WestCoastFatGuy

You're falling into the same trap that I've always done (and desperately hope not to do again!) and let the screw-ups of others affect YOU! I can't for the life of me figure out why we sabotage ourselves this way. I joined Weight Watchers 3 different times over the years and each time did very well until I hit a plateau for a few weeks and had some nasty WW employee make a snide remark to me. Once that happened, I gave up. I got soooo d*mned mad that I couldn't just get away with wringing their freakin' necks that I ended up resorting to the only 'control' I had.. what I ate. And I ate and ate and ate. I guess I somehow thought I was getting revenge on them or something. The only person that ended up suffering is me. And, maybe that's the problem. Maybe because we're fat, we somehow subconsciously believe that we don't deserve better... that everyone and everything will eventually fail us... except for food. And, how freakin' sick is that? How warped have we allowed our brains and self-esteem to become? You know as well as I do that if you (and I can easily put myself into your place and see myself doing the same thing you did) were and are not happy with your surgeon that you have the power to find a better one. But, chances are you're stubborn (like me) and are sick to death of the unfairness of it all and have just sunk your heels in and refuse to budge. It's like the battle of the wills... only you're only battling yourself. Unfortunately, in a fight.. one person loses. When we're fighting ourself... who loses? We do! Because we're fighting both sides of the argument against OURSELVES! Only WE can make the difference. Only WE can make the change. You have had HUGE ENORMOUS weight loss SUCCESS! You deserve the best that you can give yourself and you NEVER deserve to let yourself down. Even as I type this to you, I am telling myself the same thing. My body is in a water-retention mode... and despite doing everything by the book, the scale is going up. In a few days I'll p*ss like a racehorse and the scale will drop... and then start right back over in sucking up Water like a camel. If it wasn't for the band, baby, I'd be eating everything in sight just because I'm soooo stinking mad about it. Cause that's what I'm used to doing. Get mad... EAT. Get sad... EAT. Get happy....EAT! Yes, there are days that I hate this stupid piece of silicone wrapped around my stomach... but the days that I hate it the most are the days that I know (despite the fact that I don't want to face it) that I need it the most. ButterKup... you ARE going to get past this. You ARE going to prevail despite the f*cked up state of our medical system. You ARE strong and vibrant and your previous weight loss proves that. We're all behind you and you are NOT ALLOWED TO FAIL! Got it?!? Good!

A bit more terrifying is the thought that they just might have had to hold MY boob, too. I may be one of the only people on these boards (since you're mostly women) that won't be unhappy to lose my boobage. :drool:

The band can turn you into a real cheap date as far as liquor goes. At my current weight, pre-band, I could drink several (5 or 6) stiff drinks and just be feeling a buzz. Now, one good drink and I'm like, "wow! I better slow down!"

Here's a toast to liberation! Way to go!!!! :regular_smile:

The visual of this brought tears to my eyes. In my mind I'm picturing you doing so with a "you want me, baby? You want this? You KNOW you do!" look of confidence on your face. I know, I know... I've got to get out more... but it sure made me laugh! Thanks!

Pangs? What pangs? You mean the ones that caused me to want to rip the bottle of Coca-Cola from the nice, skinny-*ssed lady who was loading it into her cart for her probably equally nice, skinny-*ssed family? No, I'm not having any pangs. :regular_smile:

My surgeon didn't say that I couldn't wear pantyhose, but I think he might be taken aback if I showed up in them. :eek:

Doc said 6 weeks from my surgery date (Jan. 14)... and frankly, my port is still pretty sore at times. I can't imagine putting any further stress on it. I have a pretty deep indention from the port because he had to do some heaving to sew that thing to my fat ole gut. He was probably sweatin' pretty good when he was done. On the bright side, at least I'll know I've lost a considerable amount of weight when I no longer have the indent. It's like a pop-up timer in a turkey. I'll know I'm done when my port is an outtie instead of an innie! :eek:

Consider this a kick in your @ss to get you going again. You've lost soooo much weight already. You are amazing! Chalk the bad choices up to stupidity and the Stupid-Bowl and jump back on the lapband wagon. You ARE going to be successful. You ARE! Now stop beating yourself up and treat yourself right! Don't make me have to become a lapband stalker! :eek:

Alive and well... still getting used to eating like a supermodel instead of a food-eating-champion... but I suppose that's to be expected. The losing game is interesting. Lose some... stay the same for a day... gain 2 pounds the next day... stay the same for week... lose 3 pounds... lather, rinse, repeat. Still trying to get the calorie/water/protein combo consistent. For the most part, am getting all the Water and Protein, but have to fight to get my calories to around 1000-1200 per day. Lower than that and I get cranky and my weight-loss stalls. It's difficult, though, to eat healthy with such small portions and still get the calories up. I'm slowly getting better at it, though. I'm already sooooo much better off than I was a month ago that I find it hard to believe. My range-of-motion and moving without fat pains has greatly improved. I just keep asking myself, "why did you wait so long to do this?"

I am from San Diego, but chose Ninh Tuan Nguyen, MD from University of California, Irvine in Orange, CA for my surgery. He's a top clinical trial Investigator and has a stellar reputation in all forms of gastric surgery, including lapband. I cannot say enough good things about my experience with him and UCI. Please feel free to PM me if you would like further information.

mamajava, How many calories are you taking in each day? From your posts (and I may be wrong), I'm gleaning that you're probably around 600-800 per day. If this is, bychance, the case... then you're simply not taking in enough calories. I was watching a bit of "The Biggest Loser" last evening and one of the trainers was quizzing her team so as to determine why they had lost the previous weight-loss challenge. She learned that the two guys (who HAD lost weight) were consuming around 1600+ calories per day and the two women (who HAD NOT lost weight) were consuming 1000 and 500 calories, respectively. They were all working out very hard, but only the guys were "feeding the machine", as she put it. The women, unknowingly, had sabotaged their weight loss by eating too little and actually slowing down their metabolism. I, myself, stalled on weight loss until I got my calories up to between 1000 and 1400 per day. Suddenly, I started losing the Water and the weight again. I'm not sure if this applies to you or not... but wanted to lend another possibility.

Here's a little tidbit from another doctor about the MGB (mini gastric bypass) that Dr. Rutledge is touting as the end-all-be-all. Maybe it's great for some folks, but so is the lap band and so is RNY. This guy is no different from any other doctor seeking patients except that he chooses to only give you the good side of MGB. In reality, it's too early to tell about MGB or maybe ANY of the WLS out there. We're all taking a risk for our health... educated risks, but risks none-the-less. Expert: John Pilcher, MD Date: 8/28/2007 Subject: Mini Gastric Bypass Problems Question QUESTION: Can you tell me what the long term complications from a mini gastric bypass would be. Thanks. ANSWER: Kim, I will give you the best answer I can, but this will have to be provisional information for several reasons: 1) I don't do the mini gastric bypass 2) The anatomy of the mini gastric bypass has changed over time, so it is hard to pin down 3) There is very little research available on medium and long term outcomes after mini gastric bypass One feature that has been constant in all the manifestations of the mini gastric bypass that I know of, is that bile and pancreatic juices travel up to bathe the stomach pouch and possibly the esophagus, before they mix with food and travel downstream. Constant exposure of the esophagus to these digestive juices can cause reflux/heartburn symptoms, and possible damage to the esophagus. There are not any reliable reports on how often this happens. In recent years, the mini gastric bypass has structured the small intestinal anatomy in a way that creates malabsorption. This feature is intended to improve weight loss by causing nutrients to pass through without absorption. It usually causes foul smelling bowel gas and frequent loose bowel movements. More importantly, this aspect of the operation can lead to very serious nutritional deficiency. Obviously, any bariatric surgical procedure can have complications and side effects. The impression of the bariatric surgical community as a whole is that these side effects are more common with the mini gastric bypass. The Roux-en-Y gastric bypass, the Lap-Band, and the gastric sleeve are all understood to give outcomes that are more predictable and more likely to be compatible with long term health. I hope this is helpful, Dr JP

There are also negative stories about all forms of gastric bypass, about weight watchers, Jenny Craig, Nutri-System, Slim-Fast, the Subway Sandwich diet and even about people who go it alone and just watch what they eat and exercise (are they REALLY getting enough nutrients? Aren't they BOUND to fail?). Remember, this doctor has a service to sell... and it will, justifiably, slant his opinion. It's just one opinion. In fact, my surgeon... whom I really like... told me that lap bands don't work when I met with him the first time. We talked about other options (including the gastric sleeve, which I wanted but wasn't covered by my insurance). Ultimately, I'm glad I chose the lapband (instead of the sleeve) and found that the Doc was just testing my fortitude to be sure that I understood that the band was only a tool and wouldn't work unless I did. I'm glad he was a hard-ass about it... it made me want it more and doubled my dedication to succeed.

I was very apprehensive about my overnight stay, but like so many others have posted... VERY GLAD that it was required. While the only real pain I experienced was immediately upon waking in recovery (before they gave me the fab-u-lous pain killers), it was much better to rest in the hospital for a day rather than going directly home. The adjustable bed... the attention from the staff and doctors who were wonderful and accomodating and quick to answer questions and offer encouragement couldn't be beat. I was hospitalized at the University of California Irvine Hospital and cannot say enough good things about my surgeon or the care that I received during my stay. All my worries were unfounded and I am confident that you, too, will be glad your insurance requires the overnight.

Big Wave Dave (in Hawaii) and his wife both have bands. She was banded a couple months after him, I believe. He has a post from 12-26-07 when he hit his 100 lb loss in 6 months. http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f84/100-lbs-post-op-47691/ You might pm him and get his input. It seems from his posts that it has been nothing but wonderful for them both.

Unfortunately, as in society as a whole... when people come together in a group for a common purpose there's a tendency to judge others who are not "towing the line" in exactly the same way they are doing. It's a sad commentary on the human condition. One minute you're their buddy, but as soon as you step outside the bounds you're the enemy. I've known many people who have been successful with 12-step programs for alcohol, but also a few who simply replaced their alcohol addiction with a 12-step addiction. They dealt with the alcohol part of the equation, but not the underlying causes of the addiction. In essence, they became dry-drunks. Knowing what is right for you and not right for you in the addiction community is a very difficult thing. Personally, I much prefer Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which concentrates on our thinking process so as to replace our disfunctional, convoluted thoughts into productive healthy ones. A 12-step alcoholic has to stay away from alcohol for life (as per the program), but a 12-step food addict is faced with the even more difficult reality that a person can't just give up food altogether. We have to learn to live with it. Imagine telling your local AA group that their members will just have to learn to live with drinking alcohol in moderation and see how long it takes them to show you the door. I applaud any method that works for someone. I just, personally, find the 12-step one very difficult for food addicts.

Hi Amber, I congratulate you on coming to your decision together with your husband. We all know that you can shed the weight on your own. The band is only one type of tool. I did a search for all the threads started by you and know how excited and anxious you are to loose the 100 lbs. Right now I know that you are determined, but also know that like us in bandland, you will face days of doubts. I'm posting the following from Todd Blog Todd Blog » Lap-band Journey about his ultimate decision to get banded. I'm not doing it to guilt you into getting the band, but instead to motivate you at times that motivation seems hard to find so as NOT to let the same thing happen to you that happened to Todd (gaining weight after deciding not to have surgery). I know that for myself, sometimes I need a kick in the pants when the going gets tough and I start to feel sorry for myself. Reading how giving up has affected others and their motivation to change is often just the 'lift' I need. From Todd's Blog... Just about six years ago I was sitting in the Gastric Bypass clinic listening to people talk like those this weekend of the “Gastric Dream”. When she said I was rushing into it I was sad, because she has no idea what the last six years have been for me. I understand she does not live in my mind and cannot feel what I felt being at 305lbs six years ago saying “screw that I WILL lose it on my own”. And then she was not there for the one hour per night lap swim then onto the half hour weight lift, the eating of nothing but meat for 6 months as I quickly melted away 80 lbs. When I had reached 235 lbs and my body stopped losing, I can remember like it was yesterday, saying I will never ever allow myself to get that fat again! I am now at 335lbs. Officially 100 lbs heavier than I was a 4 years ago. I cannot stop my addiction and the worse part is, when I swim my sholders begin to fail me and when I run my knees fail me, when I bike my ankles, back, and butt fail me. So where does that leave me? A soon to be cripple. Sure I could wait six months trying to modify my behavior, trying to resist the constant attack of the Cookies and crap that are around me at home and at work… sure I can try all of that and then what? In four years be here saying…. Four years ago I weighed 335 now today at 435 I am crippled, having open heart, and having joint replacement and…. NO NO NO!!! Not this time! God has the power to take away my surgery and he did not. I asked and still ask. “God, if this is not the right way to handle this then please take it from me.” In return god gave me the insurance acceptance at 100%. I have heard no words saying no, so I am proceeding under the assumption that god has blessed my decision to do this. If he did not all he would have had to do is deny my insurance request. Sitting in that office this weekend, I asked everyone around me if their insurance coved it… No, no. no. no. no. no. Wait a minute, you mean you have united health care, you have a higher BMI than I, you are on high BP meds, you have more co-morbitity than I do and you were denied? Thank you god for gifting me with this. Thanks to Todd for his inspiration blog.

Hey there, zetajenn, OMG! I was TOTALLY freaked out at times. I went from feeling okay to great... to being totally mind-blown. "I am a guy!", "Guys eat a lot!", "I now eat like a supermodel", "I am a freak!", "I'm going to eat like a freak forever!" Blah, blah, blah. Suffice it to say that all that crap was just my "inner fatguy" making one last play for my sanity and my body. I was banded on 14-Jan-2008, and can now easily say without reservations that this was the single best thing I've ever done. I finally have control of my self and my eating and my "inner fatguy" is pouting off in a corner somewhere because he didn't win. Poor little fat-*ssed guy. Don't you feel sorry for him? NOT!

Hey there, JP... Work sucks. No matter how we slice it and dice it, the best it's ever going to be is 'okay'. The reality is, we only work so that we can have money to live our real lives outside of work. To that end, please don't let some lousy-assed people at work that you probably wouldn't have in your life otherwise, get you down. Your weight loss is your gift to yourself! You may not have control of everything at work, but you DO have control of what you eat and how you choose to treat yourself. So treat yourself like the healthy queen that you are inside! You have already lost a TREMENDOUS amount of weight. Go to the grocery store and load seven 5-lb. bags of sugar in your cart. Take a good look at them, honey, because they used to be on your hips, your thighs and your bottom. Not to mention in your chins (yes chins, plural!) and your arms. But YOU, not anyone at work, LOST THAT WEIGHT! And YOU are NOT ALLOWED to take that away from you! So everything seems like a big steaming pile of doody right now. Big freaking whoop! It would be a lot harder to deal with if you were 35.6 pounds heavier, wouldn't it!?! You just keep your eye on the prize and be convinced that "this too will pass" and things WILL get better. You are becoming stronger because of what you are now enduring and you will end up a better person for it. Believe it, because it's true. Keep on keeping on... and keep on coming to here to vent. We're all here to support you and see you through to the other side of fatland!

Hey Joanna, Another 93 lbs their eyes will be all over your skinny Eva Longoria ass. And then you'll have the last laugh. And we'll laugh right along with you! Keep up the great work!

MamaJava, Sounds like Water weight you're gaining to me. Sometimes a body will do that when you least want it to. I was drinking all my Protein, all my water for the last two weeks and all I did was blow up bigger. Yesterday, at the advice of a friend, I had 33 oz of green tea (good ole caffeine; I remember the days fondly). Well... alas, I must have peed 20 times last night. I woke up exhausted, but the scale had dropped 3.2 pounds! I wish I could blame it on my time of the month, but since I'm a guy... I supposedly don't have one. I now realize that my body has a propensity to retain water and, realistically, it's impossible for us to gain weight with the restricted number of calories we are having. Stick with it... don't kick the dog or cat... it WILL get better.

The night before my surgery, as I was on Clear liquids and my two friends that were there to support me were scarfing down pizza, I was soooo close to backing out. I had had panic attacks two weeks before and then about 10 days out I had a feeling of calm come over me. That lasted until the day before and then I started all the "what ifs" and began bemoaning all the foods I wouldn't be able to have. Blah, blah, blah. I must have driven my friends stark-raving MAD! They were nothing but supportive and offered tons of encouragement and positive message. But to be honest... I wasn't into hearing them. I was into feeling sorry for myself and worrying. I finally went with one of them down to the beach (I had my surgery done in Irvine, California.. not far from the ocean) and watched the sunset and finally said, "what the &*#*"; you did all your research; you've come this far; get over your bad self." And I did. The calm came back and I actually looked forward to my surgery the next day. It went amazingly well. Far better than I ever could have imagined. Your feelings have been felt by hundreds before you and you are not alone, now. This is all a part of the process and is completely normal.

Excellent response, Gillie. That's a refreshing way of looking at things!

I don't know if this is a help, or not... but two things come to mind. First, is to be sure you have enough Protein (which, I understand, can help). Secondly, a few years ago when I was dieting I suddenly started losing hair. Now I have a good healthy head of hair and genetics that are supposed to keep me from going bald. I was freaked out! I went to the internet and began researching and found that one of the side effects of too much Vitamin A (in some people) can cause hair loss. I checked the vitamin pack that I was taking at the time and calculated that I was getting roughly 2000 times the amount of Vitamin A required by USDA. I immediately stopped the vitamin pack and switched to a different multi-vitamin with less A. The hair loss ceased and I stopped freaking out. Again, don't know if this will help, but I thought I'd offer it.