rosepose

Lol! People can't win. I HATE comments about my appearance when I'm losing weight.... Actually I don't like comments about my body under most circumstances. Cute hair? Fine. Nice outfit? Fine. "you're looking thinner" as they look at my body... they might as well say "great boobs" in terms of how inappropriate it feels.

I'd be sorely tempted to stop buying the unhealthy snacks if I were you. If he's so into the healthy stuff then awesome! why waste shelf space on the unhealthy stuff. Use that space for enough healthy stuff for both of you.

It's an herbal tea not a caffeinated one. I'd clarify that one with your doc myself as I'm finding it MUCH easier to get down peppermint or chamomile tea (unsweetened) than water these days. It's really helping me stay hydrated. OH Thanks for that bit of info. The Nut did say I could have herbal teas. Something I very seldom have. Is green tea consisted a herbal tea. If it isn't green tea than I usually have black. So I gather black tea is out of the questions for at least 2 months when the surgery happens sometime in 2016 Green tea isn't generally considered an herbal tea as it has caffeine and actually comes from the same plant that black tea comes from. It's just processed slightly differently. Herbal teas can be quite nice. You might check out celestial seasons stuff. You might like it.

It's an herbal tea not a caffeinated one. I'd clarify that one with your doc myself as I'm finding it MUCH easier to get down peppermint or chamomile tea (unsweetened) than Water these days. It's really helping me stay hydrated.

So I'm sure I'm going to have to do something similar with clothes because when I get into the normal range I'm going to destroy my wallet with one or two short trips to the Macy's designer section. I'm going to try to wait until my weight is stable though just so I can wear them for a while. I'm also really looking forward to being at a place where I can travel again - I LOOOOOVEEE traveling and as my diet still mostly consists of Protein drinks and other things that have gone through a blender I'm hesitant to even try for another few months. I'm still really early days with this only having been sleeved 3 weeks ago, but for me my motivation hasn't ever been weight loss per se. I decided to do this after an uncle died. He had been overweight and had diabetes and heart problems and one day he had a ventral fibrillation and collapsed on his way to see friends. By the time he was resuscitated he had suffered massive cortical brain death from the lack of oxygen. It really affected me because I found myself identifying with him and seeing his death as my future. He was alone and unhappy and felt undeserving of love (though there were so many people who truly loved him). His health was poor but he had been unable to find the self love to do what was needed to get healthy.... He had left what he had to his nieces and nephews, not having children of his own, and I decided to use what he left me to not just get healthier but to deal with the emotional issues we had in common and find a way to be happy and like myself. I'm not so much focused on the numbers at this point (though I totally check the scale regularly) because I know for me as I lose weight the attention I get will actually make me miserable and bring up issues and fears I wont want to deal with. Right now I'm bracing myself for that and looking into therapists who can help me with that. So that's my goal and also my reward: Liking myself enough to take care of myself emotionally and physically as well as allowing myself to get close to others again so I can have a fuller more connected life that isn't ruled by fears from past traumas. ... okay how much of a downer was that!?! I'm going to add I'm totally going to the spa and getting pampered to within an inch of my life for every major milestone/20 lbs.

Aw!! I'm so sorry! That must have really hurt. You're going through this major change and you want to share it with them. I totally get that! I think there might be 2 things going on with them - the first being that sometimes when we're really excited about something we talk about it all the time. Like when friends get married and all they ever talk about is their wedding which is actually really fun for a couple of weeks but at month 3 you kind of want to talk about something else already? But it's a really big positive life changing event and your'e still happy for them and love them and support them, you just want to talk about it a little less in balance with other things because it's not YOUR big life changing event and for you there are still other things going on that interest you. The other - and I think this is the part you're probably responding to more as it's the more painful of the two - is that when we change in a big way, the dynamics of our closest relationships change too. They have to. And that can cause those that we're closest to some discomfort which can lead to resistance and resentment from them. It causes them to have to disrupt their patterns and reassess their own stuff when they might not actually want to and that can cause unpleasantness. I've run into exactly that with stuff that has nothing to do with weight loss over the years. It's really hard! And good for you for not allowing it to change what you're doing. I have totally crumbled in the face of that in the past - I was much younger then but looking back I know I chose their comfort over my own emotional health and happiness more than once. It really hurts, but if that's what's going on then it might help to remember that it's not actually about you or how much they love you so much as the painful issues within themselves that are coming up for them in response to these changes. Possibly they need a little time to process them and you need distance from them while they're doing so in order to protect and nurture these positive changes that you're experiencing.

Referred pain means that stimulus on one area of the body is causing perceived pain in another area of the body other than where the stimulus is occurring. This is normally because the nerves that run through the area that is being stimulated also run through the other area. However ear pain is surprising to me as I can't remember off the top of my head any nerves that run through both areas... though I am familiar with some that run back to the same spinal paths, so that could be it... In any case that kind of nerve confusion is why if an amputee is having phantom itching on their amputated arm they can scratch their nose and it goes away. My doctor told me that if the pain only occurs when eating (I had a similar experience right after moving to puree) then it's probably an indication that I ate too much or that my bites were too big and to use that as a way to know what my body's limits were and not push them so as not to stretch or damage anything. If they're only happening when you're lying down then probably the shift in direction changes pressure on things and pushes against the diaphragm. With my doctor's office what they were concerned about was that shoulder pain that doesn't go away (non-transient) after you finish digesting or whatever after day 3 or so can be a symptom of a complication. So they did want to hear about it if it happened.

Yes, that's referred pain because the nerves that run to your diaphragm also go through your shoulder. Did you get a hiatal hernia repair at the same time? That can cause it. However I'd actually recommend you call your doctor about this. Shoulder pain past day 3 my surgeon seemed to want to hear about.

Okay - pain means a problem in this case. I'm really glad you went to the ER. I hope they were able to get things um... moving as it were. My uncle and my dad both had spinal surgery a while ago with my dad they gave him a laxative to take following surgery - with my uncle they didn't and he was soooooo miserable at 4 days out. His wife took him to emergent care and after that things were MUCH better. Anesthesia can really do a number on people unfortunately. And as much as constipation is something we joke about, when it's bad it's actually a real problem no matter how much it seems like it shouldn't be. My brother works in an ER and it's surprising the problems constipation can cause as well as how many times he's had to deal with it. It's not actually something to take lightly when it gets bad even though we all do. Again - I'm glad you went to the ER.

I think I'd have gone lost it too frankly. That's just blatantly thoughtless and inconsiderate. However I may not be in the best place to assess that either. Until today I was doing just fine and I'm noticing that today that holy Hannah the hormones have landed. I was warned, but for the first couple weeks managed to sleep through it or something. Today I'm crying at the drop of a hat over stupid things and super sensitive about stuff I normally wouldn't care about. I'm sure your doc told you but rapid weight loss floods your system with hormones because estrogen is stored in fat... So I guess I'm losing quickly... woohoo? I'm planning on making chamomile tea a regular part of my hydration plan and hope it helps a lot.

my surgery was June 30th and I have not been if I don't go by Monday I'm going to the er I been taking stool softener since I been in the hospital If you're not uncomfortable I wouldn't worry too much... but I'd also try "smooth move" tea. I didn't go for nearly a week after my surgery and my nutritionist said this was normal between the anesthesia and the liquid diet. However I found it weird and drank the tea to speed things up. It's good to have on hand for this sort of thing.

You're far enough out that I'm hesitant to give any advice, but I've been finding "smooth move" tea (got it at Safeway or a health store with no problems) to be helpful along with making sure my liquid intake is high enough... later I also plan on eating a fair amount of fruit as it generally has a higher Fiber content than your average bran Cereal or vegetable.

The shower and pillow defiantly helped. Thank you for the advice ❤️❤️❤️ Yay! I'm so glad that helped!!!

I had soooo much trouble with what felt like my lungs but was actually my lungs pressing on my diaphragm when I inhaled. I had a hiatal hernia repair at the same time and that made the pain much worse. Hugging a pillow while I tried to take a deep breath and cough (which I had been told to do regularly) helped a lot. So did a really steamy shower to get the lungs clear.

Mine was done outpatient but I spent most of the night in recovery with them trying to get the pain under control and making sure everything was okay. I think how long you stay is less about pain and more about whether or not you're showing symptoms of complications. It's actually better for your recovery to leave earlier. You're less likely to get a post op infection with a shorter stay in the hospital because you're less likely to get exposed to someone with an infectious disease. They do their best but it still happens. It's one of the reasons why, if you're not sick, they get you out of there after a surgery as quickly as they can. If you talk to them about pain and go in, ask about an injected NSAID (non-steroidal anti-inflamitory - like ibuprofen but way stronger). They gave me one and I think it helped more than any of the other pain meds and helped get things under control so the dilauded and tylenol actually helped.

So that's actually not a great sign from what I was told by my Dr. and nutritionist - it can stretch out the sleeve and just generally suck. That pain is part of the feedback your body is giving you - if it hurts it's not good and it's too much. I was told to do the following: get really small bowls/plates and forks/spoons - small bites and slow eating are critical to not putting pressure on things Measure your food before you eat. - get half cup scoops and if that's too much get a 1/3 cup or 1/4th cup scoop and start with that Find a way to eat more slowly. This is hard for everyone of any size - we aren't socialized to eat slowly. For myself I have to eat while doing something else with my hands right now. I type and pick up the bowl and fork (I eat anything that isn't pure liquid with a fork - including yogurt - because it's less shovel like than a spoon) take a bite or two and put the bowl down and go back to typing. As soon as I have the first indication that I'm approaching full I put the bowl and fork into the refrigerator and walk away before it hurts. If I leave it near by I will keep eating absentmindedly and it will hurt.

That pain is while you're on pain pills? So while I totally agree that you should call your doctor or go to the ER if they're not in today if it's really bad - I was MISERABLE for the first few days. Every sip had me doubled over. I stayed with my parents for the first week and my dad has a shiatsu massage chair we got him for fathers day a few years ago - the percussion setting really helped with getting gas up. (Its now referred to as the burping chair.) The surgical gas that is in your abdomen after the surgery is freaking uncomfortable in my opinion and I was on dilauded. I guess what I'm saying is, yes a lot of people had little pain, but many of us had loads of it without it indicating any complications or problems at all. While checking in with a doctor is important any time you're unsure if symptoms are okay, you don't need to worry that something is wrong just because you're not pain free. My doctor was pretty clear that it varies and that while some people are off pain pills in a couple of days others need them for weeks.

NO, but that would be awesome! please share it if you find/write one!

Oh I so feel you!!! My first week I lost less than that. I went for days and days without losing an ounce and it confused the crap out of me! But as I healed and adjusted and the swelling went down and my body came out of shock from the surgery the weight started to go faster. But it's not a done deal. It's still a process and doesn't happen overnight... just faster than it would otherwise. But I promise you're losing inches and your body is in shock and will pause from time to time to catch up with what's happening in other areas. But it's still happening!!!

@@downsizingdiva - I agree - if you're a very private person then that is something you get to keep to yourself. Also I hate it when people assess my body when I'm losing weight. In the past it's been a lot of the reason why I've regained the weight. I'm very uncomfortable with it. I decided on the sleeve because I knew that I wasn't going to get over that reaction so I needed to get past that stage without backsliding. It's my own variation of prolonged exposure therapy. I am very private but I also SUCK at prevaricating so I'm generally more straightforward because that makes it easier for me. Actually I'm trying to be more open about this than I would normally be because for me a lot of what fat is involves hiding myself. I don't want to be wallpaper anymore - I want to be comfortable being myself. So I'm taking off the disguise and (for me!) part of that is being myself and allowing others their reactions and working at not making their reactions about me when mostly it's about them. That said I 100% support anyone who want's total privacy or any variation therein. This is your body and your medical process so it is 100% your decision who you tell EVER.

Your therapist lectured you?!? If there wasn't a really solid background for that and even if there was.... How insanely unprofessional!!!!! I'm sure you otherwise have a very good relationship with them or you wouldn't see them but from my point of view that was really not okay. I am not a therapist but I do have a masters in psychology (experimental) and while my focus was on neurology it's not like I was never exposed to the classes the counseling students had to take. From my POV based on that exposure that response was really borderline. Though people really do have a very strong emotional response sometimes. It's why I found I liked telling people in e-mail so they could process the idea before I had to talk to them about it. Actually - oddly - I had never considered WLS for myself until one of my friends from school brought it up. We were both highly research focused and he had come across some studies about ghrelin production and VGS. The side effect rate with the bypass surgeries had scared me in the past. When I spoke to my PCP about it she was a little taken aback for a moment and without dismissing the idea did offer other alternatives but she also treats my mom who has type 2 diabetes and when I was discussing the health reasons and said I don't want to get diabetes like my mom she said "Neither do I!" and immediately was one of my staunchest supporters.

I had my surgery on June 15th as well. I'm feeling better every day. Good luck with your journey.

I did something a little weird about this. I told my parents and siblings, making it clear that this was not a discussion but a decision I'd made (the one exception to this was one of my brother's who is a doctor and I wanted input from a medical "what they don't tell you" point of view but still told him to hold the personal commentary) but did make it clear that this was a health related decision which seemed to matter to all of them very much. I then told the friends I've been closest to over the years... It wasn't completely intentional but I've used the response to decide whether or not they stay close. If they followed up and checked in and cared enough to wish me well etc they stayed close... if they were weird about it they were moved further away. I know this may seem a little harsh but frankly, this is a big decision and it's been only a few weeks so I'm trying to let other people's emotional processes be their own and happen elsewhere if they cant manage to be supportive while I deal with some really big changes. That said, people talk to each other, and my sister in law's family is massive and of course all in laws now know everything. They're sweet people but "not fat enough" isn't actually a compliment, nor is it a medical diagnosis. Plus I carry weight evenly so whether or not I look "fat enough" my insulin levels and cholesterol (though not thank goodness my actual blood sugar yet) were on the rise and I had no desire to die from weight related issues. On the whole though this isn't something I know how to keep quiet from people I see day to day during the recovery phase. After I return to work etc I'm thinking I'll do my best only to share the info with people who have earned my trust.

I hate making excuses for passive-aggressive people who do nasty digs in ways that everyone excuses them for as just being awkward. He was being an ass - stop pretending he's just a clueless guy. Clueless guys would have included a "you look great/good job" type comment in with the rest of that nonsense and inappropriate sharing and tone TOTALLY matters. He knew what he was doing. And I don't blame his wife either. He's perfectly capable of being an asshole all on his own. I mean she may or may not be awful but it's not fair to blame her for this one as he said it and being a grown man is responsible for his own behavior whether she said anything or not. I think maybe boring is not the only reason you're not friends with them. Well done for not making a scene for your kid... I hope you have the opportunity to destroy him in he future. (I may possibly be burnt out on people's reaction to my surgery just at this moment...)