sleepyjean

Compared to the pre-band days, I mean. All my (failed) attempts at behavior modification are what got me where I am now. I worry that the band would be a waste of time and expense for me because if I haven’t been able to change my behavior until now, what makes me think it will change if I get banded? The band won’t drag me to the gym. The band won’t stop me if I decide to binge on a ton of high-calorie soft stuff that goes down easy. What has this been like for all of you who are already banded? Is it still a major challenge for you? I’m so gun-shy right now. I want to believe in this, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle yet another failure. This surgery is my last resort, and if go through with it and STILL can’t get my act together, I just don’t know...

I would be very angry too. It's not like your mother had to lie. She could have told SIL to ask YOU that question. You have a right to your feelings and if you don't want to pick up your parents you don't have to (unless they have no other way to get home.) This is the worst kind of situation - when the other person is in the wrong and not only refuses to admit it, but tries to turn it back on you. Having said that, you had to know deep down, that if you told ANYONE at all, you risked everyone else finding out. So if I were you, I'd just say "Mom, I confided in you and I'm upset because you broke my trust. I understand you have a different point of view and that's your prerogative. I know now that it's not always a good idea to share confidential information with you, and I will be careful not to do that in the future." Just tell her the truth. Get it off your chest, and then try to put it behind you.

yay! :-) :-)

Oh geez, something else to look forward to. I keep thinking this isn't *real surgery* like gastric bypass or open heart surgery, but things like this remind me that this is really serious business.

why is it difficult to drink water? Doesn't it just go right through? *confused*

Issue #1 – I’m a borderline case. BMI is 37.7. I have the usual aches and pains that go along with being this size, but no co-morbidities (that I know of). Also, I have a family history of high blood pressure, high cholesterol, cancer, and obesity. Issue #2 – I’m in treatment for depression. Blah blah blah, long story, but it’s been a major contributor to my weight gain – especially in the last 6 months. Yesterday, Dr. switched my meds, hoping the new combo will be more effective. Issue #3 – I have been working with a diet coach/behavior therapist since June. Her m.o. is “Go slow. Focus on changing one bad habit at a time.” Apparantly I'm a lost cause becuase I’ve actually <i>gained</i> 13 pounds since starting with her. @#%&^!! Issue #4 - My physical is on 10/29, so I have a whole month to agonize over all this. The Dilemma: I now find myself in the bizarre position of NOT wanting to lose weight. Has the world gone mad? I feel like I have to hang onto every pound I’ve got because it may make the difference between approved and denied. Meanwhile, I’ve got coach lady encouraging me to exercise, and eat veggies, and at the same time, I’m worried that the new meds might actually work. The problem is, I could lose 10-15 pounds by myself. But the band is the only thing that’s going to help me lose the 90 or so that really need to go. On the one hand, I want to do things that are healthier for myself. On the other hand, if I can gain 10 more pounds, that puts me in a better position to be approved. Ack! What do I do?

Did you self-pay? Because if you're insured and your carrier refuses to cover it, that would be SO wrong.

Karen, you’re right. We’re in the same boat. I’m trying to get insurance to cover it, because then I would only be $500 out of pocket instead of $15,000. I know there’s always the Mexico option and I’m pretty sure I’d get approval, but I don’t have the money. Unfortunately, I don’t have anything I can sell or refinance, and I fear debt like little kids fear the boogie man. It’s almost – but not quite – a phobia. The stress would probably cancel out any health benefits gained from losing weight. Good grief. I was just working it out, if I financed it and went to Mexico; it would take me nine years to pay it all off.

Ok waaaaaaaaaaait a second. Burping? Passing gas? sleeping in a recliner? Woohoo - something to look forward to. Does Gas-X help at all? Seriously - a recliner? The only chairs I own are a pappasan and the wooden chairs in my kitchen. Oy.

(((((((((((((good luck vibes))))))))))))))

It sounds to me like you need to press your mental RESET button. Have you ever tried therapy? A lot of therapists (in my opinion) are useless, but if you can find one you click with, it will really help you change your outlook and get rid of all the self-defeating crap cluttering up your mind. You will get to the root of why you make the choices you make. Only then will you begin to make different, healthier choices. Just a thought.

I know this is going to sound horrible, but if I die, I'm dead, so I have no worries. I'm not married, no children, not close to my family and don't have any real friends to speak of. My only concern is what will happen to my cat and my fish. (I will make provisions for someone at work to come get them if something happens to me. I'm glad I won't be around for that since none of my co-workers will even know I'm having the surgery. *awkward*) However, if I die on the table and my pets wind up suffering or neglected because the hospital didn't notify the right people, I will be really really really pissed off and will probably haunt the surgeon for all eternity.

As a pre-bander who is deathly afraid that I will not be able to change my habits either, I'll just pass on my mantra "If you think you can or think you can't, you're right." Never give up trying. Sometimes the actual "doing" is what gives you the motivation to continue.

Happy Birthday. :-)

I think you do care if she knows because you're spending a certain amount of energy on it. Don't get me wrong, I understand where you're coming from. It's hard when you think other people are talking about you behind your back. (But isn't learning how to deal with that the whole point of high school? LOL) Also, why speculate as to your husband's thoughts and motivations? Why not just ask him? As my old shrink used to tell me, "you need to step back and take a look at this for what it is." You're stressing out because you THINK that at some point in the future, she MIGHT be thinking something bad about you." Worring about something that you have no control over and might not even happen is a great way to make yourself crazy. And if she does find out later, do you really care about her opinion? I bet she wasn't fretting over what YOU would think about HER when she got the surgery. My guess is that her attitude is "I told my story and I'm sticking to it. I don't give a crap what anyone else says/thinks/does." And as someone who doesn't plan to tell a soul about my surgery, I'm right there with her.

LOL, sadly people will always have something to say. Next it will be "you've lost too much weight. You look sick. You're not as nice/accomodating/selfless (insert whatever adjective was convenient for everyone but yourself) since you lost weight."

Wow, that's so awful. I'm glad she was able to go without pain, though.

Okay, so I know I’m obese. And I know the problem has worsened significantly over the past year. But I never seriously considered obesity surgery until recently. After all, surgery is for people “with a real problem” and that’s not me, right? I mean, I’m fat, but I don’t have any of those problems all “those other people” have. I guess at least part of me continued to believe that even as I began researching WLS. Part of me thought, “Well, my BMI is under 40, so it’s not like this is really critical for me. I mean, it’s not like I weigh 2,000 pounds. I’m just sorta checking it out.” Do you know what a “come to Jesus” moment is? Because I just had one. And now I am Scared. To. Death. I just found and read the NIH guidelines on obesity and the conditions that make surgery medically necessary. My BMI is 37, but I didn’t score too well on any of the other indicators. If I don’t have any of the co-morbidities at this point, it’s a miracle. I could easily have all kinds of problems that have gone untreated because I haven’t seen a doctor in over 10 years. In short, I realized I’ve been completely delusional – for YEARS. Y’all I am one of “those other people!!!!” Can someone please talk me down? Because I’m sitting here at my desk, absolutely freaking out but trying not to show it. Not so much because of my condition – now I’m in a panic because what if my health insurance denies me? I have to wait a whole month to find out if my PCP will even refer me to bariatrics for evaluation. And then what if they tell me I have to do a medically sponsored diet or some other crap for a year? I’ve been having some dizzy spells lately. There are only 19 pounds between me and a BMI of 40. What if I’m already dying? I’m ready to run out of the office, grab my credit card, and head for Tijuana. Gah! Sorry. I know I’m being a drama queen, but it was either this or go sit in my car and scream as loud as I can for a solid ten minutes.

Thanks so much everyone. I can't tell you what it meant to me to find this community. Actually, I probably don't have to tell you - right? This is the first time in my life I've ever been around people who really understand what this struggle is like. It makes me sad because if I hadn't felt so alone in this for all these years, I probably wouldn't be as bad off as I am now. But thanks to you guys, I'm looking on the bright side. Patience isn't one of my virtues, but it looks like I'm about to learn.

Wow, you are an enterprising group! Hee hee

I've heard of him, but unfortunately, I can't tell you anything terribly valuable. When I first moved to Los Angeles, I took a temp job at the front desk in surgery at USCUH. They did a lot of different procedures there – the cosmetic stuff was done somewhere else, but where I was working, they did a lot of gastric bypass, orthopedic, heart, and brain procedures. None of the surgeons really spoke to anyone there unless you were in the operating room. They just kind of breezed in, went right into the OR, and breezed back out, so I didn’t get to know any of them. I don’t think I’d even recognize Dr. K on the street because I only ever saw him with a surgical mask over his face. Dr. K does a LOT of bariatric surgery – several of them each week when I was working there. He’s one of the best and could probably do them in his sleep. He was a quiet guy, very professional and willing to explain things to the residents. (A couple of the other surgeons over there were absolute nightmares. One was verbally abusive to the nurses and techs and another guy would absolutely freak if anyone spoke at all during his procedures. The only voice he wanted to hear was his own. The residents had to stand back and watch, they couldn’t ask questions or anything.) One of the great things I liked about working there is they let me go in and watch some of the procedures, and I got to see Dr. K do two laparoscopic gastric bypass operations. It was totally cool! USC is a teaching hospital, so there is likelihood that there will be observers in the room during your surgery. I’m not saying that to freak you out, but just as an FYI. In any case, I never saw the person being operated on. They get you in there, on the table, prepped, and knocked out before any observers can go in, so by the time people like me get in there, all we can see of you is the opening in the sheet where the doctors are working. I never saw anyone’s face and never saw anyone naked. Also, the only other observers in there were surgical residents. I was the only one who clearly had no purpose in being there except personal interest. (And they only started letting me in once they noticed me hanging around outside the OR trying to see the tv screens for the laparoscopic procedures.) So in case I’ve freaked you out, you needn’t worry about having a boatload of strangers gawking at you while you’re on the table. Anyway, if you’re going with Dr. Katkhouda (Kat KOO duh), you’re in good hands. The man’s got a lot of experience.

Woo....freaky. Are we the same person? I just joined the group too. I also recently turned 31, my BMI is 37, I am concerned about having borderline eligibility, and am waiting to meet with my PCP to talk about it. I don't have PCOS or any children, but close enough, right? Maybe we'll get through this at the same time. My current issue is that I can't get in to see my PCP until December. It's only been a week since I made the appointment, and I'm already about to tear my hair out from impatience. Lucky you gets to go soon. Let us know how it goes.

Thanks you guys. It's just nice to have a place where people understand. Now that I've decided to pursue this seriously, I want to get started! It's killing me, knowing that I have to wait 2.5 months just to get a physical. Then, whether I'm approved or not, there's even more waiting - either while I'm gaining even more weight, or because I know I'll have to go through the whole medically-supervised diet thing. When I think about how long this whole process will take, it's so discouraging. It's like being homeless your whole life and someone gives you a palace to live in - only you have to wait two years for the key to the front door! *bummed* I come here and read about how everyone is doing and I'm envious. I'm so sick of being caught in the diet/binge cycle. I just want to get on with the rest of my life, you know? Not that I think getting banded will turn me into a whole new person. I just desperately need to believe that success is possible. It certainly doesn't seem like it right now. I kind of feel like a ticking time bomb. [exit drama queen, stage left]

I am brand new to this community and haven't even been to the doctor to find out if I'm even eligible, but I know that if/when I get banded, I'm not going to tell anyone. It's nobody's business but my own. But I tend to keep personal things to myself anyway. I'm the one living in this body and it's a decision I have to make on my own. I don't need other people's opinions cluttering up my mind.