Cingulus

I love clothes…my wife says I am just one hair’s breath away from being gay when it comes to clothes. However, today I deleted my email from Rochester’s Big and Tall. As all of us know one the purposes of the lap band is to delete many things from our lives (weight, health issues etc.), while have not had the surgery yet, I still deleted my Rochester’s Big and Tall email, because…I don’t plan on ever buying anything from them again. It may just be mental masturbation, but it feels good all the same. I suspect all of us have multiple sized wardrobes in our closet and I can say with confidence that I have plenty of clothes to go through the shrinking phases and come out on the other side without ever going to a big and tall store again. In the movie the replacements Gene Hackman, who plays a football coach, tells Keanu Reeves, the team’s quarterback…”I look at you and see two men, the man you are and the man you can be…someday they will meet and make a great quarterback.” That is kind how I feel about deleting my Rochester’s email. The day of my large self and smaller self are on a path of convergence and it will be a great day.

I was had a great day yesterday work was good, stayed on diet task with drinks, went to the gym. Then I went home and my son was making grilled cheese and chili for dinner. The smell was killing me, so I went up stairs hoping to escape the seductive aromas. That did not work…I could still caught the faint whiff of things tempting me below. I opened the windows and turn on the fan to draw it some fresh air…it still did not work. Finally, I left and went for a drive although I swear I could smell it on my clothes. By this point, I am sure it was sure my imagination was planning games with me, but it was stuck in my head. I remembered a scene from an old CSI where they put Vick’s vaper rub under their nose to get over the smell of decomposing corpses tried it…and it did worked. I am not sure what this means, but I may have to ban cooking the house for a few more weeks.

This is a great post. It also help keep things in perspective. Cingulus

OK some potential names for the May 09 crew: • May Marauders • Mini Mays • May Day Comrades • May Day Trippers • May Memorials • May Miniatures • The Mayans • May Maia’s (May was named after the greek goddess Maia) May - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia • The Cinco de Mayo’s (I think this was used) • May Raceways (The Indianapolis 500 is in May) Indianapolis 500 - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia • May Speedway • The Belatines (May 1st is the Irish start of summer) Beltane - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Here is list to start the debate 

I was had a great day yesterday work was good, stayed on diet task with drinks, went to the gym. Then I went home and my son was making grilled cheese and chili for dinner. The smell was killing me, so I went up stairs hoping to escape the seductive aromas. That did not work…I could still caught the faint whiff of things tempting me below. I opened the windows and turn on the fan to draw it some fresh air…it still did not work. Finally, I left and went for a drive although I swear I could smell it on my clothes. By this point, I am sure it was sure my imagination was planning games with me, but it was stuck in my head. I remembered a scene from an old CSI where they put Vick’s vaper rub under their nose to get over the smell of decomposing corpses tried it…and it did worked. I am not sure what this means, but I may have to ban cooking the house for a few more weeks.

I am have decided to avoid a final lap of lasts...Otherwise, I think I would go crazy and I think half the extra weight i have now is a result of to many lasts before to many diets. Here is want I put in my blog. Dear Food...I want a Divorce It is not that I don’t love you, but you’re not good for me. As they said in the movie…I just not that into you. I am sure you won’t take this news well and fight the inevitable. Please don’t. We got together when I was young and stupid and did not understand what I was doing to myself. Yes, we will have to see each other on occasion, but I promise it won’t be awkward. We will have a more business like relationship. I wish you all the best, but it is time for me to move on and correct the mistakes of my youth.

Paul Simon’s, aptly names anthology of solo hits is called “Negotiations and Love Songs.” He does a great job of capturing the often bizarre and illogical discussions and negotiations we have with ourselves. I think he has done a better job than most in capturing the 5 Stages of the Mourning (Denial, Sadness, Anger, Bargaining, and Acceptance). Well…last night I found myself locked in a mortal battle of wills with Denial. Obviously, I have spent years denying that I had a real problem and that I could overcome it with “will power” or the other great line “…I’ll just stop eating…” I have a friend, that is a recovered alcoholic, and he always said giving up booze was easier than food. Because, you CAN just stop drinking, stopping food eventually kills you… he always said that recovery rate would be zero, if every AA member had to take three shots a day, but was still required to stop all other drinking. So how did Denial sink it’s claws into me? I have been doing much better than I thought I would with the liquid diet, and the Queen of Denial was whispering to me last night…If you have done this good so far, just keep it up, skip the surgery and save the money…maybe your will power will hold out this time…ARRRRGGHHH. Denial is one seductive bitch! So how do you combat Denial? I use the mirror test. I taped a picture of me from high school/college times (about 190LBS), and one of a friend of mine who has the look I want when I get to the other side, then I stand naked in front of the mirror and ask myself do I look like the picture? Obviously the answer is No. Denial, I abjure you, I reject you and I will overcome you. The sweet siren song of Denial will not lead me to the rocky shores to find myself, again wrecked and wondering how it all went wrong. I know the Lapband is only a tool, but, it is also a weapon in a lifelong battle that I will win this time.

Paul Simon’s, aptly names anthology of solo hits is called “Negotiations and Love Songs.” He does a great job of capturing the often bizarre and illogical discussions and negotiations we have with ourselves. I think he has done a better job than most in capturing the 5 Stages of the Mourning (Denial, Sadness, Anger, Bargaining, and Acceptance). Well…last night I found myself locked in a mortal battle of wills with Denial. Obviously, I have spent years denying that I had a real problem and that I could overcome it with “will power” or the other great line “…I’ll just stop eating…” I have a friend, that is a recovered alcoholic, and he always said giving up booze was easier than food. Because, you CAN just stop drinking, stopping food eventually kills you… he always said that recovery rate would be zero, if every AA member had to take three shots a day, but was still required to stop all other drinking. So how did Denial sink it’s claws into me? I have been doing much better than I thought I would with the liquid diet, and the Queen of Denial was whispering to me last night…If you have done this good so far, just keep it up, skip the surgery and save the money…maybe your will power will hold out this time…ARRRRGGHHH. Denial is one seductive bitch! So how do you combat Denial? I use the mirror test. I taped a picture of me from high school/college times (about 190LBS), and one of a friend of mine who has the look I want when I get to the other side, then I stand naked in front of the mirror and ask myself do I look like the picture? Obviously the answer is No. Denial, I abjure you, I reject you and I will overcome you. The sweet siren song of Denial will not lead me to the rocky shores to find myself, again wrecked and wondering how it all went wrong. I know the Lapband is only a tool, but, it is also a weapon in a lifelong battle that I will win this time.

I am a person comfortable with confrontation, and my guess is that in this case it would not help. Sorry to be brutal, but you have opened Pandora's box already. If she did not respect your wishes the first time, she won't the second time, so why waste your time. Unfortunately, we can never really stop people from talking or judging us: 1. This is about you, not them...let them go their own way. You will find out who the real friends are at work. 2. People will always judge others, even if, it is only to make themselves feel better 3. Our weight is a private concern, but a public issue, it is right out there in open just like our hair color, or eye color etc... 4. Unless they have been the situation, they will never really understand. 5. Even if this was the easy way out, which it is not, then I would still take it to correct the issues we all have to deal with related to our weights. The bottom line to this is it takes conviction in the face of adverse circumstances and opinions to be successful in almost everything in life. You have taken a very positive step in making your life and lives of the family who loves you much better. I know it is easy for us to sit back and offer this advice, but it most likely the only thing that can be done. I hope this helps,

So…day three of the liquid fast and I am doing well. However, it has been said that perspective is a wonderful thing…it can help you see new options and often reveal things to which you have become immune. For me the new revelation is how much food is advertised on TV. Like most of us here, I would go on diets and minimize some foods, but never really thought of them as off-limits, just delayed. I returned home from the gym last night, sat in my favorite chair, cracked open a Slim-fast and prepared to watch some TV. Then the parade of food porn began, minus the bad Jacuzzi jazz, first it was Chili’s, then Applebee’s, then Outback Steak House, then Taco Bell (I don’t like them, but still food), then Pizza Hut and it just kept going. I couldn’t take it…I had to stop watching. I looked at my wife and said I have to go read a book, I was optically over stimulated. I was not hungry, but marketing weasels did a good job and I wanted to eat. I removed myself from the TV and went to another room. After I downed my Slim-fast and read for awhile and I stopped thinking about food. Going forward, Tivo will be my new best friend so I can fast forward through those commercials in the future. It was a great opportunity to learn more about how my brain works, how effective the marketing weasels can be and how to manage the urges of my gluttonous past.

Yes, It is always nice to be asked out.

Great Story, You look great. I can only hope to have that kind of success. Shaun

For me it is 240 lbs, I am currently 370. I am only 5'8", but that was the weight that I wrestled at during High School and College. I had a 36" waist and was very happy with my body in that form.

That sounds odd, Most of the places I looked insisted on meeting the surgeon. It just be their process, but Dr. Oliak lead the seminar I went to. Shaun

So…day three of the liquid fast and I am doing well. However, it has been said that perspective is a wonderful thing…it can help you see new options and often reveal things to which you have become immune. For me the new revelation is how much food is advertised on TV. Like most of us here, I would go on diets and minimize some foods, but never really thought of them as off-limits, just delayed. I returned home from the gym last night, sat in my favorite chair, cracked open a Slim-fast and prepared to watch some TV. Then the parade of food porn began, minus the bad Jacuzzi jazz, first it was Chili’s, then Applebee’s, then Outback Steak House, then Taco Bell (I don’t like them, but still food), then Pizza Hut and it just kept going. I couldn’t take it…I had to stop watching. I looked at my wife and said I have to go read a book, I was optically over stimulated. I was not hungry, but marketing weasels did a good job and I wanted to eat. I removed myself from the TV and went to another room. After I downed my Slim-fast and read for awhile and I stopped thinking about food. Going forward, Tivo will be my new best friend so I can fast forward through those commercials in the future. It was a great opportunity to learn more about how my brain works, how effective the marketing weasels can be and how to manage the urges of my gluttonous past.

Dr. Oliak suggested Optifast or the Slimfast (low carb) vs. Slimfast (Optima) which as you indicated has higher calories. I went with Slimfast since it was simple to get at the Albertson's or Wal-mart

Back to work on Monday and had to face the first lunch on the liquid diet. I took my Slim-Fast with me to Red Robin and ordered an Iced Tea to drink. It was odd, since everyone felt the need to feed me, when I was fixed on having just my protein drink. I got through one of the first hurdles, on dealing with public eating. Just a short post for today.

Back to work on Monday and had to face the first lunch on the liquid diet. I took my Slim-Fast with me to Red Robin and ordered an Iced Tea to drink. It was odd, since everyone felt the need to feed me, when I was fixed on having just my protein drink. I got through one of the first hurdles, on dealing with public eating. Just a short post for today.

Yesterday was the first day of trying the liquids to lose my required 20 lbs. It was a great test of my cognitive programming. I went to Trader Joes to buy a supply of drinks and liquid vitamins. As I was driving to the store, I noticed signs for two new restaurants in my area (PF Changs and the Yard House), my initial reaction was, cool I love their…oh shit can’t do that anymore…ok must re-boot and upload new behavioral code. I was both dismayed at my Pavlovian training towards food and pleased to be able to recognize the behavior for what is was and manage the reaction. Next, I went the gym, and ran a few errands. However, while I was out my wife sent me a text and asking for some items from the grocery store…ok, not a problem, it was a short list. I picked all of the other the stuff and went over to the deli counter for the final item…sliced turkey, at the counter they handed me the first slice as a sample and I ate it without thinking. Damn, busted by my own reactions. Now, I realize that a single slice of turkey will not ruin an otherwise on target day of protein drinks, but it was amazing to me how ingrained the food response is in my life. I am sure most of you out there have had these moments of epiphany and have overcome them. Obviously, this event shows how much of the process is mental, not physical, but God I felt like the dog when bell rang. The final challenge of the day was going to bed, the stomach growled, and I can’t sleep when I am hungry. Not to fear…I did go find another protein drink and got through the night, but as I was thinking about my eating habits, it became clear to me the night time is my greatest challenge and I have to come up with a new plan for laying myself down to sleep…I tried, Enter Sandman from Metallica, but that did not work either. I think I will have to start some herbal teas or something else. I told my wife sex every night would help…I am male after all. So what do you guys do to get through the night time munchies?

Hi, I am set for surgery on May 6th and in California.

Yesterday was the first day of trying the liquids to lose my required 20 lbs. It was a great test of my cognitive programming. I went to Trader Joes to buy a supply of drinks and liquid vitamins. As I was driving to the store, I noticed signs for two new restaurants in my area (PF Changs and the Yard House), my initial reaction was, cool I love their…oh shit can’t do that anymore…ok must re-boot and upload new behavioral code. I was both dismayed at my Pavlovian training towards food and pleased to be able to recognize the behavior for what is was and manage the reaction. Next, I went the gym, and ran a few errands. However, while I was out my wife sent me a text and asking for some items from the grocery store…ok, not a problem, it was a short list. I picked all of the other the stuff and went over to the deli counter for the final item…sliced turkey, at the counter they handed me the first slice as a sample and I ate it without thinking. Damn, busted by my own reactions. Now, I realize that a single slice of turkey will not ruin an otherwise on target day of protein drinks, but it was amazing to me how ingrained the food response is in my life. I am sure most of you out there have had these moments of epiphany and have overcome them. Obviously, this event shows how much of the process is mental, not physical, but God I felt like the dog when bell rang. The final challenge of the day was going to bed, the stomach growled, and I can’t sleep when I am hungry. Not to fear…I did go find another protein drink and got through the night, but as I was thinking about my eating habits, it became clear to me the night time is my greatest challenge and I have to come up with a new plan for laying myself down to sleep…I tried, Enter Sandman from Metallica, but that did not work either. I think I will have to start some herbal teas or something else. I told my wife sex every night would help…I am male after all. So what do you guys do to get through the night time munchies?

Hi Folks, I now have a date for surgery May 6th. Who else is get the band in May? Shaun

Hi Folks, Moved this thread to the post above...