her1981

I have to slightly agree that they rip us off for plus sizes. I'll take Old Navy for example because they sell EVERYTHING. The misses xxl might cost $20, but the plus 1x or 2x costs $40... same amount of material in my humble opinion. And in the mens, there is NO difference in price between the regular and the big and tall.

I don't even know where to begin. Mentally, I am drained... I had been trying to lose weight for the last 15 years or so, with many, many, too many ups and downs; and in the process gained over 100 pounds. Now in the past year, I have lost almost 150 pounds. As I sit here 2 pounds away from 150 pounds lost, I am amazed (see ashamed, dumbfounded, embarrassed) that even with that much of a loss I have so much more to lose. I don't even know how to feel about it. How did this happen? How was I so far gone? I'd been 300+ since I was 17. This is just mind-boggling. During all the testing for the sleeve, a bunch of health issues were uncovered. Things that I feel like should've been found or addressed over the years as I've had other ailments and such that have required testing, but I digress. Anyway, after the sleeve was performed, I was notified of a malignant tumor on my stomach that was cut away with the sleeve,and a humongous staghorn kidney stone that had taken up residence in my left kidney. I have to follow up with an oncologist to make sure all is clear, and I've recently had 2 surgeries to get rid of the kidney stone. I feel like the sleeve has saved my life, truly, but my God this journey has shown me how bad off I really was (am?). I'm 34 and there were things happening in my body that don't typically affect people until later in life. (I've got a couple other issues not addressed in this post...) I had literally fallen apart! I'm grateful that none of this is fatal and the doctors are "rebuilding" me piece by piece. So as I'm trying to define what is healthy for me weight-wise, I have all these doctors in my head and it is literally driving me crazy. Bariatric surgeon gave me a goal, pcp has another goal, urologist has a goal... Meanwhile, I have tons of dietary restrictions due to the different health issues. I'm overwhelmed mentally and emotionally. This process has become far more than I bargained for. I'm grateful, for sure, but this journey is...just that. A true journey. Anyway, I guess this post is long enough. I just needed a place to put my feelings. :-)

I so appreciate the encouragement and support. No one I know seems to understand these burdens.

@@gowalking I feel totally betrayed by my body. I'm trying to forgive myself for the abuse.

My doctor set my goal weight at 230 pounds. Any more than that is gravy. Frankly, I'm ok with that as a goal weight, but I've noticed that many people's goals are those on the BMI chart for their height. Would you be ok if you don't get to that weight? Just curious.

If another person tells me I don't need to lose anymore weight... How can I still be almost 300 pounds and NOT look like I need to lose more weight?????????????? People and their perceptions. "How much more weight are you going to lose???" "You're going to disappear" (FAT chance of that happening) "I don't think you need to lose anymore weight. You look great!" Thanks for your concern. It's nice and all, but I'm not done. RANT OVER....

I still weigh more than most people starting weights. At 293 pounds, there is nothing small or skinny about me. It's just freaking ridiculous. I'm hoping people adjust sooner rather than later. I think I'm struggling to accept the changes myself as I have never experienced life as an adult under 300 pounds. I do feel like a stranger in my body from time to time. I think people's comments about are giving me anxiety or making me insecure. This truly is a mental process.

@@Kindle Thank you. :-)

@@dhrguru I thought about that. How ridiculous! Especially after being over 300 pounds for my ENTIRE adult life!

@@madeline121 If you think that's bad, no one (except my immediate family) said ANYTHING to me until I lost 100!!!!

You are so right. I had them re-check me at my last visit and I still have a goal weight of over 200 pounds based on my % of body fat, muscle mass, and bone density. Of the 140 pounds I've lost, only 20 was muscle. So now I'm left wondering if I'll be over 200 pounds and still healthy. Interestingly, I went to see a doctor on Friday (not my bariatric surgeon) and he asked if I was planning to lose anymore weight. I said "yes, I'm still fat" and he waved me off saying I was REALLY healthy. I fully intend to get to 230ish, but maybe that's it for me??? Only time will tell.

Yes! There's something about cheetos! I have fallen "victim" to them a couple times, lol!

They used the machine that measures body fat, muscle, bone, and Water. According to that, my fat free weight was 180, so I could weigh up to 230 and have a healthy percentage of body fat.

I did low carb to drop weight before the surgery. It's pretty effective. Do you have and anticipated surgery date?

@@spdmonkeymama My BMI was 70 on surgery day. My doctor didn't require me to lose anything, but pre op I lost 33 pounds. I had my surgery in June at 402. I am currently 294... It's crazy.

@@spdmonkeymama That's where I am. Having been 435 a year ago, the fact that I'm currently under 300 is a dream. I am 294 right now and I remember graduating from high school at 292. I've never been under 300 as an adult, so this was my first goal. Now that I'm here, I'm struggling to figure out what my next goal needs to be.

My husband asked me if I was shooting for "onderland". I told him no, cuz I'm really not, but who knows how I'll feel as I get closer?

2 weeks in I couldn't walk long or far. I would literally walk every aisle in Walmart or Target and lean on the cart for support. Don't push yourself so soon.

@@tappingmom Interesting. I wonder if I am "comfortable" with the 230 because I don't want to be disappointed if I don't get any lower than that. I was like 230 pounds in 8th grade , so I don't really know what it's like to be normal weight. I wonder if I'll change my mind the closer I get to "goal".