2goldengirl

I'm really sorry you don't have any support at home. Do the best you can and come hang out with us here, we're supportive!

Hang in there. Don't let people try to talk you out of following through on a decision you've made that will mean a healthier future for you and for your daughter. Stick to your guns and do what you need to to take care of yourself, and her. Are your family likely to be supportive?

That may get you in to Mexico. It will not, however, get you back in to the US.

Yes, you need a passport: http://travel.state.gov/content/passports/en/country/mexico.html

Here's my question: Why would the demands of "the guy I'm with" or anybody make your doubt your decision to of yourself by having surgery? You have (I'm certain) done a lot of work to get this far in the process. You've been the kind of patient and persistent that is necessary to get this far. Please don't let anyone derail you now, or at any other point in the process. You are doing this to become a healthier you, which will benefit everyone around you, most especially your daughter. You don't say how old she is, but you are modeling for her taking responsibility for your own health, and, moving forward, living a healthy lifestyle. Based on what you've heard from others here, here is another thought: If this relationship isn't the kind of partnership you want your daughter to have in her future, give some serious thought to the example she is learning from you and your choices. Those of us who struggle with obesity often have trouble choosing life partners, because we feel we have to settle for less than what we deserve. And that isn't true, not for you or any of the rest of us. Every human being deserves a life partner who loves us for who we are, not for what we do (or don't do) for them. Do the best preparation you can for your surgery and your new, healthier you.

With a CA HMO, you start with your PCP. Their office will work with your medical group to get you to a surgeon and facility that takes your insurance.

I'm preop, but I wonder about this myself a lot. I have a friend who was sleeved a little over a year ago. She's lost 150#. I asked her how she dealt with the mind piece of it, and she said that even after a year, she is still a ways from being able to wrap her head around it. I think that part of it is that we've had so much longer for the "I'm fat, etc." messages to sink in, and not nearly enough time for the "whoa! Look at how much smaller I am" to sink in.

Everyone's surgeon has a different set of guidelines. It's pointless to worry about what someone else's doctor tells them, you just pay attention to what your doctor is telling you.

I'm SO GLAD you pulled them aside and told them to cut the crap, and gladder still that your hubs stood up for you not once, but twice. Fabulous choices of yours on both counts. The downside is that the more unperturbed you get about their nasty comments, the more outrageous they are likely to become. You and hubs just keep doing what you're doing, their smacktalk will only hurt them both in the end. Just wait til next Thanksgiving, when you're a year and nine weeks out from your surgery, and totally rocking some cute outfit and collecting compliments. Living well is the best revenge.

I've never heard of your insurance company, but the best way for you to know is to contact your insurer, and ask to speak to a supervisor. Ask the question. You can also ask your surgeon's office to see whether they have been successful getting waiting periods waived.

I'm going to be straight up with you on this, it's understandable that you're tired of your choices on liquids. But here's a fact. You worked hard to get this surgery. Why shoot yourself in the foot so early on? Being bored on liquids for a finite period of time is a drop in the bucket in the overall rest of your life. You're investing in your healthy future. That is worth sticking with the program when it gets, boring, inconvenient, or othewise a PITA. You're worth it. Act like it.

Four months isn't very long for your head to learn the new you. You've had how many years of looking at yourself in the mirror and seeing your "before" self. Your brain has to catch up before you learn to see yourself differently. Are you measuring yourself, say once a month? Something else that can fool you is wearing the same clothes. Have you gone somewhere and tried on clothes, especially clothes that aren't made from stretchy knits or with lots of extra gathers, etc. for "give"? Try on a pair of jeans and a woven shirt and I'll bet you'll be surprised with how much smaller you really are. You've made remarkable progress, own it and be proud!

It also depends on your surgeon's requirements. I has my initial surgeon appt. on 12/22. I need an EGD, for which I need to see a GI specialist first. It was more than a three-week wait just for that appointment. I also need a sleep study, and I have to see a specialist before that can be scheduled. These are requirements by my surgeon, not my insurance.

Put away the scale. Especially in the first month, your body has one objective: healing from the trauma of surgery. Just because you have a few steri-strips on the outside doesn't mean there isn't a lot of healing to be done on the inside. I don't know how many steps you are getting in, but your body has an increased need for protein and calories just to heal from surgery in the first few weeks. It's possible you've started doing too much too soon.

This is why you don't weight yourself every day. First you were feeling great over what it told you, and now you're feeling bummed because it stopped telling you what you want. Give it to your next-door neightbor for a couple weeks, OK?

@@Texas Gal, your profile says you were banded, and it appears that many of your replies were from those who were sleeved or bypassed. Your recovery will be different, and your dietary instructions different. First, something that you don't tolerate on Day 11 isn't necessarily a "never again" for you. You will have to wait and see to find out which foods your body just doesn't like over time. You haven't done anything wrong - you tried something, and your banded tummy told you to back off, so you did. That's how it works, trial and error. Tiny bites, and waiting between bites, can help avoid discomfort, especially this early. Good luck!

This would also be true of the drinks she is allowed that have cocoa powder in them.

Honestly, I think it's because not everyone follows directions and/or reads labels, and they just banned the powder so that nobody tried adding Nestles Quik to their Protein shake. And this would be a rule that I wouldn't follow. Cause I'm a rebel that way. I'm also a healthcare professional, and know enough about how the postop body works to know that there's no more "clumpiness" with cocoa powder than powdered Protein drinks. Humbug.

Abso-flippin'tastic! What will you do to celebrate?

Such a great post! One of the things I ponder as I'm in preop phase is how I'm going to train my brain to see myself differently. I've seen myself as overweight for so long that even when I was much thinner than I am now, I always thought I needed to lose 20 lbs or so. I love that you got validation from unsolicited strangers.

Congratulations and thanks for taking the time to be here and share so well and so often with those of us at the beginning of our journey.

What's your budget? I may get myself a piece of jewelry with a diamond for each 10 lbs I've kissed goodbye. A more affordable option is one of the customizeable lockets with charms inside. You can get crystals in them, plates with "congratulations" or "believe", or even have your surgery dates engraved on the back.

I don't know what you think happens at support groups, but mine, at least, is anything but a complaint-fest. There is always a topic, and the facilitator is either one of the RD's or the LCSW who works with the program. They bring in speakers, including a local plastic surgeon who does post-WLS surgeries. It's worthwhile enough that people drive a considerable distance to attend.