mngreeneyes

I'm very glad I found this topic, though I'm not glad for what some of you are going through. So, firstly, let me extend my good wishes to those of you who are struggling to find support from your significant others.
I'm actually worried about myself, not my boyfriend. I'm incredibly lucky that he has been supportive of this process- he came with me to my surgeon's seminar, he'll be at my appointments (where a support person is welcome), he helps me with all the little stuff that comes up like running out for Vitamins, finding the myriad of different protein/meal replacement shakes at the store (trying to test flavors early so when it's time for the liquid diet I'm not scrambling to find something that doesn't taste like garbage. yuck.) All around, he's a great man and I'm lucky to have him. But, he's also the only boyfriend I've ever had. I'm in my mid-twenties and no other man has shown a romantic interest in me (if you don't count devastating moments in middle school in which I was informed that boys did have crushes on me but not my body- in other words, "I like you, but I'm too embarrassed to date you or ask you to dance because you're fat!)
Anyway, I'm afraid that with the sudden influx of attention I'll turn into someone I don't like and it'll be the demise of what I have with my SO. We've talked about it before, several times actually, but he doesn't seem to understand that this is a real phenomena for women who undergo this kind of procedure. He seems totally secure, and he's probably completely right to be, but what if I become someone I don't like? Memories like the one I described above can do a lot a damage to your psyche with this kind of thing, especially paired with a lack of love/attention from my parents as a kid. As a "fat person" I made up for the lack of love/attention by desperately trying to be perfect- super smart! super friendly! super nice! never, ever get in trouble! super dependable!- what if I find myself (subconsciously) trying this new outlet?
That was long, sorry guys!

I am preop so I can't wait to be cold! I am so tired of being hot and sweaty all of the time.

As for my pet peeve... its clothes! I love, love, love to shop and buy new cute things now that I'm smaller... but then they don't fit me 5 minutes later haha! I have donated, thrown away, given away, and got rid of so many clothes in the last 8 months I could have probably clothed a small nation! I have to dress professionally for work, so need things all the time. I do the consignment shops, and outlet stores mostly now. I am kind of looking forward to the day when I get stabilized at a size that I can build a cute wardrobe and know it will be there for awhile.

I think my biggest peeve when I was banded was servers trying to rush me. It would take me forever to eat a small amount of food and it felt like every 5 mins they would show up asking "are you sure it's okay?" Or "do you want me to pack the rest to go for you?" No, I'm not done and I just eat slow. Go away. So concerned with turning over the table. I was conscious of it and always tipped well and accordingly. drinks - I would just order Water and not touch it. I had a banded friend who would do the same but put salt in her water so she wasn't tempted to drink it.

@@kblbe98 100 and none-ya damn business pounds!

I have not had that happened, but oh my gosh I'm so sorry people are so rude! People are so shallow. Last I checked love was about more than I size. At least it is in my book!

@@scarletwitch19 Well that's because it's how it portrayed. You and I know the truth, all of us who have actually experienced it know. People are ridiculous sometimes. I think I'm going to go around pretending like I know what it's like to have a penis....yep I'm the new penis expert, just because I've heard about them!!

Good luck to us all...
Don't worry about what others think...
I for instance would rather them talk about me getting healthy, instead of talking about me at my funeral. Happy Place!!!!! .....Everyone one don't let negative take you from it. Every since I've started my journey I've been in my HAPPY PLACE( DAILY). It's been along time that I've had multiple days, unobtainable goal, that I believe in myself

LOW CARB and tell them you don't eat cake etc anymore...it has worked for me...the small portions were a concern for a while by some family members but they are used to it now...the less you entertain and answer their questions and comments, the sooner they will quit doing it. I just told them I wanted to live so I'm making drastic changes. None suspects a thing..

When a regular sized bath towel wraps around you WITHOUT any gaps! That has to be the best feeling. I realized this last night when I got out of the shower.
I even wrapped it past the gap about 7 or 8 inches. HOW FREAKING AMAZING!!!
Kelly :) :)

When you can easily give yourself a full pedicure.

If your family keeps pushing it then tell them that it is a medical procedure that has been discussed and cleared with your doctors. Those medical doctors feel that this surgery is best for your health and for your situation.
OP while you feel that VSGAnn2014 was rude I do largely agree with her. For the majority of the people we know well, such as parents and siblings, you should have a good feel for how they will react. So to be wrong on one is understandable but to be wrong about 3 is surprising. I told my mom last because she is the one that always tried to tell me how to eat so I could lose weight. She is 5'2" and at her heaviest was 125 pounds.
I decided to tell everybody. But I am not shy and really don't care what people think. Yes, I delayed telling my mother mostly because I didn't want to go over the same ground again. On the other hand I did tell her a few months prior to surgery. I really did not need to tell her anything at all as I see her once a year. She lives in AZ and I live in PA. She was very supportive.
If people ask why I am eating so little I tell them. "I had weight loss surgery in February. I eat lots of small meals, and I drink lots of Water." I mostly get "Good for you. How much have you lost?, Is it hard? what can you eat?" 60 pounds in 6 months, it takes planning but isn't hard. I can eat anything but since I need to eat so much Protein in a day I normally eat just Protein and green vegetables and I eat 5 to 6 meals a day. I exercise. Yes, I will occasionally steal a fry from DH or two bites of his ice cream". I don't mind when people ask how much I have lost since surgery. I think my attitude comes across as open and willing to answer questions so they ask them. Once again I am not shy and tend to be pretty assertive therefore I don't think people are going to say to me you took the easy way out. It hasn't happened yet and I started telling people a year ago.
I do not consider this surgery to be the easy way. However I will be the first to admit that I have had a textbook recovery. I can eat anything and nothing bothers me. I did not have gas pains after the surgery, I have never had low energy, I am ahead of where my surgeon expected me to be for my 5 month visit. But I do know it is more of a struggle for other people. I have seen plenty of people that at 6 months out the sleeve is still picky about what they can eat and drink. So while I reply that it has not been hard when people ask that is based on my personal experience.

I haven't even gotten my initial consultation yet, but I already know, a select few will know about my surgery (if I am a candidate). Not because I am ashamed of taking this step, but because some people just can't look at the good in situations. And that is sad for them.. I choose to not partake in the toxicity.. I will Celebrate with myself, and the chosen few.. and the other ones can wonder..
@Babbs.. I liked 'Living well is the best revenge".. I may use that often

What a great topic! I've enjoyed everyone's advice. I've had plenty of chuckles. We have some very creative people on this site!

A. It is NOT easy. Only ignorant people think that...

B... who gives a s*** if it WAS easy? Why should it matter? Is the coworker jealous?

I have discovered that I have 2 kinds of friends... the kind that support me.. and the kind that are jealous and think I am taking the easy way out. So I finally told them... Yea, This is the easy way. It will be easier to run, easier to walk, easier to live. That usually shuts their pie-hole.

Miss boosh10 from ? And Miss Raenh from Texas ? I don't know where boosh10 lives, but I think I feel a road trip comin on ! We need to go and open up a can of Whoop Ass somewhere !!!! Who's with me ???

Ha ha ha that's great. I also need to throw in there that I lived every day in pain because I have rheumatoid arthritis and mobility was limited due to pain and made exercising painful. And now that I have lost 75 lbs so far, my RA pain is nearly gone.

Wait until she says it in front of a group of people and then, in a performance worthy of an Academy Award that would make Meryl Streep look like a 2nd rate bit actor, tell her (while pretending to hold back your tears) "I have struggled my whole life to lose weight and went through weight loss yo-yo diets. I finally made a major lifetime commitment to have this surgery, eat better, eat less and exercise along with other lifestyle changes. I am finally feeling good about myself for the 1st time in years, I thought I could count on you to be more supportive".
Then quickly walk off and go to the bathroom, lock yourself in a stall. Someone will come in after you to see if you are ok, they will hear some muffled sounds that they think is crying, but it will be you laughing.
After this, she will earn the name you called her in this post by everyone else.
Unfortunately in life, you just can't physically "B-slap" people who really deserve it.

Mean people suck.
I also feel sorry for such negative/hate filled people. What kind of life is it that you seek to elevate yourself by putting others down? I have a strong personality so frankly never had to deal with this BS because i would just make the offender wilt under my interogation - ha... give me 10 minutes with her!
If it is genuinely upsetting I would complain to HR. I bet she hurts and manipulates other people too - most likely on a variety of subjects. I do remember once being made to feel about 2" tall by a guy I worked with (my boss as a matter of fact) relating to my single parent status. (The irony is that he divorced later and wound up raising 5 kids all by himself). In modern times, there are laws about hostile work environments and nobody should make you feel bad about improving your life.
Frankly, the very best "revenge" - the dish best served cold - is when you lose that weight and live a healthy, active life in your new slimmer body. Nobody will care if you took an easy, hard or whatever way... they will just think "woo hoo - look at that cute woman and her rocking bod!"

I'd just ask her, "exactly which part is so easy? The liquid diets? The getting your body cut open and having major surgery? The fear of severe stomach cramps if you eat sugar? The fear of choking on a piece chicken because it's too dry? Please enlighten me and tell me which part was easy, because (and this is where I'd drive the point home with a mean glare) it isn't easy and you need to shut your mouth!"

Blow the bitch a kiss and tell her to bite your ever-diminishing arse!!!

the few people I decided to tell I made sure to prep. I didn't just come out with "I'm having weight loss surgery". I told them I had something life changing to tell them and asked them to be respectful of my decision and be careful of their responses and it seemed to work. I don't believe everyone in my family has the right to know. I'm only telling a select few that I feel will be supportive and that I can call on. Just because we are related doesn't entitle you to know my business. I'm not even telling my mother because I don't want to hear the negative things she will say. Good luck with your decision. Think about it this way...you will have a lot of emotional overload hat you will have to deal with surrounding your surgery. Do you want to deal with other people's opinion and perhaps negativity with that as well?

I can relate. I am still very early (about a month from my decision) in this process, but I am not sure about telling my family either. It being surgery, so I probably will have to. Its not as though they won't notice something is up, but I just am not sure about their reaction. Is it better to "ask" for permission or for forgiveness? I know it will hurt them if I don't tell them, but they have never been good about being helpful on my other weight loss attempts. They do things they think are helpful, but truly aren't.
My friends have been great and wonderfully supportive. I have a couple of friends lined up to help/let me stay with her post-op. I have one friend that is supportive, but very practical, who has been asking good questions to make sure I have all the answers I need before I have surgery. My knee jerk reaction to her initially was I don't want to talk to you anymore, but then I realized that her questions were really valuable and came from such a good place. I have promised this friend and my boss that I will talk to my psych. about it and will follow his advice/plan of action about whether and how to tell my family. I have slowly continued to tell my friends.
I will not be saying anything at work beyond that I am having surgery. They will notice and I am sure ask after, but I'll deal with that then. Its truly not any of their business. I work in a terribly dysfunctional department so I dont' want to become any further a part of the dysfunction.

I don't really know he can be mean about it tells me I'm going to leave my kids an orphan. If something goes wrong. It's like he doesn't want me to better myself. My mom is the same way and I don't even talk to her about it anymore. My decision is made they don't walk in my shoes everyday or know how years of being overweight effects me emotionally and physically. I just keep going foward and try to get support and encouragement from those wh have been there before. My surgery is oct. 6 th. I hope you find the support you need. It is really a wonderful thin to have others believe in you so you do not have to go this journey alone