rosepose

I so get this! The psych consult mentioned that this will change relationships and he clarified that everyone thinks it means "it will end my marriage" or something but food is SO much a part of how and when we connect in a real way with other people that not being able to eat changes things. My friends and I tend to meet up over a meal because that's when we had time to see each other in a busy week. When the surgery came up they said "we can find something else to do" which was a great intention that didn't really work out that way. So when I saw a broth based high Protein non spicy Soup on the menu of a friend's favorite restaurant (IE, normal food I could eat) I absolutely celebrated. I only had a few bites as I'm still learning what I can handle and got a bite that was too big in about the first 5 seconds but I enjoyed the crap out of that dinner. And the next day when I took the leftovers and cut them up into tiny pieces I enjoyed the crap out of the soup as I've basically been living on Protein drinks I hate as I'm having a really tough time with nausea. And next time I'll know to cut the soup up in the restaurant so I'll enjoy both the dinner and the food at the same time. I'm not saying fast food and pizza didn't contribute to my weight - they're really easy gotos when you've been working until midnight and don't have food in the house and the stores are closed and you haven't had dinner and you have deadlines that make you feel guilty for taking the time to cook or shop anyway... drive through it is. But the reality is that I pretty much hate almost all fast food restaurants and my weight while definitely carb related is more a volume issue than a choice of food issue. However the knowledge that I can go to dinner with friends who have a hard time finding time for other things, or lunch with colleagues whom I'm still getting to know and build relationships with, and have a couple of bites of whatever is being had or at least soup from the menu.... That is something I'm happy about. Mind you people think I'm a little obsessed with soup, but the point is the same.

This site isn't bad in terms of recipes as well: theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com. I think for myself however what is going to be key is basically small baking dishes such as this: http://www.amazon.com/HIC-6-Ounce-Ceramic-Souffle-Dish/dp/B006ITA2RI/ref=pd_bxgy_79_img_y With something like that I can prep a casserole type dish (soft, with sauce etc) measure it out into the tiny dishes and freeze all but one or two. And maybe Pyrex like bowls with lids for slow cooker recipes so that it can then be frozen. I will be able to manage this far better if I'm not cooking every day. I simply don't have the energy right now.

thanks Rose. What got me thinking about this was salsas. Sounds crazy right? But on every FB page the first thing I usually see in a recipe section is some amazing salsa to help the food go down. It made me realize I don't even know how to make that! Lol. Well I can follow directions so I guess I just need to roll up my sleeves once the time comes. Meal prepping is also something foreign to me. But I'm researching and getting knowledgable about how planning is key. Well - salsa, aside from requiring a lot of chopping, is pretty easy all in all. I totally get the difficulty though. I need to go buy tiny storage cups or something because my stuff sits in the freezer at this point and I've been living off of Protein drinks. My nutritionist told me I need to eat more calories. Hahaha! No one has ever said that to me before, it was awesome. And hopefully if I manage to do so I'll have more energy and wont be such a blob at the end of the day anymore.

Well, my mom got me a Tapas recipe book. Tiny servings of awesome food. It's not a bad idea. I'm pretty on top of things in the kitchen (or was before) but now find myself having to rethink cooking as there winds up being an insane amount of food if I follow a normal recipe. I'm only slightly further out than you are but it is a process and I'm throwing away more than I eat some days and a doggy bag lasts almost a week.

I kind of think that there are times that you get to fall apart and that this is one of them. My advice is to let yourself. I certainly have always used food to suppress or anesthetize the pain to hold it together or avoid stress and I'm guessing you're probably similarly inclined. But if you're at all like me, it doesn't actually make the hurt go away. The only thing that helps is letting myself cry and be sad and rage and write letters with all the things I still needed to say to the person I lost. A couple years ago I lost several people in a short period of time (I started flinching whenever the phone rang) and frankly, sitting on the sofa and crying for several days straight helped a lot more than the Cookies I ate to avoid doing just that. I'd also suggest reaching out to your support group or therapist (or find some if you don't have them already).

One of the first things I asked my nutritionist was if I'd still be allowed to have sushi. She said yes but to wait until after I was back on real foods just to be careful. However I was talking sashimi and a small cup of miso. California rolls are mostly soft stuff so while I'd wait for soft foods if you're good on them and your nutritionist is reasonably okay with it I'd say go for it.

Massive vomiting tends to happen for me for the first several days after I change food restrictions while I learn my limits and what "soft foods" means for me as opposed to the general guidelines. And I'm so glad I'm not the only one who gets the slime! I have no idea what that is but it's really weird.

Hi - I had a gastric sleeve four weeks ago and have been losing weight steadily but I'm noticing I'm having MORE joint pain than I ever did before... has anyone else run into this? Before I go running to my GP about this I was wondering if anyone had any insight.

Holy Hannah! That's a lot! Have you asked your immunologist? Or whatever specialist deals with autoimmune stuff... They might be able to give you some insight. I'm sure you're surgeon can also be able to offer insight. I have a friend with Sjogren's. Hers is pretty far progressed but I know it's been a battle for her and I hope things have progressed in the research to the point where there's better care for the disease. Good luck!

I'm still running into it at a month out but it's definitely less than it was. Hopefully eventually it will go away all together.

Mine is in my hands and feet and shoulder... It may well be because I'm holding myself incorrectly for my changing body mass or something - but the hands threw me. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one though. I will try massage. that may well help and even if it doesn't I'll enjoy it.

I am only 4 weeks out and I have no regrets or complications and I am losing weight steadily but I've been one of the people who has way more pain than others as well as mood swings from the hormones released from rapid fat loss so I'm not in the honeymoon phase just yet though I'm hoping I'll be there soon. I do have a little advice though - research your surgeon. I did and I am so grateful for it. Mine had done over 1000, none of which had to be converted from laparoscopic to open, and I am absolutely sure that doing this contributes to a better outcome.

I'm four weeks out now and I have to say it is not always easy and all the "no pain on day 2" stuff had me with really off expectations. Fortunately my surgeon very straight forward and explained that some people experienced that and others had a much harder time. It was good to have that honesty. It made me much better prepared for the suck fest that the first couple weeks occasionally were. Let me be be absolutely clear - I do not regret this decision and I do not have complications - but this is NOT easy or magic and like I said to my doctor when he asked me if I was excited just before the surgery "No! I want it to be six weeks from now already." I have been losing steadily and I'm pleased with that but surprisingly it's taking a far back seat to the process of healing and learning how to eat without vomiting or pain. I'm learning how much I can eat and what. It's all improving steadily and I have every hope that at 3 months I'll be fully back up on energy and mood. I'm glad I made this decision, but this is major surgery and that is not something to take lightly.

Actually the sleeve has been around for decades just not as a weight loss surgery. It's the same surgery they do for stomach cancer and perforated ulcers (more so before they discovered ulcers could be treated with antibiotics of course) so long term side effects are extremely well known (and few) they just haven't been studied in a weight loss capacity for long.

I'm not 100% sure what I'm going to wind up being happy eating as I'm still learning about what my body will tolerate - and it seems to shift which is confusing for me. For instance I've always loved avocado (super healthy oils loads of Vitamins and Fiber - good stuff) and was happy to be able to have some at a week or two out from surgery. However yesterday - at slightly over 3 weeks out I had a tiny cup of cubed ripe avocado with a little salt and lemon and I thought I would die after a couple of pieces. The weird thing is that while I'm sure the lemon made it worse, I think it was actually the avocado that my body was having issues with as I added a tiny amount into a broth based Soup later that evening and had that same response. I mean I know things are changing as I suddenly canned soup can seem spicy when I used to put a couple scotch bonnets into my homemade chili along with the jalapenos, (so hoping my spice tolerance goes back up) but avocado is practically baby food. That said - that burger (shared out with 8-10 other people) sounded awesome just now. And while I absolutely hope that my food tolerances are healthier in general, I really didn't like being on the receiving end of fat shaming before this surgery and I kind of find myself uncomfortable being on the other side of it now. We on this site literally had to remove portions of our bodies in order to get our health and eating under control. I'm not feeling as though I'm in any position to be morally superior about this one.

@MichiganChic The hair compliments are actually about your face looking thinner and their not quite attributing the change in how your face looks to the right place. Well done and I can see how nice it would be to switch jobs at that point so that you can just be your present self and not bring any baggage from the past along with you.

OMG! Ethnic food! I'm guessing French and Indonesian count and those were my mom's go-tos (holy moly the rice dishes from Indonesia.... and then topped with lots of coconut milk stewed meats and vegetables...) but I lived in a Jewish neighborhood when I lived in London and the BAKERIES!!!! Fresh hot bagels from the corner bakery on Sunday mornings. And coming in on the night bus after going out Saturday night and stopping at the bakery that was open 24/6 and getting fresh hot chocolate filled rugala (which was like croissant rather than the pie pastry ones I've found here) and cheese pizza for the post drinking meal when we weren't up for a kebab and fries... It's good I don't still live there. I'd have carbbed myself to death by now.

Yup - weird swelling, plus your liver is re-inflating from the low carb diet and your system is probably still in shock. Six lbs for the first week really isn't bad.

Yeah I think kidney removal gives you a giant pass until you're healthier. I was told not to do anything strenuous enough to break a sweat for the first month. On my first surgical follow up the nurse asked how much I was working out. I was confused and said that I had been told not to start working-out until my follow up with the fitness specialist at one month so I hadn't. She said "good answer! that was a trick question." That said I'm more looking for activities I enjoy that also count as exercise. I used to love hot yoga and hiking as well as swimming or really almost any Water related activity. I'm sure the fitness specialist will have other plans but I'm hoping there will be an overlap. I would however like to get into running at least a little which has never been something I enjoyed. I saw some pictures from a tough mudder that an in law posted and it looked like soooo much fun!

You know, that's actually some pretty great support right there. I have a few family members who I spent years trying to get their approval. I never did. Losing weight, being super nice, bending over backwards and generally being a doormat... nothing worked. I'm not saying it was easy but with a lot of work I reconciled that I'd probably never have it and that it didn't actually have anything to do with me and that I was worth taking care of and deserved to be happy even if that meant not having them in my life. I'm not saying that this is the situation with your sisters and mom, but some of the things you described made it sound like a hurtful relationship for you sometimes. I'm sure your mom and sisters want what's best for you, but that doesn't mean they actually know what that is. You get to do what's best for you and it sounds like the most important people are right there at your side to support you through it.

Hi there. I know how you feel with the lack of support. My mum is supportive of the surgery, but I live four hours away from her so she has not been to any appointments with me. My husband keeps asking me if I really want to do this, and frankly is a bit horrified at the idea of the surgery- he would prefer me not to go ahead with it and has also not come to info sessions or appointments. But I will be relying on him after the surgery because I have three primary school age kids. I had my gallbladder removed just under three weeks ago, and although I had hoped for help, by two days after being home from hospital it was back to me doing all the cooking, cleaning, getting kids to and from school etc and I am expecting much the same after getting sleeved. Unfortunately the rest of my family live near Newcastle 500km away (I am in Southern Tablelands, NSW) and I am not comfortable telling my friends here about the surgery (they are mostly parents of my kids school friends rather than my friends). I am relying on these forums for my support too ☺ Wow... can your mum come and visit for a week after your surgery? If not I'd go buy frozen meals enough to last for a week or two for your family. It's not as though you'll be bedridden but it's a bit tough for a few days and being around food you can't eat while you're still getting used to the situation and while you're drinking nothing but Protein drinks could be a bit rough. Once you're on soft foods you can make everyone stews and Soups you can also eat and it will all be rather easier.

I am having very similar problems. I'm supposed to get in 80 grams a day and it's really hard for me to do. I've just ordered the muscle milk pro 50 Protein powder so I can get more protein in one drink. I'm really sick of Protein drinks though.

I'm so sorry! That really sucks. My family wasn't doing cartwheels at my decision but they were more supportive than that in a slightly alarmed kind of way. I think that not going for their approval but figuring out what will make you healthy and happy is what's important here. It sounds like a difficult situation but there are support groups and support forums and loads of people out here who truly understand why you're making this choice and understand that perseverance is not the issue. No one here thinks that your decision is anything but brave or thinks that this path is the easy way. We get it. We're with you. And even if they never get it, there are support groups and friends you haven't met yet who will be there for you in the future you're building for yourself that includes making healthy decisions for yourself whatever that looks like.

Yeah I should clarify the point I failed to make - my food problems have to do with emotional eating not the food I was exposed to. My nutrition education as a kid was actually pretty good but food was and has always been how my mother shows love and comforts us. I only really noticed this because my sister is great with her kids on this level in that instead of offering a sad kid a cookie or a food treat of some kind she always says "do you need hugs?" or "do you want to talk about it?" or even "do you need space?" never ice-cream or pizza or a special meal. Food is fuel, love is love and comfort is comfort. And for me the sleeve is like installing breaks on my unhealthy coping mechanisms and forcing me to deal with them differently and hopefully more healthily. Edited to add: Oh and rewards aren't food either - no sugar treat for a good grade. Rewards are "great job" or even a fun activity. She's a great role model for me in this.

My mom is an amazing cook! When she and my dad were first married (pre VHS/DVD) she used to find out what was being prepared on that days Julia Child episode on PBS get out her cookbooks and measure and chop ingredients and then do the prep with the show so she got it just right. She said she'd go through 2 lbs of butter in a week cooking or just the two of them. Once as a child I had asked for a Twinkie like my friends had. I wanted to try one. My mom got so annoyed! She said she'd show me what Twinkies were supposed to taste like and bought me an eclair. When I was really young we lived overseas in a place where you couldn't even buy Pasta or cheese in the stores... so she made them by hand. Seriously, she can make liver taste amazing. All it takes is a mustard cream sauce. However by the time I was a little older there were five kids and my dad was seriously focused on not dying at 52 as his dad had. So the regular meal became salad, rice (often brown), a steamed vegetable, and broiled chicken. Liver for Breakfast on the weekends. Snacks and special recipes came out of the Pritiken Promise cookbook and my mom was miserable as cooking was her primary creative outlet. Weekly trips to a french restaurant after my piano lessons were a bonding activity for us and while my dad was at work we did eat a fair amount of fast food but by no means every day. My siblings never had weight issues as kids and I didn't really until I was in puberty. While the others occasionally have issues with weight as adults they seem to have had better luck with it just being a blip that happens in response to stress or injury that they then get under control whereas I have been overweight since my teens. I think that was in part because as the oldest and a girl I had to fight the hardest to be allowed to play sports. My parents were living over seas in a place gender equality is still an absurd idea during the whole get your girls playing sports things and holy crap when we got back I had to FIGHT to even be allowed to play soccer and didn't succeed until I was 10. All I had was swimming as that was a safety issue as we lived in a beach town so being a really good swimmer was very important. But food has always been how my mom comforted us and how she comforted herself. The same with several of her siblings who also have serious weight issues. So it was less about knowing what was healthy and more about not having a healthy emotional outlet.... at least it wasn't alcohol? Also she really hated being the only fat one in the family, so when I'd start to diet, the same woman who wouldn't buy Twinkies would buy double stuff Oreos which are my kryptonite.