melyssafaye

I'm willing to do some poking around just to see how deep that gutter is If the lovely gentlemen of this forum are telling the truth, at least they have enough to poke a little deeper into the gutter. (Sorry, couldn't help myself)

It's a hard thing to realize, but if it helps, video cameras do make people look fatter. Not extremely, but that's why film actors are so thin but look ok on the screen. So while it may be bad, it's probably not quite as bad as you think.

You may already know this, but if you slice up Qwest chocolate chip bars and bake on cookie sheet, they come out just like Cookies. That might not have been helpful

My surgery date is the 31st. I understand where you are. The liquid diet is awful. Stay strong. I was feeling so weak and hungry yesterday and went to Chinese place and had some egg drop soup. I called my NUT first to ask if it was ok. It's basically chicken broth with egg whites. She said it was ok but not in large amounts. I felt so much better after and slept well for the first time in days. It really helped. I am also worried about regain and failure. I've been through so many diets and had to see the look of disappointment in my family's face as well as my own dismay. I told all this to my surgeon and he assured me that if I just do what he tells me to do, I will be successful. It's once foot in front of the other. The mountain looks huge standing at the bottom, but we can do this!!!

I'm having surgery on 3/31 at University of Illinois Chicago. I've been participating in a research study with the Physical and Occupational Therapist department. They did a battery of blood work and physical endurance testing (not as bad as it sounds) and came up with a workout routine for me. Every week I work out with graduate students as my trainers. During surgery they are going to take a small tissue sample. They believe that exercise prior to bariatric surgery has a huge impact on fat cells and weight loss due to increased metabolism. It's been fun and interesting. They've kicked my butt, but they're also paying me (which is a change). I guess all of that was to say- it's ok to exercise pre surgery and there are professionals who think it helps to make surgery easier and more successful

Why can't you use Truvia? I thought it was just a brand of Stevia. I have been using the baking blend in my tea. It has a tiny bit of real sugar in the mix but calories are something like 5, which is equal to a Crystal Light mix. I'm just curious if you know anything bad about Truvia. I also don't use Splenda or Aspartame. My NUT said no to Xylitol because (according to her) it causes sugar cravings.

I'm sorry you're going through this. Insurance can be complicated and make no sense to us mere mortals..

I'm on the liquid diet right now as well, so I'm right there too. I look at it this way- there are lots of "people" in my head. Not in the multiple personality way but like in the "inside out" way. They are the voices that make up stream of consciousness. Anyway, the person who wants to lose weight and is committed to the liquid diet isn't the same one that is saying that surgery isn't necessary. It's too risky, to permanent and you won't be able to enjoy food ever again. It's the same voice that kicks your butt all the time saying that you're too fat and then once you begin a diet or exercise plan, it tells you that you won't stick to it and that you could just have a splurge. After all, you deserve it. Once you give in, it kicks your butt because you can't stick to anything. Here's the point. That voice doesn't like you and isn't trying to help. It just wants to keep you in the cycle of self hate. Right now, it's freaking out because you're on the verge of taking control. It's pulling out the big guns to stop you. So expect this fear, worry and second thoughts to get worse. Just ignore it. I'm not sure if this makes any sense, but what I find helpful is meditating and listening to the voices just to observe. I have so many hurts from being fat all my life. I try to find who it is that's worried/freaking out and (figuratively) embrace them with compassion and tell the scared little fat girl inside that it's going to be okay. I know it's scary but I'll take care of her and if there comes a time when she needs to freak out, I'll let her know. That seems to help. I know this probably makes no sense. Tl;DR- it will be ok. Stay strong!!

How are you feeling now!

I'm just wondering when was the first time you became aware of being fat. I think we all can remember a moment when you realized that your size was a problem or that you were different from normal weight people. For me, I remember being about 8 and having a teacher tell me that I shouldn't have another piece of cake. I later overheard her talking to a mom who volunteered at our class parties. She told the mom to keep an eye on me because I eat too much and she felt it was her duty to make me lose weight. I was shocked because until that moment, being fat hadn't occurred to me. I just really liked cake. I began my journey at 42, HW 275 CW 252. Surgery date: 3/31/16. I'm just thinking a lot about food issues and my beliefs about my weight. Hoping to get a handle on things before surgery.

I'm not sure if it's at all helpful, but I love the staff at the bariatric clinic at UIC ( now UI Health). Their office is in the Outpatient Center on W Taylor St. They are a tier 1 center of excellence. You might consider checking with them in U of C doesn't work out.

I used to buy clothes at Sears because they had a section called "Pretty Plus" for chubby little girls. This was back in the mid-70's through 80's. Pig noises are the worst!

I think those early incidents have a huge impact on our relationship with food. I was on a diet since I was 10. The Easter Bunny and Santa would leave notes explaining why I couldn't have candy like my sisters got. Teachers were sent notes from home explaining that I wasn't allowed any candy or sweets and orders to supervise my lunches to make sure I wasn't trading carrots for cookies. By middle school I was drinking Optifast in the nurse's office at lunch. It's not surprising that I developed BED when I was in college. I was never super big. I'm 5'6 and maintained at 235-245 ( which is a lot) for a little over 20 years, only gaining 40 lbs over the past few years.

It takes a lot of courage to be honest about wls. I appreciate what you said about the cultural myth. I've been considering this as well. I'm about a week away from surgery and dealing with who to tell. While I value my privacy and feel that health matters are deeply personal ( I never told anyone about my plans for rhinoplasty either), I don't want to be complicit in spreading that myth. It has been the root of my shame since I was 8 and first understood that I was fat. It kills people everyday. I am Southern and have so many family members who are struggling (or have lost their fight) with obesity and diabetes. My uncle, who is a Vietnam Vet, recently lost his leg to it. The war took his eye but diabetes and obesity took his leg. Not once has anyone explained to him that wls would help his diabetes. They just tell him to eat less and exercise more. Even if they had, he would have brushed it off like it was some sort of cosmetic surgery instead of a life saving intervention. But I don't want to get on a rant about how obesity is being treated as a moral failing rather than the disease it is. I want to be honest, and applaud you for it. At the same time, I think it would become exhausting and the every conversation would end up being about surgery. I'm tired of my weight being a topic of discussion.

I understand where you're coming from as I'm also a people pleaser. But, that's what got me in this situation in the first place. Not taking care of myself and using food for comfort while feeding everyone else. It's hard to learn how to put yourself first, even when you're single. Here's what I did- I began asking myself what I would tell my best friend if she had this problem or these concerns. If I can't be as kind to me as I am to a friend, then something is wrong. Also, thinking about the enormity of the journey at the beginning is the very best way to get overwhelmed. Looking at the mountain, it seems impossible. Put your fears on hold. Don't ignore them, just set them aside for a bit and make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon. Then, put one foot in front of the other and do just the next thing. Most people have 6 months of education and medical support prior to surgery. You can always change your mind at some later point in the process. For now, just see what they have to say. I was so overwhelmed and scared at first, worried about all the what ifs. Now, I'm on the liquid diet and surgery is March 31st. I'm not even close to being done but I've changed so much durning the process and have been working hard at regaining my own power. I listen to lots of Mary J these days. Good luck and know that you have all the tools inside of you and trust that whatever you need along the way will be provided to you if and when you need it. You just have to let go. There's an old saying that you can't receive the blessings waiting for you if your hands are full. That's the way God/the universe/whatever you believe in works.

I'm in Elgin (nw burbs). I'm having my sleeve done at UIC on March 31st.

I'm set for March 31st. Started my liquid diet yesterday and so far, so good. My plan calls for 6 packets of Carnation Instant Breakfast No Sugar Added and unlimited broth, sf jello and sf Popsicle. I feel like I'm constantly putting something in my tummy.

At this point, I've been approved for surgery by my insurance company and have a final appointment with my surgeon to go over everything and set the date. I've been going back and forth about whether to tell or not to tell and if so, how much. On one hand telling friends and family is worrisome because of the fear of being judgment harshly for taking the easy way. (Which I know wls isn't easy). However, saying it's just diet and exercise perpetuates the fairy tale that all it takes is eat less/exercise more. They I started thinking- if there were a way that I could be anesthetized and wake up with a perfect body, why wouldn't I take it? If there were an easy way, sign me up!!!! We have a culture that celebrates life hacks and power ups. Why would the easy way be bad?

Oh, I know and I think I said it in my initial post. Weight loss surgery is NOT an easy way out. I've never for a moment thought so. My point was why are we sometimes shamed for "taking the easy way out"? For one thing, it's not easy. But more importantly, what if it was? If that magic pill actually existed, would taking it be wrong? Should I suffer with a headache when I could take Tylenol? I think it's because if overweight people can lose and keep off the weight, judgmental people wouldn't get to feel better about themselves. I guess I just got tired of defending my choice as not being easy. Because honestly, if an easy way were an option, I'd take it in a heartbeat.

Thanks for the replies. I realize that it's nobody's business either way. But what I wonder is this- if there were a magic pill that promised (and delivered) a huge weight loss overnight with no exercise or dieting, why would that be a bad thing? All those diet industry commercials promise to reduce waist size effortlessly and people by them in droves. I think the easy way would be fabulous. Unfortunately, it doesn't exist. But if it did, I'd be first in line!!!

I have a friend who can't recognize faces. It was always a struggle for him because even people he knew well he couldn't recognize. It tends to make people feel insulted or unimportant when you don't say hello or act like they're a stranger when they greet you. Until they said their name, he would have no idea who they were. And not just casual acquaintances but people he had spent a great deal of one on one time with. It was a huge social problem for him but I didn't realize it was an actual, documented problem.

I am in Elgin. My surgeon is Dr. Genjami at UIC. I was with Dr. Elli, but he took a position at Mayo Clinic while I was completing my 6 month program. I don't have a date yet but it should be in early March.

Hi everyone! I just need to vent. I completed me 6 month program Feb 5th and have been getting the last few things together but I'm stuck on the psych eval clearance and so frustrated that it's making me crazy. First, I was on a waiting list to see the Psychiatrist but finally was able to get an appointment on Feb 4th. The doctor required a letter or phone call from the therapist I have been seeing for the past 8 months in order to finalize the clearance. Other than that, she is more than happy to sign off. The problem is with the therapist. I began seeing her at the beginning of this process because I thought that it would be helpful to explore any other issues that might be impacting my weight issues. I was trying to be proactive because, for me, this is a change both physically and mentally. My therapist isn't well informed about wls and I think she has some prejudices about it. I asked her for a letter a week prior to my eval and she said we needed a session just for that. I did that the day before eval. The psychiatrist then contacted her and she didn't respond. I went for my weekly session and asked again. She said she was going out of town for a week and asked if it could wait. I said no. She didn't do it before she left. Now, she's back and claims she is backed up and will get to it in the next few weeks. This is the only thing I'm waiting for in order to submit paperwork to insurance. In the meantime, the psychiatrist won't give clearance and has stated that she wonders if there is a larger issue I'm trying to conceal or if I'm just not willing to follow through. I spoke harshly to my therapist, trying to make her understand how important this is to me. She says that I seem aggressive and perhaps we need to work on my hostility before she would feel comfortable. AAAAACCCCCKKKKKKK!!!! I am a fairly same person with no serious mental health issues but this is making me crazy!!! I need therapy after dealing with these mental health professionals!!! Thanks for listening ????

Actually, she charged me for two visits. One to talk about wls in order to assess for the letter and a second one where I came in to ask why she hadn't done it. I think I will find someone new, but in the meantime I wonder what this will mean for my psych clearance. All I can do at this point is make a follow up appointment with the psychiatrist to find out what we can do without her. If she would just say no and state her reasons, we'd have something to work with. This refusal to communicate is frustrating and feels passive-aggressive. During the appt to talk about wls and the letter she mentioned that she once worked with a mother and daughter, both who had weight issues, but the daughter was severely overweight. The mother was trying to help her daughter with self esteem issues. She said the mother kept telling the daughter that she was beautiful. My therapist had trouble with that because she thought the mother owed it to her daughter to tell her the truth and get help for the weight issue. That's when I knew I had to find someone else. I have a low Bmi and carry my weight well, as a result often people forget that I am a fat girl so they feel comfortable saying thing like this without shame in front of me. I have been overweight my entire life and even Santa and Easter bunny used to leave notes to say I was too fat for candy. I take it personal. I told therapist that probably the reason was that the mother was telling the truth. Beauty has nothing to do with conforming to a size expectation. There are so many people who live to drag down those women who don't fit the standard, the mother doesn't need to tell her daughter that she is fat. The mother should tell her that she is amazing, strong and beautiful. Obesity is a disease and often hereditary. It would be like telling an autistic child that they are defective and won't be acceptable until they get their issues under control. Sorry for the rant...

Thanks for the support! I'm glad you found someone that you can work with. Having a good patient/therapist relationship is so helpful. The psychiatrist recommended herself if I have any issues or need someone to talk to about weight loss or issues that may come up. I think I'm going to take her up on the offer ????