rosepose

Okay... Everyone has really good points, but those big loves are built on something more than a few weeks of dating. Mostly we don't sit down on the first date and say all the big hard things and wait to see who flinches first. It's not relationship chicken. The trust to share these things is built on the positive experiences that build the affection and the slow sharing of hard stuff and seeing how it is responded to. If in the first two months you're still building that trust, then that's not lies of omission or otherwise - it's the pace of that relationship. It gets to have it's own pace and you get to open up at the rate you're comfortable with. (It's called having healthy boundaries and not being codependent.) It doesn't mean that at five years or twenty you wont be completely open and trusting of each other. It just means that the level of intimacy and trust that you have at two months is still in it's infancy as you learn about each other and the relationship and decide if it's going to work in the long term. That said, if you're ashamed of your past it will always have more control over you than you want it to. Own your shame stories so they don't own you. Particularly as so many women have eating disorders. Being ashamed of it and the underlying stuff is kind of (for me) a trap and a trigger. But that has nothing to do with when you share this info with him or anyone else - that is totally your own call. And you're absolutely right. Some people aren't supportive and don't respond well. It can be a big thing to share. People can be judgmental about this surgery - which is a great reason not to tell your coworkers. If someone you're closely involved with is going to be judgy then you might want to reconsider just how involved you get because that's not the only thing they'll be judgy about.

I think it varies. I had a hiatal hernia repaired at the same time and I'm sure that made it worse. My first night was really tough even with the dilauded every couple of hours. I was sleeping all the time and needed the pain meds for about a week though towards the end I was cutting them in half. I also am still finding that I need to take it really easy. I have bursts of energy and then overdo things and am a bit useless for a couple of days.

Oh I was really frustrated my first week!!! It felt like I didn't lose anything for days at a time and then only a pound and then nothing again! I think my system was in shock and went into lock down. I'm only 11 days out now but things have started moving. I think I have to put the scale away - the three week stall sounds crazy making.

I'm really sorry pritidev - I just reread your post... I hear you taking care of everyone else. Who's taking care of you? You had major surgery. Of course you're tired. You need to recover. I know parenting doesn't come with vacations but holy moly this is a lot to recover from. I really hope someone is looking after you too.

I think we all have our own normal. I do know that the nurse who called to check on me after the surgery was extremely clear (to the point of insistent) that I make sure to get 60 grams of Protein a day and 64 oz of liquid and that without it things could get bad... she was threatening me with saline IVs and things like that. I have also found that not all Protein drinks are the same. Some I can keep down far better than others. I have better luck with Muscle Milk than the other's I've tried so far myself. For instance I can tell you that from my perspective Premier Protein literally tastes better on the way up (and out) than on the way down... and the powder tends to taste a little better to me than the premixed stuff. I also started adding coconut Water into my liquids because it's extremely hydrating and has all the electrolytes and stuff needed for maximum absorption. It did seem to help me. I'd call my doctor if I were you. They might have other options. For instance I started mixing the unjury unflavored protein in with instant pudding mix (and adding a TBSP of P2B powder as Peanut Butter totally covers that nasty after taste) in order to help get extra protein in.

Hi - I haven't had any mood swings yet, (though I did get a little snappy at people when I ate a teeny bite of something I shouldn't have and was doubled over in pain) but my nutritionist warned me to expect them for the first six weeks as did the psych consult. They were really clear that depression and mood swings were absolutely normal and to be expected and wanted to make sure I'd reach out if I was having trouble with them. My nut said that the mood swings were in part because there's a lot of estrogen stored in fat and rapid weight loss can cause PMS like symptoms. I have to admit it was the first thing they said that really gave me pause. It was not a description I took lightly. My first week of weight loss has felt a little slow, so that's been discouraging based on the pain etc but I'm looking forward (???) to those mood swings that mean the weight loss is going well. - Oh and about the family eating thing? I'm soooo with you! I've been staying with my parents while I recover and while I'm choking down Protein drinks that taste AWFUL (am I the only one who thinks unjury has an aftertaste that tastes like bile???) my mother is making her usual unbelievably excellent french and Mediterranean cooking. I don't think I ever really appreciated what an amazing cook she is before.