asnapril

I'm only telling immediate family.

I will complete everything the first week of November, I had to do 6 mo with a nutritionist. I am hoping and praying I can have the surgery in November.

I have been overweight all of my life, even as a toddler and I was a big baby. I've gone on just about every diet, exercise plan (including a gym with a personal trainer), and I've had some successes, but mostly failures when it comes to my weight. I was almost at a healthy weight right before getting pregnant with my first child (of 5), but during the pregnancy and an abusive boyfriend I gained almost 100 lbs. I lost most of it in a couple of years and got pregnant again and gained, again. I ended up marrying the love of my life from jr high and together we've had 3 more kids. He never says a negative thing about my weight. I've had a lot of battles throughout my life, including being molested by my own father from a toddler until age 14 when I put him in prison. I've overcome so many things, but my weight is the one issue I haven't been able to win at. I dropped out of school at 15, but managed to obtain a Master's degree. I have been looking for a job since December 2012 when I was fired for basically no reason by a lying boss who had only been there 2 months. I have had probably 30 interviews in this time (I've never been unemployed more than 2 months since age 16), but it's always the same thing everything is great over the phone, perfect interview, and either denial letter, email or nothing at all. I know my weight is part of the problem. So, I have to do a 6 month nutritionist, plus some other things and all will be complete by the first week of November. I have molina (basically medicaid) and am so afraid I will do everything and be denied coverage for surgery. I am at the highest I have ever been 411 lbs...no, actually I've lost 3 whole lbs. So there's my life story in a nutshell. I guess this is my rock bottom.