Ashlegal

OMG! I went through the same thing with my husband! He had always been a very affectionate man but as I started losing, he became overly touchy feely. My surgeon told me not to have sex until 4-6 weeks out as you would with most surgeries. Ugh! Men!

Everything as newly WLS patient that I am given permission to eat (not literally everything but lots) is loaded with chemicals. I'm not a chemical eater. Prior WLS I wasn't a junk food junky or a fast food aficionado in fact I hadn't had a fast food meal in eighteen months PRIOR to even looking into WLS. Most of my meals were prepared at home with as many fresh ingredients as I could find; locally sourced and even grown in my backyard. I ate too much and didn't exercise. I'd make stir fry chicken with fresh snow peas, peppers, mushrooms, carrots, celery and ginger sauce but I wouldn't stop at one bowl. Or I'd make taco bowls with locally sourced pork, homemade sofritas, black Beans, tomatoes, peppers, cheese and avocado but before I ate my bowl, I'd chow down on homemade chips and salsa. In other words, my food was very minimally processed and not of the convenient variety. After WLS everything is low-fat, no-sugar, non-fat, low carb and to take those things out of foods means you have to add (mostly) unnatural ingredients. Most of that crap is bad for you and can lead to problems such as headaches, allergy flare-ups, skin problems, memory problems, dental problems, stomach problems, sleep problems and much more. I don't want to stunt my weight loss but I also don't understand how eating chemicals in lieu of carbs or fats is a healthier alternative. For example: yogurt. Regular Yogurts are loaded with sugar but sugar has not been proven to be any worse for you than the artificial crap they replace it with in "light" yogurt. In many studies it has been proven that artificial sweeteners may make losing weight more difficult. Just Google "artificial sweeteners vs sugar." Am I totally in the wrong with my thinking?

I remember that feeling. I had been working on my approval after a denial for over a year, when out of the blue I received a call from my surgeon's office. While I knew I was working on an approval I had already been denied plus was told I may have to appeal after a second denial. So, when I received their call I was hit with a wave of emotion. One moment I was ecstatic and over joyed, the next I was scared, crying and worried. Then some nights I would contemplate backing out followed by seeing myself in the mirror and knowing it had to be done. Remember the closer you get to the date the more emotional you'll become. Especially if you are on a liquid pre-op diet. You'll be hungry, sad, overwhelmed, scared, happy, excited, confused and even a little sick. Don't worry it is all normal and anyone of us here can help you get through it! Congrats on the date!

I agree as I planned (and am doing something similar) in terms of taking the immediate list of foods and using them as a guideline for the first six months. I know a lot of the food I was eating prior to WLS will be just fine after. My sister has been on a Paleo eater for about a year and not only has she lost almost sixty pounds but she feels really healthy. I as an educated individual know that the body needs complex carbs and those types of carbs can be found in many healthy, natural foods. I don't believe that is wise to exclude any one food group and incorporating foods with lean Proteins, complex carbs, Fiber and nutrient rich foods such as greens into your diet is going to make you healthy with or without WLS.

I went to my first appointment the first week of July 2014 and I finally had surgery in September 2015. Over a year it took me to jump through all the hoops, go to all the appointments, get all the clearances and even after that I was not guaranteed approval. I know how you feel. I remember the day I received my first denial letter (I gained two pounds at my last supervised weigh in. TWO FREAKING POUNDS and that is why I was denied), I was devastated and totally distraught. I cried, I wept, I felt like a failure and didn't know what I was going to do. Once I got over that feeling of being overwhelmed, I picked myself up and pushed through and worked extra hard to get my approval. I am glad I was forced to work that much harder, it made me more aware of the big change I was about to endure. You'll get there and this moment in time will feel like a blink of an eye.

So, today marks my first month surgiversary as it has been four weeks since I underwent RNY. I have lost 25 pounds since surgery and with another 15 pre-op, that brings my grand total WL to 40 pounds. I don't know why but that number disappoints me (in me head) but my heart tells me I should be stoked. My head and my heart have never had the most compatible of relationships but they are working on being more cordial. I don't have much to complain about. I went back to work ten days post-op and have no issues with energy or GI problems. I did have some inconveniences with vitamins/timing/fluid intake/protein goals after going back to work. But as of today, I have worked out those kinks and am hitting my fluid/protein/vitamin goals with much ease. I feel great. My incisions haven't been a source of discomfort since about five days out and I have more energy, better sleep quality and less physical pain than I have since my 21st birthday. It does get better everyday and for those of you struggling, please, please, please keep that in mind. I know it sounds cliche but truly believe that it does get better everyday and the discomfort you are feeling now will dissipate. One day you will wake up and look back on the hard parts and think "it was worth it to get to the way I am feeling now!" It is normal to feel emotional, frustrated, overwhelmed, scared and "not complete." It is normal to question your decision and it's worthiness. It was a major life changing event and it will sometimes feel like it was a mistake. It only feels that way because sometimes the most rewarding, most challenging and most powerful decisions in life are the hardest to get a grip on. They also happen to be the ones we will never regret and make our lives better in ways we never thought possible. For those of you feeling lost or don't have a lot of support, while I maybe "new" in my journey, I'm a great listener and don't want anyone to feel alone in theirs. Reach out to me and together we can be each other's support. Sometimes all we need is an ear to bend to feel better. Good luck to everyone in their journey; rather ten years in on two weeks pre-op, we all deserve a pat on the back!

I didn't even realize I had made that flub but yes, I did mean to report that I had lost 15 pounds pre-op and 25 post-op. I plan on weighing myself by the end of the week to see if I have lost anymore. The 25 was noted on Saturday. Fingers crossed more has dropped off.

My good friend went through something similar a couple of years ago after she had WLS. It was strange that the issues not related to health, self esteem, confidence or security were the ones that stayed on the surface after she lost her weight. But the truth of the subject is that there is a problem with divorce in the WLS community. Many young ladies get married to the first man that sees past their weight and when the weight comes off the realization that the relationship was never healthy comes to light. Most women that lose the weight have husband that don't know how to handle the transformation and instead of working on themselves, they take their issues out on their wife.

I would NOT compare the two, that is how different I feel they are. A c-section (personally) is much more invasive and takes longer to heal from. This I feel is due to the fact that you are actually cut to remove a life from your womb. Hell, I was in the hospital three days after surgery and could barely move without a lot of pain. I could barely get up off the couch or in and out of bed for at 9-10 days after my c-section. Ten days after my RNY, I was back to work, off all pain meds, driving, walking a mile and doing most of the housework.

@@StephOnTheMove Oh, okay. I was just curious as I had never known anyone to need staples with laprascopic surgery. I have had staples removed and no it didn't hurt. You'll be fine.

Your surgery wasn't laprascopic?

I feel really sad for those of you without the support you need. Husbands (or partners in general) should be our "rock" and the same is expected from us. Over the course of mine and my husband's relationship we have had our share of extreme ups and downs. Major surgeries, life changing financial situations, unexpected deaths and everyday stresses. Every time we have hit a bump (big or small) we have grown closer and our love has grown stronger. From my first Protein shake pre-op to present day, my husband has been nothing but encouraging, loving, flattering and empathetic. He did once eat my favorite pizza, wings and bread sticks and left a mess for me to clean up but he doesn't let a day go by without a hug letting me know it is all going to be okay or a sneak up from behind with a whisper in my ear "you are looking so good babe." I can't fathom anything less from the man I married. The man fathering my child. The man I have always been there for or the man that vowed to always be there for me. My best advice is to always take care of you (and of course your children) and focus on being the best version of yourself. You can't change anyone to be what your need them to be and you have to let go of trying. Expecting people to behave the way you think they should will only lead to disappointment.

About two weeks ago I woke up to use the restroom and as my rear end hit the seat I about jumped ten feet high because the cold shocked me. This had never been a problem and I usually craved cold touches (flipping over my pillow, finding a cool spot on the sheets, the toilet seat) in the middle of the night because I always felt over-heated. Then last week while I sat at my desk at work the AC clicked on (yes, Arizonans have their AC's on in September and even in parts of October) and I immediately wished I had something to cover my arms with. I was the girl all summer long begging for the air to be turned down to 70 and when it clicked on at 73 I felt like I was going to freeze to death. I'm hoping it all means that during winter (no Arizona doesn't really get a winter, but we pretend) I can bundle up in cute pea coats, scarves, tunics, knit leggings and knee high boots. Gotta turn the negatives into positives!

I just found this recipe and will give it a try tomorrow. Thought I would share and hope it is something other will enjoy! http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/2015/09/flavors-of-fall-pumpkin-spice-protein.html

How did he feel about you having surgery in the first place? Was there support through the process or was he resistant to the idea from the beginning? You simply do what you can, when you can and take care of yourself. Was he helpful before surgery? Was there a partnership that was built on love and respect? Or was it always his way or no way? I am just trying to wrap my mind around having someone in my life that wouldn't understand that I just had LIFE ALTERING major surgery and expected nothing to change in our relationship. Mind boggled.

It does get better. I didn't think it would and it did! I am almost a month post-op and I still have some emotional roller coaster rides but all in all it is much better than it was two days ago, a week ago, two weeks ago, three weeks ago and tomorrow it will be better than it was today. Take deep breaths, stay hydrated and remember this, "this too shall pass and when it does I will be unstoppable!" I have discovered listening to a few uplifting songs (and humming/singing along) boost my spirits and help me reflect why I had surgery in the first place. Here are some suggestions (don't laugh just listen): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4UqfrH74wc0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9SeJIgWRPk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmR5Aat11P8

I scheduled two weeks off from work and ended up going back ten days after surgery. I could have gone back after a week but I wanted to make completely sure I was ready. Everyone is different. After 4 days post-op, I wasn't in a ton of pain, I was getting in my fluids, my Proteins and didn't have any gas, stomach issues or constipation. In fact I never really felt nauseous or too uncomfortable from gas. By day five I was able to get through an entire day without needing a nap. While I will admit my first week back after surgery was a little rough due to Vitamin schedules, Fluid intake, head hunger and yucky Protein shakes; I don't regret going back less than two weeks post-op.

I have been told I am clear to have caffeine after three months post op. My surgeon told me that it had a lot to do with the fact that caffeine can irritate the stomach. While your new stomach is trying to heal, it is best not to put anything in it that will be an irritant. That in addition to what Toasty had mentioned about dehydration and it being a stimulate. On the bright side; I too am an unsweetened black ice tea drinker and have found decaf to be just as refreshing. I make sun tea with a few tea bags and drink about 24-30 ounces a day, making up half of my daily Fluid intake. And if Sweet Tea is an issue, add Splenda to the decaf ice tea and it should soothe any "cravings." Also, there are a TON of decaf flavored teas that don't have sweeteners and taste yummy.

I use Unsweetened Almond (sometimes Vanilla) Milk with either Syntrax Vanilla Bean Torte or Chocolate Truffle in a blender with ice and a pump (or two) of my favorite Torani SF flavor. It turns into a thin milkshake with protein. Yum!

Do you know the many, many breast cancer survivors had worries that went beyond cancer into "how will I feel as a woman if I have no breasts?" It is a genuine concern for many woman and not just those who have been diagnosed with cancer. Our breasts are a part of our identity, they help make us feel young, sexy, attractive and well proportioned. It is the reason why many women choose augmentation as they age, have children or for a boost of self confidence. Most of us don't care about a man's opinion about out breasts but care about what WE see in the mirror. We want our shapes, curves and clothes to look best and feel our breasts help facilitate a specific look.

Just because you can doesn't mean you should.

I love finding a great decaf tea! I brew them and then drink them over ice. It has been a Godsend. Aside from that OP, I drink Vitaminwater Zero, Hint Water and sometimes I'll get a decaf iced coffee with a splash of cream and some splenda. Here is some more information on both the Vitaminwater and the Hint water: http://vitaminwater.com/products/ https://www.drinkhint.com/#?offset=0&limit=40 The Hint water and the Vitaminwater can be found in many grocery stores. Hint water comes in soo many flavors, I am sure you will find something you like.

I feel really fortunate that I am three weeks post op and feel relatively physically normal. Emotionally I am still have some weird moments, melt downs and WTF's. But physically I am doing well. I don't have any incision discomfort, no gas pains, no constipation and never really felt nauseous. I am also went back to work after only ten days off and manage to get through a 7-9 hour shift with relative ease. It gets better everyday. I remember the first week out, I got out of the shower and had this insatiable need to lay down. The moment I got dressed, I laid on the couch and fell asleep for two hours. Just listen to your body, it knows what it needs!

I am a few years older than you but am currently three weeks post-op. What is on your mind? I will answer any and all questions to the best of my ability.

Good luck! Congratulations! Stay positive, hydrated and moving! Wishing you a speedy and comfortable recovery!