Sajijoma

I talked to my surgeon about what to expect from the recovery, because I have to have a plan in place with 7 kids. He told me the recovery will be very similar to my gall bladder surgery. So, what I had then was my abs completely were sore like the day after doing about 100 too many sit ups, and on the side where my gallbladder had been it felt tender like I had been kicked in the ribs, but I was up walking as soon as the anesthesia wore off. It was sore for a few days to the point you probably wouldn't want to get down in a floor, but I could take walks outside and less than a week after surgery we took a cross country trip and I didn't have any pain or discomfort at that point. I actually didn't take pain meds other than ibuprofen when I got home, because I was a new nursing mom and I needed to get back to her before I lost my supply so by day 2 I was basically pain free and doing well. So hoping lightning can strike twice and I can have a recovery as fast as that, although that was 13yrs ago at this point and I'm older so who knows.

I'd just ask her, "exactly which part is so easy? The liquid diets? The getting your body cut open and having major surgery? The fear of severe stomach cramps if you eat sugar? The fear of choking on a piece chicken because it's too dry? Please enlighten me and tell me which part was easy, because (and this is where I'd drive the point home with a mean glare) it isn't easy and you need to shut your mouth!"

I'm so glad you mentioned sushi because I LOVE sushi and wondered if that was doable post op. Probably not the way I stuff it in my mouth, but still doable!

Our insurance makes us use express scripts for anything that's not needed ASAP so maybe you could try online or mail order pharmacies? Usually you either mail them the script and they mail the meds or your doctor can call it in to the mail order pharmacy. With ours they have our credit card on file and charge and send the meds with no problems and you can have it overnighted if you need it in a short period of time.

I was ok from my tumble, but I was definitely in a lot of physical pain to add to my emotional pain when it happened for many reasons. just glad I didn't try to drive or something. It's funny how it's all wibbley wibbley timey wimey stuff when you are trying to sleep. Haha I go through conversations from 5 years ago and say "hey! Why didn't I say something" or "I wonder if she ever found Kelsie's shoe" it's funny how right as I'm suppose to go to sleep this always happens or music lyrics blare through my brain. Hard to sleep when the brain has been deluged with the Belly Button Song all day long and thinks you'd like to just hear it one more time!(look it up on YouTube under Rhett and Link and then belly button) all their songs stick to my head and replay at night.

Before killing him in his sleep with a pillow(I know I considered it w/ mine LOL), try approaching it another way. When I told my husband I wanted WLS he told me to just go on a different diet and maybe it would be different.(I'd been on one for a year at that point and had lost 3 lbs). He got angry, he cut me off and wouldn't let me talk, and he even tried to pull out the kids and use them as a weapon saying that I would be stealing away their Christmas presents to pay for it. I couldn't get through to him speaking, so I wrote him a long letter and told him at the end after he had read this, I wanted him to come talk to me. I poured my heart out in that letter. I didn't hold back. I told him why I needed this, how it was going to help me, how it would effect all of us for the positives, how my life expectancy would grow, I wouldn't live in fear of getting diabetes, and all the statistics I could find on wls from survival rates, 5yr survival at my BMI range without wls, my fear of dying I front of our kids from a heart attack, just everything I kept inside. I told him how important it was for me to have his support and not feel like I have to choose between him and my life. They should be 2 things that go together. I basically had to sell it to him. It wasn't because he didn't care or was trying to be insensitive to my needs. He honestly did not understand my struggle and was afraid I was going to do something hair brained to try to get skinny at a huge cost of money and possibly my life. We used to watch 600lb Life together and there were several people who died. By explaining my side and giving references to websites with facts, he was able to research for himself and see that it was a good idea. You can still eat out after wls, but instead of buying 2 entrees, maybe you buy one and split or or if he's not a sharer, maybe buy 1 entree and one healthy appetizer as a meal for you. You just need to get both your sides heard and come to an understanding. When I was done, and then we were done talking, we both knew this is what I need and he's behind me. He actually surprised me the other day and said that he doesn't want me to wait til Christmas if I get approved earlier so I could be on the road to a healthier me sooner. Last night he gave me a magazine that listed some good family friendly hiking trails in our area, because I'd like to be able to go on nature hikes but my weight makes it hard to even stand for 30 mins at a time much less enjoy a hike! It didn't all happen over night, but as he began to let it all sink in, he's really become a big supporter for me getting this done.

Congratulations for taking that first big step. If you have GERD, your surgeon is probably going to recommend you go with the roux en Y bypass, because both the sleeve and band can make GERD way worse. Also, for long term data of sustainable results, the bypass has better results and better results at resolving diabetes, sleep apnea, and other co morbidities. If you have just a bit to lose, like 70-100lbs you might look into other options like the vblok which is kind of neat, but for someone like me, at 410lbs, that's not going to really put a big enough dent in the excess I need to lose. One of the things that settled me on the bypass vs sleeve is that the sleeve is defeatable and if you sneak a piece of cake or have some ice cream, it's going to go down and you are going to gain weight and all this will be for naught. If you have the bypass and you try to sneak that cake, you are flirting with dumping syndrome which for me is the monkey that's going to slap that food right out of my hand, because I had something similar whenever I ate high fat, spicy, or dairy laden foods after having my gallbladder out and that pain was so intense, there's no cake worth even flirting with that possibly happening. Also, if you developed some complications later on, the bypass could theoretically be taken down, but with the sleeve, that big chunk of your stomach is gone and there's no going back if you need it. You just have to deal, so that's another thing to think about.

I trust my NUT completely. As soon as we started talking, I knew right away that she wasn't in it for the money. She was in it to help me succeed and just happens to pay her bills doing so. That makes a HUGE difference. I've had dieticians and nutritionists whose only goals were to berate me or make me feel wholely inadequate with comments like "You can't tell me you know how to eat a healthy diet and weigh what you do. You don't know anything!" or when there's no weightloss accuse me of cheating on the plan, which I haven't. Or just treating me like a total imbecile and pulling out the plastic food portions and having mock dinner parties and then saying "well, you don't really eat like this otherwise you wouldn't be here." Having that trust and faith and just general feeling of being able to be open and honest without judgement from your NUT is paramount to success in the process. This is the person we are going to rely on to teach us how to eat and live with our new pouch. The rules are different on the other side and we can't just be expected to wing it. If we can't take their advice and follow their guidance knowing it's what's best for us even if we can't fully understand that point, then I don't know how it can work. If they aren't listening to your concerns and answering questions, that's a HUGE problem. There should be no unanswered questions. You need to know how they came up with this particular approach. I mean, what are you going to do post op when the NUT says nothing but liquids for 2wks and then slowly add in soft foods like thin cream of wheat or cottage cheese and you say, but I don't feel that wheat is a good food for me, so I'm going to go with......Teddy grahams soaked in milk to make it go down and after that rely on any pain to tell me what foods I should eat because my body knows better than him/her. That can be kind of dangerous if your NUT didn't take the time to explain WHY there's this progression and what could happen if you jump too fast. This is all just an example, not saying this is your problem at all, but just showing how important that trust and guidance is. If you can't get it from the NUT you have, you either need to find a new one, or pay for a second opinion elsewhere. My insurance only allows for my PCP to oversee the 90 days of supervised diet, but I decided to pay the extra to get a NUT I can trust and work well with. Sure my PCP wants me to be healthy too, but all she relies on are books and manuals and eating charts, whereas my NUT that is costing me dearly, has ditched the charts and is working with me as a whole person. I don't know how I could hope to make it through this process and succeed if I had to do it without her.

I had my gallbladder out too and my surgeon told me that they would actually use my old scars as a road map and that it made things easier. As for the hysterectomy, I don't think that will really cause too much issue, as long as there aren't too many adhesions. They only need to be able to make it to top part of the small bowel, so if they gave you a lower transverse cut like with a csection when they did it, it'll probably not be an issue at all.

@@Smye I look at the financial "set back" as an investment in the future. Just think, you are up fronting the cost now, but this later will save you from having to shell out for other surgeries to repair knees and backs and the cost of diabetes and the testing strips and not to mention the plus sized clothes all cost a butt ton more so for the price of that one hiddeous tent shirt that cost $110 you instead buy a $10 top at target in the regular section and put the diff towards the bills.

Thanks for the suggestion! I actually love hummus and wondered if that was going to be allowed. I haven't made it to that appt yet where we discuss the details of the after op diet. I did choke down some cottage cheese a few nights ago, but I was just angry/sad the whole time. It totally still feels like a punishment. I'm going to try a couple of more times to break that association, but I honestly don't know if I can. My therapist thinks I can, but she has way more faith than I do at this point! So from a behavioral psych point of view I'm sure it's an association that can be broken.... I guess I'm wondering why it's important to. I don't mean that the hold that the past has shouldn't be worked on I guess I'm just wondering if there aren't more important things to work on than cottage cheese. However, if your therapist hasn't suggested any desensitization exercises, you might want to either discuss them or look some up. As a basic idea though I wouldn't start with actually eating the cottage cheese (which I get may sound like a waste) but just having it on your plate regularly and particularly while you're having a really nice time with people. Then maybe have a bite or two with something that you really like flavor wise, again, regularly, and particularly while you're having a fun time with people you have positive associations with. Basically the idea is to just get used to having it around until it doesn't cause you anxiety and then increase the exposure bit by bit. Jumping into eating full portions of it from the beginning sounds like a less optimal plan in terms of potential success. We've been working towards this goal for a long time actually. Buying it and just owning it was a big deal. It's not even really about the cottage cheese itself, but about the amount of emotional hold I've given this inanimate object.(so says the therapist) So we've bought it, looked at it, touched it, played with it, and that was all fine in the confines of therapy, but the moment it was time for me to buy it myself and bring it home and work up to eating it without anger or pain attached, there I drop it. I can't move past it and in doing this I can see that I haven't gotten past my past. I understand my mother is mentally ill, I understand that she wasn't responsible for all of her actions, but that hurt and anger and especially the pain are still in there. I have just transferred that emotion to the object of my torture(the cottage cheese). So there is my problem. I need to not associate it with my past so that I can actually work on the deeper issues, but I just can't move past this one. Maybe it's just not time yet. I know it would be beneficial from a post op diet standpoint of I did, but there are so many other options that I might just leave this pot simmering on the back burner awhile longer.

Thanks! I need all the cheerleading I can get!

I wouldn't call it guilt, but there is definitely a level of embarrassment. I know if I tell my casual friends that I'm having wls they will totally just think I've taken the easy way out and not realize how important this is for me. It makes me want to keep it to myself and only let a few people in. I've always been a pretty private person as far as my weight and diets go so it wouldn't surprise anyone if I went on another diet and lost some weight. By the time I lose a substantial amount of weight, I might be more open to talking about it. I think if anything I'm more afraid of telling people and then not losing anything and have people talk about me and how I couldn't make it work because I'm just a fat lazy person. That's my biggest fear.

I can relate to a lot of the things you said. I have 7 kids ranging from 13 to just turned 1. I had them all back to back to back with 3 miscarriages thrown in there as well. I never got any of my baby weight off before I was pregnant again. I'm one of those incredibly fertile fat women that most doctors say don't exist. I'm one of those who doesn't lose while nursing either even on a strict supervised diet. I started out my first pregnancy overweight at 200lbs which for me and my height and build doesn't look terribly bad, but it still wasn't healthy. I've been overweight my whole life and putting on 10-15lbs with each one added an extra 70-105lbs and then I was on antidepressants after my late term miscarriage, because I felt so guilty for being so fat and unhealthy that I wanted to punish myself with more fat and misery for my baby dying. I added another almost 100lbs on top of my other baby weight between the antidepressants and sleep eating from the sleep aids to help me sleep. Add on some rebound pounds from my failed diets and I'm sitting at HOLY HELL! 410lbs after I already lost 20! It's hard to realize you've got more than an entire healthy weight person to lose. In my case, I've got 2 people who need to lose weight to lose from my body. The reason I chose to go with a bypass is because I know I can't do this with diet alone. I have been trying that my whole life and it hasn't worked. I just keep getting fatter. I want to live to be able to see my kids grow up. I don't want them to say that their childhood was ruined because we never went anywhere or did anything because I was too fat to do anything. That's my motivation for surgery. It's because my love for them is greater than my fear of dying. I'm pretty certain I won't die. My surgeon is skilled and has a great track record, I don't have any co morbidities so far, and he says my risk is very similar to my gallbladder surgery so given that, I'm taking an educated risk. I'm more likely to die from my weight in the next 5yrs if I do nothing than I am to die from the surgery at this point. At the very least, I'm going to lose this weight and give my kids back the mom they deserve and avoid a future filled with diabetes, heart disease, stroke risk, and premature death that my super obese siblings and parents are dealing with. My father just had a massive stroke at 72 and will never be the same. I don't want that for my family or myself. One of my biggest fears is dying in front of my kids or them finding my dead body. If I can stop this right now, before it gets worse, I can prevent that and prevent them from heading down the same path by keeping them more active with their new active mom. It's worth the shot to me.

Thanks for the suggestion! I actually love hummus and wondered if that was going to be allowed. I haven't made it to that appt yet where we discuss the details of the after op diet. I did choke down some cottage cheese a few nights ago, but I was just angry/sad the whole time. It totally still feels like a punishment. I'm going to try a couple of more times to break that association, but I honestly don't know if I can. My therapist thinks I can, but she has way more faith than I do at this point!

@bigmatt714 I'm starting at 410 and my surgeon definitely agrees with me that bypass is more effect for maximum weight loss at my size. The sleeve can stretch and can be defeated in a moment of weakness, but with the bypass, if you try to defeat it by eating a sugary treat, you will get dumping syndrome and that will keep you honest, because it's very unpleasant.

@@James Marusek thanks. I was really just stressing over this whole thing. I guess what's on paper in the office vs my personal goal at home could be totally diff numbers too. I'd just really like to know what it would feel like to wear a single digit size just once in my life and I didn't realize how badly I wanted that until I was daydreaming about buying clothes. Even if I can't maintain that weight for my height, I'd like to wear it just once.

@@Daisee68 Oh god that sounds so painful! I hope you feel better now that it's over!

I have a short list that I've been working on: 1.fit in swing at the park and swing race with the kids 2. go down the slide at the park and not get stuck in the tunnel like winnie the pooh 3. run 1 mile non stop then 2 miles, etc til I get to 5miles then I give myself a gold star of achievement 4. get some skin taken off and my boobs put back where they used to be maybe implants if they deflate too much 5. ride on a motorcycle(any volunteers? My hubby hates them) 6. plan a trip to Ireland to see where my family came from(we're from Northern Ireland from Tyrone County if anyone else shares the dream) 7. take a full length pic from head to toe-maybe do a full nude pic for my hubby(tastefully of course) 8. ride a bike and not just a big fat tricycle because I can't balance all of this awesome on 2 wheels 9. go to theme park and ride all the rides that won't give me a seizure 10. buy a bikini and wear it like a boss...at least in the comfort of my own backyard. 11. go on airplane ride and buy ONE seat and need only ONE seat 12. go hang gliding off of Lookout Mountain in Colorado 13. climb all the 14ers in Colorado 14. learn to swim 15. buy a single digit size piece of clothing and have it fit-I've been in plus sizes since I was in 3rd grade so this one is a super huge deal to me. and that's what I have so far, but if I think hard enough I can find more but it's a start!

I found some sugar free pudding and gelatin on Amazon called Better Bowls that is sweetened with splenda instead of Aspartame. I haven't tried them yet, so I don't know how the taste factor is, but if you are a crazy planner like I am, and are worried about post op only being able to have broth during recovery, relax knowing there is sugar free pudding and gelatin that does NOT have aspartame. I plan to order some soon to give it a test. I know they say taste buds change after the surgery, but if it tastes like hot vomit now, I think I'll pass and keep looking. So yay! that's my find of the day!

Oh it was so funny! She was embarrassed and said she was praying to God I didn't notice, but we had a good laugh about it. The one thing I always try to tell people is that your nurse is just basically like you. Totally human and totally guilty of embarrassing moments. You burp, you fart, you get talked about on FB LMAO

I haven't told too many people about my decision to have surgery, because I know support isn't going to come from my family period. They are all super morbidly obese and have tons of comorbidities, but they would rather be miserable than to give up their love of super greasy, super fattening foods and soda. My brother already lost his legs to diabetes yet he can't give up full sugar soda. He just keeps going like this and if he doesn't change one day he's going to kill himself, but he says he's rather die then not be able to eat and drink what he wants. It's sad. The whole bunch is like that! They are also the kind who like to sabotage diets to feel better about themselves and rub it in your face that they just ate a triple cheeseburger with onion rings and a chocolate shake and "all you can have is your little itty bitty nothing." My mom used to encourage them all to taunt me as punishment for sneaking food when she was starving me. I'd have to sit there and watch them eat huge heaping plates spilling over with food, while I was sentenced to days without food because I snuck a piece of bread or something. So knowing how they are, I've chosen to NOT tell them that I'm even having a surgery at all, but to assemble my own "family" of people who can and will support me. I've told my best friend since forever who has watched me struggle and seen how cruel people have been to me because of my weight. She knows my struggle and supports my decision. I told my college roommate who also has had the surgery and is 1yr post op and just reached her goal weight. I've told my kids so they won't be scared about what's going to happen and how things will change. And although my hubby wasn't originally behind the decision, I showed him the stats for someone my size who doesn't get the surgery along with writing him a heart filled letter about my struggle, even the parts I hid from him, like all the diet pills, the binging and purging, etc. and how my clock is ticking down. For instance, for my size, the average life expectancy is about 5-7 yrs before heart attack, or stroke leading to death. That would put our youngest baby at maybe 6yrs old when his mom dies. That's horrible! After he understood that we couldn't "just try one more diet" that this was SERIOUS and not just me trying to get a quick fix with no work, he's been behind my decision. Maybe you could try either sitting down and talking to your family and tell them all the details about how you got to this point or pour your heart into a letter if it tends to get heated and argumentative. My hubby shut me down or stormed out every time I tried to bring it up, so I did write him a letter and then we talked after he had read it. Include the Myriad of diets, the medications, the pains and co morbidities you have that are dangerously dragging your life expectancy down, the science behind how the surgery works to correct these problems, the statistics on if you don't have surgery and the statistics on if you do. Then just let the emotional walls down and tell them how it hurts to know that they don't support you. Tell them how it feels and don't hold back. If they still can't support you after that, then do what I've done and built your own "family" out of the people who can support you. If all else fails, you always have us here.

I'm pre op, but I've had my gallbladder taken out, kidney stones, and all of my babies were born in the hospital. The thing I wasn't prepared for is that they NEVER leave you alone even at night! Nurses will come through doing rounds, flipping on lights to check your vitals, take temps, change IV, deal with the input line that keeps beeping because there's a link in the line, etc. and if you have trouble going back to sleep like I do, it can mean you just don't rest at all the entire time. I do recommend taking ear plugs, eye mask and your own pillows for comfort-partly because the hospital ones are like rubber coated, hard, and super flat and also because they never seem to have any extras so if you want more than just one flat pillow, keep that in mind. Also put it in a bright colored case so they know it's yours from home and housekeeping or a nurse doesn't snag it for another patient. When I had my gallbladder taken out and when I had kidney stones, I was too tired from the pain meds to care much about entertainment beyond a little TV, or cuddling one of my kids who was visiting, but when I was in having my babies, after the kids all went home and it was just me and the new baby who was sleeping, I needed the iPad, my phone, some sudoku and crossword puzzles, and told my friends and family on FB too many details of life in the hospital. Seriously, it's embarrassing what you find yourself posting! For example: "status update: I smell bacon, wonder if it's Breakfast time? Guess they'll bring it in after the nurse leaves." And 5 mins later "status update: turns out it wasn't breakfast, nurse just burped in my face. She hoped I hadn't noticed til I mentioned the smell of bacon...LOL" and 4 mins later..."status update: really gotta poop but I can't poop in foreign toilets, I hope to god they discharge me before I end up exploding! LOL" yeah those are all real posts sorry to say. Maybe stay away from Facebook til the craziness of the drugs wear off. All in all it's manageable. I usually check out as soon as humanly possible which was like 12hrs after my gallbladder and depending on the doc and complications, anywhere from 6-12hrs after birth. I just do better in my own home.

@@amyallthetime hi! Welcome to forum! My biggest suggestion is read all you can and ask anyone you know who has had surgery all about it from a personal experience and just really get comfortable with the idea. I looked into bypass surgery in my 20's but it wasn't the time for me yet. I still thought I could do it on my own, but now I'm 38 and I haven't successfully done it on my own and added about another 100lbs to deal with, so it's finally time for me.

I think I get it. I've been overweight my whole life. This chubby cheeked face is all I've ever known. I don't know how I'll feel the first time I look in a mirror and she's gone. That does bother me a bit. I try to focus on the positives, but I do worry that I won't be "me" after surgery. But then maybe that's ok too. Maybe we need to be accepting of a new version of "me" and learn what we like all over again. I've heard some post op people once they reach goal weight refer to their surgery date as their new birthday, because they were taken through a new childhood and into a new life. You even start out eating like a baby if you think about it! First liquids, then soft foods like baby cereal, and then slowly til we get to solids. So maybe we are babies again, so maybe it's ok to cry a little. LOL