Jill_S

Having been a hard core diet pepsi drinker for 25 years, I didn't think I'd ever be able to part with them, but I did. Had my last one a week before surgery, and haven't even craved one since. It's my caffienated coffee I miss most The dietician told me that while the carbonation can swell the pouch, the main reason my doctor said "No soda" is because it could "possibly" erode the band eventually. I may sip a little here and there later on, but so far, I haven't missed it.

Peanut butter and cheese is amazing - try it, you might like it I used to sometimes put peanut butter in a cheese sammich before I grilled it.

Wow. I have very long hair and have just noticed in the last month or two that my hair seemed to be coming out a lot more. I just got banded a week ago, so the surgery isn't the cause of mine, and I'm not sure what is. But it freaks me out. I was told awhile back that I was iron-deficient, so maybe that's my cause. If so, the Centrums I started taking (chewing) after surgery should help.

10 days pre-op liquid diet - juice, Jello, pudding, popsicles/fudgesicles (most of this is to be low-sugar if possible), applesauce, bananas, milk, yogurt, Protein shakes 2 weeks post-op - juice, milk, yogurt, Protein Shakes, jello/pudding/popsicles(sugar-free all). Applesauce only if we need to crush a pill and mix in it. And I dunno about after 2 weeks, I'll tell ya Thursday when the dietician tells me. I'm so tired of liquids I started them the 9th of September.

Watkins Vanilla and Cinnamon are the only ones I'll ever keep in my house. The vanilla is so smooth and rich tasting, you'll never go back to the store brand! My folks' have a friend who sells it, and my mom got me the vanilla a few years ago, and now I won't use anything else.

Before I start my long story, I have to reply to this:<wich wasn't helped by the fact that my mother loves short hair <WICH hair short loves mother my that fact the by helped wasn?t>><O:p</O:p Oh god, my mother, too. My mother and my sister have always had short hair, and until I moved out of my parent’s house, mine was too. Right now, it’s down to my waist, and I’ve been growing it for 10 years or so with only trims and such – it hasn’t been short-short since my mother lost control of it <O:p Okay, on to the story. <O:p I’ve always been fat. And yes, I say fat because that’s what it is. No reason to beat around the bush. I’m fat. My father has always been morbidly obese, for as long as I can remember. His sister, my only aunt has always been more obese than my father. My grandmother – their mother – was heavy, but not morbidly obese, same with their father. My mother has always been a size 18, for as long as I can remember. Her weight doesn’t go up or down – ever. Her parents were both very thin. Both of my grandfathers were alcoholics. My dad’s parents divorced when my dad and aunt were very young, and my grandmother (my favorite person on the entire planet – ever) remarried several years later, to the love of her life – who died six months later of a stroke. Another few years later, she married my Grandpa Bob, who was the only grandfather on that side I really knew as a kid, and I adored him, but my dad and my aunt did not like him at all. My mom’s folks – well, since my grandpa died two years ago, and we had to put my grandmother in a nursing home – let’s just say that I’ve heard some of the more interesting stories about these two – including that they cheated on each other. Okay so, my parents came into their marriage as partially broken people, but hugely committed to NOT breaking their children as they were broken. And for the most part, they did a good job. As kids, my sister and I never *needed* anything. We were not spoiled, and we didn’t ever *everything* we wanted, but we were very well taken care of. We were not abused – we did get spankings when we screwed up but I do not consider that abuse, and would spank my own kids if I had any – if anything, maybe we didn’t have all the emotional support we’d have liked, but over all, we had decent childhoods. My mother did try to get my father and I to lose weight. (my sister was stick thin til she got married). She would hide sweets in the house, but at the same time, cook meals that were full of fat and calories. I can remember one time running across a package of oreos she had hidden (Think I was like 12) and eating HALF the bag, then putting them back, knowing that I was gonna get yelled at for it, but not caring. My mother is a perfectionist. She can let you know she disapproves of you without saying a word, and I think I grew up knowing that I was never gonna be good enough. But again, I had a decent childhood. I was just fat. Graduated high school weighing probably 220 pounds. Kids in school are cruel. I grew up constantly seeking acceptance. I had friends in all of the groups in school – jocks, brains, druggies, geeks – I made friends with people easily, because I was always such a nice person (acceptance). Once I got out of high school and started college, it was basically the same except that now, my seeking of acceptance also included men. Add 40 pounds. I have a lifelong problem with men and relationships. Rather that stems from my being fat, or is why I’m still fat, I dunno – but I tend to think it’s a vicious cycle. I always “settled” for boyfriends who wanted me, or acted like they did. I never chose the men in my life carefully, I just went with whoever asked me, because I thought to myself – finally! Someone who will love me for me!. I had physically abusive ones and emotionally abusive ones and sexually abusive ones, but I always stayed with them until either they got rid of me or in the case of the physical ones, I finally got enough self-esteem gathered to get rid of them. I got married for the first time at 26, to the first boyfriend I’d ever had that had his own apartment, a good job and his own car. I was fat then. And he loved me anyway. So I married him, even though he was an alcoholic and smoked pot like there was no tomorrow. And it was good for awhile. But eventually, I started to not feel good about myself again. And I started hanging out with a male friend of mine a lot, and we started messing around a little. It made me feel good about myself, cause here was this gorgeous guy, and he wanted to kiss me! My husband was apparently too busy sleeping with a redhead (his weakness) from work to notice, or so I found out later. Add 40 pounds.<O:p Then I discovered the computer, and met a guy on there, who I’ll call C., who seemed to have the same wants, desires and needs that I did! He lived in Wyoming</ST1:p (I lived in the <ST1:p<?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comCheyenne</font></st1:City><st1:State><font face=" /><st1:City>Rock Island </st1:City><st1:State>Illinois</st1:State></ST1:p with my husband). My husband and I had been to counseling for the affair(s), but it wasn’t getting any better, and he was drinking more and smoking more pot. So I made up some excuse and set a weekend to meet C in <ST1:p<st1:City>Lincoln</st1:City>, <st1:State>Nebraska</st1:State></ST1:p (half way between us). We spent 4 unbelievable days together, and I was feeling good again. When I got home, C told me that he couldn’t handle the distance, he was still in college and we ended it. Add 20 pounds. </FONT> <O:p My husband and I went back to counseling, but it wasn’t helping. I went into a severe depression. Zoloft. food. Add 20 more pounds. <O:p Sometime later that year, C came back into my life, and after he found out that my husband had threatened me with physical violence, told me to pack a suitcase and get on a bus, and come to Wyoming. I left my husband, and did. Subtract 60 pounds. C and I did really well for about 9 months. Then work was bad for me and school was bad for him and he got scared I was going to leave him, so he kicked me out. Add 20 pounds. Anyway *chuckle* Add and subtract around 80 pounds over the next five years – and another man who wanted me, then didn’t want me. C and I had actually found a way to stay friends over this time, and when the other guy broke up with me four years later, and I spent another year by myself, I went to Vegas (where C was living then) to see him for his birthday. We got right back together then and there. He moved to <st1:State><ST1:pCalifornia</ST1:p</st1:State> with me, and then to <st1:State><ST1:pOregon</ST1:p</st1:State> when I got transferred. We were really happy. Til he couldn’t find a job. (add 10 or so pounds). So he went into the Navy (subtract 50 pounds), and about six months later, when 9/11 happened, we got married. Lived apart while he finished school in <st1:State><ST1:pConnecticut</ST1:p</st1:State> and I worked in <st1:State><ST1:pOregon. </ST1:p</st1:State>Then when he got his submarine assignment in VA, I quit my job and moved to be with him finally. Things were very good until last year, when his dad died. (add 70 pounds over that time – maybe 2 years?) He got – weird on me – and again, I started looking for validation with other men, and actually had an affair (1 weekend) with a guy. He still doesn’t know that, but last October, I moved out of our apartment and back to <st1:State><ST1:pWisconsin</st1:State> for us to “think” and for him to prepare to go <ST1:pGuam. We speak about once a week. We still love each other. But he’s unhappy with his navy career, and I am unhappy with my self-esteem and my weight. I’m fixing mine now. His – well, unless he finds a way to be happy there, he won’t be able to fix it. Anyway. In the past, when I’ve lost weight, it’s because bad. I could never seem to do it when I was happy. Losing weight hasn’t really ever been a problem for me. It’s keeping it off that’s the issue. Food is comfort. Food is celebration. Food is habit, a boredom-cure, a reward. I’ve always hidden food, always been the secret fast-food eater, always waited until I was alone before I pigged out. What has become abundantly clear to me now (as you can see, cause I’ve actually written it out above) is that I have always looked outside myself for validation on being a good person, and I have always based being “good” on how attractive I was to other people. This is something I’m working through now. I’d love to do it with a therapist, but the military insurance only covers so much, and I’m not currently working. So I read other people’s stories (like these in this thread and goddess bless you all for writing them) and I read books and articles on the web and I find things that truly hit home with me. And then I take a deep breath. And realize I am not alone. And part of me feels just a little bit better each time. My decision to get the band was well over a year in the making. I knew I was going to do it when I moved here. I put it off – for a reason still unclear to me – until this spring when I finally started the process. And even though it’s been less than a week since my surgery, I cannot begin to tell you how much lighter inside I already feel. Cause this is ME time. And I’ve taken control of it. My self-worth will no longer be determined by anyone but ME. I am a princess! Either treat me like one, or go away <O:p Okay well that was a lot longer than I intended /blush. If you made it all the way through, thanks for listening :Bunny

Greetings My name is Jill - got banded on Monday 9/19. I'm a little sore still (better than yesterday though) and even coughing isn't so bad. I'm trying to stay off the pain meds today, we'll see how I do My weight problems have been lifelong, and while losing weight was never a problem, keeping it off was, and the band for me, is my last shot at doing it *right*. I see my father and my aunt - 65 and 67 years old - so morbidly obese, and at 40 years old, I don't want to head down that road. I hope to participate lots here

Banded on 9/19. Pain is almost gone, although I am burping a lot and it hurts! lol. I have a little shoulder pain and the heating pad trick did not work for me, so I'm just moving as much as possible. Coughing doesn't hurt anymore which is wonderful! I know this 2 week Clear liquids is gonna tear me up. I don't have any trouble getting my 64 ounces of Water down, and I'm drinking juice as well. Atkins Protein shakes, sf Jello, blended yogurt(all allowed) but I'm dying for something less sweet. I'm more of a salty kinda person and all this sweet stuff is getting old. I keep looking at the box of instant potatoes in my cupboard and drooling :/ Even some blended Soup or a milkshake with skim milk and low-carb ice cream would be a nice change. Congrats to everyone banded this month