ralambert511

My husband is very supportive in my decision to have WLS. He is a healthy weight. But I am TERRIFIED to tell my parents, mostly my mom, and my brother. They are all overweight and I have heard them talk about/judge others for having WLS and I doubt they will be supportive. A large part of me wants to not tell them. BUT they live right up the road from us. I see my dad daily, my mom every other day, and my brother weekly. So I doubt I will be able to hide my recovery from them. Another dimension to all this, is when I'm successful I feel like I will have something like survivors guilt. My insurance will cover my surgery and I know that that isn't an option for them. So even if they were supportive and wanted WLS too, it's just not going to happen... I am so torn with being excited about the chance at a new life and scared of what this will mean for my relationship with my overweight family.

I've been listening to the Life Coach School podcast on recommendation from my therapist and she teaches that our thoughts create our feelings and our feelings dictate our actions. I bring this up because you don't have to "feel" like the "fat girl" if you stop thinking like the fat girl. Be proud of your accomplishments! You've worked hard and deserve your new body and life! Instead of feeling embarrassment for ordering the lite version, think, "I deserve this and I'm making a good choice for my health and weight goals." Thinking different thoughts will help you to feel proud and empowered instead of embarrassment and shame. Definitely check out the podcast because Brooke Costillo explains it way better than me lol I think episode 1 introduces the idea.

I loved hearing everyone's response to this because this is something I am currently trying to figure out. I haven't told anyone, other than my husband and a friend who as also had WLS, and I'm trying to imagine what I would tell people when my eating habits and body change so drastically. For those that told a portion of truth, have you ever had anyone come right out and ask, "did you have WLS?" I feel comfortable flat out lying to nosey strangers and telling part of the truth to everyone else. But if a family member asked me straight up if I had WLS, I'm not sure if I could/would want to lie.

I had my first in-person consult with my surgeon today. He was impressed with what I have been working on. Since I meet all the requirements and my insurance will most likely approve my surgery quickly, they want me to schedule my surgery date! I was not expecting to have a date so early let alone get to pick!! Since I have yet to tell anyone about my decision to have surgery I have no one to bounce my options off of so I'm coming to here for your insight I had originally wanted to have surgery in the beginning of January. PROS -I'll be on break from my college classes. -My husband will most likely be laid off from work for the winter. -My mom also has off from work in January. So she could help watch my daughter if she chooses to support me. - It's after the holidays. -It's the New Years resolution time so I will "fit" in with everyone else getting healthy/losing weight and hopefully won't have to explain too much to my acquaintances. CONS - 4 months away (what feels like a long time) - Cold outside so exercise would have to be at the gym. - Trip planned to Paris a week before surgery. BUT the first date available is as early as November 3! Which feels right around the corner! And is exciting and scary all at the same time lol PROS -I'd already be losing weight by the holidays. - No fear of gaining weight over the holidays. - Could start exercising outside before going to the gym. - Be on a (mostly) regular diet by holidays. - Be 3 months out and thinner for planned trip to Paris. CONS - I will have to juggle classes with my recovery. - My husband will have to take time off from work. - Most likely will not have family support by then. My husband suggests flipping a coin lol But I wanted to get some insight from you guys. What would you do and why? Am I missing any pros or cons?

I got lost in my months lol You are correct my trip to Paris will only be 2 months out. Thanks for your thoughts

I am by nature a private person. When I had my gallbladder out I told no one outside my husband except for my parents because I needed them to babysit my then 2 month baby while I was at the hospital and my husband was at work. I've decided to tell them. When I tell them I will ask for their understanding and support but if they can't or won't give it then I will just have to distance myself from them for awhile. I have reached out to a therapist to help me prepare me for telling them and to help me deal if things don't go smoothly. Thank you for all your replies. I appreciated everyone's point of view and words of encouragement. You all helped me to see that despite their judgement, I need to tell them for my own sake.

So after surgery it is suggested to take off 2-3 weeks off from work. I am a stay at home mom. I work once a week for 5 hours and I go to college twice a week. I was hoping to schedule my surgery during winter break to give me a break from school and it's not a big deal to miss work 2-3 times. What I am most worried about is taking care of my daughter right after surgery. Do I need my husband to take off from work while I recover? What have other stay at moms done for recovery?

I guess what my original post should have said was "my family will be unsupportive and I'm disappointed that they won't be there for me." Because everything you ladies have said hits home for me. I guess I just needed someone else to tell me that it's ok to not want to include them in this.

Thanks for the insight ladies! I had my gallbladder removed 2 years ago and recovered while taking care of my daughter without a problem. So I'm hoping my recovery will be similar to that!

Thanks Miss Mac! That means a lot to me! To answer your question, no I don't think I would feel guilty if a medical condition resulted in weight loss but I do think that I would still be concerned with my relationship with my family. At the end of the day I will do what I need to do and I hope that my family will be supportive. But I guess to mentally prepare for the chance that they won't be.