Renkoss

Chrystee, I think that the insecurities that your husband has over your weight loss is that you will hurt him like another did in the past. This is his problem; it is not you that is causing it per say. When time goes on and you prove to your husband that you can be trusted not to cheat on him because of your new body, then perhaps he will relax with all of this. We have to realize that the big changes occur not just for us as the patient, but for those around us or involved with us as well. They have become comfortable with who we were, and now we throw this sudden change at them. Perhaps he is seeing how happy the weight being gone has made you and feels inferior to it. Maybe he is afraid you will be different in how you see him. Perhaps he needs to talk this out with someone. Not communicating with each other is probably the worst thing that can happen. He needs to really open up to you and tell you why he is showing little interest. I hope you find the answers. I know my husband has told me that his lowered libido has nothing to do with my body. That I believe is my own fear and shame. But, I do remember when I was pregnant with my daughters he wasn't really interested in sex either. Of course that is when a woman's hormones are going absolutely crazy and her libido is way out there!!!! At this point, I know he realizes that the surgery is my best option and hope of getting things to work better in my body, but I know he is afraid for me. I try to calm his anxiety about all this, but until it occurs and he sees how it is working, there really isn't much I can do. Sit down with your hubby and get him to open up to you. Whether you want to hear the truth or not, you need to hear it. Perhaps it is not what you think. Knowing is always better. Good Luck

Antionettemn619y1, I would be sure to check with whatever insurance you have to see if you will meet the criteria for WLS coverage. Some insurance companies do not cover if under a BMI of 40 without any comorbities such as hypertension, diabetes, sleep apnea, high cholesterol or high tryglicerides. I think that many doctors are gungho for this surgery for any patient who happens to be considered "obese" to them. As far as developing debilitating diseases due to excess weight as you get older, that is a very real possibility, but it is also not going to happen for sure. I guess that depends on your lifestyle and eating habits. Size 14 isn't necessarily a horrible size. I wish I were a size 14 right now! If you are going to do this surgery, much luck to you and I hope you have a wonderful time being "skinny". However, if you feel you can keep your health in check without the surgery, don't let anyone talk you into it just "because".

I to some degree have the opposite problem. My husband used to weight 285 lbs at 6' tall. Over the past few years he has gone down to between 205-210 lbs without weight loss surgery. While he has lost, I continued to gain because of my insulin usage being so great. Other than the insulin, I really did cut my eating amounts down to half of what I used to eat, and had cut out most carbs such as breads, pastas, rices, potatoes. I stopped eating fruits and dairy. I used good saturated fats from things like avacadoes, coconut oil, olive oil. I was exercising at least 3-4 times per week for at least 45 minutes each time. I did not lose one pound. However, I wasn't gaining at that point either, but I hurt my foot while exercising and I had to stop for several months. My blood sugar became out of control even on an insulin pump, and I fee like I'm stuck in hormonal hell. I've tried every thing there was on the market and what my doctor/endo gave me. Nothing. So this is where I'm at. Of course during this time the different medications I had been given caused weight gain (and let's face it, once gained it doesn't automatically drop off when you quit that drug). So my husband went from being a big guy to being a much thinner version, who is always cold now (he used to radiate heat) dresses in long johns, sweat pants, quilted flannels, and sits on the couch with a blanket over his legs! He looks like a little old man, yet he's only 52 years old! Needless to say our sex life has dropped off considerably. I mean it went from him being a horn-dog to months upon months of no interest. He said it is not my size that has caused his interest to be so lackluster. He said he just lost his sex appetite. We've literally had sex twice in the past 8-9 months. I of course don't believe him about it not being my size and it makes me cry a lot. I am trying to lose weight; it just doesn't happen on my own! Now that the diabetes is beginning to affect my organs, I have to do this surgery. It is about living longer healthy rather than being thin. So I sympathize with you, but mine really has nothing to do with the weight surgery. I have two more appointments and then I go for final insurance approval. I'm hoping by March/April I'm scheduled for surgery!

May I ask how your surgery has helped your Type 2 diabetes? I am going to have bypass soon and am also Type 2 with great difficulty controlling because of severe insulin resistance. Do you still take meds and how is your blood sugar both pre and post op? Thank you.

Wonderful article. This is something I will definitely heed as I deal with "head hunger" quite a bit. Thanks for posting.

I haven't had surgery yet, but I guess I would not have chosen to do this whole process for just weight loss. I have diabetes and it is causing problems health wise for me, so this is why I have chosen to do this surgery. The weight loss is a plus, but not the main reason for doing this. Unfortunately because of the amount of insulin I have to use in order to keep my numbers lower, but by no means in a good range, has caused me to balloon up to 271 lbs. I'm only 5'2", so needless to say I'm a bit of a ball. The weight is mostly in my stomach, so I also look pregnant. If it were just to lose weight, I could actually discipline myself to do that, but with the insulin it makes it near impossible to lose weight since insulin by nature causes fat to be stored. This surgery has been found to help control diabetes. So the weight loss is a plus, and I'm actually rather nervous to be "skinny" because I've always been a bit overweight my whole life. I don't really know what it is like to be "skinny".

WOW! What a transformation one year out!!! You look fabulous! You were very pretty to begin with, but my goodness, you look like you never weighed more than you do right now! I have a question for you as I get close to surgery. Do you have a lot of hanging skin (your picture does not look like you do) and if not, how did you keep from getting too much hanging? I need to lose about 100 or so pounds, and most of the weight is in my stomach, but I am afraid about hanging skin being a nuisance. Congratulations on your weight loss! Can you also offer any tips to us newbie's? What was the hardest part, what was the easiest, etc. What an inspiration!

Ugh. This is so ridiculous! Do they realize they are messing with a real person here? I hate the insurance companies when they pull this kind of stuff. It is just so wrong. Hang in their sassy.

I know that most of the surgeries done at The Cleveland Clinic (in Cleveland, Ohio) are done laproscopically with 5 holes in the abdomen. They only open you up if necessary. Is that what you mean by robotic? I know the laproscope looks kind of like an octopus...long arms.

You'd think they would train these people better. smh.

Wow! That sounds so wonderful! I can't wait to have that happen. I know it won't be immediate, but damn girl! You are so giving me hope right now. Congratulations on your success!

Well, there is still hope that the 6 month waiting game has already been done with the appointments and waiting you have already done. The UHC Rep should have the verbage of how the insurance policy is written in regards to this type of surgery. As far as the insurance telling you to contact HR and ask for CC...how ridiculous! Dari is correct; all a Certificate of Coverage is going to do is show that you do indeed have insurance, the effective date and that is is active status. Wow. Makes you wonder about UHC's customer service reps. Don't know their butts from a hole in the ground!!! Also, just for your reference, just because other people have UHC insurance and they covered the surgery doesn't mean everyone's policy is the same. Companies work with the insurance reps and write the policy to best fit their needs, and sometimes they exclude some benefits that may be cost ineffective for them. Each plan is unique to the company it is through.

All thoughts and prayers going out to you sassyfrass23. Hope you hear nothing but good new Monday.

I'm just wondering here if when they told you a 6 month wait for surgery, they were not stating it from all the pre-op stuff required. So basically, you have to have 6 NUT appts, and you can only do 1 a month for 6 months. During that time you also need a Psych eval. Once you have satisfied all the requirements, then your application or file is submitted to insurance for final approval. From there you get scheduled for surgery. I have BC/BS, and my requirements were 6 NUT visits, 1 per month, a psych eval, 2-3 appts with a Nurse Practioner or D.O. I just finished a 4 week group support for binge eating (part of psych visit). I have final psych visit in a couple weeks. I have my last NUT appt in a couple weeks. I've completed the Nurse/D.O. appointments. So, by end of February I should be submitted for final approval from the insurance. If approved, then I'm scheduled by surgeons office. I'm just wondering if this is nothing more than a misunderstanding of the wording by the insurance. It makes no sense to have to wait 6 months after final approval is received. BTW, I work with insurance companies all the time. They can be quite confusing.

Coconut oil can be used anesthetically? Is that the right word? Helps with healing.

Soexcited, glad you are going for the bypass. I seem to be seeing and reading people who had the gastric band would lose weight, but had either problems or had it removed, and then had either bypass or sleeve. Those who had problems or had removed seemed to begin gaining weight back relatively quick. Perhaps they will stop that procedure all together. We are all in this thing called life together, and let's face it, we want to be healthy, active, and be able to grow old! I have two more visits toward the end of February. After that it's final approval time and scheduling time. I cannot wait to just do this already. Congrats to all of us for choosing this for ourselves. Good Luck to one and all!

I'm beginning my journey with the Protein shakes. I've replaced Breakfast with them so far. I will begin replacing lunch as well within the next week. My last two appointments before going to insurance for final approval are mid-late February, so hopefully by then I will be adjusted to drinking just the Protein Shakes. The morning shakes are pretty good, and it was not a hard transition since I'm not a big eater in the morning anyway, so this is right up my alley. I do like my lunches though, so that might be a bit tough to get through.

MSDiggs, that is wonderful news! I've been T2 for at least the past 20 years. Mine began gestationally, but after my youngest daughter was born it did not go away. Fast-forward to today and it is just a bear trying to get below 200 anymore. I'm so happy to see that you have had success to date, and only 2 weeks postop. I, like you, am doing this for my health. The weight loss will be a plus, but that is not the reason I'm doing this. I have no other options and my kidney's are beginning to show slight damage. I can't have that. I try so darn hard to keep my health in check, and to not have control of this is literally killing me. Now I'm more anxious than ever!!!

jjcason, I have not "been there done that" yet, but I am close. I have one more appointment with NUT and 1 more appointment with Psychology. Once they both sign off, it goes to insurance for final approval. Then surgery schedule date! I'm nervous, excited, scared, and worried. I'm anxious to get the ball rolling already, but of course like anyone else, a bit scared of the unknown at this point. Reading through the threads here has helped me to realize I'm not the only one to have these emotions/feelings, and that pretty much everyone here would have done this sooner had they known. Like you, I am a T2 Diabetic on a pump. I've been pumping for almost 4 years now. In the beginning, the pump really helped me to get control of my blood sugar numbers and to lower my A1C. However, just like everything else in my life, my numbers starting rising and back out of control and I've not been able to get them back down since. Now they tend to yo-yo, and I don't understand why. I have not changed my eating habits (I eat low carb; actually very low carb). I continue to gain weight because of the amount of insulin I have to continue upping to even keep my numbers in a somewhat better place, and when I do have a good blood sugar day, I sit and wonder what I did different? The answer is a usual frustrating nothing different. I totally understand your need to know if this is going to help. I myself am curious as well. It is my last hope however since I've been on pretty much every drug out there, tried different diets, exercise, etc. My endo doctor has nothing more to offer other than WLS. I'm here to hold hands through this with you. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help. Hugs.

I can relate Melissa1987. I'm not looking forward to doing that shake diet for a couple of weeks. I know that will be rough. But, I'm ready to move on with the rest of my life now. The waiting is a killer!

Melissa1987, I'm nervous and excited for you! Eek! Just think, you will already be down weight-wise by Christmas! I was told probably in March, 2016. I'm having a heck of a time trying to get any weight off. Right now I have a terrible upper respiratory infection and it is causing my blood sugar numbers to be very high. Therefore I have to use more insulin to even get to some decent area with them, and that just causes weight gain! The madness is never-ending! How are you doing on the complete Protein shake diet prior to the surgery?

Hello all. I'm rather new here as well. I am in the midst of my appointments with NUT, CNP, Surgeon, Psych. I don't have to have a sleep study because I already know I have OSA and use a CPAP when sleeping. I've had 2 NUT appts, saw the CNP this past week, I have to go for a chest x-ray, abdominal ultrasound, and EKG this week. My next meeting is with the surgeon on 11/24, as well as my 3rd NUT appt. My insurance requires 6 NUT visits, and you can only do 1 every 30 days. So, it is aligned that I should be ready to schedule surgery in March, 2016. I'm nervous but so excited at the same time. I have one of the top surgeons in Cleveland, Ohio for this surgery. Going through the Cleveland Clinic. I so hope this helps me with my health issues; mostly my out of control diabetes. I've been eating low carb and clean (no processed foods) for the past 3 years, and I just cannot get my numbers under control. I also suffer from GERD, Sleep Apnea, High Cholesterol, Tryglicerides. I just want to live a healthy life and be active. Good Luck everyone. Keep posting as you head toward the actual surgery. It helps me to know I'm not alone in this and the support is so positive.

Bloating is usually caused by sugar, dairy, wheat. I would go very low carb for about a few weeks and see how that feels with your bloating issues. Also it could be a build up of gas in your system. Try using things like Gas-X, or increase exercise like walking. That will definitely help work any built up gas in your system work its way out of your system. As far as not eating candy, you really shouldn't be eating that anyway. So fasting from candy should not be difficult for you. Also, don't have that stuff available to eat; if you don't buy it for home, then you cannot eat it at home. If other people at work have it out, then stay away from those areas for a bit. Why would you go through all this to lose weight and be healthy to sabotage yourself? You need to have the willpower and the strength to stay away from what is bad for you and only eat clean and healthy. Just make up your mind that you never want to return to all the old bad habits because if you do, you will end up in the same place. This is not an easy fix; and this is your life now. I have not even been scheduled for surgery yet, and I still have a ways to go with the appointments and such, but I'm learning so much by reading other people's experiences. Your story is encouraging, but you are allowing yourself to slip back into what led you here. You must convince yourself that you are worth so much more. I don't know what that would be for you. My motivation at this point is to improve my diabetes, and be around long enough to see my daughters get married and have babies. I want to be an active Grandma in the future. I don't want to be sick and bedridden and a burden on others. I'm 53 and have so much more living to do!

Gabrielle2014, I understand your frustration. I have given up many foods already, so that part should not be too hard. My fear is the grazing part. When I'm bored, or frustrated, or emotional, or stressed....I eat. I keep mostly healthy foods in the house, but I can overdo healthy too. You do need to be more kind to yourself, and I know how hard that can be. Isn't there a saying that goes we are our own worst enemies? I'm sure there is a support group somewhere near you. You just need to get motivated and find one, and also to get yourself moving. You have started your really big change in your life; just continue. You are worth it. Keep telling yourself that as well. You are worth it!

AnninOK, I'm 53 yrs old, and although I don't have young children, my daughters are 23 and 21 respectively. I want to be around to see them get married and have children. I want to be a Grandma, and I want to be one that is active and able to keep up (somewhat) with the kids. I've always been an active person, but with the additional weight I've become much more sedentary because I tire much more easily than I used to, and the weight just is uncomfortable. I can't do really aerobic exercises, like Zumba or Jazzercise, right now because it stresses my body too much and plays hell on the whole cortisol release. I have given up lots of foods already because of the diabetes, and my A1C is horrible right now. I really need to do this, and I'm afraid and scared, even though I know it won't be as horrible as I think it will be.