Mrs.Grace

I had tons of blood work run in October. CT scans of my abdomen and chest were done as well. I've been tested for leukemia, lymphoma, AIDS, etc. They couldn't find anything wrong. The only thing I can figure is that I have been grieving intensly since August. My grandson was born at 22 weeks gestation. We spent 4 weeks living at the Ronald McDonald house so we could be with him at the NICU all the time. He survived 4 weeks. After we lost him, his mommy, our Brooke, went into a downward spiral. We ultimately lost her on Christmas night when her heart could no longer handle the pain. Since August, my weight loss has ramped up again. My hair also started falling out again in early December. The only thing I can figure is that the grief and all the hysterical crying has sent my metabolism into overdrive.

Sweet Jesus, I stepped on the scale this morning, and damned near fainted when it said 101.4. Weighed three times to make sure it was accurate and had my daughter check hers as well to make even more sure. I can't for the life of me figure out what the hell is going on. I'm eating! Yesterday: Monster Musscle energy Protein shake for Breakfast, whopper Jr (the whole thing) for lunch, 2 1/2 Arby's cheesesticks for snack, Hershey's chocolate pie for snack, Checker's checker burger with cheese (minus the bun) and small fries for dinner. Plus I drank some Coke throughout the day, and I hate soda. I only drank it for the extra calories. That's a whole lot of high fat, high calorie food. I don't exercise. I don't leave my bed! How is this possible?! It can't be a stricture or anything like that since I'm eating and keeping it down. This is just crazy.

Can you see my profile picture? I ask because it's definitely not skin that is the issue. There's no turkey neck or hanging skin. It's bones. They are jarring to look at. Thankfully, my skin has been rather resilient.

That's quite a dick comment. "Rare in Alabama" I've been on both coasts. There's all body types everywhere. And yeah, I was still pretty damn skinny in New York during Thanksgiving.

If it were so easily remedied then you would think I would have gained some weight by now. I eat nuts all the time. Roasted, salted pecans handful after handful, roasted almonds, granola with nuts, P3 with nuts, cheese, and turkey. I can put away an entire can of the Planter's Nut·ritious within 24 hours. That stuff is like crack ???? It's definitely not my lack of eating. It will sort itself out, I'm sure. Then one day I'll be whining about needing a revision ????

Not a single bit. I was at 109 last time I talked to him in November and he said I won't keep losing and will even regain. He wasn't concerned. I have lost a little more, but maybe he's right. I don't know. He does have much more experience with this than I do. It seems that the vast majority of people have a regain after a couple of years, so hopefully I'll gain a little eventually. The loss has definitely slowed down as I've been hanging out around the 105 - 106 mark for about a month. It's just frustrating because I know I look bad, but the comments from family and friends are hurtful even though they mean well and are simply worried.

It is possible. I'm proof of that. It quite sucks.

I'm eating between 2,000 and 2,400 calories a day with absolutely zero exercise ( by zero I mean I literally don't get out of bed) and still am not gaining. I'm eating Hershey's chocolate pie, chips, fries chicken, extra protein shakes with 40 grams of carbs daily, and still nothing. I never cut out carbs even from the beginning. My blood pressure never gets above the 80's/50's anymore and often bottoms out much much lower. Doctors say I need to gain 20 lbs and tell me to eat French fries with extra salt and other junk. I am eating. I'm not gaining. They are super unhelpful. I figure I'll either stabilize eventually or I won't. It is what it is. Sure never thought I'd be in this position.