sleepyjean

I have strayed from the Way of the Band, and I am sore afraid. Reader's Digest Version: 1.) I've had major work-related stress over the past month and half, ergo, I eat (like a trucker) 2.) I spent about two weeks blaming it on PMS and eating M&Ms by the bagful. Then I spent another two weeks blaming it on POST-MS and eating more M&Ms. And Nachos. Twice! (make that a FEMALE trucker) 3.) I need a fill, which is thus far taking over a week to schedule and I don't understand why. I have a referral from my PCP, but they won't even let me SCHEDULE the blasted appointment. 4.) Even when I get the fill scheduled, it will be several weeks out. At least two or three. 5.) Therefore, I am also stressing over that, and now eating like TWO girl truckers. 6.) I'm beyond mortified, embarrassed and ashamed to come back here, knowing that I'm not following the rules. I'm eating too much. I'm eating the wrong things. I'm not exercising (In my defense, it's been over 100 degrees here every day for over a week and I have no A/C), I'm eating too much. I've gained 5-10 pounds (I'm guessing), I'm eating too much, I'm not drinking Water, and oh yeah - I'm eating too much. Did I mention that I'm eating too much? What the HELL is wrong with me? I am SO disappointed in myself. I've been banded for over a year. I've been working with a shrink for over a year to develop non-food coping mechanisms. Yet here I am, right back where I started, apparantly having learned NOTHING. I am dealing with the client and project from hell at work and it's really getting to me. I'm stressed, angry and/or depressed pretty much all the time. I'm not sleeping at all. And instead of handling it the right way, I find myself at the grocery store again, almost without even thinking about it. It is truly frightening just how easy it was to fall back into the "Absolutely everything is awful so I shall comfort myself with food" mindset. I went to an Obesity Help convention a couple of weekends ago, looking for inspiration, and it was SO lame. No help there. At this point, the idea of even going back for the fill and getting weighed beforehand is just humiliating. Pardon my French, but I feel like such a g-d failure right now. I only have 25-30 pounds to go. Why am I screwing this up so badly? Help me bandsters. I am in desperate need of counsel, forgiveness, tough love and/or heavy sedation.

I was thinking of doing a colon cleanse to get things moving, but half of my research says colon cleansing is a crock and the other half says is wonderful. In any case, it seems like all of the products are capsules and they're probably huge. And expensive too! I'd like to try it just once, but I don't know... And there's no way I'm getting a colonic. I think it probably feels cool to be completely cleaned out like that, but I just can't fathom paying someone to stick a tube up my bum and watch what comes out of there. (shudder)

I totally respect your opinion, but I also think that there is a misconception among bandsters that those of us who don't tell anyone are ashamed or secretive, or afraid of what other people might say. Though I'm sure that's true for many people, I think there are just as many as myself who don't tell because it's nobody's business but my own. As someone here said, your band is just like your sex life or your financial status. Some things you keep to yourself and it has nothing to do with fear or shame. Some of us are open books and some of us aren't. Another reason why I didn't tell anyone is that I'm trying to get to a point where weight isn't the central focus of my life. It would be hard for me to do that with people bringing it up all of the time.

Oh no! I posted a whole long response this morning and just now realized it's not there. Boo! To be honest, I expected to get a lot of "geez, you haven't seen them in five YEARS and you can't be bothered for five DAYS??" I hadn't expected so much support - thank you so much everyone. It really helped me to calm down. "relative vacations" and "vacation vampires" - I guess this situation isn't all that unusual after all - ha ha! I don't know why I thought no one would understand. I hit the ball back into her court. Sent her an email this morning saying no one more time. This time I didn't give her my reasons since I did that last time and and apparantly none of it sunk in.I told her "no" last time and her response was basically "oh, ha ha, we don't mind. The kids can sleep on the floor." I wanted to say "yes, but I mind!" Last summer it was 90+ degrees in my apartment for days at a time. It was SO uncomfortable. It was the kind of heat that sucks all the energy out of you and all you can do is sit on the couch and think about how hot you are. I can't imagine doing it again this year, with four additional people underfoot, three of them bouncing off the walls. I mentioned a nearby hotel to her last time around, and she ignored that so I guess it's up to her to find a place for them to stay. I took your advice and said I have to work Mon, Tues, Thurs and Fri and probably will not see them on those days, so they might want to stay near Disneyland or someplace where they can find a good inexpensive hotel where there are things for the kids. I'm still suffering horrible guilt over this whole thing, but I'm trying my best to ignore it. Just because they're coming here, it doesn't mean they get to set the agenda. (Or so my shrink says) Nor does it I'm responsible for housing and entertaining them the whole time. Fact is, I'll probably hang out with them on the weekend and on the 4th, but the rest of the time, they're on their own. It feels so mean to say that, but I know if I cave on this, I will be miserable when they are here and will be dreading it every minute until then. Honestly, it's all been such a pain, I'd rather they don't come at all. Vacations should be about spending time with people you enjoy, not this uncomfortable, forced thing. Green - that whole "on-air" thing - I TOTALLY get it. And it's exhausting. AliCat - my hat's off too you. All those people and a wedding too? God bless, girl. That's going to be crazy. Back in college, it was no big deal to crash on someone's floor for a night or two. I kind of feel like as grownups, you need to think ahead and be responsible for your own vacation arrangements. I would never dream of imposing on someone like this unless they invited me. I am tempted to go ahead a book a room for them. Half of me is being small-minded and pissy and thinking "this vacation was your big idea, why should I have to pay for it?" (I have a "real" vacation coming up in August that's going to take a bite out of my wallet.) The other half of me is thinking "what if my sister shows up, kids in tow, and says their hotel arrangements mysteriously fell through?" It's a holiday week, so I'm probably screwed if that happens. I don't know how easy it is to find a hotel over the 4th. I will be SO mad if she tries to manipulate me that way. Grrrr!

Unfortunately, I think depression often causes obesity, not the other way around, so while treating your depression can help you lose weight, I don't think losing weight cures your depression (although it sure can help a whole lot!) I think it has to do with the cause of your depression and your own brain chemistry. Regardless of weight issues, some people go on meds for a short time, then get off them and are fine. Others have to stay on meds for the rest of their lives. It's not something I'm looking forward to, but it's something I can live with. I would LOVE to get off the meds, but I don't know if it's in the cards. I'm taking a lot less meds than before, but whether that will go down to zero remains to be seen. Honestly, at this point, I'm afraid to go off them. I've taken myself off meds twice before and both times, I wound up crashing a few months later and then it takes forever to find the right combo of meds to get me back on track. That "trial and error" period sucks almost as bad as flat out depression.

That's a great idea. I also know obesityhelp.com has several events throughout the year. Maybe we could piggyback on one of those.

My sister and I aren't close at all. I haven't seen her in over 5 years and until a month ago, hadn't spoken to her in about that long. She called me out of the blue and said she wants to bring her kids for a visit over July 4th week. She has three kids, ages 5 - 11. I said I didn't have a problem with that but that I wouldn't be able to have them stay with me. I offered to help her find a hotel nearby for the four of them. She said she'd work out their sleeping arrangements so I emailed her some info about local hotels and activities for kids. So today she leaves me a voicemail say that they were going to stay with her friend, but that fall through and so she wants to know if they can stay with me for 4-5 days. Short of being an absolute bitch, how do I communicate to her that they absolutely cannot stay with me? A little about me: I'm single and live in a small one bedroom apartment. I'm very much a loner and am definitely not a "kid" person. I'm also being treated for depression (therapy, drugs, the whole deal) and have not been having an easy time of things lately in that respect. Basically, when it comes down to it, the idea of having four additional people in my un-air conditioned one bedroom Southern California apartment in the middle of summer is pretty close to my idea of hell. I have to work that week and hate the idea of waking all four of them up and climbing over them to get out the door in the mornings. I don't have enough sheets, towels, bowls, plates, or even chairs for three people, let alone five. I especially hate the idea that there would be no escape for 5+ days. Being around a lot of people stresses me out in a big way. The idea of having that many people around me for that long a time, with no quiet space or privacy whatsoever has me feeling a little panicky. I'm sure everyone will say I'm being a selfish bitch, and maybe I am, but it's how I feel. I've spent half of the day being angry with my sister for asking me about this AGAIN when it took all the courage I had to tell her "no" in the first place. I feel like she's trying to back me into a corner because she doesn't want to pay for a hotel. I spent the other half of the day feeling like the lowest person on the planet for not letting them stay with me. Now I'm just angry with myself because I should be able to handle this for a just a few days, right? Honestly, I don't know how to handle this, so any advice or suggestions would be much appreciated.

I've still got a couple of years to go, but I'm already thinking ahead about PS. My inner thighs are a mess from decades of rubbing together. The skin is darker and the there are spots where I had friction sores. I'm curious to know how other people have dealt with this problem. My thighs have always rubbed together, even when I was at a "normal" weight so I don't expect much improvement when I reach goal. It's seems like there's nothing I can do to improve the texture of the skin. What I'd really like to do is get an inner thigh lift or lipo or whatever it would take to live in a world where my thighs don't touch - or at least don't overlap. Has anyone had this done? What was the procedure/recovery/scarring like? Thanks!

Bravo! That's so awesome!

Excuse me, but I have to vent for a moment. Please bear with me. I heard this guy Kevin Trudeau interviewed on the radio this morning, and even though I KNOW it has be a load of crap, a tiny part of me really wanted to believe. I still get angry with that part of myself, knowing that if I'd never found out about the band, I might've purchased this book. Why not? I actually own a Dr. Phil book. That's how desperate I was at one time. Here's part of the description on Amazon: "The main problems that overweight people deal with are massive, intense, constant physical hunger; food cravings and uncontrollable urges to eat when not hungry; low metabolism; and an abnormally high amount of fat stored in stubborn secure problem areas such as the hips, thighs, buttocks, and waist. This "weight loss cure protocol" has been proven to be virtually 100% successful in correcting these conditions, thus curing the individual of obesity for life! Read the fascinating true story of how this discovery was made and, more importantly, how this miracle weight loss breakthrough has been hidden from the public so that drug companies can make billions of dollars selling their expensive drug treatments and surgical procedures for obesity. You'll be amazed to read how the food manufacturers actually have a financial incentive to make you fat! This is the book that answers all the questions about why people today are continually getting fatter and fatter. The good news is this book gives you the cure that can solve your overweight condition once and for all." Sounds great, right? But it is BS. Read on. This is what one reviewer wrote: ...in Phase 1 you are advised to do such common sense things such as drink Water, walk, eat Breakfast, eat dinner before 6 p.m., eat salads, stay away from artificial sweetners, limit carbonated drinks, no fast food, etc. Also in Phase 1, however you are encouraged to get colonics every other day, use a colon cleanse product (of which he provides the websites for purchasing), take tons of natural/herbal supplements (also providing websites for purchasing), sweat 20 minutes a day in an infrared sauna, get sun, get as many massages as possible, do as many yoga sessions as possible (in addition to walking 1 hour a day, doing mini-trampoline exercising 5-10 minutes 1 or 2 times a day), listen to de-stressing cds (also available to purchase), lift weights (on top of the other activities you should do)... Right after that, are two reviews about how incredible this "cure" is. How can this Trudeau guy just spew all this BS about the new "cure"? How can he say that all those other weight loss programs are crap but his works? The only difference between this and any "sensible weight loss program" is the saunas and the colonics. It's somewhat horrifying that this guy can write a book like this, using himself as proof that it works, and sell it to desperate people who want so much to believe in it. What a scumbag. Gah! I hate, loathe, and despise the diet industry. It's just one scam after another after another after another. Sorry...had to get that off my chest. Thanks for letting me vent. I'm going to go think happy thoughts now.

I’m about 35 pounds away from my goal. No signs of loose skin yet, though I’ve still got plenty of body fat to unload (maybe I have more to lose than I think!) I’m wondering at what stage in this process you begin to see if loose skin is going to be a big problem. I’m kind of hoping that if I don’t have it yet, it’s not going to magically appear in the next 35 pounds. Does the loose skin happen throughout the weight loss, or is it something you don’t notice until you get near your goal? I’m hoping the most surgery I’ll need after this is a little lipo and maybe a tummy tuck, instead of getting my entire body lifted and shifted all over the place.

I'm not sure what you mean by "getting a medical card" do you mean medical insurance? And who was it who told you you couldn't get one? It seems like if you are unemployed for an extended period of time, your income level would qualify you for medicaid or something like that. You've probably looked into that already though. I wish I knew more and could make helpful suggestions. Have you explored opportunities for working from home? I once knew a lady who made money doing medical transcription from home. I don't think she knew anything about medical transcription going into it. They sent her some training materials to get her started. That's one idea, anyway. Good luck to you.

I just heard about this and have been puzzling it over. Putting aside people's individual opinions about the rightness or wrongness of homosexuality (not wanting to start a fight here), why do you think this is? I'm not gay, so I don't know if maybe this is a lifestyle thing or something, but it just seems like a strange connection to me. With everyone in the country getting fatter, it never occurred to me that sexuality might be a factor. On a side note, one of my friends at work is gay and I've noticed that she has gone up a few sizes since meeting her partner last year. I'm sure not going to ask her what's up, though. LOL ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Fri Apr 27, 2007 10:06 PM IST WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Lesbians are twice as likely as heterosexual women to be overweight or obese, which puts them at greater risk for obesity-related health problems and death, U.S. researchers said. The report, published in the American Journal of Public Health, is one of the first large studies to look at obesity among lesbians. Ulrike Boehmer of the Boston University School of Public Health and colleagues looked at a 2002 national survey of almost 6,000 women, and found that lesbians were 2.69 times more likely to be overweight and 2.47 times more likely to be obese. "Lesbians have more than twice the odds of (being) overweight," the authors wrote. This would put them at a higher risk for diabetes and heart disease, among other ailments. "Our findings indicate that lesbian sexual identity is linked to a greater prevalence of overweight and obesity," the authors wrote in the study, released this week. They reviewed smaller studies that have suggested a higher prevalence of obesity among lesbians and the possible reasons why. "The results of these studies indicate that lesbian women have a better body image than do heterosexual women," they wrote. But the authors said they placed little confidence in the idea that lesbians were more muscular than straight women, and thus were more likely to have a high body mass index, or BMI, while having little body fat. High muscle mass is "unlikely to lead to classification as obese," the researchers said. "We reported greater odds of both overweight and obesity in lesbians and we feel confident in asserting that these differences are a result of increased adiposity," the researchers wrote.