skmjs

My doc almost cancelled my surgery because I couldn't drive to the hospital 48 hrs before my surgery to take a pregnancy test. (I don't live near the hospital and had unbreakable plans that day, also he never told me it was a requirement to have a pregnancy test appointment exactly 48 hrs before surgery until the day before!)
I was so angry - I'm a married gay woman. I was asking, don't you have a waiver I can sign attesting to the fact that I'm not pregnant? and they had the nerve to say that many women don't know they're pregnant and they have no way of knowing if I'm one of those women. The amount of blank stares I got when I said "I'm GAY. I'm MARRIED to a WOMAN who CANNOT PHYSICALLY GET ME PREGNANT." They ended up making me check into my surgery 6 hours early so i could take a test that morning then sit around all day waiting for the results before they'd operate.
It was so insulting. The nurse was so snippy with me that I started getting a little bit punchy back with her. "I had sex with some men in college. But, I graduated in 2002 so... hmm. I could potentially be about 14 and a half years pregnant." They didn't appreciate that.

My doc almost cancelled my surgery because I couldn't drive to the hospital 48 hrs before my surgery to take a pregnancy test. (I don't live near the hospital and had unbreakable plans that day, also he never told me it was a requirement to have a pregnancy test appointment exactly 48 hrs before surgery until the day before!)
I was so angry - I'm a married gay woman. I was asking, don't you have a waiver I can sign attesting to the fact that I'm not pregnant? and they had the nerve to say that many women don't know they're pregnant and they have no way of knowing if I'm one of those women. The amount of blank stares I got when I said "I'm GAY. I'm MARRIED to a WOMAN who CANNOT PHYSICALLY GET ME PREGNANT." They ended up making me check into my surgery 6 hours early so i could take a test that morning then sit around all day waiting for the results before they'd operate.
It was so insulting. The nurse was so snippy with me that I started getting a little bit punchy back with her. "I had sex with some men in college. But, I graduated in 2002 so... hmm. I could potentially be about 14 and a half years pregnant." They didn't appreciate that.

Best thing I've read here yet...I'm a very very new newbie, just had surgery on 6/21, but I started reading here before I even had a surgery date. You've consistently been the person whose posts I most look forward to, Valentina. No coddling or bs from you, but you're always clear, concise and kind, even when answering questions that must make you want to scream. Everyone likes different deliveries of support and information, yours is just right for me. Thanks for taking the time to interact with those of us who are new to this whole thing, and especially for HEARING us.

Interesting expression. I literally used to ask God, "How can the sun shine? How can everyone just carry on with their lives. Don't they see that I'm dying?. Am I completely invisible?"
I don't know if you are old enough to remember the song with the lyrics, "why do the birds go on singing? -----------------can't they see it's the end of the world?" That is exactly how I felt.
BUT, now here I am--a wee bit slow getting out of the gate, but watch my stride!!!!
Thank you for your words. They actually had me smiling and humming. Thank you ever so much.

Sometimes I believe that one can feel more engaged to advice given by a member who has NOT had such a determined, straight to the finish success journey. Knowing that there are members who stumbled but who were able to overcome and get back on track can be extremely normalizing, and reassuring.
Of course we all want to and need to hear about the success stories, but isn't it also important to see the members who got through to their goals after suffering set backs, battle scars, and still are living a healthier, life?
Today's "newbies" have sooo much to offer. There are new procedures, new methods, new nutritional studies and guidelines. Like most medical procedures and techniques, WLS has changed--for the better in the last few years. In fact is has flipped almost 100% on some topics.
We all can benefit from listening to the newbies. -----really listening---not just reading along---but consider what they have to offer and learning from them.
I'm 5yrs + out and I can still look forward to learning from the well intending members who are actually here to pay it forward and not just trying to exercise "one upmanship" with humor (?) that is off the mark, base and hurtful. At 5yrs out, I don't find myself "supported or advised" by that mentation.
Tough love is still supposed to be "love". There is supposed to be a compassion behind "tough love"----not just mock the poster and "let them fail". If there is no "love" behind "tough love", the advice is moot---the point is lost because being the target of the "jest" becomes "personal".
I feel blessed to have come this far on my WLS journey. Do I wish my personal journey on anyone? No--no one ever!
Do I think I have come through a personal tragedy at the beginning of my WLS journey and maybe --just maybe be able to help one person from having to experience the same? --or God willing, help them to get through it? I hope so.
I've been a member on BP since 2011. Has the sight changed? oh, yeah. It has "circled". More than once. History truly does repeat itself. Veterans stay. Veterans go. Veterans come back. Some---a few never leave. Newbies ask the same questions? sure. They're newbies--are they supposed to ask "old" questions? Those are the same questions the Vets asked when they were newbies. Many Newbies don't stay. Many will leave and come back. Many will become tomorrow's Vets.
There's nothing new or revolutionary about any of it...
The circle goes round and round.

This is exactly what I was looking for when I searched this post!! Thank you so much for the recipe!
As a "newbie" I expected to see lots of healthy alternative recipes and encouragement in this thread. Instead I found some trolls enjoying "middle school humor" at the original poster's expense. SMH
It's so nice to see that there are some helpful people on here. Thanks again!
Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I just had surgery 9/13/16. So I know what it's like to have silly food questions pop up in your mind. This should be a comfortable place to ask these questions. There shouldn't be chicken heads running around making sarcastic comments to people who are asking honest questions.
And if you cackling hens don't like my petty response to your pettiness, all I can say is don't dish it out. I'm done going back and forth with you mean women. I have a pretty fine life outside of this thread.
Best of luck to the original creator of this thread.
Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Don't you think you both are being a bit snobby and judgmental? I certainly do. food has been a problem for MOST of us on here--your no exception, I'm sure! This is a forum for people who need support, not sarcasm and ridicule. Everyone handles this change differently and adjusts differently. She asked a question. I'm sure she wasn't looking for sarcasm or a scolding nor did she deserve one. I feel like I'm in "Mean Girls" the VSG chronicles.
Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

You all know that I stand with shelterdog on this one. There is a difference between sarcasm and bullying. It's clear some here believe this forum is their own and new voices better get in line or not apply.
Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

It's sad that we are a support group/informational group yet we have to worry about what we post because people are rude and ignorant. To the lady that said "geeZe you guys are too nice" and then continued with her condescending judge mental comments, we are all fighting the same battle. What makes you better? Why be ignorant. Didn't your mother ever teach you what to do if you have nothing nice to say? For the most part I've seen such supportive and awesome people on this site. Once in a while I come across the assholes. There really is no reason for it.
Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

My doc almost cancelled my surgery because I couldn't drive to the hospital 48 hrs before my surgery to take a pregnancy test. (I don't live near the hospital and had unbreakable plans that day, also he never told me it was a requirement to have a pregnancy test appointment exactly 48 hrs before surgery until the day before!)
I was so angry - I'm a married gay woman. I was asking, don't you have a waiver I can sign attesting to the fact that I'm not pregnant? and they had the nerve to say that many women don't know they're pregnant and they have no way of knowing if I'm one of those women. The amount of blank stares I got when I said "I'm GAY. I'm MARRIED to a WOMAN who CANNOT PHYSICALLY GET ME PREGNANT." They ended up making me check into my surgery 6 hours early so i could take a test that morning then sit around all day waiting for the results before they'd operate.
It was so insulting. The nurse was so snippy with me that I started getting a little bit punchy back with her. "I had sex with some men in college. But, I graduated in 2002 so... hmm. I could potentially be about 14 and a half years pregnant." They didn't appreciate that.

My doc almost cancelled my surgery because I couldn't drive to the hospital 48 hrs before my surgery to take a pregnancy test. (I don't live near the hospital and had unbreakable plans that day, also he never told me it was a requirement to have a pregnancy test appointment exactly 48 hrs before surgery until the day before!)
I was so angry - I'm a married gay woman. I was asking, don't you have a waiver I can sign attesting to the fact that I'm not pregnant? and they had the nerve to say that many women don't know they're pregnant and they have no way of knowing if I'm one of those women. The amount of blank stares I got when I said "I'm GAY. I'm MARRIED to a WOMAN who CANNOT PHYSICALLY GET ME PREGNANT." They ended up making me check into my surgery 6 hours early so i could take a test that morning then sit around all day waiting for the results before they'd operate.
It was so insulting. The nurse was so snippy with me that I started getting a little bit punchy back with her. "I had sex with some men in college. But, I graduated in 2002 so... hmm. I could potentially be about 14 and a half years pregnant." They didn't appreciate that.

My doc almost cancelled my surgery because I couldn't drive to the hospital 48 hrs before my surgery to take a pregnancy test. (I don't live near the hospital and had unbreakable plans that day, also he never told me it was a requirement to have a pregnancy test appointment exactly 48 hrs before surgery until the day before!)
I was so angry - I'm a married gay woman. I was asking, don't you have a waiver I can sign attesting to the fact that I'm not pregnant? and they had the nerve to say that many women don't know they're pregnant and they have no way of knowing if I'm one of those women. The amount of blank stares I got when I said "I'm GAY. I'm MARRIED to a WOMAN who CANNOT PHYSICALLY GET ME PREGNANT." They ended up making me check into my surgery 6 hours early so i could take a test that morning then sit around all day waiting for the results before they'd operate.
It was so insulting. The nurse was so snippy with me that I started getting a little bit punchy back with her. "I had sex with some men in college. But, I graduated in 2002 so... hmm. I could potentially be about 14 and a half years pregnant." They didn't appreciate that.

My doc almost cancelled my surgery because I couldn't drive to the hospital 48 hrs before my surgery to take a pregnancy test. (I don't live near the hospital and had unbreakable plans that day, also he never told me it was a requirement to have a pregnancy test appointment exactly 48 hrs before surgery until the day before!)
I was so angry - I'm a married gay woman. I was asking, don't you have a waiver I can sign attesting to the fact that I'm not pregnant? and they had the nerve to say that many women don't know they're pregnant and they have no way of knowing if I'm one of those women. The amount of blank stares I got when I said "I'm GAY. I'm MARRIED to a WOMAN who CANNOT PHYSICALLY GET ME PREGNANT." They ended up making me check into my surgery 6 hours early so i could take a test that morning then sit around all day waiting for the results before they'd operate.
It was so insulting. The nurse was so snippy with me that I started getting a little bit punchy back with her. "I had sex with some men in college. But, I graduated in 2002 so... hmm. I could potentially be about 14 and a half years pregnant." They didn't appreciate that.

My doc almost cancelled my surgery because I couldn't drive to the hospital 48 hrs before my surgery to take a pregnancy test. (I don't live near the hospital and had unbreakable plans that day, also he never told me it was a requirement to have a pregnancy test appointment exactly 48 hrs before surgery until the day before!)
I was so angry - I'm a married gay woman. I was asking, don't you have a waiver I can sign attesting to the fact that I'm not pregnant? and they had the nerve to say that many women don't know they're pregnant and they have no way of knowing if I'm one of those women. The amount of blank stares I got when I said "I'm GAY. I'm MARRIED to a WOMAN who CANNOT PHYSICALLY GET ME PREGNANT." They ended up making me check into my surgery 6 hours early so i could take a test that morning then sit around all day waiting for the results before they'd operate.
It was so insulting. The nurse was so snippy with me that I started getting a little bit punchy back with her. "I had sex with some men in college. But, I graduated in 2002 so... hmm. I could potentially be about 14 and a half years pregnant." They didn't appreciate that.

My doc almost cancelled my surgery because I couldn't drive to the hospital 48 hrs before my surgery to take a pregnancy test. (I don't live near the hospital and had unbreakable plans that day, also he never told me it was a requirement to have a pregnancy test appointment exactly 48 hrs before surgery until the day before!)
I was so angry - I'm a married gay woman. I was asking, don't you have a waiver I can sign attesting to the fact that I'm not pregnant? and they had the nerve to say that many women don't know they're pregnant and they have no way of knowing if I'm one of those women. The amount of blank stares I got when I said "I'm GAY. I'm MARRIED to a WOMAN who CANNOT PHYSICALLY GET ME PREGNANT." They ended up making me check into my surgery 6 hours early so i could take a test that morning then sit around all day waiting for the results before they'd operate.
It was so insulting. The nurse was so snippy with me that I started getting a little bit punchy back with her. "I had sex with some men in college. But, I graduated in 2002 so... hmm. I could potentially be about 14 and a half years pregnant." They didn't appreciate that.

Packing for a trip and not having to use my huge suitcase to fit my clothes! Everyone who sees my suitcase for a business trip is always like, "we're only going for 5 days, why'd you pack for a month?!" Uh, I didn't... my clothes are just much bigger than yours and take up more room. And obviously I need at least 2 extra outfits because when you're fat, sometimes your clothes look ok on you one day and make you look like a big fat monster the next day. I look forward to traveling with all my smaller clothes in a suitcase that can fit in the overhead compartment!
While we're on the topic of travel - I can fit in a JetBlue or Virgin seat, though it's not completely comfortable I definitely fit so I plan all my travel around those airlines. I have never gotten an extender because I've always preferred 6 hours of cutting off my circulation over the embarrassment of having to ask for one. I refuse to fly United or the other airlines with the smaller seats and belts. I hate the look you get from everyone when you're getting on the plane, like "please don't sit next to me, oh my god I hope she's not sitting next to me!" I hate the feeling like you can't even rest your arms down because then they take up someone else's space, you have to kind of hold them in this weird position over your stomach so you stay in your own bubble and don't bother the person next to you.
I travel for work a decent amount, and once or twice a year for fun, and I really can't wait for the first time I fly after losing weight. I've been fat for so long, I forget what it's like to go on vacation or a business trip without a serious level of anxiety and self-hate hanging over you because of the flight!

I'd like to reiterate that. Reading post-op threads on BP had me second guessing my decision. But my private FB group which is 92 members currently has given me the utmost confidence in my decision. (I'm getting sleeved on Monday, so I don't have a post-op experience to share but I am also a lifelong anxiety sufferer and panicked for weeks that I'd die while I was under anesthesia.) I'm feeling better and better as I watch each and every person in my FB group post "I'm out of surgery and feeling some pain but otherwise doing great!"
My fear that I never talk about is that I'll chomp down on the breathing tube and break some of my teeth. I am cursed with naturally fragile teeth and I live in fear of breaking or chipping them. I had my pre-op appointment yesterday and the anesthesiologist was like "ok, so let me tell you that it's a possibility. It's highly unlikely but it could happen. Listen, we care about your teeth too and don't want you to have to go from sleeve surgery straight into dental surgery. So we're very careful and it's really, really unlikely. But worst case scenario, you break a tooth, you get it fixed, life goes on. You can't worry about stuff like that." I'm still worried, but I'm betting it's all going to be fine.

I'd like to reiterate that. Reading post-op threads on BP had me second guessing my decision. But my private FB group which is 92 members currently has given me the utmost confidence in my decision. (I'm getting sleeved on Monday, so I don't have a post-op experience to share but I am also a lifelong anxiety sufferer and panicked for weeks that I'd die while I was under anesthesia.) I'm feeling better and better as I watch each and every person in my FB group post "I'm out of surgery and feeling some pain but otherwise doing great!"
My fear that I never talk about is that I'll chomp down on the breathing tube and break some of my teeth. I am cursed with naturally fragile teeth and I live in fear of breaking or chipping them. I had my pre-op appointment yesterday and the anesthesiologist was like "ok, so let me tell you that it's a possibility. It's highly unlikely but it could happen. Listen, we care about your teeth too and don't want you to have to go from sleeve surgery straight into dental surgery. So we're very careful and it's really, really unlikely. But worst case scenario, you break a tooth, you get it fixed, life goes on. You can't worry about stuff like that." I'm still worried, but I'm betting it's all going to be fine.

I'd like to reiterate that. Reading post-op threads on BP had me second guessing my decision. But my private FB group which is 92 members currently has given me the utmost confidence in my decision. (I'm getting sleeved on Monday, so I don't have a post-op experience to share but I am also a lifelong anxiety sufferer and panicked for weeks that I'd die while I was under anesthesia.) I'm feeling better and better as I watch each and every person in my FB group post "I'm out of surgery and feeling some pain but otherwise doing great!"
My fear that I never talk about is that I'll chomp down on the breathing tube and break some of my teeth. I am cursed with naturally fragile teeth and I live in fear of breaking or chipping them. I had my pre-op appointment yesterday and the anesthesiologist was like "ok, so let me tell you that it's a possibility. It's highly unlikely but it could happen. Listen, we care about your teeth too and don't want you to have to go from sleeve surgery straight into dental surgery. So we're very careful and it's really, really unlikely. But worst case scenario, you break a tooth, you get it fixed, life goes on. You can't worry about stuff like that." I'm still worried, but I'm betting it's all going to be fine.

I have a gap/old navy Visa where for every dollar I spend (everywhere), I get rewards points for those stores. I had $60 in rewards expiring a few days ago so I went out and bought some XL stuff (I'm XXL/size 22 now). Didn't go crazy but it's fun to have a few new things - that I didn't have to pay for! - that I can size down into soon. (My surgery is in 5 days.)

I have a gap/old navy Visa where for every dollar I spend (everywhere), I get rewards points for those stores. I had $60 in rewards expiring a few days ago so I went out and bought some XL stuff (I'm XXL/size 22 now). Didn't go crazy but it's fun to have a few new things - that I didn't have to pay for! - that I can size down into soon. (My surgery is in 5 days.)

8/8 for me too, Dr Darius Ameri in Winchester, MA.
I saw him for the first time in October and hoped to have surgery by January, but I went through some really stressful stuff a few months back (chaos surrounding purchasing a fixer upper with a lot of unexpected setbacks, family health issues, unexpected layoff and settling into a new job, etc.) and needed to put the surgery prep on hold to take care of myself. I regret that it took me so long to finish all my pre-op appointments because I was approved less than a week after I completed my paperwork! I could've been 6 months out by now.
Oh well - here we go! Onward and upward.

Whoa there girl...lol...you sound like my inner voice and I'm not even on my pre-op diet yet. I just wanna say BREATHE! You have a lot to be proud of. ANY weight loss at all is a major cause for celebration. You are no doubt gonna have f-up moments even after the surgery, but you can't let it drive you nuts. You're human. We're flawed.
Im gonna confide in y'all (just don't judge me). I've gained 30lbs since I made the decision to have surgery last summer. I mean I GAINED...even thru the 3 months of nutritionist visits. Its been like watching a runaway train...while you're flapping along hanging off the caboose. I've switched surgeons and they don't do things the same. Right now I have to start my 2 week pre-op diet and Im like freaking out, Im thinking what happens if I don't lose anything!?!? Even worse...what happens if I gain again. On top of that worry there's my general surgery worries(what if I don't wake up), after surgery worries(who am I gonna call if I get stuck on the potty), life worries(where is my dog gonna get her French frie fix if Im no longer eating them)...the list goes on and on. The noise gets so loud that I just SCREAM(then I get strange looks from people). But it helps. I calm down I say self your doing what you can, every day is another opportunity for progress, you're making the ultimate sacrifice for a better life for yourself...everything is gonna be alright(then I sing). Lol.
Yeah that was a lot, but really though...don't sweat things that are technically in your rear view. Whatevers happened, has happened. What's going to be is going be. All you can do is attempt to not make the same choices again, and if you do, ehhh its ok the next day is a brand new day!

This is me! I've spent fortunes (plural) over the years with all the times I've had significant weight loss but then the subsequent "gain it all back plus 15 new pounds". I always gave away my fat clothes, until a few years ago when it occurred to me that I always had to buy new clothes every time I failed and it felt like a double fail. I have so many things I can't even stand to look at, things I bought just because nothing else fit and I needed something.
I've got about 40 pairs of jeans right now ranging from size 10 to size 24. I got rid of my 4-8 sizes years ago, figured I'd never get there again and if I did, they'd be so out of date I wouldn't wear them anyway. I haven't been smaller than an 18 in 8 years but I've got some timeless expensive pairs of 10-14's that were barely worn or never worn - I'm pumped to try them all on again!
I already weeded out all the ones with rips, frayed hems, worn down thighs, super stretched waists, and the ones that were out of style or the ones I never liked anyway, about 15 pairs. It felt really liberating!! I can't wait to get rid of more but don't want to go overboard till after surgery next month.
I plan on keeping my largest dress and largest pair of pants just for comparison, and not donating until I'm 2 sizes below just to be safe - like I'll get rid of all my 24's when I'm a 20, all my 22's when I'm an 18, all my 20's when I'm a 16, etc.
I'm exactly 1 month out. Getting so excited. Obviously I think about jeans a lot - I'm guessing I'm not alone here.
Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App