sleepyjean

Whenever I have to see a new doctor or a new shrink I always dread the inevitable question about my “support system.” Fact is, my support system is me, myself, and I. I have no family nearby (thank goodness!) and haven’t made any friends since I moved here three years ago. So I always tell the doctor the only time I’m around other people is when I’m at work. The rest of the time, I’m at home with my cat, and that’s just fine with me. Then I get the inevitable lecture about how I need to “get out there” and “meet new people.” As if it’s that easy. I always say that my cat is pretty good company. Better than most people I know. My cat doesn’t care what I look like or how much I weigh. I’d probably be really lonely without him. I know lots of people are just as isolated as I am and I wonder if obese people are more likely to have pets than other people. Do you have any pets? (Children do not count)

I'm no expert, but my understanding is the surgery itself may be more dangerous if you are a smoker. I haven't heard about it being particularly dangerous after you've been banded.

Two Words: Liquid Tylenol. When you're sick, it's the nectar of the gods

I've been reading where a lot of programs require you to lose some weight before you can get banded. I'm wondering if it's just an arbitrary number of pounds to show you are committed or if it's a % of your body weight or something.

This is completely unrelated, but the new season of Project Runway debuted last week and one of the designers made a dress so short the model's butt was hanging out the back. She had cellulite! I thought that was just something thin people say, like when they gain 2 pounds and moan over how "fat" they are.

Bon voyage! Have a great trip. (and an uneventful surgery) :-)

I can definitely relate to this. I have been very lonely too. In the past, I have had friends who are thin and beautiful. None of them ever gave any indication that my weight mattered to them. But I let those friendships fade away as I got bigger. Being alone is so much easier than being "the fat girl" in the group, or the invisible girl who watches everyone else's purses while they're out on the dance floor. I also think being around people is just a constant reminder of how different I am from them. Sometimes I don't even feel human. There's nothing like standing next to someone who weights 100 lbs to make you feel like a gigantasaurus rex. And instead of inspiring me to lose weight, it makes the situation seem hopeless. And the fact that I have NO clothes that fit properly may seem like a lame excuse for not "getting out there" and being social, but it has actually been a big deal for me. Can anyone relate? I have tons of clothes. However, the only things that fit are three skirts, a pair of pants and 6 or 7 t-shirts - all exactly the same but in different colors from Lane Bryant. At home, I wear a pair of maternity shorts. That's all I have. I'm under dressed for work and over dressed for everything else. Hiking? no. The beach? No. Clubbing? No. Exercising? No. It's very limiting. I feel stupid just walking around the mall (not that I ever go there anymore) in my work clothes.

I don't think this community necessarily represents the entire banded community. This forum is most likely to have people who: a)are about to be banded b)were just banded recently and are still adjusting c)are banded having big problems As someone here once said, most of the people who are banded and doing just fine are off living their lives. It may seem like everyone is having problems and I think that's just because the people who aren't having problems/questions aren't here.

I found out on Monday that my company is switching to Blue Cross from Healthnet. I was pursuing the band at UCLA but they don't do banding anymore. So I'm back to square one. The company has only given us until Thursday to get our paperwork in and I am tearing my hair out. I can't find another medical group that offers banding. I have to choose between HMO or PPO and I need help understanding the PPO stuff. I'm trying to figure out if I go with the PPO, what I'd be looking at cost-wise for banding. I know what a deductible is and the annual out of pocket max, but I don't all the stuff with the percentages and how that applies to the out of pocket max. Are those percentages something that I'd have to pay on top of everything else? Does anyone understand this stuff? Wah! Here is the information they gave me. annual deductible - $500 out of pocket maximum - $4,000 office visits - $30 copay for 12 visits (after 12, it becomes 45% of the negotiated fee) other professional services (diagnostic, labs, xrays) 30% of negotiated fee after annual deductible hospital inpatient facility services - 30% of negotiated fee after annual deductible hospital inpatient professional services (physician, anesthesia,etc.) - 30% of negotiated fee after annual deductible

Thanks so much you guys! If I went through my HMO, I'd only have to pay $250, but what's the point of that if I can't find anyone to do the surgery? I think I can suck it up and pay the $4000, I was just really afraid of getting hit with unexpected costs. $4000 is a lot of money, but I can put it away in flex spending and it's a tax deduction too I think. One more quick question: we haven't received the info on the flex spending program. How does that usually work? Do you set aside a lump sum or is it a deduction each pay period? I want to have the surgery in Jan or Feb and I won't have that much set aside by then.

**update**You can read the whole saga below, but anyway, I just found out that yes indeedy UCLA has discontinued the lap-band surgical procedure due to the “poor success rates and expensive after care.” (????) They just haven’t gotten around to updating their info packets or website to reflect the change. Sheesh. I asked the insurance guy if I choose to keep UCLA as my medical group, could they refer me somewhere outside of the group where they still do banding. He said they don’t do that kind of referral and I’d have to file a grievance if I wanted it. I wanted to argue with him - I mean, what if I needed brain surgery and my medical group didn’t include a brain surgeon? Would they just let me die? – But I left it alone. So now I have to find a new Blue Cross HMO provider by Thursday. They sure don’t make it easy! I’m having to go through every single medical group in the directory and look them up on the web and see if they’ve got a bariatric program. Good grief – what next?** I’ve been keeping track of how this whole process unfolds, so I can look back a year from now and laugh and laugh (because it’s definitely not going to seem funny until then!) So far, it has taken ten weeks just to get a referral. Next, I have to send in a questionnaire, the referral, and proof of insurance. Then they’ll need three more weeks to decide if I’m worthy enough to speak to the program director. And what comes after that? I expect I'll have to walk across a pit of flaming coals? I was all set to fax my paperwork this morning, then I found out that my employer is changing our insurance carrier from healthnet to blue cross, effective Jan 1, 2006. But I also found out that I will be able to keep my same PCP and medical group (UCLA). I called UCLA to find out if I could go ahead and send my paperwork in or if I have to wait until the official switch to Blue Cross. This is where the real fun began. *ring ring* Press 1 if you need to schedule a post-op appointment. Press 2 if you want information about the program or the status of your authorization. Press 3 if you are a patient in the program and want to leave a message for the staff Press 4 for directions to the center Press 5 for a list of education classes and locations Press 6 if you are a doctor or are calling from an insurance provider. You’d pick option 2, wouldn't you? But you'd be WRONG. If you choose option 2 they tell you to go to the website or leave a message with your mailing address and they’ll mail you some stuff. Strike one. Options 1, 3, 4, 5, and 6 were equally useless - they all took me to the exact same voice mailbox. I finally gave up trying to find a live human to talk to and left a message. A couple of hours later, I get a call from someone named Maggie from the academic office(???) and she says they do GB but not banding. (Strike two) Either she is completely clueless or else UCLA has completely changed their program since they mailed me a packet 3 weeks ago. This is their website: . http://www.uclabariatrics.mednet.ucla.edu/aboutsurgery/surgery_intro.htm. Does it look to you like they don’t do banding? I called UCLA again. Did I mention that their phone system is COMPLETELY jacked up? Because it really really is. I called the same old number and got the same old runaround. I called the main UCLA number and they transferred me to the nutrition department. I called the UCLA medical center operator and got transferred me to the same extension old voicemail box as before. Quelle surprise! (strikes three and four) The inefficiency of this whole process offends every last one of my Virgo sensibilities. How do any of these places ever get anything done? If my company operated like this, it would’ve gone out of business years ago. Is every place like this? No wonder people go to mexico!

UPDATED above

Don't feel stupid. How are you supposed to know what you can/can't eat unless you try different things?

Been there, done that. Only in my case it was when I was standing in line to board a SWA flight. LOL It was the only time I ever fainted - except for the time I gave blood and passed out in the parking lot after. bwahahaha It never hurts to ask your doctor, but I don't think it's anything to worry about if it only happened once. If it starts to happen several times a month or you start feeling dizzy, then you really should be concerned.

Same question - is this different from giving to the red cross or salvation army?

I'm surprised that there's no men's forum here. Not that that we don't want you here, but it seems kind of hard for you to find each other in the vast universe of this community. Just as we have girl stuff you don't understand, I'm sure you have guy stuff that we don't understand. It would be nice if you had a special place where you could talk about those issues specifically. Not that we wouldn't peek. LOL

Well, I just faxed over my packet. Let the games begin! My BMI is just a hair over 40, so they won't reject me for being too high - I'm sure they'll think of plenty other reasons to reject me though - I'm right handed, the planets aren't aligned, my birthday is during an odd-numbered month, etc. LOL I think sometimes the downfall of the internet is that there's TOO MUCH info available. I was on obesityhelp yesterday and there was post after post from people in CA who have BC and were approved within a week or two. Then you go someplace else, and just as many people have horror stories. I can't imagine what people did 20 years ago and there was no internet and you just have to take your doctor at his word!

Eeek! How is she doing?

I hope you are feeling better. Best of luck today :-)

One of the good things about the whole process of dealing with the insurance company is you have a lot of time to think about whether this surgery is the right move for you. That is also one of the worst things about this process. One of my biggest challenges has been impatience, but I’m getting used to that. Now my biggest challenge is staying committed. Almost every night I go to bed thinking “I can totally do this on my own. I can start tomorrow instead of waiting practically a year for major surgery that could probably kill me or have all sorts of complications.” And every morning, I button up pants that are too tight, walk to my car with horrible pains in my back, legs, and feet, and studiously avoid accidentally catching my reflection on any shiny surface. And I remember why and how I got to be this size. And I think “I can’t do this.” And I start thinking about the battle ahead of me and the fact that it’s taken almost two months just to get a referral to bariatrics. And I feel so fat and discouraged and fat and powerless and fat and tired and fat… It’s a vicious cycle of hope and despair every single day. I just don’t know if I’m strong enough for this. (sigh) Did anyone else go through this? How did you handle it? Were you able to pull through it? Any advice would be helpful

Maybe this is a naïve question from an unmarried person, but why do you have to prepare all the meals? Forgetting about the whole liquid diet thing – does he ever prepare dinner for the family or is it always you? This is one of the reasons I wonder why people get married. The other reason is I’m cynical, completely hardened, and don’t believe in lasting love, but that’s a whole other conversation…

I've been researching the band and I keep running across the information that bandsters generally lose around 60% of their excess weight. Why is this? Why don't people lose 100% of their excess weight? Or at least close to 100%? Are we physically incapable of it? Does something change inside of us? Do we just get to a certain point where we give up and say "ok, this is good enough." Because it seems to me that if you are properly restricted and exercise regularly and lose 60 pounds, if you continue on the same way, wouldn't you continue to lose until you reached a healthy weight? Using myself as an example, I'm 5'6" and weigh 240. I'm 100 pounds above my "healthy" weight. If I were to lose 60% of that, I'd weigh 180 pounds and have a BMI of 29, which is just shy of obese. Maybe I'm being unrealistic - and please tell me if I am - but that seems nuts to me. I'd go through the insurance nightmare and the surgery and the liquid diet and the pain and I'd still be (for all intents and purposes) obese? It doesn't make sense to me. I've reconciled myself to never being skinny, but I'd be really upset if obese was the best I could do. My goal is to get healthy, not just "less unhealthy." Please tell me - am I delusional?

I'm so glad you started this thread! I've been having "cold feet" too. Most of the time, I feel that getting banded is absolutely the right thing to do. But every now and then, that little voice in my head goes "OHMIGAWD this is MAJOR SURGERY! What if something goes wrong???" I hate when that happens because then I start to doubt myself and believe all the crapola the never-been-fatties preach on: "You haven't lost weight because you haven't tried properly. If you really try, the weight will come off." Shyeah. But this forum helps a lot. It really does. I know in my case, it's given me courage and the strength to continue to pursue this even though it is a difficult and frustrating process. So even though I'm a newbie too, my advice is to come here and to keep coming here as much as you need to - both before and after you are banded. It's the one place you can count on EVERYONE understanding what you're going through.

That's a great feeling, huh? Congrats :-)

I’m just curious, for those who are banded, was it your first procedure? I know the band would be a good decision for me, but I’ve never had any kind of operation before, so every now and then it hits me that this is major surgery and I sort of freak out. Anyone else in the same boat?