mngreeneyes

Thanks, Dub for the suggestions. I am in the process of switching from summer to winter clothes and I am looking forward to creating a box to sell in the Spring. They won't take them now at the consignment store. I like the ordering stuff idea. For now I am not buying anything but food. I have about 4 sizes of clothes in storage. (Don't ask!) so I should not run out of clothes or go naked anytime soon! I am looking forward to needing to do a little shopping next spring for summer clothes. pam

Thanks retzpa. Somewhere I heard that if they are prescribed then insurance will cover them, but I don't know how to get a prescription for vitamins!

Thanks for the suggestion about calling my insurance. I will do that right away. pam

I am preop, hoping to get a surgery date tomorrow. I just finished my veggies and beef and broccoli from Panda Garden (while reading Bariatricpal forums) and read my fortune cookie. "A fascinating project is in your future!" I thought this was an appropriate fortune considering where I am in my journey. My newest project is me! pam

That's awesome. I hope you saved that paper!

I am hoping to get a surgery date scheduled tomorrow. I have been selective in who I tell about my surgery, but the worst most nonhelpful comments keep coming from my father. Several people have been like "hmmm, that sounds like a good idea!" No one has told me I am not big enough. I have been dieting since I was 6 (I'm almost 44 now). My weight has always been an issue for my parents. I had a very large grandmother and several of my dad's sisters are pretty big. My dad has always been tall and thin and has never really dieted in his life. He thinks he's being helpful. "after my knee surgery, I won't be able to give you rides on my motorcycle until you lose weight. Maybe that will motivate you!" This was the day after I told my parents about my plan for the surgery. "I don't think you are disciplined enough for this surgery to work." This was after almost 2 years of working out 1-2 hours a day and trying to eat healthy and only losing 20 lbs. I am staying with my parents for most of my recovery so I anticipate several more comments post surgery from Dad. I just keep reminding myself that he thinks he's helping, he just doesn't get it. I think I have mom on my side to try and reign him in if he gets too obnoxious after surgery. pam

I am hoping to schedule my surgery in late October or early November so maybe I am jumping the gun a bit here. I've read the posts by married WLS veterans who have amazing spouses who have been with them through it all, but can't quite relate. I am single, never married. I have dated off and on since high school, but only had one long relationship. I am not in a relationship now and don't necessarily anticipate starting one before my surgery. So one of the many questions that keep coming to mind has to do with sagging skin and new "friends". When you are fat, that is obvious. You can see that a person is fat with or without clothes. If one isn't turned on by fat people, one don't ask them out, hit on them, etc. Once you lose the weight, how do you handle the first encounter sans clothes? Is it better to tell your new friend about your surgery early in the relationship before it is an issue, or wait until the clothes are getting ready to come off and spring it on them? Does it feel like a bait and switch if you look good with your clothes on and then "oh, BTW..." I carry a large amount of my excess weight in my belly so I anticipate a sizeable apron. Maybe I am just being a bit neurotic and should just let what happens happen. Any suggestions, anecdotes, advice?

Thanks everyone for your comments. I am focusing on the wrong thing(s) right now. What happens will happen. I am trying to focus on what I need to do to get ready for surgery. I get my psych eval results on Friday and my 3rd (last) NUT appointment is October 6th. Until then I keep reminding myself not to get ahead of myself. No amount of planning is going to change what I look like post-weightloss. Maybe I will even find a way to embrace it! Thanks again. pam

Hi all. I am Pam and I live in St. Paul and work at the U. I am 3-6 months from my surgery. I had my first appointment last Friday at Fairview Southdale. I am hoping for late October or early November for my surgery. I am still trying to decide sleeve or RNY, but I have some time yet on that. I am fortunate not to have an insurance requirement for time, just whatever my clinic has. Do you have any get togethers coming up? I would love to meet and talk to others who have had/are having surgery. best, pam

Thanks everyone for the great responses. I have my very first appointment on Friday. (I've been to the info session already). I have done all my homework about my insurance, etc. I have my Psych evaluation on the 21st. I have coworkers who I have told and my friends in my support system since I am single and may need to rely on many of them during recovery. I haven't told my family. I have promised my boss and good friend that I will follow the psych's recommendation on whether to tell my family or not. My parents have gotten more unpredictable as they have aged. I too think they will think I am taking the easy way out, but I also know it would hurt them terribly if I don't tell them and they find/figure it out. You have posted so many great strategies. Thanks again! pam

I can relate. I am still very early (about a month from my decision) in this process, but I am not sure about telling my family either. It being surgery, so I probably will have to. Its not as though they won't notice something is up, but I just am not sure about their reaction. Is it better to "ask" for permission or for forgiveness? I know it will hurt them if I don't tell them, but they have never been good about being helpful on my other weight loss attempts. They do things they think are helpful, but truly aren't. My friends have been great and wonderfully supportive. I have a couple of friends lined up to help/let me stay with her post-op. I have one friend that is supportive, but very practical, who has been asking good questions to make sure I have all the answers I need before I have surgery. My knee jerk reaction to her initially was I don't want to talk to you anymore, but then I realized that her questions were really valuable and came from such a good place. I have promised this friend and my boss that I will talk to my psych. about it and will follow his advice/plan of action about whether and how to tell my family. I have slowly continued to tell my friends. I will not be saying anything at work beyond that I am having surgery. They will notice and I am sure ask after, but I'll deal with that then. Its truly not any of their business. I work in a terribly dysfunctional department so I dont' want to become any further a part of the dysfunction.

That's a great idea. I can't do that with most of my family, but Mom and maybe Dad would come to an informational session. I want to make sure things are rolling and I have answers to my own questions before I tell them. Thank you for the suggestion. pam

I am just beginning this part of my journey. (This is my first post!) I had my informational session on Wednesday and have my initial clinic visit on August 7. I am single so its not a SO that I am worried about. Its my parents and brothers, to the point that I am trying to figure out if I want to tell them. I am the only morbidly obese person in my family although my mom's mom was larger than I am. They have never been good at supporting me when I was trying to lose weight in the past. I know they mean well, but they have a bad habit of fat shaming. I have promised one of my friends that before I decide NOT to tell them, I have to discuss it with my psychologist.Any suggestions on talking to them about the surgery? Anything that worked well for you talking to someone who hadn't been supportive before? pam