sleepyjean

lap band success stories? I could use a little inspiration.

Holy crap - did you see that one guy on the TX laparoscopy page? <b>101 pounds in five months???? </b>Surely that's a misprint.

Anything can work for one or two people. But if this worked on a widescale basis, the internet would be rife with success stories and people would be lining up around the block to have it done. But they aren't, are they?

I'm not going to kick your butt. Everyone else has already done it for me. You know what you're doing is wrong. You know that you're eating too much. You knew going into this that behavior modification is part of the deal. You knew all of that, yet you came here and admitted it to all of us, <b>knowing</b> what the response would be. Seems to me like some part of you - no matter how small - wants to cut it out and do what you're supposed to do. Listen to that part of yourself that wants to get your act together. I know you can do this.

You've got a lot of support on the side of "this change is hard for your husband, he feels threatened, you deserve better, etc." side and I think that's totally valid. I understand that you are making an incredible transformation and your'e proud of your progress (which you should be!). I also understand that generally speaking, people don't like change. But I'm going to play devil's advocate... You are part of this equation. Is there a chance that your behavior is contributing to this? Did your husband give you lots of compliments before the surgery? Are you expecting behaviors from him that he did not demonstrate in the past? I think sometimes we have to accept that something that is a big big deal for us, simply isn't as important to other people, even those closest to us. Is it possible that you've become a little..."high maintenance?" Do you talk about it all the time? Do you tell him about other people's complements as way to prod him into complementing you? Do you ever complement him? Is it possible that you are so focused on what he's not doing for you, you haven't thought about maybe what you aren't doing for him? Is it possible that he's just sick of hearing about it? The fault for disagreements is usually shared. It rarely falls 100% on one person or the other. I'm going to borrow from PhotoNut because I can't think of any way to say it better than she did: "I'm not telling you that you don't deserve to be happy. But I am telling you that we often make big mistakes when we focus too much on what WE DESERVE. I offer you my thoughts as a possible help to you. I don't expect you to defend yourself or even provide more personal information about your marriage. I'm not judging you, so please don't take it that way. I'm speaking from my own experiences.. if they don't apply to you, then just forget my post. Best of luck to you in this situation. I mean that sincerely."

My surgeon makes everyone see the program's social worker as part of the eval. I went into it thinking it was a complete waste of my time. Turns out it was very very helpful. I'd heard stories about people having to see a shrink and fill out some stupid test or something. When I met with the social worker, yes we did talk enough for her to get a sense of my state of mind, but that took about five minutes. The rest of the time was spent discussing how I could start preparing myself mentally for the changes during and after. She was also very interested in having me identify any roadblocks I could foresee getting in my way. I realized that every time I've lost a lot of weight in the past, I gained it back because I couldn't handle the changes and I was scared. If I don't want that to happen again, I need to start working on it now. I left that place and found a therapist who is helping me become stronger mentally so I can face this change and push through it rather than running from it as I have in the past.

You go girl!

I hate those freaking seat belts. Sometimes I get annoyed and take the darn thing off. Here in Los Angeles, we have a seatbelt law. One time I got tired of the seat belt rubbing up against my neck and unfastened it. Wouldn't you know it - two minutes later the CHP pulled me over for not wearing it!

Whenever I walk more than half a block, I get the most horrible pains in the bottoms of my feet. It feels like really bad cramping, only I can't relieve it by stretching my feet. The other thing I get is really bad pain up the sides of my legs, from foot to knee. It hurts, and if I don't get the message and sit down, it starts to burn. I gained a lot of weight in a fast period of time, so I know the two are related. Sidebar: I have always wanted to be one of those girls who can walk in high heels. I never could, though. It was just too painful. I could never figure out how other people were able to do it and I couldn't. Hello - I'm carrying an extra 130 pounds - that's a lot to balance on the balls of your feet! When I reach my goal, I'm tossing all of my hideous clunky black fat girl shoes and buying new shoes. Pretty shoes. And many of them will have heels!

I'm so glad we're having this conversation. Count me in the category of people who would prefer not to be commented on at all, even if it is a compliment. When I was 22, I starved myself down to 135lbs. I am 5'7" so that was pretty small for me. When I was 28, I did it again, going from 220 to 140. I found being a healthy weight terrifying and uncomfortable. While I was proud of myself for losing the weight, I wasn't prepared for the reaction. When I was 13, I was closet bingeing while all the other girls were learning how to flirt and talk to boys. I never learned how to do those things, so I felt inadequate and foolish. I was bewildered when total strangers who had never seen me before, never known that I was fat, complimented me. I felt afraid because deep in my heart, I <b>knew</b> that I had lost weight by starving myself and that it wouldn't last. If people noticed me losing weight, they'd certainly notice me gaining it back and I <i>cringed</i> at the thought. All of that adds up to a lot of inner turmoil. Confused, exposed, angry, scared, etc. all added up to weight gain. I see it so clearly now, but I didn't see it then. I see that some people were genuinely glad for me and complimented me because well...that's how they would want to be treated if the situation were reversed. I see that some people complimented me because I carried myself with a little more pride and confidence. And I see that some people were negative because of their own issues, and it had nothing to do with me. I hadn't thought about all of this in a while, but it all came back when I had my eval with the social worker. I realized that though I have a lot more clarity now, this is still going to be scary. The only way to deal with the fear and insecurity is to push right through it. It's going to be difficult, so I followed the social worker's advice and found a therapist to help me with this particular issue. She's going to help me fight through all of that and come out of it stronger this time, not fatter.

All my life, I have had trouble with anxiety. I tend to start worrying about things waaaaaaay in advance. But you know what? Whatever actually happened was never as bad as I thought it would be. Reading your post - I remember that feeling well. First, find out as much as you can. Talk to someone in your doctor's office and find out exactly what's involved. Do that TODAY. It could turn out you only have to sleep with a monitor on your hand and <b>you will have spent all this time freaking out over absolutely nothing.</b> What a waste! If, after talking to them, you find out you do have to wear the mask or something equally scary rather than freaking out, do something about it. Talk to your doctor. Practice sleeping with a mask on your face in an environment where you can simply take it off if it becomes too much for you. When you start to get freaked out, stop for a minute and make a concious effort to DROP IT. It takes a lot of mental, emotional, and even physical energy to stay in a constant state of anxiety. Take a few deep breaths and mentally change the channel to something more pleasant that will distract you.

Let's say you don't get banded for five years. Would you rather spend the next five years being miserable and anxious about it? Or would you rather spend the next five years enjoying your life? Worrying isn't going to make it happen any sooner. Allowing yourself to angst about it and sink into a depression won't make it happen any sooner. <b>You have to accept the not-knowing - at least for now.</b> It's difficult, I know, but you have to hit your mental RESET button. When you find yourself dwelling on it, do something - anything to get your mind off of it. It will get easier. In my case, I had to take a break from these boards for a few weeks. It was too hard to read about everyone else making progress and reaching their goals while I was sitting there, stuck, waiting 6 weeks just to get in to see my doctor for a referral! LBT is an incredible resource, but I think at times it can be painful when you feel you are on the outside looking in. But it WILL get better. You will get there.

My surgery is at 7:15 in the morning and they'll probably keep me overnight. If I want to drive myself home the next day, can they stop me? I don't want to deal with taxis.

You know...I'm sorta getting the feeling you guys think driving myself might be a bad thing...? :lalala: Nah, I'm kidding. Point taken.

Rats. I was afraid you guys were going to say that. What if I just left? I mean, they're not going to physically restrain me, are they? What if I got in a cab, went around the block, and then have the driver drop me off next to my car? It's just, I can't figure out the logistics of this thing. Let's say I do take a cab. What do I do with my purse, phone, etc while they're operating on me? Do they have lockers or something? If I could drive, I could leave everything in my car and just take the keys with me. I know I'm being foolish, but cabs are notoriously unreliable here and also, since I don't know where my purse will be while I'm in the OR, I don't want to have to carry a bunch of cash so I can pay the driver. Am I overcomplicating this? Maybe I could get a car service. Or maybe there's a bus I could take. Or maybe there's a hotel nearby. That could work!

Ever since I started this journey, my greatest fear has been that the HMO will refuse the authorize the surgery and I'd have a major battle on my hands. If only I'd known in the beginning that this would actually be the EASIEST part of this whole process. My surgeon's office submitted the authorization request last Tuesday. It was approved on Thursday. I got the letter in the mail on Saturday. Two Days! That's got to be some kind of record.

Oh gosh, what a sucky situation. The truth is, you don't owe them anything. In fact, they owe you an apology. I think your husband should handle his parents from here on out and he seems to be doing an admirable job of it. I'd just tell the parents that it is what it is. It's a decision the two of you made and though you understand their concern, the decision was ultimately yours to make. Now it's over and done and no amount of lecturing, yelling, and/or berating you will make any difference at all. It will not change whether or not you are banded and it will not change how you and your husband make decisions in the future, (except you will probably be LESS inclined to tell them anything about anything.) I think your husband just has to get rational on them (which will infuriate them.) "Mom and Dad, I love you very much. And up until this enjoyed spending time with you and was glad that my kids had such great grandparents. If you want to turn this into a feud, I can't stop you. But I'm not going to allow you to treat me or my wife this way and I'm certainly not going to put my children in the center of this argument. If you are unwilling or unable to let go of your anger and respect that my wife and I make our own decisions, then I'm sorry, but we won't be seeing you as often as we have in the past. It would be really unfortunate and we'd miss you, but the decision is yours to make." Then hang up the phone and let them chew on that for a while.

Please re-read what you wrote above - out loud. Read it more than once if you have to. I've been trying to think of a way to say this that doesn't sound harsh and judgmental, because I REALLY do not mean it that way. You are pretty young and already have a number of serious health problems and you're worried that losing weight won't be "fair" to your husband? Your sense of guilt is completely misplaced. I think you are creating a whole lot of stress in your own mind for no reason whatsoever. Your husband is supportive, so either you're worried that he's not telling you the truth or else you're imagining a problem that does not exist. Count my vote in column B. Your obesity will kill you. You said so yourself. What's not "fair" to him is dying young, leaving him guilt-striken and knowing that your death was preventable. What's not "fair" to <b>you</b> is continuing to live your life in an obese body, with aches and pains and prescription medications and limited mobility because your husband likes you overweight. It is <u>not</u> better to be obese and married than healthy and divorced. It's more important that you love and care for yourself than to hold onto someone who loves and cares for you, but only if you look the way he wants you to. Not that you even have to worry about that. Your husband isn't like that. I am not married - never even been in a serious relationship, so you can decide that I'm in no position to comment. But there are times in life when YOU and what's good for YOU has to come first. Your husband doesn't like the idea? TOUGH. Your parents don't like the idea? TOUGH. Your friends don't like the idea? TOUGH TOUGH TOUGH. Anyone who really loves you wants you to be healthy and wants to keep you around for a long long time. When you worry about things that don't exist and may not ever happen, you waste a lot of energy and time. I suggest that whenver you find yourself mentally going down that road, you put on something that makes you feel sexy and jump your husband. I doubt he'll complain and it's one hell of a way to distract yourself.

Call the insurance company back and make them tell you EXACTLY what their requirements are. Get them to fax it to you if possible so you have it in writing. That way, if there are other requirements, you can take care of them all at the same time instead of them jerking your chain like this.

While I agree with what you're saying, I don't think anyone was being overly judgmental. Yes, if she wants to try this and if it works, great for her. Like you said, there are plenty of other people doing similar things on the internet. The fact that some of us are doubtful isn't a directed comment at her saying she's a fraud or whatever. But this is how people often react to people on the internet asking for money. If someone else is more trusting than I am and wants to send money, go for it. But for my part, I would never in a million years send money in response to a request like this. There are too many scammers out there and the scams get more and more sophisticated all the time. If it's really a 65 year old con artist, he's not going to admit it because some people here challenge him. If he's any good at conning people, he will react the same way she did e.g. the "you hurt my feelings response"

I'm in the same boat. Send some of that mojo my way too!

Good Luck :-)

have you been able to raise a lot this way? Just curious.

My doctor said your protein needs depend on your body weight - which totally makes sense. For me, it's 90g a day.

<b>From Laparoscopic Adjustable Gastric Banding by Dr. Jessie Ahroni </b> <u>What if I get Pregnant</u>? The period of rapid weight loss is a period of burning more calories than you take in. You will be eating a whole lot less than you are use to. It is not advisable to become pregnant during the weight loss phase. Contrary to popular belief, the nutritional needs of the fetus are not necessarily met before the needs of the mother. The fetus and the mother are actually in competition to both meet their nutritional needs. Once your weight has stabilized you can consider becoming pregnant, but it is a good idea to discuss this with your health care provider first, if possible. It is possible to have a successful pregnancy after weight-loss surgery. Discuss it with your health care providers if you plan to become pregnant after weight-loss surgery or if an unplanned pregnancy occurs. You may need to take extra Vitamins, minerals, or supplements during pregnancy to ensure good nutrition for you and the baby. Becoming pregnant may be easier as you lose weight. If you have not been using birth control because you thought you were infertile you should discuss this with your health care providers to see if there is any chance that weight loss might increase your fertility. If you have a gastric band, your healthy care provider may want to open the band a bit to ensure you and the baby get good nutrition during pregnancy. The band may need to remain open if you are breast-feeding but can generally be tightened again after delivery and breast-feeding. ************* <b>From Weight Loss Surgery for Dummies</b> We recommend avoiding pregnancy during the first year after your surgery, while you’re still losing weight. In fact, to be on the safe side, wait 18 months. During that time, you’re able to eat just enough to sustain yourself – you aren’t eating enough to nurture a growing fetus. The chief concern following gastric by pass or duodenal switch surgeries is deficiencies in viatimain B12 and folic acid. So you want to be sure to take extra supplements. The first year after surgery is also when losing weight will be the easiest and fastest. Because it will never be this easy again, you want to take advantage of that time and lose as much weight as you possibly can. When you’ve reached a normal weight, you’re able to have a normal delivery and you’ll be in the healthiest shape possible to care for your infant. As always, talk with your doctors about when you can safely start to try to get pregnant. And be sure that your obstetrician knows you you’ve had weight loss surgery. Your obstetrician and your surgeon will want to consult so that you’ll have the safest pregnancy possible.