Thanks for posting this question. Its kind of a relief to know that others have had these feelings. I have no idea what being thin is like. You know, there was a time that I was probably what some would consider "not fat", but I'm certain I wasn't thin, however, as I recall it, I might have been the 200 plus pounds that I am now , then, because thats how fat I felt. I'm remembering what an internal drive that is. My fear of being thin is all about what other people's expectations of me will be. You see, if I am fat, in some ways, I get off the hook for others having too high of expectations for me or my performance at anything. The way you are looked down upon make it easy to try to be invisible and then if you do something pretty darn smart, my mental image is that people are taken aback that a fat girl could be so smart. But if I am thin, doing the same things, will people not be impressed because I'm just another thin person doing something perhaps normal, or will people expect more from me since i'm not that fat girl. And how will I ever measure up. Ah. my internal demons. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to express my crazy thinking.
