comments from anyone. It's hard to notice weight loss on me because in addition to being chunky, I'm also tall, so when the weight comes off it's not as noticeable. I won't expect anyone to say anything to me until I've dropped at least 50 pounds and maybe not even then. It is frustrating because the number keeps dropping on my scale but my clothes don't feel *that* much different. My fat pants (that got too tight right when I had my surgery) are finally starting to feel normal again but I still have to strain to button them up right out of the dryer (why do they always shrink?!) I think people who haven't seen me in a long time notice, though. I ran into an old colleague and she gave me the up and down look while we were talking. Didn't ask me though. And to those who are discouraged: I rarely ask someone about their weight loss unless they bring it up to me. I don't want to embarrass them. I did that on accident when I was in college - my boss was a very big guy (around 500 pounds I'm guessing) and every week he got smaller. I was really impressed and I blurted out "Holy cow, you're losing so much weight! Did you have surgery?" Then he got flustered and changed the subject. Lesson learned, don't be nosy.