Syme, big cyber hugs to both you and your wife. I was not strong enough to come out on my own. My Father found out I was gay and outed me to family and friends and disowned me with a 5 page letter he mailed to me certified saying he wished I would die like every other faggot and dyke in the world. My point is I had no one I could turn to to come out on my own and deal with my feelings, no one I loved enough or felt close enough too. I think that for her to tell you this that she loves you to the moon and back and that she has tremendous respect and trust in you. I know it does not ease the pain, but only time can do that. My x girlfriend and her wife, and I with my boyfriend of 7 years are good friends. It sounds messed up to some, but my x and I still love each other, just not in the sexual way. Just still love your wife and be willing to listen to every word she wants to tell you. It could help you as much as it might help her. But I give her huge credit of being honest with you and not having affairs behind your back and waiting until the day she would leave to tell you why. It has to be the hardest thing you have ever had to listen to from the person you least wanted to hear it from. But for her, it has to be the hardest thing she has ever said to anyone and I am sure with the love she has for you that you were the last one she wanted to tell or to hurt. In the end she deserves huge credit for her honesty. But you also need to take care of yourself. I wish you both nothing but the best. Please take things one day at a time.