sleepyjean

What causes someone to be a slow loser? Is it a metabolism thing?

I had a physical on Tuesday to get a referral to a surgeon and find out if I had any “ammo” that I could put on my medical history. My doctor is a 1st year resident and she said she’d give me a referral, but when she consulted with the attending physician he said no. We made a deal that I would give it three months and then we’d talk about it again. In the meantime, I’ve been directed to exercise three times a week and I have to go back and see her once a month so she can check on my progress. I also found out that – except for the obesity thing – I am in perfect health. No pre-indicators of heart disease, high cholesterol, apnea, high blood pressure, etc. In fact, my blood pressure is *lower* than most people’s. I am 31, 5’6” and I weigh 233. My goal is 140. (That may seem like a low weight, but I have a smallish frame. At that size, I was a comfortable size 10 and by no means “skinny.”) I don’t know what to do. Should I *try* to lose weight in the next three months or not? I bet I could lose 10 pounds in 3 months. But that would push me further away from eligibility for the surgery. Part of me thinks I should say screw it and try to gain another 10 pounds or so. But that’s so…I don’t know…dishonest. What would you do? SJ

That's it EXACTLY. You hit it right on the head. Maybe there are people out there who wake up one day and say "oh dear, I'm obese. When did that happen? I guess I'll have that surgery because I just can't be bothered to exercise and watch what I eat." Maybe there are people who look at the surgery as an easy fix, but they're the exception, not the rule. Is there *anyone* here who hasn't tried a million diets? Anyone who doesn't know that an apple is better for you than a Big Mac? Anyone who hasn't dieted their way into larger and larger sizes? I guess the doctors have to do their due diligence, but I can't think of anything less helpful than a pat on the head and a lecture about trying harder.

I'm on the same page with you. I have dieted down to 135 twice, and both times, I immediately began regaining the weight. I guess that's a big reason why I'm so frustrated. I know I can't keep it off. And knowing that makes it even harder to motivate myself to even try. It takes a lot of willpower to lose that much weight. Unfortunately, it's hard to have willpower in the absence of hope (sigh)

I went to my physical on Tuesday, intending to leave with a referral to UCLA bariatrics. I also wanted to find out if I have any issues related to high cholesterol, diabetes, etc. I don’t have the lab results back yet, but I found out that my BP is lower than normal, so that’s not going to be an issue I can document on my surgery evaluation form. The doctor (a first year resident) said she’d give me a referral, but then her attending doc vetoed it. Basically, I have to “try” to lose weight and I have to see the doctor once a month at least until the end of the year. I actually don’t feel too badly about that because that same day I got a packet from UCLA saying I have to have documented proof of failure on a doctor-supervised program (which I currently do not have). I figured I’d wait until the end of the year, and then apply for the surgery. Meanwhile, she gave me the whole “the surgery won’t guarantee that you’ll lose weight” talk. I understand that. But it *will* keep me from bingeing and since that’s my main problem, I think I’d do just fine. At the same time, the shrink changed up my antidepressants and I’m feeling a lot better. So when the doctor asked me to give her three months and just try to lose some weight, I was all “Hey, I bet I can do this!” Well…now I’ve had a couple of days to think about it. I’ve been down this road before. In the past, the meds have worked for a little while, and I become able to function a little better and lose some weight. But then the meds stop working and I wind up bingeing and gaining all the weight back and then some. So I feel great now, but I don’t expect it to last. The past is the best predictor of the future, right? I have no doubt that I could lose ten pounds. But losing ten pounds does not require as much as losing 90 pounds. Losing 90 pounds means sticking to it for months before you begin to notice even a little change and that’s when the motivation fails me. I’m already a borderline case. Losing even ten pounds could get me denied, and then where will I be? A “mere” 80 pounds overweight. Still obese. Still miserable about it, but not quite miserable enough, apparently. I don’t know what to do. Do I try to lose weight, or do I wait it out (no pun intended)? On one hand, of course I don’t really *want* to have surgery if it’s not absolutely necessary. But on the other, I just don’t think I have it in me to go through this cycle of failure again, and I feel that I’ve already wasted enough of my life with this struggle. I’m tired of doing this to myself, you know? So if anyone has any insight to share, I’d really appreciate it. Thanks, SJ

Hi everyone, I’m new to the group. ffice:office" /><O:p></O:p> A little about me: I just turned 31 two weeks ago, but I don’t “feel” 31. I’m sure everyone says that! I’m not married, I live alone, no children, and I watch a lot of cartoons on Nickelodeon. It’s a clear case of arrested development. <O:p></O:p> I’m somewhere between 5’6” and 5’7”, depending on who’s doing the measuring, and I weigh at least 230 pounds, possibly more. I weighed myself in June and I was at 217 and I can tell I’ve gained some weight since then. I’m guessing my BMI is around 37. I’m afraid to weigh myself and find out for sure, because I fear it will trigger a feeling of complete hopelessness and the binge to end all binges. <O:p></O:p> I’d always shied away from any kind of medical stuff. I haven’t had a physical in over 10 years because it was always such a terrifying experience when I was a little kid. I screwed up my courage and gave blood last month and while I’m glad I did it, it was a horrifying experience and not one I’m likely to repeat. The idea of gastric bypass scares the crap out of me. And I worry about scarring because I’ve had keloids in the past. But then I started reading about the lap band and am thinking this might be an option for me. For the first time in my life, the pain of living my life in this body has overpowered my abject fear of all things medical and any concern I ever had about scarring. (It’s actually kind of funny, I temped in the surgical wing of a hospital for about 4 months. It was fascinating. They let me go in to watch many of the operations. I saw 5 or 6 gastric bypass operations, knee surgeries, even one brain surgery. And I wasn’t squeamish at all. But that’s because it wasn’t ME. The thought of ME lying on that table makes me feel ill.) <O:p></O:p> I haven’t been obese my whole life. I started out chubby – always about 10-15 pounds overweight. I remember having a 30 inch waist when I was 11 years old. But I didn’t become obese until my mid 20s. My entire adult life, my weight has always been on the way up or on the way down. I’ve never been able to maintain my weight at any level. I’ve dieted and I’ve succeeded, but I’ve always done what I swore I’d never do – I gained the weight back (and then some.) My most recent attempt was in 2002, when I joined weight watchers (again) and dieted down to 138. It didn’t last, of course. And at that weight, I was still a little chubby. That makes me think that I must have a small frame and probably my ideal weight is around 130 or so. Anyway, my point…and I’m getting to it, I promise – is that in my mind I’m about 100 pounds overweight. Like a lot of you, I’m sure, I remember certain events by what I weighed at the time. 172 when I started college. 154 when I graduated. 135 after my first semester in grad school. (That was the exercise 90 minutes a day and eat nothing but two bagels and a can of tuna for the entire day phase.) 165 a year later when I was in my friend’s wedding. 173 after a year on my first job 154 after freaking out about the above and joining weight watchers It went on and on until I joined weight watchers again at 220 pounds and lost 70. That was in 2002. Since then, it’s been a steady climb upwards. The weight gain has actually accelerated in the last year. When I finally quit the rip-off personal training place, I was at 182. That was this past January. And look at me now. I’m scared to death. Why even bother trying to lose weight if in the end, I’ll only be heavier? I don’t think I can handle failing again. Feeling like a loser again. Busting out of my clothes again. <O:p></O:p> I’ve been researching the heck out of this lap band thing. I originally thought it made you lose weight simply because you can’t eat as much. After reading up on it, I’ve learned that I will still have to change my lifestyle and eating habits. Three small meals a day. No liquids before, during, or after meals. Exercise is required. I’ll have to chew my food into mush before I swallow and I won’t be able to eat solids for a month after the surgery. Also, I learned that there are ways to cheat and get more food down the hatch. Part of me is thinking that if I were capable of making these changes, I wouldn’t need the surgery. The other part of me is thinking that the surgery would be an extremely important tool to help me get where I need to go. And surgery would give me something I haven’t had in a long time: HOPE. <O:p></O:p> I have Healthnet for my insurance and they cover the lap-band. I would only have to pay about $500. My worry is that I won’t qualify for the procedure because I’m not quite big enough, haven’t been obese long enough, and don’t have a medical history of co-morbidities. My position is that the surgery is inevitable, because if I don’t do something, I will continue to gain weight. But I doubt my saying so will get me approved for the surgery. <O:p></O:p> Healthnet told me the first thing I need to do is get a physical, so I scheduled an appointment. The bad news is – the Dr. can’t see me until Dec. 12. I was really hoping to get moving on this. I belong to the UCLA Santa Monica medical group and they have a ton of residents there. I could probably get in to see one of them in the next couple of weeks. But I’ve researched my PCP. I don’t know anything about any of the residents and since this is the first time I’m seeing a doctor in over a decade and I’m going to ask this person to refer me to bariatrics, I want someone who knows what she is doing. I’m sure first and second year doctors are fine, but…no. Am I being crazy? Should I just see one of the residents and get this show on the road? <O:p></O:p> But back to qualifying…I did some research and the rule is you have to have a BMI of 40 or a BMI of 35 plus co-morbidities. I don’t know if the co-morbidity thing will fly. First off, I have nothing documented, and secondly, I’m pretty sure I don’t have any of the biggies: diabetes, sleep apnea, etc. I read somewhere that depression counts, and I’ve been battling that with different doctors over the past 8 or so years. I’ve also got pain in my back and knees. I’ve started getting dizzy sometimes. I start perspiring at the drop of a hat and I’m get out of breath easily. I get really bad chafing and welts on my inner thighs. I have a welt right now that hurts so bad, it’s hard to walk. <O:p></O:p> Since the age of 18, I’ve seen two nutritionists, joined weight watchers 3 times (or was it four?), tried the lemonade fast, tried Trim-Spa (with and without ephedra) seen a therapist, been on anti-depressants, tried the “eat sensibly” thing which, if I could do that, I wouldn’t have this problem in the first place. I’ve had a gym membership for 10 years and have actually used it. I’ve done the 90 minutes of exercise every day thing. I even tried to make myself vomit, but I just couldn’t seem to make it happen. (And believe me I’ve tried.) Last year, I got ripped off for $5000 by a personal training company, and I’m still recovering from that financially. Right now, I’m working with a diet coach who is trying to help me by having me take very small baby steps that focus on changing my habits and my lifestyle rather than just losing weight. I’ve been working with her for about three months now. I’m now drinking 70+ oz of Water every day and I’ve given up fast food, but I just eat other crap so it hasn’t affected my weight. <O:p></O:p> Overweight and obesity run in my family (no one looks morbidly obese to me, but a lot of us are fat in my family.) My father has high blood pressure and had prostate cancer. My mother has high cholesterol. I never knew any of my grandparents, but I know two of them had cancer. Is that enough, do you think? I feel horrible asking that question, but I’m trying to figure out what I need to say to the doctor. The other thing I’m worried about is I don’t have a support system at all. I’m not close to my family at all, and they all live thousands of miles away. I moved here to ffice:smarttags" /><?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com<ST1:place w:st="on">Los Angeles</ST1:place></st1:City> in 2002 and haven’t made any friends. I’ve been too busy hiding away in my apartment, feeling ashamed. The only social interactions I have are with the people at work. Yes it’s lonely and it sucks, but I’m pretty used to it. I wonder if my lack of a support network will factor into the decision to approve my application for the surgery. <O:p></O:p> I guess it would help if anyone could maybe tell me about your journey – what your experience was and how you got through it. And maybe you guys will have some advice to pass on. Be brutally honest. Should I just forget this whole thing until I clearly qualify for it? Was it hard for you to change your eating habits? Has anyone gained the weight back? Is it possible to lose weight and be “normal” sized, or will the formerly obese always be a little chubby? Anyone have a problem with excess skin? Do you know of anyone the lap band did NOT work for? Is there anything I should say to the doctor when I see her? <O:p></O:p> I don’t know what to do. I just know that I’m extremely unhappy, I’m nervous as all get out, I don’t have anyone to talk to about this, and I don’t know what to do or which way to go… <O:p></O:p> Ugh. This is so depressing. What I wouldn’t give for one day – 24 solid hours – when I don’t have to think about food or my weight. I just want to get on with my life. <O:p></O:p> <O:p></O:p>Thanks, all. I know this was super long. <O:p></O:p> SJ

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, what's the deal not eating the membranes on citrus fruits. Does that mean you can't eat oranges at all? That would suck.

They come in sizes???? Learn something new every day.

As I've said before, I plan to tell no one. But the more I think about it, it seems like I'm at least going to have to tell my boss something. I could get a week off for the surgery and call it a vacation. But if I'm accepted into the program, that'll mean several office visits for different things. I'm not sure how to get around it. If I tell her I'm having surgery, then she will understand why I keep taking an hour off here and there. I don't want to lie outright, but I also don't want to tell her what the surgery is for. I can't think of what to say. Anyone have any suggestions?

Ok, you've given me some hope. I feel a little better now. :-) I'm still nervous about having a physical today, though.

I’m just wondering. Because for the past week, I’ve been going on and on about waiting forever to get a referral from my PCP so I can get the evaluation process started. “Waiting is horrible,” I said. “I can’t stand it,” I said. “This SUCKS,” I said. I spent all weekend agonizing over it. So this morning, I decided to call my health ins. and get some more info. The guy I spoke to said I’d have to be screened by UCLA bariatrics and UCLA would make the yes/no decision – not Healthnet. However, the guy on the phone was a nice man who struggled a bit with his English (he said the requirement is a 40kg BMI, LOL), so I won’t take it as Gospel, but it sounds like that’s one less obstacle to deal with. Then, feeling upbeat, I decided to call the PCP’s office and see if I could get on a waiting list for the next available female physician. (I hate calling there because the guy who answers the phone is a real jackass.) This time, a lady answered the phone and – miracle of miracles – they have an opening tomorrow. TOMORROW. MANANA. MORGEN. DEMAIN. OMORROW-TAY. I actually jumped up and down and said wahoo. …And then I remembered that doctors, hospitals, needles, etc. terrify me. So now I’m busy thinking about that. Tomorrow afternoon, I’ll be lying on a table like a mackerel on a platter, covered only by an oversized napkin, with some total stranger poking and prodding my big old nekkid bod and jabbing me with sharp needles in places I’d prefer they not go. I begin to see why head shrinkers and support groups are an integral part of this process…

My first thought was "eeeeewww." But $5 says If I get banded, I'll do the same thing.

((((((((((good luck vibes)))))))))

awesome awesome awesome!

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. :-(

I can't believe your insurance won't cover it. Did they cover the original surgery, or did you self-pay?

yay!!!! :-)

Tom Petty had it right when he said "the waiting is the hardest part." I just joined this group and have mostly stayed in the general discussion forum. Everyone there has been so helpful with answering all of my questions, but I can't help but envy them all. It seems like the waiting will be forever - I can't even get in to see my PCP until the end of the month! After that, heaven only knows how long it will take to get the paperwork submitted. And though I'm trying to keep a positive attitude, I can't help but think I'm going to be denied or they'll tell me I have to do a diet for two years or something. More waiting. Ugh. And if - after years of carrying around an extra 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90 pounds - someone actually tells me that I'm not big enough for the surgery, my head will probably explode. I just wish I could see into the future and know if I get rejected or not. Then I could go on with my life. But for now, I feel like I'm in this sucky holding pattern. Though I'm incredibly happy for everyone making the changes in their lives, it's hard to watch them all move forward while I'm left behind. Does that make any sense? Is anyone else having the same feelings? Has anyone figured out how to deal with them?

At work yes, but apparently fooling around online instead of doing actual work! Good to know I’m not the only one, LOL I’m a software project implementation manager

I know this is a personal question, but thought I'd throw it out there for those who don’t mind answering. I’m a borderline case. If my insurance company approves my application, everything will be covered except for $500. If they don’t approve my application I may consider going to Dr. Ortiz or Dr. Kuri in Mexico. Even though the Mexico option is much less expensive than self-pay here in the states, it’s still a lot of money to me. (Particularly since I got ripped off by a “personal training/total fitness company” and lost most of my savings. Still recovering financially. Grrrr…) I don’t know where I would get $10,000 from for the surgery. For those who’ve had to get a little creative to find ways to pay for the surgery, I’d love to hear how you did it. I’m looking for ideas. If I thought it would actually work, maybe I’d put up a website asking for donations. Thanks SJ

I'm reading through these boards (and doing some research on my own) and when I come across things like catheter, endscopy, and barium swallow I get a little freaked out. It would really help if somone would walk me through the tests and things you have to go through to get evaluated and prepped for surgery, so I know what to expect. So for those who are banded, what medical tests did you have to do (x-rays, blood tests, etc) beforehand? And then on the actual day of surgery, what do you have to do? Does the surgeon draw lines on your belly? Do they stick a bunch of needles in you? They pump you full of gas? Is there an enema involved? *shudder* Give it to me straight. I'm prepared to be horrified, but it's got to be better than what I'm imagining!

That looks like a lot of blood tests. *faints*

I'm Albert Einstein and Apocalypse Now.

Does anyone here have any experience with healthnet insurance and/or the lap-band program at UCLA? They have a great website, (http://www.uclabariatrics.mednet.ucla.edu) but when I read their requirements, it looks pretty dim for me. Did anyone get banded there? *bummed*