Wow - where do I start? First I want to say that I am relieved beyond belief to have found this forum. All of you that had a lapband know how isolated and frustrated you can feel when it is failing. I've been banded for 3.5 years. Initially lost 40 pounds and have gained 20 back. And that's where I sit. It wouldn't bother me so much, except that the band is also uncomfortable -I can't stretch backwards, I can't bend over with pants on, I can't sleep on my side without pillow support. You know what I am talking about...
Finding this forum has been my salvation.
So. I'll move on to the introduction. My name is Lara. Unlike a lot of folks, I have not been overweight all my life. In fact, I was slim most of my life. I am lucky to have a good metabolism. However, I have always been a HUGE eater. My weight didn;t get into unhealthy territory until I got married 10 years ago. It was a bad marriage and I was deeply depressed. I got pregnant and had a daughter. This pushed me into an even deeper depression. At my heaviest, I was 215 pounds. I was also desperate in my life. Bad marriage, lots of debt because of his irresponsible ways, unemployed because I was at home with my daughter. I honestly feel that I got the lap-band in an attempt to take back some control in my life - I needed SOMETHING to make me feel empowered again. I was working again and had to do something positive for myself. You have to understand, I am a strong, vibrant person by nature and I just wanted my old self back.
Then it got interesting...
4 weeks after my lapband surgery, I kicked my husband out. 6 weeks after that, he left the country permanently to avoid paying child support. He abandoned his 3 year old daughter, left me with a house in foreclosure, many 10's of thousands of dollars in debt, etc. I think that all this pressure made it impossible for me to focus on my weight loss. I did lose weight, but I was not all learning how to maintain it over time - I was just getting by emotionally.
Fast forward 3+ years: my life is AWESOME! My daugher is thriving. I have an amazing job where I make great money and work with great people. I have a man in my life who is perfect for me in every way. I love where I live. I turned my finances around and am excited about my future.
But, the weight came back. I am maintaining at 195. I am really tired of the lapband discomfort. I want to get it out, but I am afraid I would baloon up, so I have decided on a VSG revision. I have been lurking here for a while and the stories are truly inspirational. I will be self-pay so I have to wait until October to save the money - but now that I have decided, I can't wait!!!!
To all of you that are brave enough to share your stories: thank you. To all of you that participate here without judgment: thank you.
Looking forward to meeting each and every one of you---
Lara
Current weight: 195
Surgery weight: TBD
First goal: 175 - lowest weight with band
Second goal: 160 - weight before it all got out of control
Third goal: 145 - weigh the same as my partner
Fourth goal: ??? Not sure what the ultimate goal is. I'll have to think about it :-)
