Clementine Sky

It's not a secret, but it is private. My husband, parents, and physicians are the only ones who know because they're the only ones I feel need to know, and they provide me with all the support I need.

I don't have my packing list saved on this laptop, but this one is similar to mine: https://4ortyby4orty.wordpress.com/2014/07/07/packing-for-the-hospital-stay-a-brand-new-me/ I love Smith's rosebud salve. It helps with dry lips. I also brought my laptop that I'd put some movies on, and an HDMI cable to hook it up to the TV since I knew I was going to be in a private room. I mainly slept during recovery, but it gave my parents who came with me to be my support team a way to pass the time. I always pack a small extension cord to plug in my phone, laptop, iPad, and the like. Some people who've flown for the surgery said that having a small travel pillow can help to prevent the seat belt on the plane from touching your healing incisions. I drove down, so that wasn't necessary. Make sure you bring your passport with you.

Our toaster also boils and poaches eggs. http://www.amazon.com/West-Bend-TEM4500W-Muffin-Toaster/dp/B008LTIYN2 It comes with a little cup that tells you how much Water to add depending on how you'd like your eggs to be cooked, and at the bottom of the cup there's a sharp pin to prick your eggs if you're wanting to hard boil them. That helps with peeling the shell. My husband's technique is to put a hard boiled egg into a small glass with half an inch of water, and then vigorously shake the glass for about 30 seconds. He can then peel the shell off in seconds. I have had less success with that method. I just put them in a glass of ice water, and then roll each egg on a hard surface before peeling.

Even with the issues compromising your health, I don't think you're in immediate jeopardy to anything life-threatening due to PCOS and obesity at your age. If you were in your 60s it would be an entirely different matter. I would definitely hold off on having the hysterectomy. You're way too young for something so drastic. Have the surgery and then reassess your health in a year when you've hopefully made significant progress and had some of your symptoms abate. I also have PCOS, and it's the primary reason I had the VSG. My endocrinologist recommended it because it's benefitted other women my age (early 30s) and size with PCOS who are hoping to have children one day, and who also are wanting relief from their symptoms. This might be of interest to you: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3334389/ and http://bariatrics.ucla.edu/body.cfm?id=115#pcos I'm seeing my doctor tomorrow for blood work. I've definitely had some relief from PCOS-related issues that plagued me before, like painful cystic acne and irregular cycles, but it took some time. The first couple of months were a bit of a hormonal roller coaster, then it became more steady. I very gradually tapered off spiro and bc and no longer take either. My periods began to normalize about 4 months post-op. I've lost weight at a slower pace, but I also was starting with a lower BMI, so that could have been an additional factor. I think you'll be pleased with the effects of WLS.

I haven't read through the entire thread, so forgive me if my post has repetitive information. Your stomach hasn't stretched, but it has healed since your surgery, thus allowing you to consume more without experiencing as much discomfort as you might have previously. There's a bariatric surgeon named Dr. Matthew Weiner who has a channel on YouTube with informative videos that I recommend you check out if you haven't seen then yet. He discusses common myths about bariatric surgery, including the misconception that your stomach stretches out. He explains how the healing progress impacts your feeling of satiety and comfort levels when eating. There are general guidelines for everyone who's had WLS or is trying to lose weight, but we also have to figure out what works best for us as individuals. Some people abstain entirely from all bread, rice, and Pasta, and are successful in their weight loss. Some have it in moderation, and are equally successful. I try to not make any food into a "forbidden fruit" by forbidding it from my diet, but instead have it in small quantities infrequently rather than habitually. Others go cold turkey. What's a boatload of food to one person is a reasonable amount for another. I think the key is to learn your body and your mind and do what works best for you. If you ate the second half of the sandwich because you were still hungry, I think that's fine. Your appetite can fluctuate depending on various factors, from what else you've eaten that day to your level of activity. There are days when I'm feeling ravenous and can eat more, and days when it takes me two attempts spaced an hour or more apart to have a cup of Greek yogurt. If you ate the second half just because it was still there, or because you felt compelled to finish it, then it's really not a big deal but you might want to avoid doing that again. I keep insulated lunch bags in my car and office for leftovers. I try to either eat when I'm genuinely hungry, or on a schedule (which helps me to avoid getting to the point where I'm so hungry I'd eat whatever wasn't nailed down). I don't really eat sandwiches all that often, but when I do I typically will take half the bread off and eat it open-face. If I'm really wanting something that feels like a sandwich I'll put the contents on a Wasa crispbread (low carb). In the early stages, tracking what you eat and focusing on your total goals for the day is helpful. There's so many useful tools. Many chain eateries let you figure out specific information for your meals through calculators they have online. You pick the bread, fillings, condiments, etc, and it then tells you the calories, carbs, fat. Subway probably has this if you're interested. I think what's important is putting meals into context. If you've eaten a flatbread turkey sandwich after a strenuous workout that burned a lot of calories, and you've had lower carb, healthy foods throughout the rest of the day, then it's not going to have the same impact as if you'd been sedentary and your other meals were carb-heavy. The Washington Post recently had an article about how it can be detrimental to cut your carbs too much if you've intensified your workouts. There's also plenty of research about how eating too many carbs when you're not exercising enough leads to weight gains or stalls. So you have to determine what works best for your own lifestyle.

I'm going to share my positive experiences with having the VSG with the hope it will ignite a spark of optimism in you about it. Besides my mild state of panic about having the IV inserted (I have a completely irrational needle phobia and always freak out about them, no matter how much I promise myself I won't) the surgery itself was as smooth as it could possibly be. When I regained consciousness I actually was confused for a moment and thought the surgery hadn't happened yet because of the absence of pain and discomfort. The anesthesiologist had done a terrific job. My period started during the surgery, and it did feel like the cramps had been amplified that first day. I'd brought a heating pad with me, and that provided some relief along with the ample pain medicine I was given. I was slightly nauseous but that abated when they increased my meds a tad. I slept for a few hours, and then felt ready to start going on laps. I actually was told I needed to slow down my pace because I was feeling so well I just zipped up and down the hallway. I slept very well through the two nights in the hospital, and during the day would snooze when I wasn't walking or watching movies. I brought my laptop and a HDMI cable so that I could hook it up to the TV and my parents (my support team since my husband was working) and I could watch them. I had the surgery in Tijuana, Mexico, because my BMI was too low for my insurance to be willing to cover any of the costs, and the facilities exceeded my expectations. After I was released I felt energetic enough to go to the little touristy area and explore and shop, and then chilled out by the pool at the hotel. After we left Tijuana my parents and I went shopping at the outlet just over the border before making our two hour road trip back up to LA. We stopped at a couple of scenic places, and at Panera for dinner where I had broth. I felt completely comfortable the entire way, without being burdened by fatigue or pain. The only discomfort I experienced was from an allergic reaction to the tape used over the incisions. They caused tiny, itchy, angry welts. Fortunately they healed quickly. My recovery was easy. In a way it was even enjoyable because I gave myself permission to just lounge around the house and recuperate. I'd stocked my kitchen with Protein powders, popsicles, Crystal Light, PB2, broths, Jello, and the like before surgery, along with everything else I thought I might need, and put the house in order so I could just relax. The blog site "The World According to Eggface" has a great post about things to stock up for the liquid phase, and I recommend that you check it out. You can also find packing list for the surgery on YouTube and this forum. I binge watched Ray Donovan and all these other shows people had raved about but I never had time to watch, read books, and took gentle strolls through the neighborhood. I'm a professor, and I started teaching one month post-op with more vitality than expected. I was back on campus preparing for the quarter prior to that point. I think if I'd had another job a total of two weeks off - one for the surgery, and one for post-op - would have been sufficient. I'd worried I'd be lacking in stamina, but was already benefitting from the weight loss in that first month. I've increasingly gained energy, fitness, and confidence in the months since surgery. I learned about my appetite changes and got myself into an eating and drinking schedule during the time in between surgery and going back to work. I threw up due to having the VSG just once. I'd eaten something that was spicier than expected, and guzzled Water to try to put out the flames. That caused me to throw it up. I was really sick in December, but that was due to a virus that several of my students had, and I would have gotten regardless of having had the VSG. It was a week of misery, and then I rebounded. I'd been a tad bit concerned prior to surgery that I'd lose hair, have loose skin, and would look and feel aged. I'm grateful that none of those problems became a reality. I lost a tiny amount of hair around the four-month mark, but it was only perceptible to me. My skin isn't the least bit loose, and my scars have faded entirely. You cannot tell I ever had surgery. I'm in my early 30s and am now getting carded again, and confused for being a student. Strangers have paid me sweet compliments. I've gone from a size 14 / XL to a size 6 and am still losing. The shirt I wore today was an XS. I have PCOS and have seen an improvement in my blood work and symptoms post-surgery (no more painful acne breakouts that throb all night and make me want to hermit at home because they are so unsightly). This time last year I was incredibly self-conscious and would dread the thought of running into friends I hadn't seen in a while because I knew they'd notice my weight gain. I shrank into myself like a turtle retreating into its shell then. Now I am emerging, blossoming. I am actually living my life instead of just existing in it. I feel freed. I had mentally prepared myself to have "buyer's remorse" because I'd read that it was quite common, especially in the first month, but I have honestly never regretted this surgery. For every medical procedure there is, there is someone who has had a painful and horrific experience. Someone who has had everything that could go wrong go wrong on them. There are people who've died from having their wisdom teeth or their tonsils removed, from reactions to OTC medicines, from childbirth. And we're surrounded by risks everyday - cars, tubs we could slip in, food we could choke on. You have to look at the risks of not taking action, too. Obesity can shorten your life, and it can shackle you to health problems. The VSG is really a low-risk surgery if you chose a qualified surgeon and follow the guidelines given to you. Many of the problems people experience post-surgery have solutions to them. As an example, some people with acid reflux problems have felt better by taking a PPI. People who are very fatigued might have a Vitamin deficiency a blood test can identify, and then they can treat. I felt better when I increased my Vitamin D. You're likely to be able to make it over any obstacle you encounter, too. Hopefully you'll go for this surgery, and you'll benefit from it like I and so many others have. Best wishes to you.

I can't edit my post, but I wanted to correct this sentence: "I've been using SLS products for years because my dermatologist recommended them back in college to help reduce the risk of acne breakouts, and they also are less damaging to your hair." I neglected to add the word free after SLS (Sodium Lauryl Sulfate). Oopsie daisies. I've been trying to avoid all products containing SLS for a few years for the benefit of my skin and my hair.

I only experienced minimal hair loss, but I've lost weight at the rate of an injured turtle. I think those who lose a more substantial amount of weight at a faster rate tend have more hair loss. I've been using SLS products for years because my dermatologist recommended them back in college to help reduce the risk of acne breakouts, and they also are less damaging to your hair. Loreal has a line that is readily available at most stores, and very reasonably priced. I also really recommend Nioxin's shampoo. I haven't cared as much for their conditioners, so I mainly use the shampoo and then a Loreal SLS free conditioner. I use a hair mask, or if I'm out of one coconut oil, once a week for deeper nourishment. I did take collagen for a couple of months based on a post I read on here recommending it, and saw an improvement in my skin but not a perceptible difference in my hair. I bought it on Amazon. I never took Biotin or any other Vitamins that claim to benefit your hair because many can cause acne. I have PCOS and have be really careful. I do take Vitamin D, which definitely helps with hair growth, and a multivitamin. I also try to get enough Protein in, and drink plenty of Water. I was struggling for a while to meet my protein goals, and adding in GENEPRO as a supplement (I'd never recommend it as a standalone source of sustenance or protein) helped me out.

Hopefully everything will fall into place for you quickly with your insurance and you can have surgery this summer. If it's crucially important to have it in the next couple of months you might want to explore self-paying for the surgery through a qualified, reputable surgeon in Mexico. My BMI was too low to meet insurance eligibility requirements, but even if they would have covered the VSG for me I probably still would have gone to Mexico to avoid all the hoops they set out and to move up the time line. I'm a professor and wanted to have the surgery in August with ample amount of time to recover before the fall quarter began in September. I was able to schedule surgery within a few weeks of contacting my surgeon's office about it. My out-of-pocket expenses if I could have gone through insurance would have actually still been about $1000 more than self-paying ($4200). I get follow up care through my endocrinologist and have consulted with a local registered dietician. Just a thought.... best wishes to you.

A few months ago I read a thread on here where a man mentioned using a Protein powder that is similar to GENEPRO but less expensive. I unfortunately cannot remember the name of that product, but perhaps you could do a keyword search and locate that thread. It's possible that powder is available in the UK. You could also try posting your question on the listing for Genepro on Amazon. Ask if they know of a distributor that ships to the UK, and alternatively, and if there's a similar product to try. Other Amazon consumers can reply to questions in addition to the vendor, and they might be able to offer more direction. http://www.amazon.com/Musclegen-Research-Genepro-Medical-Servings/dp/B00K6OSDYA

There are a few brands of Greek, Icelandic, or Bulgarian yogurt that are high in protein, low in carbs, and tasty. Fage is readily available at most grocery stores and Target. Trader Joe's has a plain Greek yogurt that is excellent, but you have to be careful to check the labels and make sure you're picking up the right one because they make several, and some don't have as favorable protein to carb ratios. Plain, unsweetened kefir also makes a good base, as does Fairlife milk which is higher in protein than most other brands. I began making smoothies using a high-protein dairy as a base with some lower-carb frozen fruit like raspberries. Acai is also lovely. Del Monte has no sugar added fresh peach cups that only have 12 carbs and are excellent in smoothies. Trader Joe's makes frozen sweet potatoes cubes that actually have less carbs than fruit, and I'll add a couple of them to a smoothie with milk and cinnamon. I also have made smoothies using unsweetened cocoa, PB2 or Peanut Butter, ice, and high-protein milk. Dr. Matthew Weiner is a bariatric surgeon who has recommended the "set point smoothies" to patients. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MxZYAwzPuk When I was really struggling to meet my protein goals, GENEPRO gave me a boost. It is flavorless, odorless, and dissolves very well into hot or cold liquids, as well as into applesauce, yogurt, Soup, and the like. Some are rightfully dubious about the claims that it has 30 grams of protein for a tiny serving, and I wouldn't recommend it as a primary source of protein. I only used it for supplemental purposes. I cannot have whey protein, and most plant-based Proteins were unpalatable to me. You can buy it on Amazon.

The surgeons I consulted with in Los Angeles were going to charge me between $29,000 to $35,000 since I didn't meet insurance eligibility requirements. Instead I drove down to Tijuana and had the VSG for $4200 with an excellent surgeon. No regrets.

My dermatologist told me that whey Protein frequently exacerbates acne in those who are prone to it, and can even cause breakouts in people who've previously had clear skin. Dairy products can also worsen hormonal acne in some people, so using milk as your base can compound the risk of a breakout. Fortunately, for me I can use milk, kefir, and yogurt in shakes without fearing an eruption on my face, but it's definitely something to be mindful about. This helps to explain some of the reasons for why whey protein can lead to acne: http://www.acneeinstein.com/whey-protein-acne/ I've had better luck with plant-based Protein Shakes rather than whey. I also loved GENEPRO. It's a Protein powder that has been heavily criticized on this forum for it's "too good to be true" claims about having 30 grams of protein for a small serving of easily dissolvable, tasteless and odorless powder, and for being so processed, but it's been fantastic for me. I used it for four months without experiencing any ill effects. I only stopped using it because I was getting adequate protein from food sources once I was fully healed. My husband is a physician, and a friend of his who is an oncologist told him that some of his patients going through chemotherapy have sores in their mouth that make eating difficult, so they have used Genepro as a supplement to add in more protein to their diet. He approves of it, which made me feel a bit more confident. It's definitely not an ideal food source, or something to make as a staple for your diet, but it can be useful as a supplement when your options are more limited. It can be added to broths, hot and cold drinks, and various foods. If you look on YouTube you can find videos by a bariatric surgeon named Dr. Matthew Weiner who advocates what he calls a "set point smoothie." It's made of high-protein, low-carb Greek yogurt (such as Fage), frozen fruit, and kale or spinach. It's a bit too much for immediately post-surgery, but a week or two down the road you should be ready for it. He encourages his patients to only consume protein powders in the first few months post-surgery when they cannot yet eat better, more natural sources of protein. Vitamins and supplements can also cause breakouts. I took Biotin a couple of years ago when I was regretting a hair cut and hoping for more rapid growth, and ended up with a war zone on my face because of it. I have PCOS and am very sensitive. Excessive B-12 also lead to painful breakouts. I do not take an additional B-12 supplement because of that, but do take a Multivitamin that has it in a smaller quantity. The vitamins I've responded to the best are Garden of Life's Vitamin Code Multi-Vitamin for Women, and Flintstones with Iron (one or the other, not both). As for topical treatments, my esthetician I see for monthly facials (and can recommend to you if you happen to live in LA) as well as my dermatologist recommended La Roche Posay's products, and specifically their Effaclar System. It's usually $29 for the set, which includes a face wash, clarifying solution, and treatment, but I spotted it at CVS earlier this week for $19. If you buy it, start off slowly because it can lead to peeling if you use it too often. I wash my face with the cleanser at night, and use the solution a couple of times a week. I put a very thin layer of the treatment on spots when needed. In the morning I either use Lush's Let the Good Times Roll, or simply rose Water. This routine has definitely helped my skin. My dermatologist told me to stay away from any anti-aging products because they are way too heavy for my skin. I turned 30 last year and freaked out about it, and went overboard on products. He said that water is my best anti-aging "product." It's true that any wrinkles I have go away once I've gotten properly hydrated. If you're older, that might not be the case, but regardless of age water can help to improve your skin's clarity and tone. You might also want to be careful about any laundry detergents, shampoos, conditioners, and toothpaste you use because fragrances and ingredients like Sodium Lauryl Sulfate can trigger acne in some people. I use Seventh Generation's fragrance-free detergent for sensitive skin, and no fabric softener (white vinegar works just as well, and doesn't cause your clothes to smell like you might think it would), and I change my pillowcases three times a week. I stick with SLS-free toothpaste that doesn't have whitening ingredients (Tom's has one), and SLS-free shampoo and conditioner (Loreal has a good line). Best wishes to you!

I've lost weight at a very slow pace in comparison to many others who've had the VSG, but that's fine because I'm going at the speed that works best for my body. I think it's an accomplishment that you've lost 18 pounds in five weeks! Be proud. If you're anything like me, you've probably lost and gained 18 pounds in the past many times. The significant difference this time is that instead of yo-yo'ing and putting that right back on, you're going to keep it off, and lose more. You might actually not be eating enough. Our bodies have evolved to make adaptations for our survival. In the past when humans were faced with famine and not consuming adequate amounts of food, their bodies would make changes to resist losing weight to help keep them alive. Today our bodies still get freaked out when we don't get enough calories, even though most of us who've had WLS are not in any danger of starving. We'll lose weight at first, but if we keep consuming less calories than needed the loss will usually stop or significantly slow down. I lost weight when I bumped my calorie intake from 600 to 700 calories at two months post-op. I'd been at 800 calories around Christmas, then went on vacation and came back to discover that despite having eaten more and even indulged at times, I'd lost weight. I do best in the 1000-1300 calorie range now (nearly 10 months post-surgery). Try gradually adding in more healthy, Protein or fiber-rich forms of calories, and see if that helps you out.

There's a difference between lying by omission and simply keeping personal matters private. It's your prerogative to share what you wish, and with whom. Everyone keeps something or another to themselves, or at least they should. If you'd struggled with constipation you probably wouldn't feel compelled to tell everyone you encountered about the changes you made to improve your bowel movements, because that's TMI. If you want to tell everyone who inquires about your weight loss, or to share about it on your social media, that's your perfect right. That's not a morally superior choice to keeping it private, though. Both choices are perfectly valid and perfectly ethical. The only ones who actually need to know you had surgery are those who are either personally and directly impacted by it or giving you medical care, such as a spouse if he's helped to finance it and is your support person, or your doctors. That's it. I had the VSG last August, and to this date the only ones besides my physicians who know about it are my parents who accompanied me for the surgery and my husband. Not my brother, not my best friend since I was 11, not my colleagues, students, or neighbors. My parents and husband have provided me with all the emotional support I need. I'm not an ambassador for weight loss surgery and feel no obligation to share about it with others. WLS isn't a new-fangled procedure few know about, and we're therefore compelled to provide education for. Those who are interested in having it can find information on their own. I didn't decide to have WLS because of someone else telling me about it. My reproductive endocrinologist recommended it to help me with fertility because other patients my age (early 30s) and size (14 at the time, with a BMI much lower than normal for the VSG) have benefitted from it. If I told people about my surgery, I'd then have to explain my reasons for it, which would entail explaining PCOS and my struggles with conceiving. That's raw and private. We all have our personal reasons for wanting this surgery, and we are perfectly entitled to be as public or private about them as we desire. When people have asked me about how I've lost weight I've told them the truth - I logged my food to become more aware of what I'm eating and make responsible changes, and I bought a bike and started using it to commute to and from work to add in enjoyable exercise to my day. I also tell them I consulted with my endocrinologist and followed her medical advice.

The maximum weight allowance on baggage for the last flight I made was 50 pounds, and one of my suitcases was right at that limit. Lifting it made me think of how I used to have that much excess weight on my body, every moment of every day. If you were to fill up bags with 69 pounds of weight and carry them around the house and neighborhood and your job for a few hours, you wouldn't scoff at that amount. You wouldn't say they "only" weigh 69 pounds. I think you should be tremendously proud of yourself! @@Frankie'sGirl really covered everything very well. She's absolutely correct that how much weight you had to lose significantly alters the rate of your weight loss. She's also right about the benefits of losing weight at a slower pace. I've lost 65 pounds since having surgery last August, and am elated by it. I lost very little hair, and my skin is actually tighter and more youthful than it was prior to surgery. Sure, others lost that amount in a fraction of the time, but that's them, and I'm me. You're you. It's not like we're on a race where we're all starting out at the same place, running the same route, and there's a prize for who gets there first. What's most important is that you keep moving. 69 pounds is a huge amount of progress! Don't be discouraged. Persevere towards reaching your goals.

I'm from a Swedish background but live in Los Angeles where there are many Mexican grocery stores my husband and I love. Their butcher sections have fresh seasoned carne asada, carnitas, fajita meat, and other yummies he loves and that are very low-carb and healthy. One of the stores has an eatery inside, and you can get just the meat and vegetables without rice or tortillas. I also stock up on cheese, vegetables, and crema Mexicana that I use on everything from scrambled eggs to red pepper Soup. All of us have foods that we adore but know are unhealthy for us. For me, not completely eliminating foods but permitting myself to have them sparingly has helped me to not feel deprived or to obsess over them. I had chips and salsa, enchiladas, and other goodies (but no margaritas because alcohol hits me too hard now, so I avoid it entirely) on Cinco De Mayo, but wouldn't consume them on a daily, weekly, or even monthly basis. I think you'll be able to still have foods that you enjoy post-surgery. Just pick out the ones that are the healthiest for you, and focus on them. Have the less healthy foods as rare treats once you're healed rather than staples.

I used to adore Diet Pepsi to the extent that I would make a special trip back to Ralph's when I ran out because the other grocery stores I shop at don't carry it. A nurse at my dermatologist's office told me that diet soda is "liquid Satan" and that everyone, regardless of their weight or health, should avoid it entirely. She was quoting from a popular diet book, but also was advising me to stay away from it because it lowers your pH levels which can contribute to acne breakouts and a duller complexion. That prompted me to gradually wean myself out of my habit. I still drank it at restaurants but never bought it for home. Since having the VSG last August I've had diet sodas five times or thereabouts. The last time was when I was at a BBQ and ate something unexpectedly spicy. A few sips of Diet Pepsi helped to put out the flames. Whenever I make something into a "forbidden fruit" I tend to crave it more, so I didn't banish diet soda entirely from my life, but I have it very infrequently. I've never experienced any ill effects from it, but I also am only having a few sips rather than a whole bottle. I also didn't have a drop of it until I was a few months post-op and well healed. If it's something that you have difficulty putting the reigns on, it might be better to avoid it entirely.

This is absolutely true. It's imperative that we equip ourselves with knowledge and be on our advocates. There's a wise balance between thinking you've got a medical degree from Google University and that you know more than your doctors and nurses, and thinking all medical professionals must know more than you do and therefore you should accept whatever they tell you without question. There's also wisdom in soliciting advice and insight from others who've gone down similar paths to your own, and can give you some guidance and pointers. Many doctors and nurses have never personally experienced what they are providing treatment for, and therefore cannot possess the same understanding as someone who has. Forums like this one are filled with people with firsthand experience, and they can share about that as well as knowledge they've obtained from their own physicians and other medical resources. My mom has Interstitial Cystitis, which is a chronic, exceptionally painful bladder disease that is frequently undiagnosed or misdiagnosed. She was finally properly diagnosed in the late 1980s when she was in her 30s. We lived in Florida and on a vacation to LA in the 90s she made an appointment with a urologist in Beverly Hills who had written a book about the disease. The urologist gave her less than five minutes of his time, and offered no true guidance or treatment plan. Throughout the 90s and early 2000s she struggled on a daily basis with pain. Internet forums in the mid-2000s through present day have helped her more than all the urologists and other specialists. She found lists of foods to avoid; ingredients in laundry detergents, soaps, and shampoo and conditioners that can cause flares; and received so many other helpful tips to utilize. She also found people who actually understood precisely how she felt because they'd felt the same. There's comfort and empowerment in solidarity. I created an account for her on Pinterest where people exchange recipes and advice, and again that's been more useful than what her doctors have given to her over the many years. I have PCOS and have benefitted from forums like Soul Cysters that are dedicated to it. It's one of the reasons why I've viewed this forum as a legitimate and helpful source of information from the beginning. Obviously you have to use discretion and filter out the information, but there's a lot that can be truly helpful.

I help to moderate the community forum for the university where I teach, and frequently encounter questions that have previously been asked and answered a multitude of times. The majority of the time the answers are also detailed on a webpage, in a syllabus, or in some other material readily available to the poster. Still, I can see the reasons for asking the questions and the benefit of doing so. Sometimes there's such an abundance of information that combing through it all to locate something specific can be tedious, so instead they ask about it. Oftentimes when people respond they not only provide the requested information, but personal anecdotes or advice in regards to it. So even if the basic information remains the same, it can be packaged with new information from various responders. On here I think it's sort of similar. It's also interesting to learn how different surgeons and nutritionists have different philosophies and guidelines. Some people have mentioned receiving binders from their surgeon's office, and depending on how it's organized they might not know where certain information is located within it. For some the whole process of WLS can be overwhelming and cause them to not retain information as much as they normally would, so even if everything has previously been covered by their surgeon's office and nutritionist they might have forgotten it. Some nutritionists and surgeons are very approachable and reachable by email, and others are not, so it's simpler to post the questions on a forum such as this one. There's also a lot of people on here who've sort of had a DIY experience for surgery. Since my BMI was under 35 my insurance wasn't going to cover any of it, and I chose a reputable surgeon in Mexico. I did receive information from my surgeon's office there. I also consulted with a nutritionist in LA my endocrinologist recommended. Still, questions have arisen at times, and it's simpler to look for answers online. I usually will do a keyword search of info from the bariatric centers at hospitals, but have also asked them here and received knowledgeable responses. The whole purpose of this site is to exchange information, experiences, and advice, and discuss bariatric surgery. To me this forum is a way of educating yourself.

You are right to have the mentality of "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." My parents were supportive of me having the VSG in part because of the experiences of one of my mom's college sorority sisters, who in her 50s was faced with needing to have double knee surgery because of her obesity. She instead had gastric bypass, lost the weight, and no longer required the surgeries. It was a transformative process for her that allowed her to really seize her life and live it fully again. They witnessed that transformation. Another friend of theirs did have double knee surgery in her 60s, also because of her weight, and it was a grueling, physically and emotionally painful process. Type 2 diabetes, heart problems, joint pain, and a plethora of other weight-related issues have plagued their friends. In your 30s you're old enough to make sound medical decisions for yourself, and young enough to benefit from the ability to recover more quickly and to reduce your risks of future problems that can rob you of your vitality. It's like an insurance policy of sorts that can give you some protection for your future. It also benefits your present. I'm in my early 30s and definitely view having the VSG as one of the best, most life-improving choices I've made for myself. I've gone from a size 14 to an 8 in the past 10 months, and gained a tremendous amount of energy and confidence. In part because of losing weight relatively slowly, but also in part because of my age, I have absolutely no loose skin. My scars completely faded. The younger you are, the more likely your skin is to be resilient. Leading medical institutes have done studies on bariatric surgery vs. other methods of weight control, and come to the conclusion that the surgery has more favorable and lasting outcomes for many people. You can get an account on MyFitnessPal for free, and there's little costs involved in exercise like running in your neighborhood. If it was as simple as tracking your food and working out more, why would any insurance company in the world agree to pay for expensive bariatric surgery? Maybe you could pose that question to your mom. Showing her the research on bariatric surgery might help to convince her that it's the wise move for you. You can also find research about the safety and efficacy of WLS. Of course there are risks involved in it. There are risks in vaccines, OTC cough medicine, Vitamins, dental work, and any medical procedure out there, but what's important isn't the fact that the risk exists, but putting that risk into perspective. The VSG in particular is incredibly safe if you use a reputable surgeon and medical facility. There are risks in inaction, too. You are young and healthy now, but you will age, and if you don't do something about your weight it is likely to increase and cause your overall health and happiness to deteriorate. You're not an impetuous 14-year-old. You're a grown woman already experienced with the frustrations of trying to lose weight with the methods your mom suggests. I definitely recommend the surgery. Hopefully if you can give her factual evidence about the efficacy, logic, and safety of the surgery in addition to your own personal reasons for it, she will change her mind and support you. If she doesn't, do it anyway. In time as you lose weight and gain more energy she'll hopefully see that it was indeed a good decision.

Does she consider it cheating when she uses tools like navigation apps instead of a map, a calculator instead of doing the math herself, a microwave instead of an oven or fire, a car instead of walking to and from her destination, an electric washing machine instead of a bucket and a laundry board, etc, etc, etc,? Utilizing an efficient tool designed for improved and more time-efficient results is the logical course of action in the majority of circumstances. If simply counting your calories and exercising more was the most effective way to treat obesity, there wouldn't be a single insurance company willing to provide coverage for expensive weight loss surgery. They view it as a tool that often leads to better, more lasting results than other methods. As with every other tool, it only works if you use it properly. If you had eaten milkshakes and cupcakes on a daily basis following your surgery, you wouldn't have been so successful at your weight loss. You didn't cheat at anything.

I'm so grateful to be the exception. Not only has my mom been tremendously supportive of my surgery, she insisted on paying for it and being by my side. I've made it into my early 30s without my mom having ever made me feel crazy or stupid about anything, much less personal healthcare choices. My husband is a physician, and I'm a professor, so she knows we're keen on educating ourselves before making momentous decisions. She's also known that I've struggled with my weight for years, and how it has impacted my quality of life in a myriad of ways. When I first told her about wanting to have the VSG she was mildly surprised only because she didn't think I'd qualify for it since I was a size 14, and definitely overweight but barely into the obese category. My endocrinologist had recommended the VSG to me because other patients my age and size who have PCOS have benefitted from it. I sent my mom the medical research on women with PCOS having the VSG, and she became as committed to me having it as my husband. Insurance wasn't going to cover a cent of the costs because my BMI was under 35, and she was initially concerned about that aspect. Local surgeons were going to charge $29,000 to $35K. My husband and I are still paying off student debt, so that was unfeasible. I did research on having surgery in Mexico, and sent it all to her. She got on board. She insisted on giving us the money for the surgery. Since my husband was working the week of the surgery, she and my dad flew out to be my support team and accompany me to Mexico. In the ten months since having the surgery, only my parents and my husband know about it, which has been perfect for me because they've given me all the support I need. I can't even put into words how much I appreciate her and my dad.

I just made one trip to Tijuana for the surgery, but have been there several other times for various reasons. I'd been in touch with my surgeon's office via email prior to booking the surgery. I volunteer about an hour south of Tijuana with my church group, so I've been to the city enough times to be at peace. When you are going there for surgery you'll be picked up at the border by a driver who has a pass for the medical express lane, which is must faster and simpler to get through. My surgeon's name is Dr. Fernando Garcia. I believe he does a revision, but I never researched that since I had the VSG. http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/369341-getting-family-support-for-surgery-in-mexico/#entry4174990 The coordinator he uses is based in the US and accredited with the BBB, if that helps provide any measure of reassurance.

My mom initially balked at the idea of me having surgery in Mexico, but quickly changed course and got on board with me going there when I provided her with the information I'd gathered. Medical Tourism has become increasingly popular because of the exorbitant healthcare costs in the United States. My husband is a physician and has had patients from his hospital (Cedars Sinai in Beverly Hills) who've gone to Tijuana and other destinations for various medical treatments because it's far more financially feasible. Some major insurance companies are even beginning to cover costs associated with medical tourism because it's less expensive on their end as well. For me, having surgery in Tijuana was the only possible way I could justify having it because of the costs. My BMI was well under 35, and my insurance didn't consider my PCOS as a reason for coverage. They weren't going to cover a cent of the costs. I consulted with the local surgeons my endocrinologist had recommended to me, but their fees ranged from $29,000 to $35,000. My husband and I are young professionals still paying off student debt, so that was an insurmountable cost for us at this point. The facilities where I had my surgery in Tijuana, CER, are brand-new. So new, in fact, that the one downside of them was the construction that was still going on when I was there and the noise that created. It was infinitely nicer than the facilities I've been to in Los Angeles. The staff were competent and caring. I checked the credentials and reputation of my surgeon in advance, and felt confident with him. He was kind and did an excellent job. I don't think the outcome would have been the slightest bit different if I'd paid $35,000 instead of $4200 (which included my hotel stay at the Marriott and all ground transportation). My parents stayed at the Marriott, which was a bit dated, but very comfortable, and the staff was eager to please. They were shuttled to and from the hospital every morning by the hotel van for free (though they always tipped generously) and even taken to a nearby shopping center where there's an Applebee's, Starbucks, and several other eateries and stores. Tijuana is actually prettier and nicer than many people realize. The border area is touristy and sketchy, but beyond that there are streets with manicured medians and pleasant areas. The hotels and the hospitals most patients stay in are in safe neighborhoods. There are some surgeons with poor reputations, like Dr. Almanza, but there are many excellent ones. There's shady doctors in the US, too. I would do some research on surgeons in Tijuana. Find out what facilities they use and the hotels their guests stay in. Present that information to your mom. Some former patients have posted videos on YouTube about their experiences, so you might be able to find some to show to her. I found pictures patients had posted on Real Self and this forum. I also wrote to several patients and asked about their input on their surgeon. The whole process was really simple, and surprisingly enjoyable for me and my parents.