stardustandsunshine

I'm 100 pounds into a 300-pound weight loss adventure, and I'm having the same problem everyone who's ever lost a large amount of weight has struggled with: excess skin. Instead of a spare tire around my middle, I have two floppy inner tubes separated by a waist. Above my belly button, I have lumpy cottage cheese skin that's not a problem other than appearance (which doesn't bother me yet and is easily fixed with shapewear) and frequent yeast infections in my belly button (which is easily fixed with antifungal cream). My lower apron, though, is really heavy, and since I'm still over 350, it's still an actual, full fat roll. It hangs down between panniculus level 1 and level 2, so not extreme yet. I think the problem is more the weight than the size. My question is, how do the rest of you ladies find comfortable underwear once the loose skin starts to become an issue? For years I've been wearing Just My Size cotton briefs, but the ones I have now are so stretched out they don't fit properly and they're so threadbare I've had to throw some out. I guess they've changed their patterns and their material, though, because the new ones I've bought do not fit properly and the material doesn't have any "give" to it at all. I've tried my usual size, a larger size, and a smaller size, and none of them fit comfortably. I want something that tucks under my tummy pooch, because I recently got an office job and now spend a large part of my day sitting in a chair with my apron spread across my lap, and here in Missouri where the humidity is already 95% and the heat index is "only" 100 degrees Fahrenheit, having heavy bare skin laying against another layer of bare skin is even less comfortable than it sounds. Plus, the crotch is too short and narrow, which is a different kind of uncomfortable, and the leg elastic stretching across my belly is itchy and irritating and makes my stomach bunch up in weird lumps. (I haven't started wearing lower shapewear yet but in this heat, shapewear isn't really an option.) I've also tried Hanes and Woman Within, but had a similar fit issue. I don't care what it looks like as long as it fits comfortably. I usually dress casually in jeans, so they don't have to be seamless or non-clingy or anything, but I do need something that's easy to move around in, do light exercise in, and sit in (my days are varied and I usually don't have an opportunity to change my underwear between activities). I tried boy shorts a few years ago but otherwise I usually wear briefs. Any ideas? Thanks!

If Spanx-type tummy control is what you're looking for, try FullBeauty.com under shapewear. They have shapewear briefs that go all the way up to 8X. I have a 5X or 6X that fit me just fine at almost 400 pounds. If you're looking for regular cotton underwear to accommodate your belly, I like Catherine's high-waisted briefs (the ones that come in a pack of 3). They have enough material to cover your stomach but the leg holes are cut low enough that they shouldn't sag under the weight of your stomach. I buy mine one size too large (they go up to underwear size 16, which I think is the equivalent of a 6X in pants), tuck the excess fabric under my "apron" and it keeps me from chafing without being too bulky. They're a bit on the pricey side, but watch for a buy 2, get 1 free sale.

I have finally found the Holy Grail of plus size underwear! Well, at least as far as comfort is concerned. They're not the prettiest lingerie I've ever seen, but I'm the only one who's looking at my underwear at the moment and I don't care how it looks as long as it does its job. Anyway, I'm now wearing Catherines cotton panties, item #41598 from their website. They're cotton, they're comfortable, the leg holes are on my actual legs where they belong, and since everything is covered, I don't have skin rubbing together and that nasty, slippery, sweaty chafing has stopped. They were a little baggy in the back when I first got them, but after one washing they shrunk up a bit to where they're more like panties than a cotton diaper. (I did get one size larger than I normally wear, to make sure the leg holes were big enough, and I'm glad I did because now that I've washed and dried them they fit perfectly.) I also liked Bali's skimp skamp briefs, but they didn't have cotton ones in my size, and the microfiber ones are silky like nylon and offer no sweat protection at all. They're nice if you need slick underwear for whatever reason, though. (I wear them under skirts--no static cling.) I'm also back in my real jeans now that I can sit comfortably, and back on the treadmill. During my online shopping, I saw dozens of reviewers who had the same problem I did with leg holes cut too large, crotches too short, the front not being roomy enough to accommodate a belly without pulling the waistband down, and the material not having enough "give" to it. I'm glad I'm not the only one, and I hope manufacturers will listen to their shoppers' complaints.

@JamieLogical: That's okay, I kind of opened myself up to questions when I opened my mouth. And the answer is, we're getting there. It's not really a question of "if" any more so much as "when." Neither one of us is interested in a casual fling and neither one of us is quite ready to get married yet, so we're both in this sort of limbo between friends and more than friends. I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. We've talked about relationships several times before and we both agree that taking it slow and getting to know the other person and building a solid friendship is the most important part of any romantic relationship. He was engaged a few years ago and it ended badly. It took him a long time to get over it. He said awhile back that he's afraid to try again. "What if I really click with someone now and 20 years down the road we turn out to be two completely different people and we break up? There aren't any guarantees in life." (A guy friend of mine tells me most guys go through this phase before they get serious about a girl.) I don't think he's a commitment-phobe, though. We talk about things like what he did wrong before and learning from his mistakes. (I've never had a serious relationship myself, but for my part, I talk about what I would want from a future boyfriend.) Over the past six months or so, he's slowly escalated from "I'm not looking for a relationship" to getting to know each other's family and friends, talking about things we're going to be doing together months or a year from now, and even joking about marriage. He's altered plans for his immediate future to fit around me, and as we each talk about where we see our lives going, our long-term plans are heading in ever-more-similar directions. He discusses his decisions with me and encourages me in my career when I ask his advice. I'm the first person he calls whenever he has a major life event. As long as things are moving in a forward direction and I'm comfortable with where we're at, I'm fine with giving him all the time and space he needs. The more I get to know him the more sure I am that he's "the one," but even if we somehow don't end up together, he's still been an awesome friend and a great example. I've been lucky and blessed to have him in my life, and some other girl is going to be very fortunate someday. I didn't mean to get so off-topic. My point was just that there are plenty of guys out there who will love us no matter what size we are. Those of us who've already met one are very fortunate and those of you who haven't, it's just a matter of time.

My "just friend" (we have to clarify that to people because apparently it's pretty obvious to everyone besides the two of us that we're not really "just" friends) and I have talked about body image and weight a few times. The first time he said very firmly "you're big, but you're healthy, and that's what's important" and then changed the subject. Another time he said that for many guys, it's not about size so much as shape and (very enthusiastically) some guys LIKE curvy women! (Plus, of course, larger women have bigger "basic B's" and that's always a good thing.) He has a much thinner idea of "curvy" than I do, but he's always been vocal about not liking "girls with their bones sticking out." We first met when I was 424 pounds. I've been down to 305, back up to 374 and am down to 356 now. No matter what size I happen to be, he still makes me feel good about myself. He's never once made me feel like my weight is an issue. He did tell somebody once (about 50 pounds ago, by the way) that I was "pretty much perfect just the way I was." He's expressed interest in girls with a variety of different body types, most of them much thinner than I am, but I also catch him staring at me when he thinks I'm not looking, and he likes to be in my personal space and find excuses to touch me and lean hard against me when he wants to say something quietly in my ear and a couple of times he's put his arm around me, so I don't think losing more weight will make him any less attracted to me. I'm never going to be bony or athletic, and those are the only two body types he's specifically expressed disinterest in. But honestly, I think in a healthy relationship, as long as you're making an effort with your appearance and with the relationship, he's not going to lose interest. Have you ever met anyone who wasn't really that good looking, but the more you got to know him, the more attractive he got? If you maintain the person you are on the inside, it's going to show on the outside no matter what size you are. I'm always blown away by compliments on how I look, but it happens at least a couple of times a month, so I must be doing something right! I just do the best I can with what I've got, and remember that the one thing I CAN change is my attitude. Even at my heaviest I insisted on doing my hair and makeup and putting on real clothes. (It makes me sad to see heavy women whose appearance screams "I don't respect myself and I don't expect you to respect me, either!") I have a strict rule that I have to look at myself in the mirror every morning and find something nice to say before I leave the house. The first time I did this, I stood there for the longest time staring at myself. Then I cried and went back to bed. The next day, the same thing. By day 4, I was getting desperate. I had to go to work! So I mumbled that I guessed my hair was kind of okay, sort of, and slunk off to work feeling bad because I hadn't kept the deal I made with myself. That night someone commented on how I'm always smiling and what a nice smile I had. I went back to that darn mirror and realized other people do NOT see me the same way that I see myself. I see a shy, awkward, nerdy blob of fat. Other people see a friendly smile, nice hair, and a great sense of humor. I've found that when you act like you expect people to like you, and make an effort to be likeable, people think you're better looking. And it helps that I've found a real keeper, too.

I finally got the Comfort Choice cooling boxer briefs I ordered from Woman Within. I can see why guys like boxers! These are really cool and open and comfortable. I imagine they'd be great for lounging or sleeping in. But for everyday use, they just seem a little TOO open for someone with lady parts, if you know what I mean. So I'm still searching for that perfect pair of briefs. I still wear anywhere from a size 26 to a size 32, depending on the shape and style. (Annoyingly, my waist is about a 22/24 but because I still have a gut, my hips are probably two sizes bigger. In order for my pants to be big enough to sit down in comfortably, they practically fall off when I sit down. I gave in and got my old elastic-waist stretch jeans back out since I have a sit-down job now. I just keep telling myself this won't last forever!)

Thanks, and good luck with your surgery. My hairstylist had a tummy tuck to remove her C-section flap and says once it starts causing sores and infections, insurance will often pay for it even if you haven't hit your goal weight yet. I don't have insurance and I doubt skin removal surgery is an option for me yet anyway. At this point I don't really have loose hanging skin so much as loose hanging fat rolls. I think once it's not so heavy it will be easier to deal with. My upper roll isn't a big problem and my chest I just stuff into my bra, smooth out as best I can, and it doesn't bother me. The side skin is an issue with bras that have low-cut armholes, but the Goddess bras with side boning keep everything in place, hold "the girls" up away from my chest so I don't have the same skin-on-skin sweat issue there, and they look pretty good under my clothes, too. Once it's cooler and I have more skin than fat, I imagine I can use shaping underwear basically the same way--lift it up, stuff it in, and smooth it out as best I can.

I tried boy briefs recently but had the same problem with them being cut too high to tuck under my belly roll. I've ordered two different brands of ladies boxer briefs. The Hanes ones from Walmart should be here today. I really hope they help. My sister thinks it's nuts to get so excited about new underwear, but I've gotten to the point where I don't want to do anything because I'm so uncomfortable, and I'm back to my elastic-waist stretch denim shorts because they leave some breathing room. I hate the way they look, I hate the way they fit, and I feel like I'm giving in somehow or letting my weight get the best of me, y'know? The other brand I've ordered is Comfort Choice from Woman Within. They look like they fit more loosely and they're not seamless, but it says "cooling" so I hope that means they won't make me sweat too much.

I broke down and got out some of my old elastic-waist stretch jean shorts today. They're so much shorter, lighter, and looser than the button-and-fly actual jeans I've been wearing. I feel sort of free. Also like a fat girl in baggy shorts. But they're not as binding as the jeans, so the skin isn't rubbing as much today. LOL! I knew if anyone would understand it would be a group like this. I, too, am mourning the loss of my favorite underwear. I'm actually still a little too big for most of Lane Bryant's clothes, but I might check them out anyway. I'm planning a trip to the mall soon and like someone else said, I may have to just go to a store and ask for help. Yeah, nothing remotely embarrassing about THAT! Do the boxers bunch up or cause wedgies? That was my problem with the boy shorts. As far as the infection, do you mean yeast infections in your belly button? Mine bothered me, too, until I figured out what it was. Dry the inside of your belly button out with a cotton swab, then use the other end or a dry swab to spread some antifungal cream around inside your belly button. (I use just cheap generic clotrimazole like you would use on athlete's foot.) Do it twice a day and after a few days the infection should be cleared up. It will keep coming back, but if you stay on top of it the itching and the odor don't get to be too problematic. I can totally relate! And my van doesn't have a working air conditioner, either! I hate to sweat at all, even when I'm working out, and I want a shower immediately afterward. During the worst part of the summer, that blast of heat when you go outside is hard to breathe in. But my life and my family are here and I can't imagine leaving it all behind, and we do have some gorgeous fall weather for about 2 hours once a year! Thanks for the ideas, everyone! I'll keep them in mind when I go shopping next weekend.