RILEYSMOM22

First off, don't let him pay for your beer. He may insist, but if he pays, it screams "date".

I am just over a year out. My hair started to fall out just when they said it would. It has recovered somewhat. I am just waiting for the regrowth to catch up. To cope with the thinning, I went shorter and layered. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

From Buffalo, Sleeved by Dr. Caruana a year ago.

Eat something... Yogurt or milk Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I talk openly about my surgery with anyone who seems interested. I sometimes feel the need to explain when a man buys me dinner and I only eat a small amount of it. "Didn't you like it?", etc. Frequently, there is no second date and I blame it on that (because it cannot be that my sparkling personality turned them off!). I have had a couple men immediately mention skin removal after I've told them about the surgery. I wonder if they have seen TV shows or articles about weight loss and all that excess skin is what they envision....I don't know.

My doc had me try eggs the second week and it was tough. It felt like I had swallowed a rock. However, just a few days later, it was fine. It all depends on how quickly you heal and when the swelling goes down.

Thank you! I wish I was making this stuff up. There are some nice, educated older men in Oregon but it seems only the losers reply to my profile. I refer to myself as a weirdo-magnet, lol. Hang in there, Mr Right will come along!

These sites should have a filter for men with teeth, like they do for smoking and body type, etc.

Hugs to you. So sorry for your loss.

Online dating has been an adventure. I recently thought I had met someone truly compatible. After 2 months, he tells me (in a text, btw) that he thinks we should both move on. None of the reasons he gave made sense and I could tell he was holding something back. Finally, he typed the words "I have never been with a heavy woman." I was stunned as we had been intimate several times and he commented that it was the best ever in his life, etc. I have lost 15 lbs since we started dating and 82 lbs total. He knows about my surgery and that I am shrinking. While I know I will get over this, I feel defeated and frustrated.

After surgery, I had a difficult time getting Water down, so carbonated beverages weren't even a possibility. Now, several months later, I have tried a diet coke and I can't do it. The carbonation is just too much.

Seriously? Please tell me this was not meant to be as mean-spirited as it sounds.

@@csawesome It takes a bit for them to reach the contrite phase. He is still justifying everything he did in his mind. At some point he will realize there is no good excuse for breaking your trust. Hang in there. Some relationships recover from this even stronger. You will know if yours can survive. In the meantime, get as prepared for the alternative as you can.

This past week, I had a nice, friendly lunch date with a guy I met online. The conversation was typical first date stuff... family, education, interests etc. He seemed very normal. There was no real flirting, no groping, or any of the things that previous weirdos have done. I wasn't really sure he liked me. Afterwards, I get a text "Don't work too hard. You have a really cute lisp." I read it out loud at work. My co-workers said "Did you lisp when you talked to him? You don't have a lisp." It was so odd. I ignored the message. The next day his text was "Do you want to chat?" I responded that I was working. He then asked "Would you like to be FWB?" I stared at my phone, stunned. Then I answered with "The nicest response that I can come up with is "Not my kinda thing" Unreal.... I swear I am a weirdo magnet.

Whew.... so much to say. I have been where you are...almost exactly where you are. It was 1997 when my husband had his first affair (or first one I knew about) with a co-worker. We had 5 kids, and he knew a divorce would bury him financially. He wanted an open marriage. I told him he was nuts. I went to see an attorney, who after outlining the divorce process, and probable settlement amounts, told me to stay calm and wait... this is a midlife crisis. So, I stayed. The affair ended,he apologized profusely and things were good between us until... 2004. It happened again. This time I moved out of the bedroom, and eventually, took the kids and left. They were older now, knew what was going on "Daddy didn't come home last night, mom." and I couldn't let them see me tolerate it. Your whole world has been rocked. You feel dazed. The future you envisioned is shattered. I remember all those feelings. But, like other posters have said, you have to get yourself and your kids through this as best as you can. Time is healing, push forward, and know that you will come out of this stronger, wiser....and with a rocking body!

Oh, for the love of God and all things dairy..... The white stuff in milk is from casein, a Protein, which along with the fat molecules, make the milk appear white. When we remove the fat, as in skim milk, the milk appears to have a bluish color. In addition, the reasons for weaning are many. Fertility is reduced while nursing, there is increased need for other nutrients, Fiber, etc... Most other species will consume milk of any type if given the option. We have the resources. However, it is tough for a kitten to milk a cow herself. "Lots of studies".... hmmm, really? Oh, for the love of God and all things dairy..... The white stuff in milk is from casein, a protein, which along with the fat molecules, make the milk appear white. When we remove the fat, as in skim milk, the milk appears to have a bluish color. In addition, the reasons for weaning are many. Fertility is reduced while nursing, there is increased need for other nutrients, fiber, etc... Most other species will consume milk of any type if given the option. We have the resources. However, it is tough for a kitten to milk a cow herself. "Lots of studies".... hmmm, really?

Sharon, I could have written this post (sans the poly part, because I don't share well with others). But, I too have seen glimpses of old habits sneak back.... glasses of wine, too many bad carbs, etc. with the accompanying stall. I pick a date to refocus, go back to some Protein powders and stock up on my favorite protein sources. That works for me until the kids leave a few Hershey's kisses laying around....

My new tactic is to only tell the ones I am not attracted to about the WLS as it invariably makes them vanish!

@@Desmond Longbottom http://www.spanx.com/mens-shapewear

I tell everyone, everything. My kids are always stunned when I manage to keep any secret. Between the weight loss and the hair loss, people would wonder if I was undergoing chemo treatments. I am content with my decision to tell all. The only time I have second guessed it was during a stall when it seemed everyone was asking for an updated weight loss total... and it hadn't changed in a couple of weeks. That being said... If you don't want to tell, don't tell. It's your body, your life, your business.

I had a paid subscription to a service. It claimed to give current addresses, phone numbers, along with criminal background. It was somewhat useful. However, I checked myself and the information wasn't very current, especially phone numbers.

That makes me want to do a background check on all men I date.

I have a good friend that does approvals for BC/BS. While they are not my insurance carrier, it was interesting to see the process from her perspective. She said that she rarely if ever denies bariatric surgery if the BMI is over 35. The rest of the hoops you jump through are just a formality. My surgeons office knew exactly what I needed to do and how to submit each part of the requirements. I needed a letter from my primary doc stating she had supervised my diet and exercise for at least 6 mos. They didn't require a log or any notes. There was no minimum weight to be lost prior to surgery either. Your surgeon's office should be your best resource.

@@lilbeanie We had surgery on the same day! I'm not losing nearly as much as I was. AND... I see new growth along the hairline. I have gone to a chin length layered cut. It has some natural wave, which keeps me from looking too scalpy. I try to only shampoo every other day, but I usually wake up the second day looking a bit witchy. I spray it with a leave in conditioner and scrunch it. That helps.