Cape Crooner

I think we just need to develop thicker skin and better "one liners". I live in one part of the country from November to April and I just got back "home". I have lots of friends who are seeing me for the first time down 95 lbs. They say the dumbest things:
1. One couple has now told me 5 times EACH that they don't recognize me (they need new material).
2. A lot of marginal acquaintances come up to me WHILE I'M EATING in a restaurant and look at my plate and say "I want to see what you're eating" or "is that on your diet?"
3. My wife doesn't want me to lose another pound.
4. And of course everyone says "you must feel much better".
I've just started telling them that I lost most of my weight in 2015 and while it's new news to them, it's old news to me. Hopefully they'll leave me alone.
Of course, there are dozens of good friends who are just happy for me. I love them dearly!

I'm 7 months out and lost all my weight in record time. I ate exactly what they told me to eat and logged every single morsel from the orientation through solid foods (at which point I had lost the majority of my weight loss goal.
Once they gave me "the green light" to eat normally, I very slowly added in new foods.
I'm now in maintenance and I weigh in on most mornings. If I go over goal weight, I go back to my 1,000 calorie/day diet.
In terms of food, I defer carbs as long as possible each day. I eat a lot of Atkins type meals (17 of my 21 meals a week).
I allow myself 2-4 meals a week of whatever I want. My major taboo is fries, but I only eat 5-8 and share the rest.
You'll learn a lot about eating right during your pre opt and post opt diets. Don't forget it when you get the green light, just tweak it.
You'll do great!

I have a lengthy thread on this "Oh, the lying". I think it's a "tell everyone" or "tell no one" proposition. I told 6 people and that was 5 too many.
After losing 95 lbs in 5 months, it's all everyone wants to talk about and I'm so sick of it.
In terms of your situation, I'd steer clear of any events that involve dinning. If someone you trust/respect asks, I'd tell them something like "I decided to make some major lifestyle changes and lose a lot of weight. I'm doing exactly what my doctor and nutritionalist tell me to do, and they suggest I avoid social dining situations."
In 2 months, when you're down 30 - 50 lbs. , they'll all want to know "your secret". Tell them your doing exactly what your doctor tells you to do. If they persist, suggest that they go ask THEIR DOCTOR!

I have a lengthy thread on this "Oh, the lying". I think it's a "tell everyone" or "tell no one" proposition. I told 6 people and that was 5 too many.
After losing 95 lbs in 5 months, it's all everyone wants to talk about and I'm so sick of it.
In terms of your situation, I'd steer clear of any events that involve dinning. If someone you trust/respect asks, I'd tell them something like "I decided to make some major lifestyle changes and lose a lot of weight. I'm doing exactly what my doctor and nutritionalist tell me to do, and they suggest I avoid social dining situations."
In 2 months, when you're down 30 - 50 lbs. , they'll all want to know "your secret". Tell them your doing exactly what your doctor tells you to do. If they persist, suggest that they go ask THEIR DOCTOR!

I think we just need to develop thicker skin and better "one liners". I live in one part of the country from November to April and I just got back "home". I have lots of friends who are seeing me for the first time down 95 lbs. They say the dumbest things:
1. One couple has now told me 5 times EACH that they don't recognize me (they need new material).
2. A lot of marginal acquaintances come up to me WHILE I'M EATING in a restaurant and look at my plate and say "I want to see what you're eating" or "is that on your diet?"
3. My wife doesn't want me to lose another pound.
4. And of course everyone says "you must feel much better".
I've just started telling them that I lost most of my weight in 2015 and while it's new news to them, it's old news to me. Hopefully they'll leave me alone.
Of course, there are dozens of good friends who are just happy for me. I love them dearly!

60, you're doing great. It's a fact that it's much harder for women and those of us over 55. Just watch those pesky carbs and drink plenty of Water. Oh yeah, walking is great, but I think it's more for your general health than actual weight loss.

I'm down 95 lbs and on maintenance since March. I had my 6 month checkup last week (a month late) and even the surgeon was impressed with how fast I lost the weight.
I think the key is:
1. Moderate low carb/high Protein diet of about 1400 calories/day.
2. A minimum of 300,000 steps per month (per my activity tracker).
3. 72 ounces of Water (minimum)

60, you're doing great. It's a fact that it's much harder for women and those of us over 55. Just watch those pesky carbs and drink plenty of Water. Oh yeah, walking is great, but I think it's more for your general health than actual weight loss.

I'm down 95 lbs and on maintenance since March. I had my 6 month checkup last week (a month late) and even the surgeon was impressed with how fast I lost the weight.
I think the key is:
1. Moderate low carb/high Protein diet of about 1400 calories/day.
2. A minimum of 300,000 steps per month (per my activity tracker).
3. 72 ounces of Water (minimum)

I think the reason you see so much disagreement is twofold:
1. Soda and WLS issues can vary by the type of surgery you have. The sleeve cannot stretch, but the pouch can. Of course, you can stretch a pouch by overeating anything. I don't believe soda expands in your stomach.
2. Some people have addiction issues with soda and tend to drink way too much. I have read about people who drank 12 cans a day before WLS (diet or regular). Resuming this after ANY WLS will cause problems.
In my case, I was never a big soda drinker. I did have a Diet Coke or a Fresca with lunch or dinner and I no longer do that.
I do have some Diet Coke or Seltzer occasionally in my cocktail (vodka seltzer or rum and diet). I use to love both of these and as far as cocktails go, they are very low cal (under 100 calories).
That said, I do notice that they feel funny in my stomach and I may or may not have them much again. Also, I'm talking about 12 ounces over the course of 3 hours.
So, if you have a sleeve and you're talking about very moderate consumption, I'd try it and see.
If you have a pouch or think you'll drink them to excess, I'd steer clear.

You have a lot of great advice in this thread. I was 62 when I had my VSG last October and although I was obese, I probably wouldn't have done any of the other WLS options (gastric bypass or switch) unless I had more to lose.
Keep in mind that VSG didn't even exist as a WLS option in 2004, so no one in this so-called study had the operation you had.
I definitely rushed into my surgery (less than 2 months from orientation to surgery) and I never regretted it.
Partially because the actual surgery was so minor (I was out for less than 50 minutes) and partially because I knew once I healed, all my anatomy would be normal with exception of my child sized stomach.
But the main reason I had zero regrets was because after 50 years of dieting I KNEW nothing else would work - because I had tried them all and failed at them all.
I know I added 10-15 years to my life, but if I had been 320 at 22, I may not have even made it to 62.
You made a GREAT decision and I pray you come to realize it sooner rather than later.
One more thing, while you may think you could have done it on your own, I seriously doubt it. Read this study on the winners from The Biggest Loser who discovered the truth about " doing it on their own".
Quite sad for those who try to do it themselves. It really shows how fortunate we are to have the WLS option!
http://mobile.nytimes.com/2016/05/02/health/biggest-loser-weight-loss.html?referer=

I think the reason you see so much disagreement is twofold:
1. Soda and WLS issues can vary by the type of surgery you have. The sleeve cannot stretch, but the pouch can. Of course, you can stretch a pouch by overeating anything. I don't believe soda expands in your stomach.
2. Some people have addiction issues with soda and tend to drink way too much. I have read about people who drank 12 cans a day before WLS (diet or regular). Resuming this after ANY WLS will cause problems.
In my case, I was never a big soda drinker. I did have a Diet Coke or a Fresca with lunch or dinner and I no longer do that.
I do have some Diet Coke or Seltzer occasionally in my cocktail (vodka seltzer or rum and diet). I use to love both of these and as far as cocktails go, they are very low cal (under 100 calories).
That said, I do notice that they feel funny in my stomach and I may or may not have them much again. Also, I'm talking about 12 ounces over the course of 3 hours.
So, if you have a sleeve and you're talking about very moderate consumption, I'd try it and see.
If you have a pouch or think you'll drink them to excess, I'd steer clear.

I think the reason you see so much disagreement is twofold:
1. Soda and WLS issues can vary by the type of surgery you have. The sleeve cannot stretch, but the pouch can. Of course, you can stretch a pouch by overeating anything. I don't believe soda expands in your stomach.
2. Some people have addiction issues with soda and tend to drink way too much. I have read about people who drank 12 cans a day before WLS (diet or regular). Resuming this after ANY WLS will cause problems.
In my case, I was never a big soda drinker. I did have a Diet Coke or a Fresca with lunch or dinner and I no longer do that.
I do have some Diet Coke or Seltzer occasionally in my cocktail (vodka seltzer or rum and diet). I use to love both of these and as far as cocktails go, they are very low cal (under 100 calories).
That said, I do notice that they feel funny in my stomach and I may or may not have them much again. Also, I'm talking about 12 ounces over the course of 3 hours.
So, if you have a sleeve and you're talking about very moderate consumption, I'd try it and see.
If you have a pouch or think you'll drink them to excess, I'd steer clear.

I'm a firm believer that it's impossible to eat something at home that never leaves the grocery store, so I buy into that philosophy and I do avoid that aisle as much as possible.
That said, we all need to develop new habits that work over the long term and I find painful abstinence almost always fails during our weaker moments.
So here's another strategy that might work -- earn your carbs...
Basically, you're not fighting the carbs, you're fighting the "green light mindlessly consuming the entire bag". To me the key is not avoiding the potato chips like kryptonite, but rather removing the taboo by inserting consequences I can manage and live with.

1. I can eat as much as I want of anything, but if I'm over my goal weight, I MUST log it so I don't forget that I ate it. Yes, I have logged 7 ounces of potato chips and the 1200 calories that went with them.
2. If I do this, then I'm unlikely to eat anything bad when I'm near or over my goal weight, the risk comes when I'm down a few pounds.
3. If I'm 5-7 pounds below my goal weight, I might allow myself one of these evil indulgences, but do so deliberately, not mindlessly.
4. Understand that while I can have some anytime, I CAN NOT have as many as I want all the time unless I want to be obese all over again.
5. Mentally associate the consumption of these bad foods with the painful work that's required to consume them responsibly (working out an extra 30 minutes, counting calories for 2-3 days, etc).

Essentially, it's a mental exercise that teaches your brain to avoid these bad foods...

So far so good, but I'm only on month 3 of maintenance.

I have endured many slings and arrows on this forum, so you can check out my posts if you'd like.
Here's what I know:
1. The number one issue early on is preventing ulcers. The sleeve is fairly well healed after 6 weeks and that seems to be the earliest point any doctor suggests a return to alcohol consumption.
2. Transfer addition is the number 2 issue. I think it's very serious for people who were food addicts, not so much for people who became obese for other reasons. My test for addiction syndrome is to ask yourself the question:
" ...after I start [eating/smoking/drinking] the thing I'm addicted too, do I almost mindlessly consume more?"
If this is your mindset, you could be at risk for alcohol transfer addiction.
3. Alcohol has calories that can easily cause obesity along with the slider foods we tend to go to once we get drunk. My advice is to avoid high calorie (sugary) drinks, plan what you're gonna eat after you've had a few, and log it all so you can figure out why your Weightloss failed - if it happens down the road.
Me, I started back slowly after week 7. I followed my guidelines above and since then, I've gone from 225 to 182 (8 lbs below goal).
What you drink and eat matters greatly. You can easily consume thousand of calories in a few hours drinking sweet cocktails and washing down chips!
Like everything, there is no free lunch...

I'm a firm believer that it's impossible to eat something at home that never leaves the grocery store, so I buy into that philosophy and I do avoid that aisle as much as possible.
That said, we all need to develop new habits that work over the long term and I find painful abstinence almost always fails during our weaker moments.
So here's another strategy that might work -- earn your carbs...
Basically, you're not fighting the carbs, you're fighting the "green light mindlessly consuming the entire bag". To me the key is not avoiding the potato chips like kryptonite, but rather removing the taboo by inserting consequences I can manage and live with.

1. I can eat as much as I want of anything, but if I'm over my goal weight, I MUST log it so I don't forget that I ate it. Yes, I have logged 7 ounces of potato chips and the 1200 calories that went with them.
2. If I do this, then I'm unlikely to eat anything bad when I'm near or over my goal weight, the risk comes when I'm down a few pounds.
3. If I'm 5-7 pounds below my goal weight, I might allow myself one of these evil indulgences, but do so deliberately, not mindlessly.
4. Understand that while I can have some anytime, I CAN NOT have as many as I want all the time unless I want to be obese all over again.
5. Mentally associate the consumption of these bad foods with the painful work that's required to consume them responsibly (working out an extra 30 minutes, counting calories for 2-3 days, etc).

Essentially, it's a mental exercise that teaches your brain to avoid these bad foods...

So far so good, but I'm only on month 3 of maintenance.

Down 99 lbs. 8 under goal. The 36" jeans are loose and I'm working on maintenance. It's crazy, but if I sick to anything like my post op diet, I keep losing weight.
Meeting with my surgeon for my 6 month check up Wednesday (yep, a little late).

You can sip small amounts while you eat to help with the dry mouth. Just forget about washing down supper with a 12 ounce drink, more like 2 ounces max...

I'm now in Maintenance. I'm using a combination of daily regiments. When I weigh in below my goal weight, I allow GREEN days; where I do my best, but don't log my foods.
When I drift above my goal, I snap back to my month 3 diet and log everything (no alcohol). So far this is working well, but mostly due to the sleeve restriction that kicks in regularly on green days.
No matter what color my days are, I'm getting in 70,000+ steps a week.

So, I'm living incognito regarding my WLS (long story, see other posts).
Anyway, I'm back at my summer home, 90 lbs lighter than when I left and dealing with answering a million questions without actually telling the truth (my latest response to the question about how I lost some much weight is "I went to a doctor and did exactly what they told me to do").
I was an event Friday night with passed heavy appetizers (my fav) and the first thing to come by was a mini burger/slider. I grabbed one (planning on having it for my entire dinner) and a skinny friend shrieks out "that's on your diet?" And then gave me a shocked look.
I guess it will pass, but kind of crummy and definitely ruined my meal (I took one bite and threw it away).
I suppose people expect me to eat grapes and carrot sticks!
Oh well...

I'm pretty much with you, I'm still pre-op (8 more days!) but I started a blog and I share it on Facebook. To me it's kinda the same as my PCOS, there are a lot of people out there who are completely ignorant about it and have no idea what we're going through, so I'm trying to educate folks. I'm not a particularly shy person, I can actually be quite blunt (when people have asked me why we don't have kids, my standard response is "my ladyparts are broke"), so sharing what's going on doesn't bother me. I think if I was having the surgery out of some sense of vanity, just to be skinny/look better, I might be more reserved about it. But I'm having this surgery to be able to have kids and to save my life, and like you said there is no shame in that!

Yes, it is none of their business, but it still doesn’t feel good when they say that. I guess you could say “Yes, it is on my diet.” If you feel the need to explain more, and they seem to be listening, you could explain that “I am allowed to eat this because I am learning to incorporate real foods in reasonable amounts in my diet.”

My skin is plenty thick. The issue is what's going through my brain and recalling all I've been through trying to lose weight for the last 50 years.
I know my friend meant no harm, it's just that skinny people have never walked in our shoes.
My daughter had anorexia years ago and I recall how anything anyone said about what she was eating would send her into a fit.
I think that's kind of what's happening to me...

Absolutely not irrelevant!
I'm new to this journey, but as a 50 year veteran at dieting, I know that nothing is more irrelevant or annoying than hearing the opinion of someone who has just lost a bunch of weight and NOW think they know everything about the RIGHT WAY to lose weight! The truth is, they actually know next to nothing, what they claim as knowledge is simply a regurgitation of things they've read of heard from the so-called experts.

Even before my orientation, I discovered how wrong the so-called experts were for the simple reason that they don't agree on most of the most important aspects of a typical WLS program...

Like:
Pre-opt diet liquid Diet Post-opt diet When to drink and when to eat Portion sizes When to add coffee When to add alcohol (if ever) Understand, I have seen inconsistencies in all of the topics just within my own hospital. Expand it to this forum or the whole frigging Internet and you quickly realize that THERE ARE NO RULES. Of course the typical true believer newbie will simply assume the lowest common denominator or exactly what their program told them.

To me all of this is useless. While the results we're hearing about are incredible, this is ultimately still a diet (you can't just get the surgery and never worry about calories, carbs, and the scale again).

Like all successful diets, we're mostly all very strict with ourselves in the beginning, but our conviction eventually wanes after we meet our goal AND THAT'S WHEN EVERYTHING GETS INTERESTING!

So, to me, you vets are actually all I care about. The divergent expert opinions have already proved themselves irrelevant as are the newbie myna birds who mimic their advice.

You are the most relevant participants in this board!

PS: Although I have a VSG, I know there are many successful bands as well, so to me that's a distinction with no difference...

I love my carbs too, but what I'm doing is deferring carb eating as long as possible in the day. For Breakfast, I have an egg white and chicken sausage omelet.
Mid morning, veggie burger - no bread. lunch is leftover Protein or chicken meatballs.
Then mid afternoon I'll have a small bowl of skinny pop and meat/green veggies for dinner.
At this point, I've eaten well and hit my protein goal. I've only eaten about 800 calories and then I can have a 250 calorie no sugar desert and a 100 calorie snack before bed.
That's 1150 an combined with 70 ounces of Water and an hour of biking/walking, the pounds keep dropping off.