rosepose

RIGHT? I don't know where that attitude that women (and probably men too?) shouldn't think well of themselves comes from in society but it's toxic! If all you ever say/feel is "I'm so ugly/fat/stupid/unacceptable in some way or another" how is your daughter every going to see how to believe in herself? How is she going to know how to stand up for herself if she has never seen it done? How will she know that it's okay to like herself if the most important woman in her life (her mom) doesn't like herself. I say be the woman you want the little girls in your life to have permission to be. Someone strong and deserving of health and love and kindness. Deserving of someone who likes her as a person. Not some douche who cares more about the size of his daughter's thighs than if she's doing something she loves, is thriving as a person, and has friends who are good people. And frankly I have met those guys - hell I'm related to some of them as well as their female counterparts. My grandmother told my mom and her sister that the prettiest between the two of them was the one who was thinnest at the time. I know one woman who told her daughter she'd stop buying her clothes for her if she gained weight - and then did. It's disgusting. And I don't think you were being oversensitive about it. I have to say that online dating is probably no way to meet someone you actually get along with (just based on my experience) because it's ridiculously artificial. I think going and doing things that you enjoy may be the way to go. I know there are some alternatives to online dating that basically just organize outings and you go and join things that sound fun and meet people that also think it sounds fun. It's something I am working my nerve up for. I've been sick and that sounds like far more effort than I want to think about right now. lol!

I'm am an extremely confident woman who knows what she is looking for... I am one of the kindest, warmest, and most positive people I know. If you knew me in person, you would know that. I'm a loyal friend and wonderful mother. People open up to me because of my gentle and welcoming nature. I'm a very sweet and accepting person. I truly care about people and their feelings... I'm extremely down to earth, my favorite thing to make fun of is myself, I am a dorky and friendly gal that people generally really like, and I love being me... And modest. Don't forget modest. So, this is a tangent and I apologize for that. But that line - while I'm sure it was just intended to be a joke - kind of hits that chord where women aren't allowed to be self confident - then they're egotistical. I don't like that. As an aunt to a terrific girl I want her to know those things about herself every minute of every day and to be able to say "Hey! I'm a good, kind, funny, nice person and it's not okay for you to talk to me that way!" and mean it when people are being less than kind to her and I want that for Bellabloom, myself, and every other person on this site. There is a difference between knowing what your strengths are and being happy and comfortable with them (you know, actually LIKING yourself as a person) and being egotistical. There's also a difference between standing up for yourself and being egotistical.

That's good to know! I don't know what they changed but while I can still eat them they do taste different and not in a good way. I'll have to try Combat Crunch.

None of the ones I listed are high in fat and sugar. Plus, Quest bars are high in Fiber which will help gallbladder health while you're losing weight which can be really important. I did try a builders bar and frankly it tastes better than any of the ones I mentioned but it also made me queasy for just those reasons - fat and sugar. There are tons of lower fat and sugar Protein bars out there. I promise

I tend to like Quest bars - but not all the flavors... Also if you leave them in a warm car or in front of a heating vent so they can get soft and warm (for some reason microwave is not the same) they're lovely. Other than that some people like the premier Protein bars but I haven't been a fan of those... basically there are tons of bars out there (including a higher protein granola bar with Peanut Butter and chocolate) that you can chose from. There are even things like epic bars which are protein bars made of meat fruit and nuts... Then of course there is just straight Jerky... The options are really fairly expansive and I recommend just trying several and finding something that works for you.

If you're truly concerned I'd not only speak to the surgeon that performed the surgery but another doctor as well who can assess the situation while not feeling the need to protect themselves in the process..

WLS patients will always have to watch their carb intake, even once they reach their goal. It is a reality. I didn't watch mine and gained almost all of my weight back (with the band). WLS patients will always have to watch their carb intake, even once they reach their goal. It is a reality. I didn't watch mine and gained almost all of my weight back (with the band). Actually even non-wls people who want to stay in control of their weight generally have to watch their carbs. I'm sure there are people for whom this isn't true but my dad dropped most grains and carbs (wheat belly diet) and lost 40 lbs in 6 months - no surgery. My brother who is an athlete and has never been fat is ruthless about never eating carbs after 6 and cutting them down to almost nothing in the off season so he doesn't get out of shape while he doesn't have the same level of training to balance the intake. I am sure there are people who don't need to but I know of none personally that can not control their carb intake and stay fit regardless of whether or not they've had surgery.

I don't mind. I developed a heart arrythmia (atrial fibrillation) around 18 months post op. The band surrounds the vagus nerve which controls, among other things, heart rhythm. I ended up in ER with my heart completely out of rhythm, beating at a rate that was close to having me have a stroke, and blood pressure also sky high. It took seven hours to bring everything around using medication, and now I'm on medication for life. I had my band's restriction loosened so as not to touch on the vagus nerve and just went back in last month to get a bit of fill as I'm gaining weight and hungry all the time. Immediately following the small fill, I went back into atrial fibrillation. That's pretty conclusive evidence that there is a correlation, at least with my particular anatomy. If you google gastric band, or lap band + atrial fibrillation, you will see a lot of people who have now experienced this. There are several on this forum right here. So yes, I regret what I did. Living with a-fib is no picnic, and the side effects of the three medicines I now have to take have greatly compromised my quality of life: extreme fatigue, memory loss, inability to do any sports that might raise my heartrate...wish I had chosen a different path. Would a sleeve revision correct the afib? Unfortunately, no. Once you have afib, you have afib. In fact, afib begets afib. In other words, once the electricity in your heart becomes chaotic (which is basically what afib is), it will constantly create new "bad" pathways in your heart. According to my cardiologist, it is unlikely that even removing the band will make the afib disappear, as the band has already done its damage. All I can do is keep it loose and off the vagus nerve, and continue with my meds (or, in the future, ablation or pacemaker if the afib worsens). I would not do another WLS in any case. I'm out of the game. For me, these are "Flowers for Algernon" situations. When I was doing my research, I was convinced WLS was the gold standard for permanent weight loss. Now my thoughts are different, especially concerning the lapband (since I had a bad experience with it) but also with other surgeries. There really is no tinkering with major body parts that is going to come out ok in the longterm, imho. We are seeing wonderful transformations in the short term, yes...but my sense is longterm we are going to see some health-complications from all WLS that have yet to reveal themselves. I would not even consider going under the knife again. I'm sorry it's been such a bad experience. One of the reasons I went with the sleeve is, while it's newly used in WLS, it actually has a huge amount of long term info as it's the same surgery used for stomach cancer and perforated ulcers and has been for probably over half a century at this point so long term effects are well and truly known. I agree that this is not a decision to make lightly. I hope you have a really good cardiologist. My dad has afib and my brother (an MD) did a bunch of research into meds to control it and found one that has stopped it completely - though this drug has serious complications potentially itself and should only be used for about a year as side effects become more prevalent at that point - should it come back it will require that they zap the heart tissues to stop it... PM me if you'd like me to share the names of the meds he researched so you can ask your cardiologist about them. I'm really glad you shared this. Most of the people on this site are very enthusiastic about their experience and I think it's important to have a balanced view. The numbers do support surgery as being the gold standard, but I also think it should be the last resort because if you can do it without then that is infinitely better health-wise. I've had a harder experience than many but nothing to yours and I am still glad I made this decision. I'm currently struggling with serious Iron absorption and anemia problems probably made worse if not caused by the omeprozole which can inhibit iron absorption but I've been a little anemic for years so it's not the sole issue and can't be laid at the feet of the surgery etc entirely. However all my iron stats have dropped 40-50% in less than 2 months and I will be seeing a hematologist to discuss IV iron transfusions next week. I do hope that this is going to be a non-issue once I can go without the omeprozole but in the meantime I am lucky to be able to work from home as I need to be lying down most of the time or my heart starts racing and I get dizzy. I'm also lucky as this is a manageable issue even if it does require long term IV iron transfusions instead of just a couple to get me back to the normal range until I can get off of the antacids. Further I'm intensely grateful that I went with a program that includes 2 years of follow up with nutrition, fitness and psych as this wouldn't have been caught for another 2 months without the nutritionist pushing me to follow up with my PCP as my numbers hadn't gone up even though I'd been on high levels of iron for over six months starting long before my surgery. It was at that visit that the drop was caught and while they would have found it at my next post surgery follow up that isn't for another 2.5 months and I could have landed in the hospital in serious trouble long before then if it continued to progress at the pace it has been going. Worth every flipping penny of the extra money staying here and going with that program instead of heading to Mexico imo.

Okay - so I'm sure this has been discussed but when I did a search I didn't find a specific topic on it... so hopefully this isn't too repetitive. I'm only about 7 weeks out at this point and only recently have I started to be able to eat "real" food consistently rather than living on Protein drinks. There is a lot going on for me right now, and for the first time since the surgery I'm finding myself stress eating. Mind you it's a few bites of stress eating rather than any significant volume and my choices tend to be healthier because unhealthy stuff still doesn't sit well, but the behavior is still there and some day I will be able to handle Cookies again! I'd like to head off the behavior now. I am curious about strategies to deal with it that have worked for others. When I'm home (which is where I'm most susceptible anyway) I have started to try and catch myself and get onto my elliptical and spend a few moments moving rather than eating. It seems to help for a moment or two (until the next trigger) and maybe with practice it will solve the problem, but I'm wondering what works for others - If people could share their strategies I'd really appreciate the input. Thanks!

This is mostly head hunger and stress eating - but the thing is that the habit is so ingrained I really only notice I'm doing it when I'm standing in front of the pantry or fridge.

These are awesome ideas!

Lol! So what I'm picking up from the subtext is no Cookies in the house. Yes - controlling my environment and my meal plans seems to be really important. I have had a lot of people around recently so I haven't been able to control the food that's around as much but I can start doing that now that it's just me again. Exercise also sounds critical. I'm finally starting to be able to build exercise into my day regularly - and I'm excited by this as it's always been such a boost emotionally and energy wise. And I am now definitely going to keep a "fat" outfit to put on now! That is a brilliant idea! What I'm concerned about is that even if I am paying attention to what I'm eating and how much etc, that food is still my first thought when I'm stressed or upset... or bored for that matter. I know that I need to get in front of that behavior before I get to the point where I actually can eat enough that will undermine my ability to keep losing. Taking a walk is an awesome idea. I kind of feel I need to build an arsenal of ideas and possibly also put a couple of signs on the pantry and fridge along the lines of "take a breath and take a walk."

Just for the record - the link between glucose resistance and artificial sweeteners I referred to was in no way correlative. It was an experimental study done in mice. Cause and effect. http://www.nature.com/nature/journal/v514/n7521/abs/nature13793.html However as I said before sugar and natural sweeteners such as agave (which can be 90% fructose) are very directly tied to metabolic disorder in a large way and not just glucose resistance but fatty liver and every other symptom of it so I'm not feeling much like artificial sweeteners are evil in comparison (though I don't love the flavor for the most part)

@@Stevehud While I totally agree that the vilifying of artificial sweeteners without data is absurd, and I find much of the correlative data used in these arguments to be ridiculous, there is actually data to suggest that some artificial sweeteners change the intestinal flora in a non beneficial way that can release chemicals that can cause symptoms of metabolic disorder (specifically glucose intolerance) in mice. I believe it was saccharine that was specifically looked at in this study. That said, the studies that show how incredibly bad sugar and super high fructose substances such as agave and all those natural sweeteners are for you in terms of development of liver disease and metabolic disorder are fairly incontrovertible at this point so I'm not feeling that much more at risk with artificial stuff frankly.

I think some nutritionists do assume that we're idiots because we're fat and don't know anything because clearly if we knew anything we wouldn't be. Fortunately my nutritionist did her learning curve before I got to her. She did admit that when she first started working at bariatric clinic (exclusively with WLS patients) she did think that WLS was the easy way out and that working there she'd really learned that it wasn't. She is also super available through e-mail and phone if I have concerns or questions and sometimes will even check with the medical staff before responding. On the whole I'm very pleased. And yes like most nutritionists she recommended the artificial sugar Protein drinks, but as it turns out that's a normal medical recommendation for surgery on the digestive tract of any kind (even in pets) because you can get really sensitive to sugar and fat. I still can't really handle them even in an effort to increase my calories because I'm not getting enough in for normal energy levels. However hearing my surgeon suggest eating ice cream to get the calories up was highly amusing.

Thank you! Yeah sleep seems like the way to go. I haven't heard about the allergies improving though that would be fantastic! The cpap is just a nose one but it doesn't seem to matter. I managed to get used to it somewhat before the surgery but since the surgery I can't seem to get used to it again. Oh well! I hope you can fix the issue with the straps, that sounds like it would be unpleasant.

Yup and while I have it, it's fairly mild and mostly caused by allergies. It might be making things worse because I can't sleep with a cpap on and if I take a sleeping pill to do so I always wake up with it off. But I am about 5 weeks out so that may well be the issue. I just keep hearing people talk about how much they're working out and I feel like such a slacker for not doing more, particularly when I've been given a ton of exercises and workout challenges by the fitness person and I barely managed a walk yesterday. I keep meaning to get up earlier to exercise but the reality is that it's all I can do to get to the office on time and after work I just want to sleep. Were you tested for sleep apnea before surgery? Do you think that might be a possibility? I was only recently diagnosed with it, despite complaining to my doctor for 2+ years about how tired I am all the time. Of course, he blamed the fatigue on my weight alone and recommended more exercise. Since getting a Cpap I sleep much better and usually wake up feeling rested, as opposed to before it when I'd wake up just as tired as when I went to bed. That aside, your info says you had surgery in June, but not what part of june. Well, even if you had it at the beginning, you're at most 7 weeks post-op. I've seen plenty of people on here saying they still had a lot of fatigue by then. Not everyone maybe, but I think it's still likely from surgery.

So I'm at a low point with this myself. I've been so exhausted that I'm only now even remotely thinking of trying to work out and mostly that's because I'm supposed to be at this point. The rest is because I know it helps me emotionally and things have been stressful so I need that lift. But the reality is that all I want to do is rest. I've been told I'm too low on calories and that increasing them will help but mostly what it does is cause massive nausea. I'm going to try to see if I can get a few minutes tomorrow to just go outside and walk while I'm at work. I guess I'm feeling really lonely in this. I used to be very active - even while heavy - but recently it's like someone drained the tank. It certainly started before the surgery but it's lasting a lot longer than it's "supposed" to.

I don't mind. I developed a heart arrythmia (atrial fibrillation) around 18 months post op. The band surrounds the vagus nerve which controls, among other things, heart rhythm. I ended up in ER with my heart completely out of rhythm, beating at a rate that was close to having me have a stroke, and blood pressure also sky high. It took seven hours to bring everything around using medication, and now I'm on medication for life. I had my band's restriction loosened so as not to touch on the vagus nerve and just went back in last month to get a bit of fill as I'm gaining weight and hungry all the time. Immediately following the small fill, I went back into atrial fibrillation. That's pretty conclusive evidence that there is a correlation, at least with my particular anatomy. If you google gastric band, or lap band + atrial fibrillation, you will see a lot of people who have now experienced this. There are several on this forum right here. So yes, I regret what I did. Living with a-fib is no picnic, and the side effects of the three medicines I now have to take have greatly compromised my quality of life: extreme fatigue, memory loss, inability to do any sports that might raise my heartrate...wish I had chosen a different path. Would a sleeve revision correct the afib?

I totally get that it's become symbolic and as such is the perfect focus. And yes it might be convenient but it's not important enough to push yourself if you're not ready. Sounds like your therapist knows their stuff. I know your mom wasn't responsible for her actions, but from my perspective you get to feel the anger and hurt, because while as an adult you know these things your feelings are still those of that child who was, and that child deserves to feel angry and hurt without someone, even you, in any way trying to dismiss or invalidate those feelings. You were a defenseless child and there is no set of circumstances that makes it less awful that this happened to you. My research focus in school had to do with trauma and the neurology of trauma survivors. One thing I found really interesting (for personal reasons) is that from a neural function POV (based on imaging) that an unresolved trauma such as this lights up the present tense experience portions of the brain instead of the memory portions of the brain. The research I've seen seems to indicate that allowing your self to experience the emotion fully and not suppress it is the best way to move it from present tense to past tense neurologically which is where it wont have so much power over your day to day experience. It's why prolonged exposure therapy is considered the gold standard for treatment. It can be rough to get through, but it works. It's also why I get mad at people who try to negate other's feelings.

Thanks for the suggestion! I actually love hummus and wondered if that was going to be allowed. I haven't made it to that appt yet where we discuss the details of the after op diet. I did choke down some cottage cheese a few nights ago, but I was just angry/sad the whole time. It totally still feels like a punishment. I'm going to try a couple of more times to break that association, but I honestly don't know if I can. My therapist thinks I can, but she has way more faith than I do at this point! So from a behavioral psych point of view I'm sure it's an association that can be broken.... I guess I'm wondering why it's important to. I don't mean that the hold that the past has shouldn't be worked on I guess I'm just wondering if there aren't more important things to work on than cottage cheese. However, if your therapist hasn't suggested any desensitization exercises, you might want to either discuss them or look some up. As a basic idea though I wouldn't start with actually eating the cottage cheese (which I get may sound like a waste) but just having it on your plate regularly and particularly while you're having a really nice time with people. Then maybe have a bite or two with something that you really like flavor wise, again, regularly, and particularly while you're having a fun time with people you have positive associations with. Basically the idea is to just get used to having it around until it doesn't cause you anxiety and then increase the exposure bit by bit. Jumping into eating full portions of it from the beginning sounds like a less optimal plan in terms of potential success.

Hah - yeah I thought that was weird too before it happened to me. I was recently annoyed by a fitness specialist type who said that "they" knew how to get around that. That one should decrease what you're taking in and increase output... I was not impressed by this idea at all given that at the time I was relying on low calorie Protein drinks and almost nothing else as I was having so much trouble with nausea that I was trying to get in one actual serving of soft food but barely managing and was probably fairly consistently under 600 calories and at that level barely had the calories to function on. I've only started losing again in the past couple of days and that was after I finally pushed past the nausea and started getting significantly more food and calories in. Which was what my nutritionist said would probably happen when I did so, so I'm trusting her a lot more than the fitness specialist just in general atm. There are all sorts of reasons given (liver replumping with glycogen, actual food fills the digestive system which has weight though not specifically being "your" weight, blah blah blah) I don't actually care at this point. It happens. It doesn't last forever. I'm good with that.

I don't know that I felt guilt... but I did wish I had been able to do it without surgery. However recently I've noticed that this is FAR harder than losing weight the normal way. I have done it successfully and just not kept it off and I'm telling you that was NEVER this hard. This IS the hard way. It is also the only way I'm going to be able to keep it off. I know I'm still in the healing phase and can barely manage the calories in a day to do more than function at work, and working out (which I'm only now cleared to do) sounds like a bad joke but I also know that's going to improve as well. And I know that I have family members who don't approve and aren't saying anything because I announced it with the blanket statement that I didn't want input and maybe when I'm having an easier time with it they will as well because my post op pain was pretty severe and they could see that. But I also know that this was absolutely the right decision for me. You know how sometimes things just start falling into place? That started happening for me when I made this decision. It may have been the domino effect, it may have been fate, or it may have been that finally I was ready to make decisions that put my own well being first but since making this decision my life has started shifting. I'm still mostly focused on the day to day of healing and getting healthy, but the bigger picture is looking pretty good in a way it hasn't before.

I'm sure that the nutritionist would have better advice, however as someone who also struggles with anemia, I use the Celebrate chewable with Iron and then boost that with a Bariatric Advantage iron chew (the chocolate raspberry chew) and it got me up to normal before the surgery. She also says to make sure that I do not take any of the iron containing supplements along with calcium as calcium blocks the iron absorption. So does coffee and Fiber fyi. Taking it shortly before a meat based Protein meal is probably to your best advantage. I have been very fatigued since the surgery but I'm still only a month out and my nut says that's because I am having issues getting enough calories in. We'll be checking the iron again in a month and a half though and hopefully it will still be normal then.

I'm sure that the nutritionist would have better advice, however as someone who also struggles with anemia, I use the Celebrate chewable with Iron and then boost that with a Bariatric Advantage iron chew (the chocolate raspberry chew) and it got me up to normal before the surgery. She also says to make sure that I do not take any of the iron containing supplements along with Calcium as calcium blocks the iron absorption. So does coffee and Fiber fyi. Taking it shortly before a meat based Protein meal is probably to your best advantage. I have been very fatigued since the surgery but I'm still only a month out and my nut says that's because I am having issues getting enough calories in. We'll be checking the iron again in a month and a half though and hopefully it will still be normal then.