Caitlin_White

I started this journey over a year ago, and I still haven't went through with it. I've started and stopped 3 times and I'm completely petrified. I don't want to go through life hating myself like I do now. I want a husband and beautiful children and to be a hot mom. Heck, I want to be a hot woman. I'm 19 and around 340 and I've actually lost like 50 pounds this year just bc I'm busy and way more active and never eat.. (College life) my dad and grandmother both went through the top surgery where they take out intestines and everything (I forget the name) but they have problems with diarrhea and my dad has awful awful gas.. Plus I don't want to tie myself down to taking so many vitamins and getting sick if I don't eat protein. I'm way overweight right now, but I'm relatively healthy. The worst thing I deal with is PCOS which is another reason losing weight is a big deal for me. My insurance has already approved, I'm just so scared and don't want to ruin my life before it starts when it comes to going out with friends and eating and I definitely don't want bad diarrhea problems or anything like that. Idk guys I'm so lost and I just found this site last night. HELP!!!