FocusOnMeNow

@@Stevehud - right on! I'm with you on that one.

Ok. There are a LOT of issues here. Sounds like he was or is having an affair. He resents you re finances ("ok if you pay for half" comment). You aren't having sex and there is no honesty (text message) or intimacy in your relationship. You certainly have a lot to think about. You can accept and appreciate the roomate situation and get a good vibrator. You can try to get counseling to take your relationship to the next level (assuming that BOTH of you are willing to try to do what it will take to get you there). You can leave and start over and hope for something better. Being divorced and 45 years old myself, I strongly suggest that you don't make any rash decisions, start therapy for yourself with or without him, and get your finances in order. Health insurance should cover therapy. If you don't have it you need to get it. I would also recommend that you start squirreling away any money that you can, even if its just to pinch an extra $20-$50 off every grocery trip to put into some type of savings, or IRA account in your own name. The dose of Cialis that you mention is the dose for benign protastic hyperplasia rather than the usual dose for ED. Although in early stages it could work for ED if that was an issue. Also keep in mind if he has access to Cialis he could be taking a double dose (ie the ED dose) so that he can have a good time with someone else. Sounds like you need to have several serious conversations with him and with yourself about what will or will not be a dealbreaker for you.

I just thought that all you Sleevers would want to know that Prevacid (Lansoprazole) and other Proton Pump Inhibitors (PPIs) such as (omeprazole [prilosec], lansoprazole, pantoprazole, esomeprazole, and rabeprazole) which block acid production in your stomach can significantly interfere with Calcium absorption. Turns out that you need stomach acid to dissolve and absorb calcium, Iron, and potentially other Vitamins. I have been racking my brain trying to figure out how I could possibly need more calcium and realized that I take my multi with calcium, drink my premier Protein with calcium, AND take my calcium supplement in the morning along with my prevacid. Argh! I knew not to take calcium and iron at the same time, but I did not realize that the prevacid could be interfering. In May 2010, the US food and Drug Administration issued a warning of the: “possible increased risk of fractures of the hip, wrist, and spine with high doses or long-term use of a class of medications called proton pump inhibitors. The product labeling will be changed to describe this possible increased risk”(US. FDA News Release, May 25, 2010). http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2974811/pdf/nihms239233.pdf I have been on prevacid for 4 months now, which my Dr. prescribed initially to reduce acid and prevent GERD (which hopefully I don't have). My Dr. said I "could" go off it after 3 months. But now I am definitely going off of it (and calling my Dr. to confirm that its ok to do so). However, if you do have GERD or otherwise please contact your Dr. before discontinuing. Apparently even with PPIs "calcium citrate" absorbs MUCH better than calcium carbonate and other calcium supplements. Bariatric Advantage vitamins are calcium citrate, nearly every supplement I found in Walmart had calcium carbonate (and so does Premier Protein, my almond milk, most gummies, etc). Also I don't know for sure but perhaps if you don't actually take your prevacid and calcium TOGETHER (like I was doing) it might improve your absorption as well. In any event, please discuss with your Dr. if you have concerns. Most of these studies looked at long term PPI therapy for years (not for 3 months like my Dr. suggested), so the benefits may outweigh the risks in the short term. I have done so much research, I feel like a fool that I did not know this. I thought that all of you might want to. I hope this information is helpful.

I read the online patient manuals of several promient hospitals before I ever saw my doctor. So when I met with my NUT I decided that I would listen to her and consult and try to follow her instructions, but honestly if what she told me differed from published research and/or from what they were doing at the Brigham (aka part of Harvard Medical School) I definitely thought twice. I also watched MANY youtube videos by Clusie and KStar and others as well. Those two really inspired me. They were like the video girlfriend's guide to weight loss surgery. Incredibly inspiring as many of you are. And yes as VSG Ann said a lot of us really asked questions just to get a sense of, well, if our NUT was nuts. Mine was not super helpful and I found just as much if not more on the internet and on these boards. My surgeon and all the rest of his staff were phenomenal and very helpful and informative. The NP I see for post op has the patience of a saint. And she herself also had WLS. Very helpful indeed.

@duskygoddess - not sure if they have one in your area on Saturday nights but where I live they do have a support group for us on Saturday nights...its called overeaters anonymous or OA. Google it. Not neccessarily WLS patients, but folks who used to eat a lot and no longer do.

Agreed and I shared it with my brother who recently went through a move a job change and a divorce all this year.

@@Bufflehead - there is an intact parathyroid hormone test, which if elevated either indicates that your blood calcium is in fact being maintained by leaching from your bones OR that you might possibly have a parathyroid tumor, which is extremely rare. Much more likely that blood levels of calcium are being supplemented by bones. Also be careful relying on "dietary" calcium alone. I am the "dairy queen" and also at "low risk" but I have figured out that they tell you to take the vitamins for a reason.

@@JamieLogical - no one said a word

No drain here either

I was on liquids for 3 weeks and let me tell you...everyone is different. Many of us can barely get down our liquids and even when allowed it was very challenging to get down solids. I've also heard of others who risked rupturing open their new tummies because they tried too much too fast which caused a lot of vomiting which I would consider violence against a new tummy. Please be kind to yours. And remember just because your doctor says that you can try something does not mean that your sleeve is willing to tolerate it.

Let me edit. I did not mean to tell folks what their actual goal calculation should be. I just was trying to be supportive of those who cannot get down to BMI of less than 25. My goal certainly is to get down to a BMI of less than 25. My doctors goal is to lose 60-70% of excess weight. I would like to lose 100% of excess weight. I have lost 60 lbs now in less than 4 months, but definitely have at least another 60 to go.

Your goal should be to lose 60-70% of your excess weight. On the 600 lb show, their goal weight is 250, which for them is amazing and life changing and losing greater than 50% of their total weight. For many of us a "healthy" weight under BMI of 25 is indeed the ideal but that does not mean that should be everyone's goal. If your BMI is 50 and your goal is to bring it down to 30 then good for you as that is a laudable goal. If you lose 60-70% of your excess weight then you have done better than average and should be considered a success.

Have your son go with you. You could do it alone if you had to, but if your son can be there for you then let him. You will never be more vulnerable than waking up from major surgery. My sister was there for me and I cannot tell you how comforting it was. Hats off to anyone that had to go it alone, and if I had to I would 100% still have done it, but that would never be my choice.

Congratulations!

If you are still on pain pills that can also cause itching

I have been reading online about diastasis recti which is a gap between your ab muscles at the midline. Supposedly this is what the surgeon sews back together during the tummy tuck. I have been reading online that there are certain exercises, which are mostly geared towards women who recently gave birth as being pregnant can also cause it in addition to severe obesity. I just wanted to see if anyone who had WLS tried any of these post-natal exercise programs prior to getting a tummy tuck and did they work at all. I recently purchased one called the Dia Method. I am hoping to avoid surgery again if at all possible. I'm not looking to be 20 again. I'm looking to be a healthy 40 year old.

@@talking mountain - I also took effexor ER capsules. I'm not sure which surgery you had. I had the sleeve. I opened the capsule and poured it into my medicine cup shot glass full of vitamin water zero and shot it down the hatch. I would have to take about 2 more shots of vitamin water to get all the little pellets down. It was far from ideal but I had been taking it for years so I think I had a decent level in my system when I started. Not sure if you are pre or post op but I started taking mine right in the hospital. One thing to be aware of though is that one of the side effects of effexor and one of the reasons they put it in a capsule to begin with was because of nausea as a side effect. So I always took the effexor at least 20 minutes after my zofran (anti nausea med) and preferably after I had some protein shake, yogurt or other to coat my stomach. After about 8-9 weeks post op I took everything in its original form (capsule in the case of effexor). I stayed on the zofran for about a month. Once I started mushy foods, I just took it after I ate my cottage cheese breakfast. I hope this helps.

I heard from some veterans that we will be colder when we are in active weight loss. Not sure if it gets better in maintenance or not.

Have you tried suggesting to them to get the support that they need from OA or elsewhere? Have you talked with them about how it's just as important to address the emotional issues as the physical ones to set yourself up for success? I'm sure that you have already. It is just very very sad as you say but perhaps try to cut them some slack and be thankful that you have the skills and tools to deal with your issues even though they aren't there yet. And it is possible they never will be. As much loss and grief and trauma I have been through that got me to my pre-surgery place, when I think of what others are going through and dealing with (films like "Precious"), then I can just be so grateful that I didn't have it much worse. But easier said than done and I certainly have a super low frustration tolerance and a super high amount of venting re stupid people!!!

I can't wait till the day that I can have my zero carb margarita mix, anejo tequila, grand marnier, and some lime juice again. If you want to have fun go ahead and go the "harm reduction" route if you can do so without the slippery slope. If you feel the need to smoke try vaping the lowest concentration of nicotine you can find instead and just keep it to once a week max. If you can't set limits then abstinence is best. But you've accomplished so much, you should be proud and give yourself a break. I personally never want surgery again, but you should do what you need to do. But as a nurse you should definitely know that if you ask a surgeon if you need surgery the answer is going to be YES about 99% of the time. So please take that into consideration as well as any "self-referrals." But if it's what you want and what you determine will be best, then go for it!

Congratulations on your new life. My go to drink was vitamin water zero rise orange (it's a clear liquid). 3.5 months out it still is. Liquid Tylenol worked the best for my pain for the first week. Also I slept and rested a LOT that first week, so other than your short walks please get all the rest that you need and try to take it easy. The first two weeks are hard but this too shall pass. That being said if your pain is out of the ordinary for major abdominal surgery then you should definitely call your doctors office to check in with them. Congratulations again on making a great decision to start a new healthy life!

Phentermine is speed and many of us tried that before WLS. One of the reasons I chose the sleeve is so I did not get addicted to speed and or pills. Since you essentially have to stay on them for the rest of your life. I read a story of a woman who stopped her phentermine when she got pregnant and gained over 100 lbs with her pregnancy. That's when I realized that pills were not the way for me. Are you also exercising? I'm not sure how far out you are but you can start with walking up to 30 minutes a day, and then when your doctor approves that go to 1 hour a day and add more exercise according to a schedule that your doctor approves. Many recommend going back to basics and starting the liquid protein diet over again for up to 5 days (see 5 day pouch test) if we start gaining weight again. Most importantly talk to your doctor, talk to your nutritionist, talk to a therapist, and seek support both here on BP, from your local WLS support group, and/or from Overeaters Anonymous meetings near you. These are all good sources of support. And when we try to do this all on our own sometimes we get in our own way. Please get the support that you need.

Also keep in mind if you had any leftovers that had been sitting out for too long OR if so much hit food was jammed into the fridge that the fridge actually warmed up for a little while or some ingredient was on its expiration date on Thursday... Then it could just be from something askew with the food you ate several hours prior. That type of thing can take up to 36 hours to kick in.

So was the burning sensation before or after you threw up? If it was after that's not GERD that's stomach acid that was in your throat from vomitting. Talk to your Dr. Mine said to take the pills for three months.

None of us gained weight from just a few bites. I am not even counting my carbs and do have a few bites of some kind of carb at every meal whether it's some fruit on my cottage cheese, some high protein crackers with cheese, some veg AND mashed potatoes with my dinner. The important thing is that it can be a slippery slope to get back on that hormonal sugar insulin roller coaster. So as long as you avoid that you should be ok. I do not eat bread rice or pasta but I did also had some stuffing at thanksgiving but it was about 1/8th - 1/10th of what I used to have. Back then the more I ate the hungrier I got.