DevilDogsDiva

Hi, I'm Devil Dog's Diva......and my real name is Rachel. My friend Sha and I have been best friends for quite awhile. We are both Marine wives. We have Tricare insurance and they wouldn't cover the cost of a Lap Band, but they would cover the whole gastric bypass. I didn't understand this logic. For the longest time, we have both searched for ways to make a difference in our lives by losing weight. We both have sons that are the same age, and even though we have tried to do things by the book (exercise and diet)...we have not been able to maintain any results that we want. We even joked, and seriously considered, entering the Biggest Loser so we could have a shot at making the change in our lives. Yesterday, she called me because she found out that TRICARE is NOW COVERING LAP BANDS! Talk about excited! For me, I have always been overweight. I don't ever remember wearing any single digit clothes (even at the age of 12). I have had three kids since 2003, (two recent ones within the past 2 years), and I am ready to make the BIG change. I don't want to miss out on my kids' lives. I want to be the Mom who takes them to the park, plays ball with them, dances with them, can keep up.....not sit and watch in the distance. I want to be that positive role model. Not just that, I want to love myself. I do love myself, but I am not happy with me. My husband tells me that he loves me the way I am, but deep down...I don't think I love my size. I want to feel beautiful (those who are obese like me can understand). I want to walk into that 'skinny' clothes store and pick our a pair of jeans that are a size 8 and they fit great and look good. I want to order that nightie from Frederick's of Hollywood. I am sick of looking at my body in the mirror wishing I could just wiggle my nose to make it beautiful. I want to feel proud of myself. I want to prance around beside my Marine.....and feel like the most gorgeous girl in the room. I want to attend a military ball and not feel like the fattest wife there. People may knock me for feeling this way, but don't judge me....because you don't know where I have been. I want to finally make a positive impact on my life, my health, my mind, my heart, .....just me period. I always put everyone else before myself. I have learned that if I don't plan for me and take care of myself, I won't be here to take care of those that I do love. I don't want to miss out on a great life. I don't want to hate to clothes shop because I can't fit into anything cute, because they don't make cute things for big girls. I want to wear a striped shirt....and not feel like I could lay down and be the rug in my house. I just want to feel better about myself. I have tried everything, and no that my insurance will cover it.....I am going to get banded! I am so escatic! I can't even begin to describe my feelings. I do know that I am already having trouble on deciding what my goal outfit will be: that bikini I could never wear, or that beautiful ball gown, or those cute capris w/ that tank......it's just all such an exciting feeling. One of my main goals is to be able to work out with my husband. I want our family to become an active one. I want everyone to be involved....and ready for anything. That's just a little about me........and trust me....there will definitely be MORE to COME! Have a blessed New Year! I know I will!!