needtorecover

@@Bufflehead - Well said!

I always thought I was an emotional eater (since that seems to be the most common issue) but when I really thought about it, my emotions aren't tied to what I'm eating. When I'm sad, stressed, or lonely I stop eating because I'm so focused on the negative emotions and looking for ways to resolve them. I think I have more of a "contented cow" syndrome where I eat when I'm feeling good. I also suffer from a huge appetite. I honestly think that's as deep as it goes with me. When I was hungry I'd feel desperate almost. If I went too long without eating it was torture. Diets never worked because I was always so uncomfortable with eating less. I hated thinking about food all the time, wondering what my next meal would be, feeling distracted at meals because I'd rather be eating than talking... and binges were easily triggered by one taste of a certain food, usually sweets or fried food. I've learned a lot about what caused my weight problem after surgery. I kind of wish I could've gotten a blood panel to see if I had some kind of hormone imbalance. Too much ghrelin and not enough leptin maybe?

@@Inner Surfer Girl I'm a huge research geek and have spent a lot of time reading journal articles about obesity and WLS. Tell me what you're looking for and I'll find it! As for me, my PCP discouraged me from seeking WLS. Said I was too young (late 20's at the time) and that I should seek other options. She recommended the South Beach Diet I asked my OB after I had my baby if she'd recommend bariatric surgery. She said "Why don't you just stick to the gestational diabetes diet? It's not fun but it's worked for you." She said this because I lost weight during my pregnancy by quitting sugar. Yeah, and I was crawling out of my skin with cookie/cake/doughnut cravings. The only thing that stopped me from diving head first into a vat of brownie batter was the fear of giving my son type 1 diabetes. I wasn't going to allow my appetite to hurt my baby. But once that incentive was gone, so was my ability to continue with that wretched diet. The issue with my PCP and OB is they're both rail thin and I don't think either of them has ever had to worry/think about their weight. They probably just think all it takes is a bit of self control, dietary education, and a walking program for the weight to just fall off. If only it were that easy.

How many cc's are in your band already? If you get stuck often it might be too tight... Are you eating a lot of slider foods? From my understanding, for the band to be effective you need to eat slowly and chew well. Personally, I think you should work on changing the way you eat before you get another fill. Get in the habit of following the lap band rules (eat slow, chew very well, small bites, etc.) and then see how you feel. If you find you're still hungry between meals and/or you're able to overeat in one sitting I'd make an appointment to see a doctor. This all should be between you and your doctor - your husband shouldn't have a say in it IMHO. If he's worried about your health, educate him in how the band works and don't scare him by getting stuck (i.e. slow down!). I got stuck once and it made my partner panic, too. It's not fun to see your spouse in pain like that so try to do your part so that doesn't happen and then he'll probably trust your judgment more. Good luck!

I've also noticed little things that I never paid attention to before. I was at the grocery store after work and I'd always get myself a snack to eat on the way home. Like a doughnut, or a corn dog, or small box of California rolls... I told myself I was good and could get a snack and I found myself bouncing from one food item to the next setting it down thinking "No, too sweet... no, too filling... no, too salty..." and ended up just leaving without a snack. Not because I told myself "no" but because I just didn't want anything. Food commercials would set me off too. When I was at the gym last night I was watching a verging-on-pornographic commercial from Taco Bell (you know, lifting the quesadilla so you can see all the stringy cheese while someone is speaking in a husky voice in the background describing it in detail) and I felt nothing. Normally those commercials set me up for obsessive thinking and cause a downward spiral to the point where I stop at the drive thru on my way home and binge on nachos. Nothing. Sorry, off topic, but it's just really interesting to me. It's showing me how deeply the odds have been stacked against me all along. Temptations peppered all over the grocery store, food advertisements designed by people who know exactly what buttons to push, how quick and easy it is to just grab something high in calories... It's no wonder obesity is such a huge problem in our country.

Yes, it was the finger stick test. I think it must be inaccurate because my numbers were abnormally high as well. Not as severe as my partner's but enough that it made me nervous since the results boosted me from "borderline" to "high." I plan to get my numbers re-tested sometime this summer at my doctor's office!

My partner is roughly 75 pounds lighter than me and she did an employee health screening (we get $100 just to participate). Her cholesterol came back as off the charts - literally, and her triglycerides were in the 300's. She was freaking out and the nurse who took her blood told her to make an appointment right away. Well, she had a re-do and all her numbers came back perfect. There was something very wonky about that test. I'd encourage you to get a second opinion from your PCP.

Having a reduced appetite is very new to me - literally. I had my first fill on the 8th and it appears to be doing the trick. It's not just that I can't eat as much as I used to... I also don't want to eat as much as I used to. I thought I would only experience the former (wanting to keep eating but being incapable of continuing) because that's what being full meant to me before. Messed up but true. I'd eat until I felt like I was going to burst and still want to keep eating but only stopped because if I kept going I'd get sick. Now when I have a meal I lose interest halfway through. It's a miracle. To me, it's much easier to make good choices because I get full quickly regardless of what I'm eating. I still think about it a lot but that's probably out of habit. I feel tense, like I'm waiting for the insatiable appetite to return. But the feelings of hopelessness and deprivation are gone. For the first time ever, I can honestly say I don't feel deprived with eating less. That feeling of deprivation is what always derailed my efforts in the past. And I think the deprivation and hopelessness compounded my anxiety around food. I'd feel resentful when I went out to dinner with family/friends and ordered off the "lite" menu when I wanted a big bowl of Fettuccini alfredo. It'll take time to get through the thoughts of "Should I eat this?" or "Does this have too many calories?" or "What's the protein/carb/fat ratio of this food?" But you will want to cry from happiness when you eat a meal and feel full and satisfied from a portion that would have been a snack for you in the past.

I never, ever ask a woman if she's pregnant or say she looks pregnant, ever. My bank teller's belly was sticking out so far her shirt was tented and looked like she was going to pop. Not a word. Not until said woman says something about the baby, at which point I ask questions because they are open to talking about it. As a side note, I was a sad pregnant lady because no one asked me about it because I was too fat to look pregnant. I got excited when some lady asked me about my maternity shirt (because she was looking for something similar for her daughter) and I told her Old Navy has a great maternity clothes selection. Then she said "Oh, I didn't realize you were pregnant! I was just looking for plus-sized clothes for her." *deflated* I had to tell my colleague who saw me every day I was pregnant - when I was 7 months along

Huh... that's something I honestly never thought of. I am lucky and have fantastic insurance so I was covered but I know a lot of people aren't as fortunate. A good friend of mine applied to have surgery but her insurance denied her - which is ludicrous because she was even heavier than me. I think people are starting to finally understand that sustained, dramatic weight loss isn't possible without medical intervention. I don't honestly know which presidential candidate would be better for the obese population... I know Michelle Obama was all about getting kids healthy and making school lunches healthier. Curious to see what others have to say about this!

Why are you snacking? Are people bringing food to work? Is there someone who has a tasty treat on their desk that you can't resist? Is it just something to keep your mouth busy? Or are you actually hungry? If people are bringing food to work, avoid it. If you're the designated "snack girl" who is charged with keeping food on your desk because it's a centralized location, I'd ask a colleague to take over for you because it's causing you problems. If it's a tasty snack on someone's desk, start e-mailing/phoning that person when you need their help to avoid the temptation. If you like busy-food (I do!) then try replacing it with Water or hot tea to sip. I chew gum, too, and that helps. And if the issue is actual hunger, I'd bring a snack to work that's high in Protein (hard boiled egg, nuts, lettuce/turkey/cheese wrap, Greek yogurt, etc.) and plan to eat it when you know you're hungriest (for me that's 3:30-4:00). Hope that helps!

With other morbidly obese friends, it can be hard to deal with jealousy. None of us want to be morbidly obese, and we all know how hard it is to lose weight. When we have this tool and they do not, they may feel resentful because they want their old "eating buddy" back and you just can't eat like that anymore. I'm treating my WLS the same way my brother is treating his alcohol recovery. Feel free to eat/drink in front of me! Just because I'm not doing it doesn't mean I'm judging you or want you to be like me. No one needs to feel like they're tempting me because - gloriously - for the first time in my life, they're not. I think the key is to not make it about you. Don't talk about your new diet all through dinner and focus on the conversation. If your friends have questions just be open and honest. All my friends are very supportive. My extended family has yet to know because I come from a line of people genetically predisposed to obesity. Anytime anyone in my family loses weight, everyone else makes a stink about it. I told one cousin and begged him not to tell his mom, otherwise the whole famdamily will know. I will get questions (and probably accusations) at the next holiday and I'm not looking forward to it but it is what it is.

First, I'm sorry this is happening to you - sounds really terrible. If you just had the surgery a week ago, it's probably going to take some time for it to return to normal. This is just based off what I know of any major change in your body. Infections don't go away when you take the first antibiotic, you're not able to walk right after knee replacement surgery, a broken bone won't heal within days of being set in a cast, etc. I'd give it about a month. I know it sucks to feel like crap but if you think about it the band has been in your body for five years. That's a long time. It'll take a while for it to recover. If after a month you don't feel any better I'd get a second opinion from a gastroenterologist. At that point it's probably beyond the scope of a bariatric surgeon since they don't focus on digestive disorders. I really doubt you'll be like this the rest of your life! Hang in there, it'll get better eventually.

So I had my first fill at 2 cc's. This happened a week ago. The PA told me that I probably wouldn't feel different at all and would need a couple more fills before I noticed any restriction. I have noticed a difference though... and I can't tell if it's like a placebo effect or if it's the band working. Was curious to know how others felt after their first fill or two. I'm definitely hungry between meals (which, from my understanding, you shouldn't be) and am very eager to start in on my next meal when it's time. I eat Breakfast, lunch, an afternoon snack, and dinner. The thing is, I'm full after half a plate. I'm talking a regular sized plate, though, not a salad plate. It's pretty nice since I used to try to make myself stop halfway through a meal and would just get resentful because I'd really want to finish the whole thing but now I lose interest all together and am perfectly fine with putting the rest in the fridge for later. When one hits the green zone, the restriction is more than this, yes? Are lap band patients supposed to be satisfied with half a salad plate's worth of food? Like a half cup? Either way I'm really excited to eat half of what I'm used to eating. The pounds are dropping off and it doesn't even feel like I'm trying that hard. In the past I'd give it my all and not even lose a single ounce. Probably because for the first time in my life I'm capable of sustaining a habit of smaller portion sizes. Even if I'm not 100% there yet, I'm getting there - and I am so, so grateful for this surgery.

Thanks, that is helpful! I'm glad this isn't in my head. I was kind of afraid that was what was going on because in my past efforts I'd swear whatever newfangled weight loss remedy I was using was working soooooooo well and then in a week, bam, I was back to my old ways. I hate false hope. Certainly, I understand everyone's experiences will be different. I know my green will be different from someone else's green - I'm trying to avoid being foolish and asking for 2 more cc's if that will make me sick. I agree, having the band so tight it becomes punitive is not something I want. But I can understand why the man you're referencing would want that. Personally my goal is to live a balanced life. I always told myself living life on a restricted diet is no way to live at all. I took that to the extreme, however, and lived high on the hog (literally) for too long. Rich foods are okay in moderation but I used them as my staples. Not good. I'll talk to my doctor about my restriction and probably take it slow from here on out considering 2 cc's is at least doing something for me.

I'm 33 and got a taste of these ailments myself. My joints are crap. I have a hard time getting up and down from the floor when I play with my son. It's depressing. My cholesterol and BP were both marginal pre-surgery, and I had gestational diabetes when pregnant. That sucked. I also run out of breath quickly and have a hard time keeping up. Didn't have any of these issues in my 20's though - felt fit as a fiddle. I'm hoping I'll feel like I'm in my 20's again when I lose this weight!! That's my goal now. Great health. Life is much more enjoyable when you're feeling good. I just want to feel good again. I don't care about the clothes or social status or anything else... I'm so sick and tired of feeling sick and tired all the time!

This is great - thanks for all your answers! I've enjoyed reading these perspectives. It's interesting to me because many thin folks think obesity is our fault. In a way, yes, it is - we ultimately decide how we eat and what we choose to eat, but few understand the biological drive that keeps us fat. I wish I could find the study to share with you all, but I read that once you lose 5% of your body weight your brain goes into freak-out-mode and secretes a hormone that vastly reduces your ability to resist overeating. Because starvation. I understand the purpose of FA, to humanize obese people, reduce discrimination, and get medical professionals to take our concerns seriously beyond the scale. But at the same time I was really frustrated with my PCP because she wasn't straight with me about my weight. She was like "Oh, you're fine for now. Just try to eat less and move more." This is when my BMI was 40. I asked her about WLS and she said I was much too young and I should try traditional methods of weight loss (that clearly do not work!) a while longer. I knew I was fat. I wanted her to agree with me and help me. She put me on Wellbutrin and said it would help curb my appetite. It sort of worked but only marginally so. CowgirlJane, I agree with your statement about obese folks using medications to "fix" their issues. My aunt is very obese but she thinks she's fine because she takes 15 different pills to keep her systems functional. My goal is to not need ANY medications. So far I've been okay - I'm glad I got the surgery when I did before I needed cholesterol, BP, or diabetes medications. I've been teetering on the edge for a while... it's not good. And I also agree it's hard to get on board with a movement that celebrates obesity. Being obese isn't really something one should be proud of any more than one should be ashamed of it. It just is what it is.

Ah, the post-surgery burps No one warned me about that. Wishing you a comfortable and speedy recovery! Congratulations!

I'm going to Florida in May. I could save money by strapping my kid to my back and dragging my suitcase behind me as I walk down the interstate, you know, to do it the "old fashioned" way but instead I'm going to pay a couple hundred bucks and fly us to Orlando in one hour and 45 minutes. Because that's the easy way out. Just tell anyone who says that to you that weight loss surgery is the only proven way for obese individuals to lose weight and keep it off long-term. You're not taking the easy way out, you're taking the ONLY way out (for the majority of us - there are the 3-5% successful folks who manage to lose 100+ pounds without intervention).

Thanks for the reply - and sorry for the delay in response! Ever since recovery no, I hadn't been following a diet or writing down what I ate... I guess I sort of missed feeling like I could pig out (how messed up is that?) so I kind of went nuts with my over-eating. Counterproductive, I know. I had my first fill (2 cc) on Monday and while "feeling restriction" is wording it strongly, it's definitely slowing me down a little. I can't eat fast (that's a good thing) and I fill up faster on less, but only marginally so. For Breakfast I had a bowl of oatmeal, one whole egg plus one egg white, and a banana and felt satisfied for 3 hours (that's really good for me - pre-band me would get a donut and a coffee after 1.5 hours) and just ate half a Jimmy Johns sandwich and feel pretty full. I could eat more of it but I would be uncomfortable so I stopped. Remarkably I lost a pound between recovery and my first fill. I think it's because I can't eat fast so even though I'm eating as much as I want (and certainly more than I should), I eventually just stop because my stomach registers "full" before I can finish my first helping and start in on my second. It's really gotten me thinking though... like about how I approach a meal. Why couldn't I slow down before? I know it's scientifically proven that if you eat slowly you'll consume fewer calories even if you eat as much as you want. I used to try to make myself slow down before... I'm the kind of person who immediately shoves in a mouthful of food the moment I swallow. And the mouthfuls are large, of course. I did that with a bowl of rice last night and after 3 swallows I could feel a very unpleasant pressure in my lower chest so I slowed down. On the one hand I'm angry with myself for needing negative reinforcement to slow down when I eat. On the other hand I need to be kind to myself because I developed poor eating habits when I was young and I've had problems with food most of my life, so of course it'll be hard to make myself eat slowly. I'm definitely not "green" yet but this is definitely a good start. Thank God for this surgery. I don't think I would ever be able to lose weight without it. It's giving me hope for a healthier future.

It looks like you can stomach blood and gore so I'll suggest The Walking Dead. I'm bouncing on my heels waiting for the next episode!!!

That is so awesome - what a great feeling Congratulations!!

I had Lap Band surgery so my surgeon showed me what it looked like (he had a model stomach and an example Lab Band wrapped around it). Then he demonstrated what an inflated vs. deflated band looked like, went over how he performs the surgery, explained the results I could expect (losing at least 50% of my excess weight - yay!) and told me about the 6 month program I'd have to be on beforehand (nutrition counseling, psychiatric evaluation, exercise counseling, and pre-op appointments). I talked to the insurance ladies, too, and they told me how it would be billed and what I'd expect to pay. My surgeon only does Lap Band surgery and gallbladder removal so I didn't discuss other options. After I'd done my research I decided this was the best method for me.

I have a stack of jeans in a box in my closet sized 20, 18, and 16. I kept gaining weight rapidly when I was a part-time grad student and full-time employee (I used beer, wine, and food as comfort to get through those very hard years). Swore to myself I'd get on a weight loss plan when I was done and fit back into them. They're in perfect condition... looking forward to the days ahead when I can dust off that box and start trying them on again! Congrats! This is inspiring!

That's great! I think sometimes folks are hesitant to ask if you've lost weight because they don't want to come across as rude. I don't mind if people notice I've lost weight - it's pretty obvious I'm an obese lady so weight loss will definitely be noticeable It's only when people say things like "OMG, you're sooooooooo pretty now!" Then I lift an eyebrow and wonder "Sheesh, did you think I was super ugly before or something?" ETA: Several extended family members of mine kept saying how pretty I was after I lost weight as a teenager and it bothered me. I made my parents swear up and down that they wouldn't tell my extended family about my surgery as a result. I'm going to have to prepare myself for the holidays this year...